(Inspired by a current Pit thread.)
Open to women and men for anecdote and wild speculation.
Dancing to me isn’t particularly important, but if I wanted to dance (which is so rare), I like it when men are willing to relax and have fun with it. It tends to be true of everything for me. I like when people can just relax and have fun with whatever situation they get dropped into. So dancing is just an example of that.
Thoughts?
Dancing, especially slow dancing, is like foreplay. You’re physically close, touching, and you’re doing it in front of other people, no less. I think it’s hot. 
The other day, I’ll probably be pitted for this, but I threw in my CD called “Back to Titanic” which was the second soundtrack to Titanic. This one has some dialogue bits.
Anyway, they include the music, and the dialogue to the ‘steerage class party’ where Jack and Rose dance to the Irish music. Without the visuals of them dancing, what they said, they way they said it, it is completly pornographic. It’s a complete sex scene.
Yes, but if you’re no good at it, it’s embarassing. So it’s just easier to sit and talk (at which I’m much better at.)
It shows self-confidence, which is so very important. Who cares if it’s embarrassing? It’s one of the things I value highly in a guy - can he laugh at himself? Can he stand a little embarrassment?
Is it a dealbreaker? My god, no, or I would have to leave my current SO. But if there was any one thing I would change in him, this would be it.
Yeah, but a lot of women like guys who are carefree enough to go ahead, throw caution to the wind and have fun even if they look goofy. My ex-girlfriend loves guys who dance because, she said, “It shows they aren’t too uptight to have fun.”
Not all these apply to me in particular, but here are some thoughts.
Because its fun.
Because I have very fond memories of dancing with my grandfathers and uncles and father that I want my children and my grandchildren to have of my husband. (This is probably my biggest regret that Brainiac4 doesn’t dance much).
Because its sexy.
Because its romantic.
Because a guy who can polka or salsa or swing or waltz bothered to learn, either because he really likes it or because he was doing unselfishly to give enjoyment to someone else - I’ll take either motivation. (I’ll even take selfishly because he thought it would help him get laid - its still initiative).
Because in a loud environment you can’t sit and talk anyway, so why go to a dance club if you aren’t dancing. (I don’t like club dancing, loud, smoking, lots of drunks - never my thing).
Because when you drive five hours to a wedding where you know almost no one you can either sit around the reception with your spouse making small talk to near strangers or you can dance.
Because there are events and times where dancing is expected. Women are given the idea of a “first dance” at a wedding and a “father daughter” dance from the time they are young, and these are implanted into our cultural memories. They become important to many people like a lot of elements of cultural baggage.
Because dancing is an expected social nicety of people of a certain culture and class. Like thank you notes and hostess gifts or being able to play a round of golf.
Female non-dancer here. I just wanted to say that I do like watching other people dance. Anyone who does it at all is better at it than me, so I’m not being critical.
Just don’t pester me to get up and shake anything.
Same here. Guys are usually relieved, too, when they hear I have no intention on dancing. Ever. Maybe a bit, intoxicated, while out with girlfriends, but nothing one-on-one. Not since high school, anyway, and it doesn’t take much skill to wrap your arms around one another and spin in ever-increasing circles to Stairway to Heaven. At least not until the fast part comes in.
Heh. Hi, sister.
I can’t dance at all. I’m not embarrassed by that.
My girlfriend is all about me dancing, and I absolutely hate, hate, hate, hate dancing. I can’t do it, I don’t like doing it, and I feel like an awkward idiot. On top of that, I’m not exactly a small guy (6’3", 190 lbs.) and I stick out like a sore thumb of dancing ineptitude.
I’ll slow dance because that takes pretty much no skill, and I’d even be willing to learn a more “scripted” type of dance, but out there free-style fast dancing? Hell no.
And I don’t think it has anything to do with my ability to laugh at myself (no problem there) or that I take myself too seriously (no way…), and my girlfriend would be perfectly content to dance with me alone. But I just don’t like it.
I’m willing to try anything once, and I’ve tried dancing a handful of times. To me, it’s like bowling. A lot of people really enjoy it, but some people absolutely can’t have fun with it. Why does it have to be such a big deal?
Let us make a distinction here:
There’s the kind of **“solo”**dancing where you just shake it and wave it and twirl, and you can do that in the general direction of your “partner” or you can enter the dancefloor alone.
And then there’s the classical form of dancing, in pairs, that is impossible to do on your own, and weird if you do it with a member of the same sex. Waltzing, salsa, and tango fall in this category.
I can’t do pairdancing, only solodancing. As I can do that alone, I don’t really care if a guy will or won’t dance. Although, if I want to get to know a guy better, I like watch him dance. But I also like to watch him write or talk or deal with little children, or nasty staff, or in any other interesting situation.
For those who say they can’t dance I will tell you that dancing, like everything else is about practice. The first time you dance you will be out of step with the music and be uncoordinated, but do it again and again and you will get better.
No expects a first time bicycle rider to just do it, or a first time swimmer to know all the strokes. It helps if you practice somewhere other than a crowded club, at home for instance, and it really helps if you have a steady parner who can dance. But even without a partner, turn on the music at home and move to it, the more you do it the better you’ll get.
It’s not going to make or break a guy, but guys with a good sense of rhythm are sexy, whether its dancing or as a musician. Even if he doesn’t have a good sense of rhythm, the willingness to go out on a dance floor and not give a damn what other people think is very cool.
A guy who’s willing to dance, even if he’s not Fred Astaire, sends two messages: 1) I’m comfortable with my body and 2) I’m not scared to look silly in public.
A guy who flat-out refuses to dance also sends two messages: 1) I’m uptight and 2) I’m not very sensual. Now those two messages might not be true, but that’s what he’s projecting.
Guess which guy is sexier?
I’m a guy, and I have good enough rhythm to dance. I don’t know if I’d say I like to dance, but I’ll tell you one thing. Guys who dance tend to get laid.
My gf looooooves to dance. We go to see bands with the specific idea that we will be dancing. She has taught me to dance to cajun, zydeco, salsa music. It’s a blast.
For the life of me, I never understood why other guys would not ask women to dance. You have an automatic “in” - women are almost always looking for dance partners. You (as a man) have an automatic opportunity to meet them, stand close, hold them (if a slow dance), etc etc etc. I never saw the downside and whenever I go out to a club that has a dance floor, I dance.
This is precisely what I’ve been trying to find out in the aforementioned Pit thread, and for about two decades before that.
I’m not a woman, for it seems reasonable to me that they like it for the same reason I like women who can dance. It’s a very arousing sort of thing.