Referencing this thread:
…in which multiple people point out that a much greater proportion of women enjoy dancing than men.
To be clear, the question here is not why you personally do or do not like dancing. Instead, the question is why there’s such a substantial gender disparity. Got any insight?
Maybe because women(in general) don’t feel as self-conscious about moving their bodies in creative ways(?) I could understand a man thinking it’s not masculine; I don’t agree but I think that’s a big part of it.
I have related WAG: as a gender we males are insecure and do not especially enjoy being the one of the couple less skilled. Odds are our partner will be better at it than we are. We are also afraid of others passing negative judgment on us. The same mentality that has lifters doing stupid lifts because they think that others are watching and judging when no one else cares.
Dancing is commonly a courting/attraction ritual. Men, typically being the aggressor, are judged more harshly for incompetent courting. Women are less likely to be mocked for inept dancing because the guy is still going to want to be with her. Thus men are, on some level, dancing to impress and women are dancing for fun. Stakes are higher, fun is less especially if you go into it knowing that you’re unskilled.
Put more simply, men are more likely to be called a fucking dork for dancing like an idiot especially at ages where you’d typically learn how to dance.
That’s probably part of it. But speaking only for myself, I get no enjoyment whatsoever from dancing. If that’s gender based or random chance, I don’t know.
Dancing violates the unalterable gender-role imposed on men: ‘always be in control.’ Because outside of traditional waltzing and such, there’s really no way to be in control of the activity.
So even men who don’t consciously glory in their imposed gender-role are going to be at least mildly uncomfortable when asked to participate in dancing.
An argument in the past I’ve seen on this matter is that dancing can be roughly divided into gender “styles”, each designed to fit the typical tastes of the gender in question. “Feminine” dance styles leaning towards grace and dexterity, masculine styles leaning towards energy and physical strength. And that as a culture, we almost only practice “feminine style” dancing that naturally, appeals to women more so dancing isn’t as popular with the men. It makes a certain sense to me since it’s hardly a universal thing that men don’t dance much.
Kind of reminds me of the old “women don’t like computer games” canard; it turns out that if you refuse to make games that appeal to women, they won’t play them. But change the games being made to appeal to them and suddenly they become popular with the ladies. Perhaps the same is true of dancing in the opposite direction, although it would be harder to make happen since there’s no arbiter of dance styles.
I also don’t get enjoyment from it. But I think women look much better flailing around to music than most men do.
I think a large part of it is that it is an activity generally performed in company. I know plenty of guys that are happy to look like dorks playing sports. Golfers with laughably inept swings that produce appropriately rubbish results. Tennis players that often look like they are drunk while playing. Even runners that look on the verge of collapse with every stride. But no-one is watching.
I think men are more likely to make fun of men who dance than women are of women who like to dance.
It is an odd activity, and I personally think women dancing look better than dancing men. I will admit I enjoy dancing, much more so if I like either the music or the women doing it. It seems healthy to use different parts of one’s brain, develop rhythm and balance, and move more in general, apart from added social benefits.
They’re better at it.
The male sex (and/or the masculine gender) have not appointed me SpokesDude, nor are they likely to, so I can only speak for myself.
Dances are still one of the most rigidly gendered social environments, or at least they were the last time I attended one. I don’t like being the “asker”. I would imagine dances are a lot more fun if you can show up and react to people who come up to you and ask you to dance with them. This may or may not be a factor in why other males dislike dancing but it’s demonstratably something that is experienced differently depending on one’s gender.
I disagree with the premise.
I’ve been re-watching Ken Burns’ Jazz documentary and it would seem that men not liking dancing is a new-ish phenomenon. Like maybe since the 60s? Because there didn’t seem to be a dearth of men on the dance floor in the pre-war era. It also seemed like the most socially acceptable way to talk to and touch women. What changed?
No, I have it on good authority that most of the girls like to dance but only some of the boys do.
I mean if we’re defining society to only mean antisocial White guys who listen to music not meant to be danced to, then I guess so?
I have it on pretty good authority that no guys are any good at it.
Yes, we’re talking about straight white guys. They were happy to foxtrot in the 1920s, jitterbug in the 1940s, and whatever one did to rock-n-roll in the 50s-60s; all forms pioneered by African Americans. Some even did as good at it as Black guys. But Disco, pioneered in gay as much as Black and Latino clubs, with its “look sexy” quality, wasn’t something that traditional white gender norms could adopt
When I was in college, I had a group of friends who were mostly Latino. We would go dancing and damn, they were good.
It was a great way for them to meet women, and they really enjoyed it.
OTOH, I’ve never been a good dancer and while I enjoyed going out with them I never met anyone dancing in college and probably looked even worse given my friends.
It seems to be cultural. In cultures where men dance more, they enjoy it more.
There’s also the fact that men have a lot more options for other sports related physical activity than women do. These other options (golf, tennis, running, etc. as mentioned above, as well as many others) fill the need for physical activity, so dancing isn’t something men who enjoy physical activity have to choose due to the large number of other options. Women’s sports activity opportunities aren’t as broad or numerous, so dancing is one of the fewer options available for women who enjoy physical activity.