Who is your current role model?

[tdn]

Or do you not believe in role models?

In general, I don't believe in them. But my current one is Heather, a coworker. The girls is absolutely amazingly beautiful. She has every right to act stuck up, cold, and bitchy. People would still love her. But she's not. She is the most warm, outgoing, friendliest person on the face of the Earth. She makes friends with everyone. She makes everyone feel good about themselves. She flirts with everyone she meets (men and women), but she is about as far away from slutty as one could get.

Oh, and she's smart as a whip.

I want to be more like her. Except, you know, taller. And without the nice rack.

[Anaamika]

I don't believe in them. I used to, until the one I had came crashing down off the pedestal I had put her on. Now I know - everyone is flawed, you just can't always see it.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

I don't believe in them. I used to, until the one I had came crashing down off the pedestal I had put her on.

Interesting. What happened there?

I also want to distinguish between role models and heros. Heather is my current role model, though that is sure to change someday. I am my own hero.

[Wallenstein]

Gotta be my dad. As I get older, I come to appreciate more and more what a great job he did bringing up his kids and providing for the family.

If I can get close to that I'll be a happy man.

[Elendil's Heir]

Ditto my dad. And a friend of mine who's smart, good-looking, always cheery and has a curiosity about life that I find delightful. Looking back in history, I've always admired various presidents for various qualities (Washington's courage and integrity, JFK's wit and joy in life, Lincoln's patience, humility and writing ability, Truman's optimism and good cheer, TR's exuberance and wide-ranging interests).

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by tdn

Interesting. What happened there?

Huh. No one's ever asked me to elaborate!

We were both in our teens. I was the only one in our circle that hadn't grown up around the area, so I was definitely an outsider. I also had a big, big issue with some emotional abuse at home, so I was a very unhappy child and often lashed out.
She was always unfailingly kind and really nice. She was much prettier than I was, and I tried to be like her - always patient, always proper. Why, she even had control of her curly hair, and it looked lovely, whereas mine at the time just looked like a straw mat. She was loving and wonderful to her parents, and many times my parents said to me "Why can't you be more like her?" Once my mother even said, "I wish she was my daugher instead of you."
This went on for a couple of years, until I was 17 and she was 18.
Unbeknownst to me - remember, again, I was somewhat outside of the lighted circle! - she had a boyfriend. I met this boyfriend, separately from her. He was a really nice guy! Danced wonderfully - first guy I met that danced, and was wonderfully nice to me. I thought he was interested in me.
We talked for a couple of nights on the phone, me and this boyfriend. He talked to me for over two hours each night.
I was pretty happy and of course I told my friends. Some of them knew he was supposed to be with her, but didn't tell me. (Some friends.) Anyway, of course word got back to her.

Immediately she turned into a screeching harpy. She accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend, and wouldn't believe me when I said I honestly didn't know they were dating. I maintain that to this day! I honestly did not know. But not only did she not believe me, none of my friends did.
He denied ever having talked to me. That's right, he flat out lied about talking to me, ever, on the phone. And she believed him.

I was so devastated and hurt by the whole thing - she told everyone in our community what a slut I was. (I'd met him in person once! I was still a virgin! She was the first one to have a boyfriend!) and my reputation plummeted. In the Indian community reputation was huge.

And this girl, this lady, never once wondered why I would be lying.

I've gotten over it now, all but a little sting, but it certainly soured me on ever looking up to anyone again.

[OneCentStamp]

I have lots of people I seek to emulate in specific behaviors (and seek to not emulate in others!), but nobody I could just point to overall and say "I want to be like him/her."

[Bayard]

Originally Posted by e-logic

Gotta be my dad. As I get older, I come to appreciate more and more what a great job he did bringing up his kids and providing for the family.

If I can get close to that I'll be a happy man.

Another vote for "Dad". Also, a good friend of mine who, like my dad, shows the kind of strength and self-possession I would like to acheive. Love you guys!

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

I've gotten over it now, all but a little sting, but it certainly soured me on ever looking up to anyone again.

Wow. That's quite a story.

Yeah, we all have our downsides. In choosing to admire someone, I guess we just have to remember that we admire aspects of a person, not the person themselves.

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by tdn

Wow. That's quite a story.

Yeah, we all have our downsides. In choosing to admire someone, I guess we just have to remember that we admire aspects of a person, not the person themselves.

Oh, absolutely, but some lessons sink in so deep it's hard to get over them. I was reminded of this when that thread came up recently, "Would you date a separated but not divorced person?" I've never been involved with a married man but my best friend has, and watching her suffering and going through years of pain was enough to turn me off.

Same thing here only this time I experienced it.

[Who_me?]

My role model is Britney Spears.



I mean a girl with limited talent and limited intellect becomes a pop idol millionaire before falling flat on her face... and still is still thought as being newsworthy.



My idol.

[KneadToKnow]

I went through a period growing up when all my heroes were named Jim (Kirk, Rockford, West, probably a couple I'm forgetting now). I settled into a personality sometime in high school which I would say is based on the tripod of Jim Rockford, Lt. Dietrich from Barney Miller, and Alex Rieger from Taxi.

I watched a lot of TV as a kid.