Ask the Passive Aggressive Guy

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Go ahead, ask me anything. Don’t be afraid that your questions might be stupid and show off your complete ignorance. Just remember that asking questions is the best way to accrue* knowledge. Let me help you become a better person. I’d love to help!

And don’t think that you’re being a nuisance. My time really isn’t that much more important than yours. I can always take time out from my many, varied responsibilities to help you out by answering your queries. I consider it my personal duty to be of service to the less fortunate and disadvantaged. (A confession - I envy the amount of free time you obviously have to play around on the 'net. What fun it must be to be able to kick back and relax, read the SDMB all day.)

So, help me to help you.
*accrue= grow by addition; “The interest accrues”. I’m sure you knew that, but just in case you didn’t…

2

Cool. This will be just like a conversation with my mom.
Passive Agressive guy, what do you do when you’re in the passenger seat of the car, navigating, and the driver chooses not to follow your advice, say, to take this offramp?

3

Wouldn’t this be funny if Supes never comes back to answer these questions?

4

[QUOTE=bluethree]
Cool. This will be just like a conversation with my mom.
Passive Agressive guy, what do you do when you’re in the passenger seat of the car, navigating, and the driver chooses not to follow your advice, say, to take this offramp?
[/QUOTE]

Being a man of superior patience & tact, I resist the temptation to say “I told you so!” (or words to that effect) when the driver stubbornly insists on making foolhardy driving decisions. I’m only human though, so I really think I ought to be forgiven if I have an urge to glance at my watch to see how late the driver is making me for my appointment.
BTW, your mom is only human too; so if she fidgeted uncomfortably in the passenger seat when you insisted on taking the offramp to the wrong exit, just let it go. (I’ve a hunch that your question is based on a real incident, right?)

5

[QUOTE=Ludovic]
Wouldn’t this be funny if Supes never comes back to answer these questions?
[/QUOTE]

I ALWAYS answer questions directed to me, regardless of how trivial. I consider it rude not to. It’s important to impart wisdom, and share knowledge…when you have it to impart & share, that is, Lud. :wink:

6

Really?

You’re going out wear those pants with that shirt?

Pffft.

7

[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman]
Go ahead, ask me anything.
[/QUOTE]
Are you going to eat your French fries?

8

Dear Passive Aggressive Guy:

Remember a couple years ago when the mint kept changing the design of the nickel every couple of weeks? It’s my theory that no actually approved this; it was just some guy who works at the mint working out some “issues”.

Does that sound plausible? Was it you?

9

Dear Passive Aggressive Guy,
What’s your deal?

10

[QUOTE=elbows]
Really?

You’re going out wear those pants with that shirt?

Pffft.
[/QUOTE]

Indeed I am! That’s because I am a fashion / style trendsetter. Blindly following the trends may be all right for you, but I need to express myself. But don’t feel bad if you’re not as bold & daring as I am. it really does take a certain flair & panache that…not everybody has.

[QUOTE=Cervaise]
Are you going to eat your French fries?
[/QUOTE]

No, of course not. I have to maintain my stunning figure. It takes a lot of discipline & training to look this good you know. You go right ahead & eat them.

[QUOTE=Borborygmi]
It’s my theory that no actually approved this;
[/QUOTE]

Just in case you didn’t know, there is a handy new feature on the boards that allows you to edit typos in your posts. Still, nothing beats proof-reading your posts before you hit ‘post.’

11

Why do you think that “passive-aggressive” and “condescending” mean the same thing?

12

[QUOTE=vibrotronica]
Dear Passive Aggressive Guy,
What’s your deal?
[/QUOTE]

I am sensing a lot of repressed hostility in this deceptively simple question. Could it be that you’re really misdirecting some self-hatred at me? Perhaps what you’re really asking is “what’s your (Vibrotonica’s) deal?” If that’s the case, then I’m sure there are many qualified psychotherapists in your area who are more capable than me of helping you work through this deep-rooted neurosis of yours.

Not that it’s really any of my business, of course. Next question?

13

Dear P/A guy,

Sorry, I ate your luch out of the company fridge again. You really should mark the bag better. Also, I really need that $10 you borrowed last month. You do remember borrowing the money don’t you.

SSG Schwartz

14

Dear Passive Aggressive Guy,

Are you a huge fan of sticky notes?

15

[QUOTE=SSG Schwartz]
Dear P/A guy,

Sorry, I ate your luch out of the company fridge again. You really should mark the bag better.
[/QUOTE]
I think you work at my place! btw in about an hour you should be feeling some horrible stomach cramps.

16

[QUOTE=Misnomer]
Why do you think that “passive-aggressive” and “condescending” mean the same thing?
[/QUOTE]

Well, ‘passive aggressive’ is a term that tends to be used somewhat loosely. Let me try to explain it in a way that’s easy enough for you to understand. One definition of ‘passive aggression’ is to give unnecessary, or unasked-for advice or assistance in a deceptively cheerful manner that masks hostility. Whereas condescending people make no attempt to hide their superior attitude, passive aggressive people disguise their insults in the form of being helpful. That way, if the object of a passive aggressive person’s scorn tries to defend him/herself, the p.a. person can act as if he is the one under attack.

Had you given it much thought Misnomer, you might have realized that a better question to ask (rather than the one you did ask) would be 'Why do I define myself as a passive aggressive person, when in reality I am merely attempting to share my shrewd insightful nature for the benefit of each and every one of you?

But it’s okay. I’m not offended at all by your erroneous inference that I might be condescending to you.

[QUOTE=SSG Schwartz]
Sorry, I ate your luch out of the company fridge again. You really should mark the bag better. Also, I really need that $10 you borrowed last month. You do remember borrowing the money don’t you.
[/QUOTE]

Again, I feel it is my duty to mention that there is an edit function, so that you can correct grammatical errors when you have hastily posted sans proof-reading your comments. (I trust you do realize questions ought to be punctuated with a question mark?)

Anyway, it’s okay about my lunch. I realize it must be awful having to eat the humdrum, unappetizing lunches you bring to work, especially when you see the sumptuous meals I personally prepare for myself. As for the money, let’s call it even, you loaned me $10, I let you eat my lunch (which cost considerably more than $10 in ingredients, but I won’t quibble.) Sometime, when I’m not so considerably busy correcting all the mistakes you make at work, I’d be happy to give you some basic cooking lessons!

17

[QUOTE=Dunawake]
Dear Passive Aggressive Guy,

Are you a huge fan of sticky notes?
[/QUOTE]

No, no, no. Sticky notes are much too small to contain the amount of helpful information that I am able to share at any given moment. I also think it is much more productive to give advice in person, rather than leaving notes. That way, I am able to explain myself in precise, explicit detail. Most people need that. (Not you, of course. I wasn’t saying you couldn’t follow written instructions…)

18

Do you think I look fat?

19

[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman]
BTW, your mom is only human too; so if she fidgeted uncomfortably in the passenger seat when you insisted on taking the offramp to the wrong exit, just let it go. (I’ve a hunch that your question is based on a real incident, right?)
[/QUOTE]
Well, it was based on a real incident in the sense that my mom gave my advice on how to passive-aggressively deal with my husband (at the time)'s way of doing things.
I grew up in a household with aggressive dad and passive-aggressive mom, and my first instinct even now is always to do the passive-aggressive thing, which is why I never ever follow my first instinct.
You’re disappointing me. I’m not sure I agree with your definition of passive-aggressive.
I’ll give you another shot. Hey, passive-aggressive guy, where would you like to eat lunch? Any place at all, you name it. So, where?

20

I have a friend who is like this:

Friend: Let’s go out to lunch.
Me: Great! Where to?
Friend: Oh, I don’t care. Any place is fine.
Me: What about that Chinese place that just opened?
Friend: No, I didn’t hear anything good about it.
Me: Oh. What about Panera?
Friend: Isn’t that too far away? It’s always so crowded at lunch and I have to be back by 2:30.
Me: Wendy’s sounds good.
Friend: It’s too fattening.
Me: They have good salads.
Friend: Yeah, I say I’ll get a salad, but then I break down and get a cheeseburger and fries.
Me: Well, you pick a place
Friend: What about the steakhouse?
Me: You know I’m a vegetarian
Friend: They have fish and chicken.
Me: I don’t eat any flesh food.
Friend: You never want to do what I want to do.

How I get my friend to stop being like this??