Fuck you Warner Brothers, and your Dark Knight too

The BBQ Pit
1

My husband and I see a lot of movies in the theater. Well over 100 a year, which I know is pikerdom to some, but it’s still far more than the average person. Going to see movies in the theater is by far our biggest entertainment expense. Even though we minimise it by using passes, seeing matinees and using discount coupons, Hollywood (as a concept) gets thousands of dollars from us every year.

Warner Brothers, the studio, will get no more of those entertainment dollars. I never before really cared what studio put out what movie. If it was a movie I wanted to see, that’s all I cared about. I might look up the director, or who was in it, or the writer, but not the studio. Now I will look up the studios, specifically so I can avoid paying for Warner Brothers movies.

This is the season of free passes, which is another way to see a lot of movies. I try to keep up on several different ways to get free passes, and when I saw an odd offer the other day I jumped at it. I was told to go to a specific web site, and there it said that if I lived in one of the cities listed, I could print out a pass. The page didn’t say what the pass was for, but the IMAX at Navy Pier in Chicago was one of those listed, so I printed out two passes.

I had an idea what it was, even though the page didn’t say. I had heard that the trailer for the 2nd movie in the new Batman series, The Dark Knight, would premier attached to I Am Legend. I also heard that a longer version, 6 minutes from The Dark Knight, would play in front of the IMAX version of I Am Legend. I saw this link in a thread about The Dark Knight on a movie message board. Naturally, I assumed that the pass was for the longer Dark Knight preview and I Am Legend. If not I Am Legend, then Beowulf, which is what’s playing at the Navy Pier IMAX right now.

The ‘whateveritwas’ wasn’t supposed to start until 7:30, but knowing that it would be very popular, we made sure to arrive early, about 5:30. We live way north, so it takes about an hour and a half to get to Navy Pier via public transportation.

We waited and waited, then finally they started letting everyone into the theater. We waited some more and then the lights went down and we all found out that it was indeed the longer clip of The Dark Knight. It looked good, and Heath Ledger is a great Joker. Far too soon, the 6 minutes was over and everyone clapped. The lights came up and we were all instructed to leave via the doors at the top of the theater.

WHAT THE FUCK???

No I Am Legend? Well, ok. But not even a BEOWULF? Not that I particularly wanted to see a 3D Beowulf (I’d already seen the normal version), but damn! They get people to come out in the cold and snow (yes, it’s snowing again in Chicago), wait in line for hours, just to be shown 6 minutes of footage?? Sure, it was free, but when I have a pass to anything I expect a bit more.

What gets me is that it was all so mysterious, and there was no indication about what to expect. If I’d KNOWN before going that all we’d see are those advance 6 minutes, and nothing else, we wouldn’t have gone. We plan to see I Am Legend anyway so we’d see the trailer, and that 6 minute special is sure to be on the official web site and/or YouTube sometime in the coming weeks. The worst thing is that, since it started at such an odd time, by the time we got out, it messed up timings to see other movies we could have seen. No, worse that that, we could have gone to see a sneak preview of Walk Hard, which looks stupid but I’ve heard is pretty funny, and I wouldn’t turn down a chance to see a Jake Kasdan/John C. Reilley movie, but I did, for this, because I thought, hey, if it IS the Batman thing and I Am Legend, then I definitely want to see them on the big IMAX screen.

So, ok, the sky’s not falling in, no one was injured or killed, and people have lots worse problems. I understand this is a lame thing to rant about, but I can’t help it. The studios have gone too far. As far as I’m concerned, Warner Brothers stole several hours of my time, and I have no way to fight back and no one’s going to care if I complain, so I’m going to do the only thing I can do.

Starting now and for the foreseeable future, I refuse to pay to see any Warner Brothers film. Will I not go to see them? Oh I’ll definitely see them. I’m too much a movie lover to not see them. I’ll be there opening day for The Dark Knight, and others coming sooner, such as I Am Legend, Sweeney Todd, Speed Racer, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and others. But I will not pay for them. I’ll pay for another, non-Warner Brothers movie that I want to support financially, and then duck in to the Warner Brothers film. Since none of the theaters I go to have people stationed at the theater door (unless it’s a big deal special something) there’s no way to stop me. I’ll still be spending the same amount of money, but that money will be going to a different studio/movie. I like to support indie films so the Warner Brothers money will probably go to one of the indies playing that I’ll almost certainly have already seen.

I’m so angry that I don’t even care that I’m probably going to get flamed by some self-righteous types who will accuse me of stealing. Like the studio guy I confronted tonight. I told him of my plan and he said that I was taking money away from the filmmakers. Well, sorry, as far as I’m concerned if the filmmakers hadn’t stolen my time, or at the very least, told me in advance what I was in for so I could decide if I wanted to spend the time, I’d be more open to supporting them in the future. So far the viral and mysterious marketing for The Dark Knight has been pretty good. But this was one boneheaded move.

The only movie I’ll be sorry about not supporting financially is Where The Wild Things Are. I WANT to support that one, but I’ll have to find some other way. Even if my resolve breaks down and I go back to paying for Warner Brothers movies, you can bet 100% of everything you own that I WILL NOT pay for The Dark Knight when it opens July 18, 2008.

Fuck you Warner Brothers, and your fucked up marketing department that came up with this stupid scheme.

2

So you’re setting out to be a common thief. That’s nice. Have fun with that.

3

I will, thanks.

4

Of course you will, trash in the gutter seeks its own level. I suppose you’d like the rest of us to subsidize your popcorn, too?

5

I, too, am appalled.

If you’re going to steal, at least do it impressively.

6

I feel for you, Equipoise, but there’s no goddamn way i would travel for 90 minutes and queue in the cold for 2 hours unless i knew EXACTLY what i was going to get in return. And it would have to be something pretty damn good to warrant that amount of time and trouble.

7

Actually I think your idea is pretty chickenshit over being angry that you didn’t get MORE for free.

You want to punish Warner Brothers for your foolishness, but you’re not willing to give up seeing their movies to do it. This is a way you can pretend you’re sticking it to them, but not have to give up seeing the movies. Wow, you’re right up there with the monks setting themselves on fire to protest the Vietnam War.

PS - You might want to cut back on the caffeine.

8

This whole post is like a big ad for Warner Brothers movies.
Dark Knight looks great!
Sweeney Todd looks great!
Everyone go see Where the Wild Things Are!
You gave us the entire Warner’s lineup and even said nice things about all of them. Are you sure you aren’t an undercover viral poster for Warner Brothers? Because, you sure are doing a good job!
I can see the target audience now:
“Hey, look at this lady overreacting. Geeze, she sure is. But, she is also saying terrific things about Warners movies! Let’s take the gang out to see them.” “Ok, Chip!”

Ahhh, those wiley internet adsmen are always doing new things!

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Fuck giant studios that have done all they can to milk even more money out of the system. Enough people were sheep about going to the movies when ads before them came out that they are here to stay. So I have no recourse if I want to see movies in (some) theaters than to get taken to the cleaners over the price, and have shitty commercials rammed down my throat on top of it. I have absolutely no remorse about stealing from major theaters/theater companies. You want me to have morals? Should have thought of that before you proved you don’t care what the people think as long as they accept it.

10

I see three. Perhaps four.

Anyways, I don’t think you have enough reason to behave this way towards Warner Brothers. What they did kind of sucked, but that’s about all you can say. They don’t deserve to be cheated of money in such an underhanded way because of it.

11

I don’t agree with BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed. I don’t mind paying for movies because it helps get more movies made, and I don’t mind the ads, because that helps the theaters stay in business. So don’t anyone lump us together. I was mad about this specific studio pulling this specific crappy stunt on filmgoers.

I don’t eat popcorn (or any concession items) but thanks for offering!

I have a small imagination. This is the only thing I know to do. They don’t give a shit if I complain.

We weren’t waiting in the cold, we were inside Navy Pier. And I’ve been to other mystery sneaks before, and they’ve always turned out to be some big upcoming movie. They don’t want to publicize it for fear of getting swamped. I saw an unfinished version of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 6 months before it was released because I was given a flyer that said to show up at a particular theater on this date/time, with no mention of what movie it was. But always, when that happens, it’s a full-length movie. This kind of thing has never happened to me before, and it better not ever happen again. I will be more careful and do more research before taking advantage of a mystery pass.

More than six minutes? You bet! If I’d known that it was only going to be 6 minutes, then I could have decided for myself if would be worth the time. Some movies, it might have been, but I didn’t get to decide.

I suppose it is silly, but why should I give up seeing the movies I want to see? I love movies too much. I can’t not see them. I probablly will end up paying for most of them (not The Dark Knight though, that one’s a freebie), but if I do, I will never ever pay full price. Warner Brothers movies will always be matinee or discount Tuesday movies from now on.

laugh I see what you mean. Unfortunately, no, I would never be hired as a shill. I do love movies though, and yes I do want to see those, and will. Btw, I didn’t say The Dark Knight looked great, I said Heath Ledger looks great as the Joker. The footage was fairly mediocre, rather than good, which I did say. Also, I would NOT advise everyone to go see either Sweeney Todd or Where The Wild Things Are. Both could make some people’s heads explode.

I’m calmed down now, and the steam has quit coming out of my ears. I guess I deserve the scorn heaped on me,

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I don’t think you deserve the scorn heaped on you. What they did was seriously underhanded, and I don’t blame you for your reaction.

13

Thanks Mosier.

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More posts like this, please. It’s fun to catch a whiff of the crazy, misplaced anger and moral outrage wafting up from them. It smells like knitted reindeer sweaters and too much free time.

15

lol! “It smells like too much free time” is going to make me chuckle all day. Thanks for that!

16

While, yes, Carol’s posts are a little bit frothy, they probably speak of rather less free time than someone willing to commit 5 hours of their life to a cut-out coupon where they weren’t even told what they were getting. The OP assumed she was getting one thing because of something she read (and frankly, misinterpreted) on the bleeding internet, and is pissed off because she got another. If I hear that a trailer is running attached to some movie, I assume that I’ll see it if I pay to go see that movie. If I get what I think is a free ticket to that trailer, I’d never assume that the movie is stuck on the end. That’s just wishful thinking.

It’s hard to have a great deal of sympathy for someone who conned herself, frankly. Also, you realise that by sneaking in to movies you’re mostly hurting the theater, right? Not to mention the actual paying patrons whose seats you’re taking. If you really want to conduct a boycott, have the basic self-respect to just not go to Warner movies.

Rule of life: if something’s free, don’t assume it’s a pony that pisses beer and craps donuts.

Oh, God, now I want one of those.

17

Much like your OP.

Again, much like your OP, except for the time scale. So I’m going to do the only thing I can do, since you won’t care if I complain. I’m going to buy the entire collection of Warner Bros HD DVD movies. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do anyway, and this is as lousy an excuse as any.

18

So you made some assumptions about what you were going to get to see for free and now you are mad at Warner Brothers because they didn’t live up to what you assumed that they were going to provide.

Okey Dokey.

19

Considering how long the OP claimed to have waited, I don’t think it was an unreasonable assumption that whatever entertainment she had coming would last longer than it takes to smoke a cigarette. The OP also noted that every other time this happened, she got a full movie out of it. Too many replies seem to be ignoring that part, but I think it’s relevant. You can kind of see how a rational person would start to assume things, and, for lack of any real information, base decisions on those assumptions.

Really, the least the theater could have done is told the people what they were in for when they got there so those who would rather not wait didn’t have to.

Hell, I don’t even understand the secrecy in the first place if it’s just a trailer. Was somebody really expecting an entire IMAX theater full of people to show up to see a scant few minutes of footage from yet another fucking Batman movie?

20

Wouldn’t it be more effective to write a letter of complaint to the studio (or whomever was responsible)? That way they’d know you were mad, and why, and something good might come of it (i.e. they’d know not to do such a thing again and/or they might offer you something to try to make up for it).