So I was at McDonald's...

[Silver Fire]

I went through the drive thru and ordered a cheeseburger with NO mustard and a medium strawberry shake. The person there reads the order back to me; a cheeseburger with NO mustard and a medium strawberry shake. Okay. So I pull to the first window to pay. Done. I pull to the second window, get my shake and a small bag, and I leave.

I taste the shake. It's not strawberry. It's raspberry, which is actually okay because A) I didn't even know they had raspberry shakes, and B) It tasted pretty good. I grab my cheeseburger. Right now, I'm about 2 blocks away from the building. I open it, almost positive I'm going to find mustard. Nope, no mustard. But there was no burger either! So I pull onto this little trail thing, turn the car around, and go back. And I go through the drive thru again.

I was just laughing my ass off because I couldn't believe it happened. I pull up to the first window. I handed her the cheeseburger and the following conversation took place:

Me: There's no burger on this.
Her: You said cheeseburger no meat.
Me: No, I said no mustard.
Her: No, you said no meat.
Me: Why the hell am I going to get a cheeseburger with no meat?!
Her: ::look of confusion::
Me: Well?
Her: Pull forward to the next window, please.

So I pull forward to the next window, still laughing my ass off. After about 5 minutes, I get my cheeseburger with NO mustard. What a waste of time. The first thing I thought? This is unbelieveable. No, really. No one's going to believe this. My second thought? I have to post this.

[iampunha]

Reminds me of the commercial where the guy orders two big macs with no onions . . .

I swear, they should have you type your order.

[Persephone]

We had a similar problem last night at Wendy's.

I love Wendy's, but the help at the local ones here is the worst of the worst. I don't understand it. Waiting for the next employee turnover doesn't help, either. They keep hiring bad help. As a result, I haven't eaten at the local Wendy's for over a year, until last night. I decided to give them one more shot.

We checked our bags before we left the drive-thru, and everything seemed to be there (that's the problem we have--they either forget something or put something in that we didn't ask for). We get home, and once again, everything still looks right. We were pleasantly surprised, until my husband took a bite of his burger. He had asked for no mayo, and there was mayo on it.

Sigh. Well, at least we actually got everything this time. They're getting better.

[brachyrhynchos]

Bwwwaaahahaa! "I'd like a cheeseburger without the burger. And an order of onion rings but leave out the onions. And a diet Coke, but make it a coffee."

I'd have liked to have seen that conversation, Silver Fire. You should have asked her how many burgerless burger orders they get a day.

[techchick68]

"Please get me a burger with no hamburger."

"I want french fries but hold the potatoes."

"I want an Egg McMuffin but only the muffin forget the Mc."

"I would like a salad shaker but hold the lettuce."

"A tea with no ice, in fact just forget the drink I want the cup."



LOL Silver that is truly a unique fast food story! I mean I have ordered (at a non-fast food restauarant) a burger without the bun but the bun without the burger??? OY!

[Silver Fire]

ROFL, Brachy!! I have to point out that I did not even know you could get a cheeseburger with no meat. Also, who would actually do that? Anyway, I got an apple pie for free. So it wasn't a complete loss, I suppose.

[techchick68]

I swear, I hadn't seen brachy's post before I posted mine...really!!!!!

< shuffles to the corner now >

[techchick68]

I can't help but giggle even more since their lastest ad campaign is "We love to see you smile." Apparently they gave Silver a damn good giggle.

Truth in advertising I guess!

[Silver Fire]

Originally posted by techchick68
I swear, I hadn't seen brachy's post before I posted mine...really!!!!!

Suuuuuure. Whatever. Anyway, I didn't see your post before I posted, otherwise I would have ROFL at you, too. You people crack me up.

[BiblioCat]

I'm waiting for someone to start a thread in the Pit any minute now......

"So I was at work tonight and some idiot came to my drive-thru and asked for a cheeseburger with no meat...what kind of jerk asks for a cheeseburger with no meat?"

[techchick68]

I can't let this go, this is too funny!!!

I guess she thought you ordered the Grilled McCheese with pickles, onions and ketchup. (blech)

You're on to something!

[Silver Fire]

Kinsey, wouldn't that be something? I'm laughing so hard that my whole family packed into this room, standing behind me all, "What's so funny?" ROFL!!!

::wipes away the tears::

[brachyrhynchos]

Originally posted by techchick68
I guess she thought you ordered the Grilled McCheese with pickles, onions and ketchup. (blech)

They'd probably cook the cheese on the burger then slide it off...yikes!

Or they could really confuse the order and combine the burger-no bun with the bun-no burger and give you an empty McBag.

::snort, Kinsey!::

[Silver Fire]

McBag... Hehehe.

[Guinastasia]

Don't they sometimes make a cheeseburger sans meat for vegetarians?

[2nd Law]

Or they could really confuse the order and combine the burger-no bun with the bun-no burger and give you an empty McBag.

err, would like fries with that?

[Guinastasia]

I sometimes eat sandwhiches with cheese, onions, ketchup and mustard...it has the taste of burger when I need a quick snakc.
I call it the mock-cheeseburger.

[lesa]

I used to work at a burger place and sometimes a vegetarian will order a burger with no meat. The policy was to put two pieces of cheese in place of the meat.

However, the person who served Silver Fire didn't say anything about this. So I think she was not-too-bright, or her brain was numb from working all day at McD's.

[Lexicon]

Or they could really confuse the order and combine the burger-no bun with the bun-no burger and give you an empty McBag.

Wouldn't that get you a McBag with just the condiments in it? Like just a glop of mustard, mayo and ketchup and some onions and pickles?
eeeww.

[Silo]

Heheh, if that happened to me I would have told them to lick my MCbag, *lol*.

Years back I worked at Burger King and people would order these veggie whoppers (whoppers w/out da meat). I thought it was a joke at first, but prolly one out of every thirty whopper orders was for a veggie-whopper. Strange.

I dunno what it is, but a cooked cow guts just taste so good.

[MsRobyn]

Sheesh, if they were smarter, they wouldn't be working at McD's.

My husband has a rabid dislike of condiments and pickles. When he orders a burger, he orders meat, cheese and onions on a bun. That's it. Nothing else.

So one day, I go to McD's to surprise him with lunch. I go in (cuz the drive thru people can never get it right), order a cheeseburger with only cheese and onions. I open the bag to make sure everything's in there, and sure enough, his sandwich feels kinda light. I opened the wrapper and sure enough, there was a sandwich with only cheese and onions. I learned to be a little more specific after that.

Robin

P.S. Don't get me started on the moronicness of fast food customers.

Robin

[GraceTX]

My ex-roommate worked for great hamburger joint. There was a regular customer who would come in and order a hamburger on wheat bread with no meat. Carla, my roommate, would call out the order as a "hamburger on wheat, no meat!"

If you're ever in Austin, Texas, stop by Dan's Hamburgers on S. Congress. Delicious burgers.

[Zenster]

I'll have a medium orange coca cola, and a large small fries.

At Mc Donald's ask for a Whopper.

All this and more ways to get back at brain dead drive thru help.

Go to this site.

[Silver Fire]

Wow. Zenster, you're like my hero. Or something.

[obfusciatrist]

Silver Fire, I was at a Jack in the Box once during a long road trip and the guy in front of actually order a burger hold the burger.

Wanted a Sourdough Jack or something and wanted everything left off except the cheese, extra cheese.

The counterperson was very confused but the guy was eventually able to explain that he just wanted a grilled cheese sandwich. Paid for a Sourdough Jack, though.

[techchick68]

At Mc Donald's ask for a Whopper.

I actually did that once. I am not kidding. For the life of me I couldn't see the problem with it until the girl said, "maam, you are at McDonalds".

I felt like an idiot but I am sure they got a kick out of it.

[Doug Bowe]

Let's see if this link works. If it does take you to the "secret words" for In and Out Burger note what happens when you order (even if it ain't on the menu):
Grilled Cheese, Veggie Burger and On The Sal.


http://www.topsecretrecipes.com/sleuth/sleuth2a.htm

[dpr]

I once ordered a burger with just lettuce and cheese and they left the meat out too. And couldn't understand why I was laughing about it.

"You asked for lettuce and cheese"

"Yes, but I also said burger. I didn't ask for a salad roll."

"You said just lettuce and cheese."

"Well I'm sorry but can I have my meat please."

"Um.... okay."

[Danalan]

I swear, they should have you type your order.

Yeah, right! The staff isn't even expected to be able to read -- they have to have pictures of the items on the cash registers. McDonalds wouldn't even consider that their customers could type. And they're probably right.

[dpr]

Aaah, it'll teach us not have fries with that..

[BooBoo316]

I love my wife. I really do. However, I would rather have my eyes poked out than go through a drive through with her. She is what is referred to as "a picky eater". No onion, no pickle, extra mayo (apparently this combo is next to impossible to accomplish correctly). I can't count the times we sat in line while she argued with some high school kid over a bad speaker and mike about her order. God help them if they screw it up. Hell hath no fury like a woman with onions on her Whopper!

Michael

[Crunchy Frog]

In high school my friend Tim worked at the McDonald's near my house. I found ordering like this really fucked with them in the drive through:

"I'll Mac a Big have, a fries order of large, Coke-ium meda-Cola, app two-ple pies, and a cookie of McBoxland Donald's."

I'd do that and if they asked to to repeat myself, I would (speaking normally) cuz I knew it wasn't a friend working the window. If I ordered like that and heard the voice say, "Ron, pull your dumb ass to the window." I near it was Tim or Brandi (another friend) working the drive-through that night.

[MadHatter]

Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?

[Nacho4Sara]

LOL, Silver Fire, that is hilarious! I probably would have just kept on driving, though, I hate confronting people about stuff like that.

When I worked at Kenny Roger's Roasters, a woman once ordered the Cajun Grilled Chicken with no meat. I said, "You just want the bread?" And she asked if I would let the cajun chicken spices soak in the bread first. She just wanted the flavor. I thought she was batty.

Hijack:

Every damn time I am in Taco Bell, I have issues. Can I jusy have a Nacho Cheese Chalupa with nothing else on it? That's all, just nacho cheese and meat. If I wanted a fucking salad bar I would be somewhere else. When I am at Taco Bell, I don't want to pick hard nasty lettuce rhines (sp?) out of my chalupa, ok?

I hate that. And I really don't think cold juicy tomato bits mix well with taco meat. I like it all seperately, but I don't like it together!

[Weirddave]

Nacho, you're nuts! My biggest beef with Taco Bell is that they charge extra for tomatos! I mean, how can you have a taco w/o tomatos? Why should I have to pay$.25 extra for something that should have been there in the first place???!!!

[lolagranola]

I dunno. I used to work as a waitress, and people would order the strangest things. After a while, nothing surprised me. So, it's not a surprise that they would leave out the meat. Chances are people order that all the time, as several others have mentioned.

But seriously, people really do order the strangest things. Cremated bacon (her words - totally burned to a pile of powder), tea - hold the teabag, greek salad with everything "held" except one or two ingrediants, steak that either hasn't touched the grill or has been burned to a crisp. The mind boggles.

[spedmonk]

One time I was in Burger King with a friend, and this woman comes through the drive-thru and orders a cheeseburger with no meat, thats it. The guy taking the order was like alright, that'll be 75 cents (or whatever a cheeseburger costs) and the lady just went crazy! She spent probably ten minutes screaming at this poor kid over the speaker about why in the hell should she have to pay full price for the cheeseburger when she wasn't getting any meat on it? The entire restaurant could hear. Someone went and got the manager and he backed the kid up. When the lady finally pulled up to the window, she just kinda threw the money at him, snatched her bag, and tore ass out of the parking lot. Afterwards, it got really, really quiet and all of the kids behind the counter just stood there in wonder. It was hilarious!

Katie

[Shadowfox]

I worked at Burger King for about six weeks a long time ago. They had a "Vegetarian Whopper" on the menu, which was basically a Whopper without the meat. This lady comes in and orders one of these things, except she wants it without lettuce, tomato, onions and mayonnaise. I'm thinking to myself "you want two hamburger buns with just ketchup and mustard on it?". Well, I gave her what she wanted and she seemed perfectly happy with it. If she didn't want a hamburger, why did she come to a hamburger place?

Another time, I'm running the drive-thru and these teenage kids pulled up and ordered chili dogs, then spent the next several minutes arguing with me about it after I explained to them that if they wanted chili dogs, maybe they should try the Coney Island restaurant that was right next door.

[Guinastasia]

Good lord, you should check out some of Raistla's stories on Customerssuck.com

[Shirley Ujest]

Silver, actually there are people in this world who go to fast food restaurants and order meatless cheeseburgers. A friend of mine who managed an Arby's or Hardee's ( I get them confused) told me it was a fairly common request. They are usually vegetarians.

Sidenote, I just noticed the McDonald's sign stating Over 99 billion served

Along the lines of the great article that Cecil covered a long time ago, it makes you wonder how many cows have gone to the big pasture in the sky because of that franchise alone. ( not that I'm a vegetarian.)

[Tamex]

LOL! That's pretty funny. This is a WAG, but perhaps cheeseburgers without meat have been ordered for picky-eater children before--those children who'd rather have a cheese sandwich, I guess.

As for the "vegetarian Whoppers", why don't these people go to Subway and order a "Veggie Delight" sandwich? Then at least you are not paying for meat you are not eating.

[Bear_Nenno]

... and I said 'no salt' NO SALT on the margarita! I will take my money to a competing resort...

Couldn't help thinking of this guy while reading your OP. I love Office Space.

Why don't you try ordering a coke with no cup... see how they handle that one.

[Silver Fire]

Okay, so people order cheeseburgers with no meat. I got that now. Thanks. But she still confused "no mustard" with "no meat" (I don't even know how) and she did read the order back to me as no mustard. But the receipt said no meat. And I still find the whole thing really, really funny. Stupid people. Mustard. Meat. I don't understand the confusion between the two. Oh well.

Coke with no cup... Hehehe. (I am going to try some of these someday.)

[ladybug]

I'm a picky eater and I don't like a lot of extra stuff on burgers, so when I go to Checkers I order a burger without the lettuce, tomato, mayo, etc. After getting the wrong order many, many times, I finally came up with a method that seems to work: I tell the person that I want a burger with just cheese, pickles and ketchup.

After reading this thread I'm thinking that I should also mention that I want meat. And a bun.

[xizor]

Originally posted by Zenster
I'll have a medium orange coca cola, and a large small fries.

At Mc Donald's ask for a Whopper.

All this and more ways to get back at brain dead drive thru help.

Caution - doing this stuff is a good way to get "a little something special" in your food.

[FarrisGoldstein]

A few weeks ago, a friend and I were on a road trip. We stopped at Arby's, and the guy taking our order was kinda slow, so my friend got a little miffed at him... Well, I was kinda scared, so we raced to the pick-up window so we could make sure we got no "special sauce in our food."

Thinking quickly, I decided to be the good guy to contrast his mean guy attitude - I whipped out my accordion which I happened to have in the back seat (it's a big mofo too, but bodily fluid free food is worth the trouble) and sang a sweet little impromptu ballad entitled "Please don't spit on my Giant Roast Beef Sandwich."

[Silver Fire]

Originally posted by xizor
Caution - doing this stuff is a good way to get "a little something special" in your food.

Well, yeah. Isn't that obvious? Anyway, it'd be entertaining. Not like I'd actually eat the food. I just realized I have quite a few funny McDonalds stories. There was that one time we drove through the drive thru in reverse... Don't ask, but I will tell you we got kicked out. Seriously, they were going to call the cops. Don't do that.

[wolfman]

One time at Subway my friend ordered a steak'n'cheese sub. The 'sandwich artist' asked him if he wanted cheese,(out of habit, I guess) and my friend said no. It seemed kind of surreal at the time, since nobody else noticed anthing strange.

[little*bit]

Originally posted by Silver Fire
There was that one time we drove through the drive thru in reverse... Don't ask, but I will tell you we got kicked out. Seriously, they were going to call the cops. Don't do that.

I swear, if I didn't know better I would swear you were my older brother.

[Silver Fire]

Originally posted by little*bit
I swear, if I didn't know better I would swear you were my older brother.

How do you know better?

I love fast food places. They're so much fun. Like that time Dairy Queen forgot to put bacon on my sister's Bacon Cheeseburger, and she was too afraid to say anything. (We didn't notice until we got home and she'd already eaten part of it.) So I called the manager and told him we wanted a new one, we'd be down in 5 minutes to pick it up. He said okay but we had to bring the other one with us. So we did.

A few minutes after we got there, we got the partially eaten, now very cold, burger back with bacon on it. (Folks, do not come to fast food places with me. Really, it's embarrassing. Just don't come anywhere in public with me. Hehehe.) Me (not very quietly because it was pretty loud in there): "What, in the name of Christ, is this?!" The manager (actually, Shift Manager, who was probably still in high school): "It's a Bacon Cheeseburger." Me: "Let me tell you how this works..." After a decade of arguing with this kid, we got a new Bacon Cheeseburger, which I (quite obviously) inspected. After a polite "Thanks for wasting half of my god damn day" and such, we left.