Hamburger with no cheese (very mild)

The BBQ Pit
1

A “trend” I’ve noticed lately consists of fast food workers asking, after you order a hamburger, if you would like cheese on it.

Um, No. If I’d have wanted cheese, I’d have ordered a cheeseburger. A HAMburger has no cheese, hence the two different names.

I was out exploring (trying to learn the confusing melee that is highway, farm road, state and city roads here in the lower 48, and we stopped by a Dairy Queen.

My mom ordered a hamburger, the young lady asked if she wanted cheese. Mom said “no, thank you”, we completed the rest of the order and the girl read it back “okay that’s a milkshake, a hamburger with no cheese…” (at which point, I couldn’t restrain myself and I giggled “yes, that would be the HAMBURGER part of a hamburger, as opposed to a CHEESEburger”.)

I don’t get it. Has a hamburger recently taken on a generic meaning?

And another thing, what IS it with the putting shredded lettuce (that falls off all over the place) on a sandwich, and putting HUGE pieces of lettuce in a salad?

Why NOT the other way around? It would make much better sense.

Anyone else want to add their fast food rants???

2

Thank God! I thought I was the only one!

This happened to me ALL THE TIME in college! Of course, this may have been caused by the fact that the cafeteria workers’ primary language was Spanish, so they didn’t realize the difference between “hamburger” and “cheeseburger,” but still!

I think much of the fault lies with lazy SOBs who say “hamburger” when they mean “cheeseburger,” then whined when their burger had no cheese. And note how the fast food places make cheese the default, as in the Quarter Pounder WITH CHEESE and the existence of cheeseburger specials, but no equivalent hamburger specials.

Bah. If I wanted a CHEESEburger, I’d go to a burger restaurant where they’d put on a cheese OTHER than an oily American substitute psuedo-cheese!

3

I do.

Tonight, my girlfriend and I were contemplating going out. I, however, reasoned that EVERYONE would be going out, so we should order a pizza and stay in and watch the TiVo (featuring Spongebob Squarepants and “It’s Valetine’s Day, Johnny Bravo”). We went to Papa John’s website–they USED to have online ordering, so that you could pay with a credit card. We’re modern kids. We don’t use this…green paper…you grownups use. All we want here is a money-for-pizza-and-breadsticks exchange.

Anyway, we go through all the trouble of ordering our pizza and breadsticks and I go to pay and notice that the only options are cash and something called a “Papa Card.” This is apparently just like a gift certificate, except I’d have to buy one, wait to get the number, then use it to pay. Uh, no.

We decide we’ll give Domino’s a call, since they don’t have online ordering. So my girlfriend rings them up and, after Pizza Boy attempts to hit on her, he is baffled by her simple query, “What specials are you running today?” Now, back in my day–every previous time I’d called Domino’s–they had three or four specials running, but he stuttered and stammered. “Just hang up,” says I. “If these morons can’t handle a simple money-for-pizza exchange, we’ll go elsewhere.”

So we call Papa John’s and their phone system is so noisy we can’t make them out.

Finally, we decide to try Pizza Hut. We’re not overly fond of Pizza Hut, but it’ll do, especially since there’s online ordering–with the specials right up front–and it takes credit cards. And, hopefully, the pizza will be here soon.

So…

What is the FUCKING PROBLEM with these places? Pizza delivery’s been a major business since I was a KID! Is it so difficult to know any specials you’re running, have a clear phone system, and tell your clerks not to mack on the ladies? I know pizza’s mainly a cash business, but is taking credit/debit cards such a new thing that only one place out of three takes em? Or has a website that’s actually useful? Christ!

And now the Dope is doing its “Cannot find server”-Database Error-“Oh, everything’s just fine!” shit…

4

All the pizza places take credit cards here, just like every other restaurant and fast food joint. Costco is the only store I can think of that won’t take Visa.

5

CanvasShoes, I remember reading this in another thread: Essentially, the logic goes like this:

  1. You might change your mind and say you want cheese after all, thus increasing their revenues.
  2. You might have meant to say ‘cheeseburger’ but said ‘hamburger’ instead for whatever reason.
    There are probably other causes, but I can’t say that it bothers me all that much. I’m glad to see that you don’t mind that much either. After all, the thread *does * say ‘very mild rant’ or something like that.
6

Not fast food, but I noticed FAT-FREE orange juice at the grocery store today.

7

BIG pet peeve of mine too.

At the fast food place nearest my house it’s almost impossible to get a hamburger without cheese. I now always just say “I would like a hamburger without cheese”. Often the person taking the order will say, “a hamburger doesn’t come with cheese”, to which I say, “It does here.” If I just say hamburger 90% of the time it has cheese on it. If I say “no cheese” it comes with cheese only 50% of the time.

8

Some of you have NO sympathy for us poor folk who’ve had to work fast food for extended periods of time. :frowning:

You’re on the SDMB, so chances are good you’re not a total moron. Not so for Mrs. Soccermom with her 30 kids yelling and screaming who blurts out an order, and only realizes she had no idea what she was ordering when she doesn’t like the price. Or how many people order a hamburger and mean cheeseburger. For you it’s an additional 2 seconds of your time, for me confirming a hamburger meant no cheese (to you!) meant I saved five minutes and tons of frustration when dumb woman who doesn’t pay attention to what she’s ordering complains when she gets what she ordered.

We’re not psychic, we can’t tell if you’re an idiot until you blame us for your mistake.

Fast food is hell.

9

Hey, there was a supermarket flyer advertising “0 carb ham!” in the paper here last week. As opposed to those other meats that are just loaded with starches, I assume.

10

You would think so but having worked a number of hamburger jobs in my wasted youth I have to say that you can never assume that the customer knows the diffrerence. If you don’t confirm that they don’t want cheese it is a natural law of the universe that they will come back and complain about not getting cheese. A lot of people think that cheese is the default and no cheese is some sort of special order. Maybe you know the diffrence but there are enough idiots that FF workers actually do have to ask extra questions to confirm that the customer actually understands what he/she has just ordered.

11

You’re right, conczepts. I’ve been there. The customer is always right, but never assume they know your product line better than you do. Two sentences of confirmation now for everyone will mean fewer mistakes and re-dos and faster and (one hopes) faster service.

These days I order a Hamburger Without Cheese and an Iced Tea Without Lemon because I’m trying to jump the gun on the inevitable offer to upgrade. Or I will order the Burger Without The Combo, Just The Burger, I Don’t Want The Fries. Unfortunately, this last seems to confuse them: “You said a burger combo with a SPRITE?”

12

Damn! I picked 4 in my own personal little betting pool of how many replies it would take before somebody made reference to the old SNL “Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, no hamburger, cheeseburger” skit, but here it is with 11 replies and nothing yet…

“I’m sorry, sir. We’re all out of cheese. You’ll have to have your hamburger without lettuce.”

13

And I saw a lowfat buttermilk at our local grocery store.

14

There are sugar cured hams and other seasoned meats that have carbs.

15

And I am SO tired of sugar/honey baked hams and turkeys. I think that meat should be savory, it shouldn’t fall into the dessert category. Meat has some natural sweetness, depending on the animal, but that shouldn’t be the primary taste.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sweet stuff, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

16

No Coke, Pepsi!

There, feel better? :wink:

17

OK, now I’m afraid. Lynn Bodoni is reading my mind. If I’m suddenly banned, that will account for it.:wink: No, I don’t want sugar-cured or honey baked ham. Ham should be savory and smokey, and I’m going to leave turkey out of this completely. As for sweets, save them for, well, the sweet course (desert for the Americans on board), and, while honey’s all right, I’d prefer chocolate!

CJ

18

I don’t mind the under-siege fast-food order taker asking me an extra question to confirm my order, make sure all parties understand what is desired, etc.

What pisses me off is when I say NO CHEESE, the order-taker understands it, the little order-computer gets it right, the paper on the wrapped lump I am given indicates “no cheese”… and there is STILL cheese inside?

C’mon, folks, this isn’t rocket science!!!

One time, the dumb bitch assembling burgers first protested that I had, in fact ordered cheese (this was immediately countered by three of her co-workers and the manager, who knew I was a regular who invariably order the exact same thing every time I showed up) then declared that she had never heard of a normal person eating a burger without cheese, that was just crazy, what was I, some sort of freak [very rude word for Jewish person].

Oddly enough, I never saw her working there again…

I actually patronized that fast food shop for many years, but recently had to stop because the assembly people just don’t give a damn about getting it right any more, and the new manager doesn’t give a fuck either. >sigh< And they wonder why they’re losing customers…

19

It’s not as if what they put on fast food burgers is real cheese anyway, just some crap american or fake swiss or what have you. Yuck! Now I’m kind of hungry for a hamburger from reading all of this, but if I get one it won’t be at McDs, BK, Wendys or any of the usual suspects.

20

Iced tea without lemon – good luck. I get it half the time anyway. And it’s not like you can just remove it; the flavor’s still there. And, if you’re in the car, what do you do with it?

Getting real iced tea, period: Most places have switched to that bottled junk. Ick.

Burgers assembled in the wrong order! It’s supposed to be bottom bun, mayo or whatever, burger, cheese, onion, tomato, lettuce, mayo, top bun! Quit putting the vegetables on the bottom! And, no, I can’t just eat it upside down and be happy. Not only is it hard to swallow when I’m standing on my head… but the cheese is then on the wrong side of the burger, and the top bun is flat instead of curved.

Sigh.