My wife has cursed me with a “bad joke of the day” calendar;
and boy are they bad!
I don’t get today’s joke… Help me. Here it is:
At the zoo
**Blanche: ** Mr. Zookepeer, is that hippopotamus a male or a female?
Zookeeper: What do you care, lady?
That’s it. what the hell is a joke about that… even a bad joke?
Presumably only another hippopotamus really needs to know.
The only thing I can think is, as long as the hippos know the difference, what does it matter to us? (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)
My guess is a typo or a missing line.
Bwhaaahhaahaaaa!
Best
Response
Ever!
I uh… actually L’d OL on that on that one. (seems like that should be LOL’d)
What did the penguin say as it slid down the slide?
Vroom, vroom, radio!
ETA: Maybe the zookeeper is presuming the lady wants to do the hippo!?! :eek:
That is a classic but it is slightly different than the one we used to tell.
Three penguins are sitting on an ice floe. One says “Watch this”. He suddenly jumps into the water and then dives out of the water yelling “Radio, Radio!”.
We would all tell that one in high school and there would always be a dumbass or two that didn’t get it that we would tease. Some jokes are just lost on some people.
Is this one of those you’re not suppose to get just to see who laughs? We had one of those: A man goes fishing, he casts his line, and all of sudden a fish jumps out of the water and yells “Social Security!”
We told:
Three penguins were sitting on an ice flow. The first one jumps off and shouts, “I’m a penguin!” The second one jumps off and shouts, “I’m a penguin!” Then the third one jumps off and shouts, “I’m a typewriter!” Then they all go out and have ice cream.
I like the other penguin and ice cream joke much better.
Okay, laugh at me, and then explain… I’m not getting any of the penguin jokes.
It is a nonsense joke that you get other people in on. You target a person (or persons) who is a know it all or never admits any weakness. You wait for the proper moment and build up to the joke with the necessary theatrics. You tell it and the people that are in on it with you bust a fake gut laughing hysterically. One of two things happen here. The people that aren’t in on it laugh along and say that they get it or they admit that they don’t and you never tell them the point of it.
Penguins.
Why did it have to be Penguins.
(Where’s Garrison Keillor when you need him?)
I prefer the one where two people (though I suppose they could be penguins) are sitting in the bath tub, and one asks the other for the bar of soap, and the other says, “No soap, radio.” I’m not sure why “radio” figures in so heavily.
Because you have got a prayer with nuns swimming in the Antarctic.
A red brick!
A penguin is driving through Arizona when he starts having problems with his air conditioner. He really can’t handle the heat so he stops to have it fixed. Luckily, there’s a Baskin-Robbins nearby so he waddles over and indulges. But of course it’s difficult to eat ice cream with flippers so he makes a real mess, getting it all over himself.
When he goes back to check on the car, the mechanic says, “Looks like you blew a seal.”
“Oh no,” he replies, “I was just having some ice cream.”
Ok, here is a couple that I just made up in the name of good jokes,. They are bound to be a winner but all I ask is that you give me proper credits if used on stage or any mass media.
(My Original Joke #1)
A woman walks into the best, brightest, and most exclusive pet store in the area flush with cash.
Lady to clerk: Dear Sir, do you have any Humpback Whales in stock?
Clerk: We have Blue Whales, Orcas, and olphins in stock but we do not know if we have any Humpback whales.
Lady: Why not?
Clerk: We don’t inquire about their fetishes and we have always been too scared to get in the tank to find out.
:rimshot: Takes a bow.
(My Original Funny Joke #2)
Cowboy #1 Laying Down In Pain: Do you know why they call it Brokeback Mountain?
Cowboy #2: That’s exactly what happens when you let one of those queer cowboys rope you and ride you like a bronco.
Cue extended laughtrack.
I thank you.
Okay, it it a text only joke, or a cartoon?
If it’s a cartoon, maybe there’s some important detail that you’re not seeing, and haven’t told us. It would helpif you could post the drawing.
If it’s text only, are you certain you’ve quoted it exactly?