The Stupid Joke Thread

We all know stupid jokes that are so bad, they’re actually good. What are your faves?

Here, I’ll start: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling! :D:D:D:D:D

What’s the one thing you can say that will anger any old lady?


An atom goes into a bar. He says to his friend, “I don’t feel very good. I think I lost an electron.” His friend says, “Are you sure?” First atom says, “Man, I’m positive.”

My three favorites, told in this order:

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

What’s a foot long and slippery?

A slipper.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back when you throw it?

A stick

And, of course, have you heard the joke about the three holes in the ground?


Well, well, well.

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

I love it!

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

Why are there only 24 letters in the alphabet, now?

L&M got kicked out for smoking.

When’s the best time for a Dentist appointment?


Why does Irish bean stew have, at most, 239 beans?

One more would make it too farty (240).

And where does the tooth fairy live?


A potato and a stalk of celery are in a refrigerator. The potato says, “Man, it sure is cold in here.” The celery says, “HOLY CRAP! A TALKING POTATO!”

One of my all-time favorite stupid jokes, from when I was a kid:

What’s the difference between an elephant and an aspirin?

An aspirin is white.

This was my daughter’s favorite when she was 5:

What’s the best way to catch a fish?

Have it thrown to you!

How do you fit five elephants in a pink mini-minor

Two in the front, two in the back, one on the roof-rack

I believe this has shown up in every single joke thread on the Dope - probably in every joke thread in the universe!

The Thunder God went for a ride
Upon his favorite filly.
“I’M THOR!” he cried.
The horse replied,
“You forgot your thaddle, thilly.”

Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?

It had agyrophobia.

How do you say “three Kitty’s drowned” in French?

Un Deux Trois Cat Sank

What red on the outside, white on the inside, and goes “putt putt putt.”

An outboard radish.