What’s the best way to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
My favorite joke in the world:
What to vegetarian zombies eat?
Grrrraaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnns!
Gravity, I thought for sure it would be Cauliflour!
Did you hear about the blonde so dumb she couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel?
Warning: sick joke ahead:What did the deaf and dumb kid get for christmas?
Cancer.
What kind of coffee do you drink on a train?
Express-o
What’s red, white and blue and has all the letters in it?
A mailbox
Why are bicycles slower than cars?
They’re always two tired
Ah, third grade, I miss it so! 
::skips away with her pigtails streaming::
What’s black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white, red?
A pinguin
A classic:
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.
What do you call an Italian with a Rubber Toe?
Roberto
what’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
well, most people can roast beef…
Whats big, yellow and eats rocks?
A big, yellow rock eater
What’s the similarity between a rusty shotgun and a constipated owl?
The rusty shotgun can shoot, but it can’t hit.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?If it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
What’s black, highly lethal, and lives in a tree?A crow with a submachinegun.
What’s long, brown, and sticky?A Stick!
Why did the mouse cross the road?It was stapled to the chicken.
This falls more into the “wrong” category than the “dumb” category. Consider yourself warned.
What’s 12 inches long, has a purple head, and makes women scream?Crib death.
[spoiler]How do you stop a baby crying?
A. Put it in a blender
A. Put it in the microwave
A. Put it in the freezer[/spoiler]