Ask the guy who's about to radically alter his appearance (long intro)

In My Humble Opinion
1

request: A lot of my insecurities are going to shine through clearly in this thread. This is as much for my development as it is for your curiosity, so I would ask anyone who disapproves of my mentality to remember that no one is perfect, and to be inquiring without being condescending (Why Not has always been wonderful at this. Thanks.)

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Teenagers go through phases where they try out different personalities and see what sticks. One year they might be an athlete, the next they might be goth, but the end result is that they take what they can identify best with and eventually stick with it. But through it all, they’ll say they’re “individuals” and are just expressing themselves, or trying to “find themselves.”

I never did that. I think it always came down to a fear of being judged. A lot of my childhood was restricted because I was very aware of how condescending adults could be (‘is that your little girlfriend?’ said with a knowing wink to the other adults) and I tried my best to avoid situations like that.

Now I’m an adult (well, sort of. 21) and I’m largely over that–mostly because I’ve forced myself to do things I’m not comfortable with–and the last several years, I’ve been trying on personalities and identities the way teenagers unconsciously do. The only difference is that now that I’m 21 instead of thirteen, this identity shaping is an effortful process.

I’m consciously shaping who I want to be. I’m a lot closer than I was five years ago, but there’s a lot more exploring that I want to do. So, I’m changing my appearance. I posted this thread, expressing my worry at going bald and what I should do about it. Advice covered the entire spectrum from “take medication” to “get over it”, and the last few months, I’ve been weighing my options and have come to a conclusion:

Off with the hair. It’s gone, tomorrow afternoon. I don’t want to spend my life dependent on medication, worrying about how I might look one day, so I’m cutting out the middle man and beating genes to the punch. I’ve never not had a big ol’ mess of hair. It’s one of those things people mention about me if they’re describing me to someone they don’t know.

I figured while I’m at it, I might as well change a few other things, too. So I’m getting an eyebrow ring, too. And a frenum piercing (if you don’t know what that is, don’t google it at work!). I went out and bought some new clothes yesterday. Polos–I’ve never worn a polo shirt. I made fun of people who did in high school for being generic, and now I’m going to start wearing a couple every now and then, because I like how I look in them.

So, sum of changes tomorrow: new wardrobe, completely new hairstyle, and two new piercings, all on the same day. The goal is maximum contrast.

So, shoot. Ask away.

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Do you work? If so, have you talked to your HR department about your piercings?

I ask because in some lines of work it’s unacceptable.

Also, does your family know what’s about to happen to your appearance?

3

My only question would be why, for the love of Og, an eyebrow ring? What’s wrong with a nice nose stud or chin stud or lip ring or something? This is, I will have to admit, due to my personal extreme prejudice against eyebrow rings. Hate 'em - always have, always will.

You’re very nice looking. If you end up not liking the full-bald, a very short buzz could work for you. Plus they feel really neat, kinda like plush toys. Which creates an added bonus, because girls like to rub them.

Applause for the decision to take charge and make changes. Very brave!

4

Yeah, I vote “no” on the eyebrow ring, but I guess the whole point is that you don’t care what I think, right? :slight_smile:

I do think the shaved or very short look will be good on you, though.

5

Losing the hair is fine, but I hate, hate, HATE facial piercings.

If you want one, that’s fine, but I just think they’re nasty.

6

Agree with all of this. Also, JMHO, eyebrow piercing, not so attractive. Frenum piercing…well, not many people are going to see that, I would think, if I recall what that is correctly… :dubious:

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Just to provide a voice of dissent, not that you should care what any of US have to say on this topic, I think eyebrow piercings look cool.

Also, I think the shaved-head look is going to look really good on you.

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I too think most facial piercings (and tattoos around the face/neck) are gross. Eyebrow rings are my least favorite and, IMO, look good on nobody.

Oh well. Enjoy!

Why did you choose the piercings? Why not a tattoo or something?

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Goodness, you’re rather attractive. :wink:

I say go for the buzz cut! And whatever facial piercings work for you. Don’t forget to post pics afterwards.

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Woo-hoo! Go for it!

Everything you posted, (even the polos :wink: ), is reversible. Hair grows, piercings close. As such, I think it’s a great idea to mix it up and try on a new shell.* I’ve recently been doing much the same thing - over the last six months or so, I cut and highlighted my long hippie chick hair into a style I see on starlets a lot, I started getting manicures, got my helix peirced, started wearing tight jeans (well, sorta tight, I’m still pretty fat, so I’m trying not to gross anyone out with a muffin top or anything) and heeled boots. And last week I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time, and learned how to shape and fill them in with makeup the right way so it doesn’t look like my Aunt Edna’s scary brows. I’ve transformed from hippie chick to urbane young woman. Is it a costume? Absolutely! But so was “hippie chick”. I’m the me in here, not the me out here, and at the moment, I’m having fun with the me out there and makeup and girly stuff.

Will you love it? Will you hate it? Will you love it for two weeks and then hate it? Who knows? As long as you’re not blowing the last of the rent money, who cares? But post us pics, 'kay?

(I love eyebrow piercings, anyway!)

Hmm…this is an “ask the…” thread, so I need to ask you something, don’t I? Okay…how’s it going with the blonde girl? :smiley:

*When I was a teenager, my therapist asked that dorky, “If you could be any animal…” question, and I said “a hermit crab” which earned a panicked whispered conference with my mother about my anti-social behavior, when what I actually meant was that I loved the idea of being able to reinvent my exterior whenever I liked.

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You’ve probably already decided to shave it off, but judging from your pictures in the linked thread I’d say you are a long, long way away from needing to shave it all off.
Go try bald for a while it if you like, but in this girls opinion it would be a shame to just write off the good head of hair you have.

Hey WhyNot! Can you show us some “after” pictures of the new you? Your new look sounds cool.

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I suggest a buzzcut rather than bald. And I’d definitely advise against the eyebrow piercing.

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Congrats. I wish I was daring (or creative) enough to reinvent myself once in a while. All your planned changes sound cool, and reversable, if you decide it’s not what you want long term.

What made you pick shaved head, eyebrow piercing and polo shirts? My mental sets of polo shirt wearers doesn’t come close to overlapping with the sets of shaved head or eyebrow piercing (although those 2 do overlap quite a bit.) Are you trying to mix and match, or is t just that these are the 3 changes that appealed right now?

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I’d go with an all over buzz cut too. Try a #2, if it is still too long then a #1. It will let you have a little left if you decide to grow in some sideburns or jawline beard.

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GOOD ON YA DUDE!!

My question is…why the frenulum piercing? I know several guys who have them and they all have given me interesting answers.

Tatts next?

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Just some advice on the eyebrow ring. Be careful with it. They take forever to heal and are subject to infection while they are. I took care of mine while I had it, but every once in awhile I’d forget to be careful while putting my motorcycle helmet on or or taking it off. The ring would get snagged and I was back to day one with the healing. I finally just gave up and took it out.

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I’d prefer a shaved head to actual baldness, but I prefer what you’ve got to a shaved head. And you’re not bald, or even noticeably balding, at least as far as I can tell. (I know the difference because my brother, who is two years younger than me, has a hairline receding faster than Napoleon in January.) But I also like eyebrow pierces and I think it’ll look cute on you.

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Going bald? Maybe not so much, judging from the pictures linked in the other thread. Mr. S had a thin spot about like yours when I met him. He was 32 then; he’s 52 now and it hasn’t changed noticeably. None of his (much older) brothers are bald, and neither are very many of his uncles. What do your family genetics say?

As for reinventing yourself, that’s great, though I have to agree that the piercings may be a bit much. During the summer after my freshman year of college, I chopped off my had-always-been-shoulder-length hair to a buzz cut, traded my Coke-bottle glasses for contacts, and started wearing large crazy earrings (well, it WAS the 80s). In the fall, people didn’t recognize me. It was quite a sea change for me and kind of a turning point in my self-expression. I have the long hair and the glasses back now (though they’re today’s stylish metal frames instead of those giant plastic things), but I still do the crazy earrings (in fact, I still have a lot of the same pairs form back then, and I still wear them!)

(And yeah, polo shirts? One of these things is not like the others . . . )

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Just wanted to chime in with the others and agree that you’re quite attractive. :smiley:

I have to commend you for knowing when you’re going bald and what to do about it (if that’s even the case, I have to agree that it doesn’t look too bad yet!). I’ve seen so many guys who are still in the denial stage; walking around with long hair around the sides but a giant bald spot in the middle, just seems…off. Bald heads are a hundred times more attractive in comparison.

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Forumbot - from one blondy to another, try something less drastic first. My hair is not thinning, my hair looks just like Robert Redfords here . It’s not thinning and mine is a little more blond.

At 21 if you are looking for something drastic I’ll offer this advice that, as someone 15 years your senior, has found to be true: Slow change is permanent change.

You’ll see.
As for the piercings, I dunno, I only ever had my ear pierced and that went out in the 80’s.