Commit Cultural Heresy: No Cow Too Sacred.

Time to commit some some no-holds-barred cultural heresy and slaughter some sacred cows. Which revered cultural icons do you hold heretical opinions on? No cow too sacred, folks, and no right of reply.*

Time to commit my own cultural heresy: I cannot abide Doctor Seuss. He was a hack with a gimmick, a third-rate illustrator who beat quirky to death to disguise his limitations, and whose writing was even worse than his drawing, since it’s even easier to rhyme sing-song doggerel if you make up your own idiotic words. The second most over-rated children’s writer ever.

Ooh, that felt good.

*Lest this get over-heated, let’s remember that these are only opinions and not personal attacks: if someone slices a hunk off your sacred cow and grills it up with onions, don’t take it to heart.

Neil Young. Screechy, whiny voice. Guitar that never seems to be in tune. I get the vibe that he thinks he’s all hip and relevant, but to my mind he’s like a beloved dog that nobody seems to want to put down.

I don’t like onions, can I get some Mayo with this instead? :slight_smile:

Agreed. I’ll concede that some of his songs may be decent, if sung by other people, but I’drather listen to hours of Dylan at his most nasal than a minute of Youg’s simpering.

Anyway, my sacred cow (I’d prefer it ground up into kebabs, thank you) - the Big Three of Science Fiction: Asimov, Clarke and Heinlein. They weren’t very good writers, were they? Heinlein was the only one with a sense of style and an ear for dialog, and even he couldn’t handle plot and characterization.

Not everything is bigger in Texas.

Kittens suck. I mean, they taste good and all. But they’re fattening as hell.

OK, seriously, I hate Buffy, Angel, and the rest of that crowd. They’re so melodramatic and take themselves WAY too seriously. “Tonight, on Buffy: Buffy gets a slight blemish. Will the world survive?”

I want my right of reply, however, I respect your desire not to see it cluttering up this thread, so I have created a companion thread, wherein people can defend, discuss and debate the merits of the sacred cows here lined up for slaughter.

I despise sports. I never watch them. I wish they’d leave my television. I think it’s incredibly silly to pay grown men millions of dollars to play kids’ games.

I don’t really watch TV. I know it’s trendy in some quarters to say that, but I really don’t give a shit. I have a small portable CRT set about 15 years old, and a mere four terrestrial channels. I turn the TV on when there’s something I specifically want to watch, then turn it straight off again. In the last month, I’ve watched maybe two hours in total - the Apprentice and a cookery program. I don’t torrent anything either. I don’t seem to have the requisite attentions span to commit to anything resembling a series.

I’m glad this thread has given me a forum to vent the above due to a conversation I had with a young lady on Friday night who told me, in the light of the revelation, that by not watching TV I am “missing out on life”. :dubious:

Hehe, nice one. No, dearie, life is the other bit, that happens outside that little rectangle.

I’ll contribute:

Johnny Depp.

I think he’s a reasonably talented and versatile actor, and seems to be an all-round nice guy, but he’s just not automatically the best choice for any and every role. There. I’ve said it.

Walt Disney World.

I enjoy Disney World, as does my family. We try to go every 2-3 years in fact. However there is another message board where people will go batty if you dare say a negative word about the parks. For them it is everything, their escape from reality, and they shun people who ‘just don’t get it’.

They seem to be a mix of the worst of WoW players, the biddy hens from a Foghorn Leghorn cartoon, and Scientologists.

I was a Theatre Major, and I could not stand Hamlet. It’s obvious that Shakespeare had written himself into a corner in the third act, and just started pulling plot threads out of his ass. I mean c’mon: Claudius sends Hamlet off to England with his best friends to be executed, (great set up, BTW) but then not only does Hamlet switch letters with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, but he is also rescued at sea by pirates? What the hell kind of Deus Ex Machina is that?

I still maintain after <koff-koff>-teen years that had Hamlet been penned by anyone other William My Shit Don’t Stink Shakespeare, it would have been relegated to the dustbins of history like it deserved.

Bob Dylan–who told this man he could sing? Who told him he was a great lyricist? He is naught but a narcissistic poseur.

God, that felt good.

Here is a sort of meta heresy: rock and roll doesn’t mean anything. It’s just music (and some of it crap at that). It has no deep inner significance in the world at large. Neither does rap, hip-hop or classical/opera. It’s entertainment. The songs may have personal meaning for you, but that doesn’t prove their worth.

<puts on fire retardant gear>

Well, as long as you’re not saying that about Broadway, we’re fine… :smiley:

Okay, let me add one. The baby boomers weren’t a seminal turning point in history. Yes, you did some good things, and you had some good music, but really…how much actually changed due to all the baby boomer hippie flower power stuff in the 60s? The yuppies were boomers, which people tend to forget…my goodness, the effect a decade or so has on the sandals and fringe…

Jonathan Winters.

Not funny.

Nothing Shakespeare wrote is funny today. If you laugh at one of his plays you are a phony.

Wait, does this mean some people actually think he is funny? And that those people get defensive about it? I’m gobsmacked.

The Beatles.

They wrote some catchy tunes, and knew enough to quit while they were on top, but there have been more talented songsmiths and lyricists over the past forty years. The Stones showed as much innovation over a longer periiod of time.

And let me add Broadway to that–especially Broadway of the past 20 years. Three words: Andrew Lloyd Weber. I rest my case.
:slight_smile:

I agree re the Boomers. What did they do, after all? They say they stopped a war–maybe. Civil Rights? Hmmmm. Not so sure about that one. I do know now that they affect all manner of things due strictly to their “elephant in the python” status. There’s nothing romantic or symbolic or meaningful in that, either. Just a whole lot of WW2 vets having babies.

The Straight Dope Message Board is not an enclave of the finest intellects, greatest talents, and most qualified experts. It is, in fact, a rather small community that quite often indulges in circle jerks about its own importance in the greater scheme.

And I shop at Whole Foods, drink microbrews, listen to NPR and read the Sunday New York Times.