If any of the judges on American Idol quit, who would you replace them with?

Sampiro · #1 04-23-2008, 01:59 PM

And if the show runs long enough it'll happen.

The replacement needs to have some music expertise, stage presence, and (while obviously not completely required) coherence and valid critiquing.

Some nominees for a seat I would suggest (not for any particular judge, but feel free to be specific):

Jon Bon Jovi- seemed pretty good when he was giving advice

Gene Simmons- very intelligent guy who should certainly know a bit about surviving in the music business

Cher- if she's at all interested I think she'd be a great replacement for any one of the 3

Liberal · #2 04-23-2008, 02:03 PM

Frankly, after last night I'd recommend Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Otto · #3 04-23-2008, 02:20 PM

A suicide bomber.

OpalCat · #4 04-23-2008, 02:20 PM

Yeah but he'd never do it, sadly. ALW was awesome. What I LOVED about him was that he managed to do all of these simultaneously:

give good, relevant, and helpful advice
be positive toward everyone
not insult anyone
yet still express skepticism about the ability of certain people to "pull it off"

Seems like most don't have the balls to say anything other than "oh I was blown away, they'll be amazing!"

Sampiro · #5 04-23-2008, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otto

A suicide bomber.

Give Paula another year or so. Though I doubt the explosives will work.

ETA: Agreed, ALW was fantastic. I always assumed he'd be an arrogant prick (he's a British Lord and a composer and a billionaire after all) but he seemed a genuinely nice guy and gave very polite and supportive advice while not being afraid to say "No!" and "what the hell are you thinking?".

Drunky Smurf · #6 04-23-2008, 02:31 PM

I want Ozzy to be a judge. That would be fun and then I might watch the show again.

Seacrest: Ozzy what do you think?
Ozzy: W.w.w.w.w.well I I I I I I I I thought th th that...........b b b b but I I I I I think sh sh she...........

*5 minutes later*

Seacrest: Well we have to take a commercial break and we'll get Ozzy's comments when we come back.

Seriously though I think Gene Simmons would be a great judge for the same reasons Sampiro said.

Johnny Rotten would be a good judge. I think he would be like Simon and be real honest with out trying to sugar-coat his statemants like Paula does.

Zeldar · #7 04-23-2008, 02:34 PM

Mickey Rooney. That way the show would be fun to watch.

Liberal · #8 04-23-2008, 02:37 PM

I think Ozzy would be great, especially after screwing up so bad on Survivor.

Oh, wait...

Sampiro · #9 04-23-2008, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tahssa

I want Ozzy to be a judge. That would be fun and then I might watch the show again.

Seacrest: Ozzy what do you think?
Ozzy: W.w.w.w.w.well I I I I I I I I thought th th that...........b b b b but I I I I I think sh sh she...........

*5 minutes later*

Seacrest: Well we have to take a commercial break and we'll get Ozzy's comments when we come back.

In a funny coincidence, in her "I hate that 8sshole Ryan Seacrest and here's why" spiel (YouTube link- strong language) Kathy Griffin tells about Seacrest being p.o.d at Ozzy snubbing him backstage at the infamous awards show they co-presented at.

Other great anti-Idol judges:

William O. Donohue

Andy Griffith

Ann Coulter

Jamie Lynn Spears

Liberal · #10 04-23-2008, 03:23 PM

Well in that vein, how about James Carville.

[strong Cajun accent]

I gotta say, 'at juss stunk up da whole damn rhume. Da noise dat come oudjo mouf sounded like a stepped on cat. I wooten buy a record from you if da Pope hiz self commanded it. God almighty, you cain't sang.

[/strong Cajun accent]

zagloba · #11 04-23-2008, 03:28 PM

And if we have to replace two judges, Ozzy and Keith Richards!

Sanity Challenged · #12 04-23-2008, 03:39 PM

John Madden.

Cluricaun · #13 04-23-2008, 03:40 PM

Hasselhoff would actually be pretty good despite the cultural baggage he carries.

Cluricaun · #14 04-23-2008, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sanity Challenged

John Madden.

Nevermind, I change my answer to this.

OpalCat · #15 04-23-2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sampiro

In a funny coincidence, in her "I hate that 8sshole Ryan Seacrest and here's why" spiel (YouTube link- strong language) Kathy Griffin tells about Seacrest being p.o.d at Ozzy snubbing him backstage at the infamous awards show they co-presented at.

In that bit, she says that Seacrest ripped open her shirt at the American Music Awards... is that on YouTube somewhere? I want to see if it's true

JThunder · #16 04-23-2008, 03:55 PM

Randy Jackson -> Tim Reid
Paula Abdul -> Jan Smithers
Simon Cowell -> Frank Bonner

OpalCat · #17 04-23-2008, 04:04 PM

I don't know who any of those three people are.

Zeldar · #18 04-23-2008, 04:06 PM

Hey! If she's available for some real testing of her skills: Judge Judy.

Drunky Smurf · #19 04-23-2008, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OpalCat

I don't know who any of those three people are.

I had to look them up. They all had roles on "WKRP in Cincinnati."

Stringer · #20 04-23-2008, 04:12 PM

I really liked Barry Manilow when he was on AI a few seasons ago -- he's probably a better coach than judge though.

Hampshire · #21 04-23-2008, 04:16 PM

Randy Jackson----> Smokey Robinson
Simon Cowell------> Elton John
Paual Abdul--------> Somebody not of this earth. Seriously, I have no idea what planet that lady is on when she speaks.

Stranger On A Train · #22 04-23-2008, 04:16 PM

I'd like to offer up G. Gordon Liddy. It's been a while since he's had any pop culture exposure, and it's either this or a cameo in a Quentin Tarantino flick. This would also have the side benefit of combating claims that Hollywood is nothing but a bunch of gutless Commie-pinko liberal bed wetters who couldn't do ten minutes in "The Hole" without crying for their mommies or coke dealers.

Stranger

Liberal · #23 04-23-2008, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train

I'd like to offer up G. Gordon Liddy.

Hahaha! What a great suggestion!

JThunder · #24 04-23-2008, 05:57 PM

Simon Cowell ---> Sam the Eagle
Randy Jackson ---> Rowlf the Dog
Paula Abdul ---> Miss Piggy

akira5822 · #25 04-23-2008, 06:03 PM

Lewis Black

Billdo · #26 04-23-2008, 06:40 PM

Taking the question seriously, a replacement judge would have to be someone with real pop music credibility, either as a major hit performer (like Paula) or on the production side (like Simon) or a little of both (like Randy).

If Simon leaves, I think that Randy will take his chair, and suddenly become a lot more critical.

For a replacement, a great candidate with unquestionable pop music chops, a great background in pop star promotion (for herself at least), and always interesting opinions would be Madonna. I could easily see her replacing Paula, and probably Randy. She'd have to lose the faux British accent, though.

Raguleader · #27 04-23-2008, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Billdo

For a replacement, a great candidate with unquestionable pop music chops, a great background in pop star promotion (for herself at least), and always interesting opinions would be Madonna. I could easily see her replacing Paula, and probably Randy. She'd have to lose the faux British accent, though.

Was just thinking the same thing.

Comedy suggestion: Chuck Norris, either for the roundhouse kicks or for the winner being able to thank him afterwards.