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Old 05-25-2008, 11:20 AM
Love Rhombus is offline
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How fast do farts travel?


I (sigh) promised a friend I'd ask. He's quite proud of his "thunderbutt". So, what's the word?
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Old 05-25-2008, 11:34 AM
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I have absolutely no idea why Google should even return one hit for a search string titled "speed farts", but it did.

http://mistupid.com/facts/page070.htm
Quote:
Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.
Your friend may take that for what it is worth. And you can let Mr. Thunderbutt do the math for how many miles per hour that is.
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Old 05-25-2008, 11:39 AM
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Slightly less than 7 mph according to Google calculator.
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Old 05-25-2008, 11:49 AM
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How fast do farts travel?


Initial velocity or speed of deceleration?
  #5  
Old 05-25-2008, 11:50 AM
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At the speed of smell, of course.
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Old 05-25-2008, 12:05 PM
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"Muzzle" velocity or?
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Old 05-25-2008, 12:11 PM
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Tell him speed is irrelevant. It's 'hang time' that's critical.
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Old 05-25-2008, 12:12 PM
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Oddly enough, the word "fart" in Danish means "speed".

Apart from that, I got nuttin'.
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Old 05-25-2008, 12:38 PM
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Oddly enough "Brainiac" tested this recently.
I don't watch it and only caught the last half minute but IIRC it was in the region of 4 metres a minute in still air. Stink bombs (half a dozen crushed in a shallow bowl) around 10M/m.
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Old 05-25-2008, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peak Banana
Oddly enough, the word "fart" in Danish means "speed".

Apart from that, I got nuttin'.
And in German, it means 'exit'. Okay, it's actually 'fahrt'. Okay, ausfahrt, if you want to get all technical about it.
  #11  
Old 05-25-2008, 12:43 PM
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Lit or unlit?
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Old 05-25-2008, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chowder
Lit or unlit?

Now my damnable curiosity is peaked: how fast are lit ones? And how hot?
  #13  
Old 05-25-2008, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peak Banana
Oddly enough, the word "fart" in Danish means "speed".

Apart from that, I got nuttin'.
So, "fart speed" is redundant, like "pizza pie."

Love Rhombus, unless your rumble-sphinctered pal is asking about muzzle velocity, the sound runs at Mach 1. The aromatic particles travel as fast as the air they're pooted into. In a wind tunnel, a fart could travel at 200mph. Other than that, it depends on the local wind speed. A naked farter would have a brief, or boxer, advantage over a clothed one, because of the exit delay.
  #14  
Old 05-25-2008, 01:15 PM
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Well, the anal reverberation travels at the speed of sound.
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Old 05-25-2008, 01:17 PM
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If one were to model this phenomenon, a Gaussian plume would probably be the most straightforward method. So, what do we know? According to the site submitted by Duck Duck Goose:
Quote:
On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen.
We can use that info to find the expected density of the gas using the ideal gas law comparing 98.6F to STP. For the purposes of this equation, we'd assume the stinky parts are homogeneous with the bulk of the fart at least until the room is filled. We'd also assume that the plume would have a turbulent interface.

There would have to be two parts to the equation, one with a pure momentum flux (buoyancy), that would be used in the case of a person sitting down (with their sphincter pointing down, therefore not imparting any horizontal component into the plume's velocity vector). The additional part, the mass flux, would therefore (and obviously) take into account the horizontal velocity imparted onto the plume by the bum. Finally, ambient wind speed must be taken into account.

Now, to use my least favorite textbook phrase: I'll leave the solution to the reader.



Disclaimer: I took most of this info about plumes from the wiki page. Most of what I know about plumes is from reading about how a MEOI (maximally exposed offsite individual) would be effected in the event of a radionuclide spill. Most of the actual simulations are done via computer programs.
  #16  
Old 05-25-2008, 01:19 PM
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Farts travel like the wind.
  #17  
Old 05-25-2008, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WarmNPrickly
Farts travel like the wind.

AANNNND that's just such a perfect name/subject pairing that I salute you.
  #18  
Old 05-25-2008, 03:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peak Banana
Oddly enough, the word "fart" in Danish means "speed".

Apart from that, I got nuttin'.
I always did wonder why ski wax was labeled "Fart Wax". Nice to know that it isn't due to the nature of tucking.
  #19  
Old 05-25-2008, 03:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefguy
And in German, it means 'exit'. Okay, it's actually 'fahrt'. Okay, ausfahrt, if you want to get all technical about it.
Oh, really? When I was in the German train stations, I always held my nose near those signs and thought they were for the toilets. But when I went to them, I found myself outside.
  #20  
Old 05-25-2008, 06:15 PM
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How nice to know that you are snorting up gas molecules that were in some other person's intestines only 1 second ago.
  #21  
Old 05-25-2008, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Love Rhombus
Now my damnable curiosity is peaked: how fast are lit ones? And how hot?
I don't know how fast, but one was hot enough to set my college roommate's jeans on fire.
  #22  
Old 05-25-2008, 07:30 PM
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Old farts travel about 15 mph for at least 10 miles.
  #23  
Old 05-25-2008, 07:30 PM
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What causes hang-time? I always thought it was due to leakage and one's not necessarily smelling gas, but the actual feces splatter against the inside of the underwear.
  #24  
Old 05-25-2008, 09:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ignatz
Oh, really? When I was in the German train stations, I always held my nose near those signs and thought they were for the toilets. But when I went to them, I found myself outside.
Gotta ask -- did you then dump on the doorsteps?
  #25  
Old 05-25-2008, 09:38 PM
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Only on the Dope.
  #26  
Old 05-25-2008, 09:43 PM
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Didn't Cecil do a column on some Japanese toilets that have fans installed inside them (or some such), in order to er, eliminate that smell of expelled gas in public toilets? Or am I now confabulating Dope columns as well as experiences in my real life?
  #27  
Old 05-25-2008, 09:55 PM
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Nice article in wiki. And no discussion of farts is complete without mention of Le Pétomane or providing visual aids via YouTube.
  #28  
Old 05-25-2008, 10:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peak Banana
Oddly enough, the word "fart" in Danish means "speed".

Apart from that, I got nuttin'.
I always thought that in Sweden it meant Dolly Parton lying in the road ahead.
  #29  
Old 05-26-2008, 12:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmonious Discord
Old farts travel about 15 mph for at least 10 miles.
Young ones are allus walking across my lawn at about 2 mph.

Bastards
  #30  
Old 05-26-2008, 02:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elmwood
Well, the anal reverberation travels at the speed of sound.
And the underwear staining is at the speed of browned.
  #31  
Old 05-26-2008, 05:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick
I always thought that in Sweden it meant Dolly Parton lying in the road ahead.
Yeah. And also, when you fart in Danish elevators, you have the option of alerting your fellow passengers. Such a polite country.

I should also mention the effort the Danes are making to reduce emissions on their highways.
  #32  
Old 05-26-2008, 08:12 AM
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So, have I helped to fight ignorance by asking this question?
  #33  
Old 05-26-2008, 08:22 AM
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Can I expand (hehe) the question? How compressed is the gas before emission?
  #34  
Old 05-26-2008, 09:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DudleyGarrett
What causes hang-time? I always thought it was due to leakage and one's not necessarily smelling gas, but the actual feces splatter against the inside of the underwear.
I wonder if certain farts are denser than others, thus causing more hang time.
  #35  
Old 05-26-2008, 09:21 AM
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Guy lights candle with fart:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zVoIT7oUC3s

Gotta love the grunt of determination!
  #36  
Old 05-26-2008, 10:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lobotomyboy63
Guy lights candle with fart:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zVoIT7oUC3s

Gotta love the grunt of determination!
LOL. Too much determination leads to premature defecation.
  #37  
Old 05-26-2008, 10:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil
LOL. Too much determination leads to premature defecation.
The signs of the prophets are written on the bathroom stalls:

Here I sit all broken-hearted;
Came to shit and only farted.


[Reply]

Don't you bitch, you had your chance;
I tried to fart and shit my pants.
  #38  
Old 05-26-2008, 10:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DudleyGarrett
What causes hang-time? I always thought it was due to leakage and one's not necessarily smelling gas, but the actual feces splatter against the inside of the underwear.
Are these invisible feces, 'cause i have never noticed any skidmarks after even the most pungent and durable barking spiders.
  #39  
Old 05-26-2008, 10:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fear Itself
invisible feces
Pray you never see the lolcat for this.
  #40  
Old 05-26-2008, 11:01 AM
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Pray you never see the lolcat for this.
That would be an lolshat.
__________________
Crows. Keeping our highways clear of roadkill for over 80 years
  #41  
Old 05-26-2008, 11:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danceswithcats
That would be an lolshat.
Lolscat?
  #42  
Old 05-26-2008, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmonious Discord
Old farts travel about 15 mph for at least 10 miles.
In the left lane with their right turn blinker on the entire way,
  #43  
Old 05-26-2008, 02:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Love Rhombus
How fast do farts travel?
[dylan]The answer, my friend,
is blowing in the wind
The answer
is blowing in the wind[/dylan]
  #44  
Old 05-27-2008, 08:08 AM
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10 feet per second. That's not so very fast. So I guess when I claim to be "tootin' up a storm", it's even less true than I thought.
  #45  
Old 05-27-2008, 12:52 PM
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Parting salutation: May the wind at your back never be your own.
  #46  
Old 05-27-2008, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K364
How nice to know that you are snorting up gas molecules that were in some other person's intestines only 1 second ago.
I believe they're called "Farticles"
  #47  
Old 05-27-2008, 01:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Love Rhombus
So, have I helped to fight ignorance by asking this question?
I don't know about fighting ignorance, but it's been a gas.
  #48  
Old 05-27-2008, 02:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fear Itself
Are these invisible feces, 'cause i have never noticed any skidmarks after even the most pungent and durable barking spiders.
Just because you didn't notice them doesn't mean they weren't there, Andretti.
  #49  
Old 05-27-2008, 02:23 PM
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Just because you didn't notice them doesn't mean they weren't there, Andretti.
Yes it does.
  #50  
Old 05-27-2008, 04:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lobotomyboy63
Guy lights candle with fart:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zVoIT7oUC3s

Gotta love the grunt of determination!
Fake as hell, but funny.

I've always wondered what the volume of an average fart is.
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