Ask the breastfeeding mom

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I just scrolled through all of the “Ask the” threads I could find, and amazingly it looks like we haven’t done this one. (There was one about specifically nursing an older toddler, and then there was also “Ask YOUR MOM!!” but I don’t think those count.)

My background info: I’ve had three kids now, and have breastfed all of them. Whatsit Jr. (aka son the eldest) nursed until around age 16 months or so. MiniWhatsit (daughter the only) went until her 2nd birthday. Whatsit the Youngest (son the youngest) is 12 months old and going strong.

I will do my best to answer any and all questions regarding physiology, sociology, and other -ologies of breastfeeding, as pertains to my personal experience. Other past and present breastfeeding moms should feel free to chime in also. I will attempt to answer in a non-cranky fashion even if provoked.

So, shoot.

2

Has anyone ever given you crap about it?

3

[QUOTE=emilyforce]
Has anyone ever given you crap about it?
[/QUOTE]

Not once. I mean, I’ve been in some spirited debates on the Internet, but as far as actual people saying things to me face-to-face, not once. I’ve never even really had a nasty look. We’re in Columbus, OH now, but this was also true when I lived in Seattle, and has been true of various places we’ve visited on vacation also.

The closest I guess I’ve come to getting crap from people is that my mom kept asking, “So, you’re still doing that?” after MiniWhatsit turned 1.

4

Do you modify your diet during the nursing term?

Have you considered donating any excess to the charity for third world children? (or others in need ).

5

What’s the age difference between the little Whatsits? Was there any overlap between breastfeeding one and being pregnant with another. If so, what was you’re reaction to the overlap?

6

[QUOTE=Carson O’Genic]
Do you modify your diet during the nursing term?
[/quote]

I take a prenatal vitamin and fish oil, which I don’t normally take when not nursing. Apart from that, I eat pretty much normally, although I try to eat a balanced, healthy diet in general. If I were on the all-Burger King diet normally, I’d probably try to do a little better than that while breastfeeding. :wink: I do drink more water than usual.

I personally have never really had that much excess. The body is remarkably good at regulating the amount of milk you produce, based on how much your baby currently needs. I imagine you could step up your production by using a breast pump to pump milk more often if you wanted to do that sort of thing. Presumably some people DO want to do that, because I know there are “milk banks” out there, but I am not one of them.

7

[QUOTE=MissMossie]
What’s the age difference between the little Whatsits? Was there any overlap between breastfeeding one and being pregnant with another. If so, what was you’re reaction to the overlap?
[/QUOTE]

Their birthdays, respectively, were 1/21/2002, 2/17/2004, and 5/23/2007. I was still nursing Whatsit Jr. when I became pregnant with MiniWhatsit. (He was about 14 months old.) I had heard that many women successfully nurse throughout a pregnancy and even manage to “tandem nurse” once the baby arrives, and thought that I could be one of them. This did not prove to be the case. My milk dried up almost completely when I was about 8 weeks pregnant, and at that point nursing became quite uncomfortable, verging on painful. So, I weaned Whatsit Jr., which was pretty rough on both of us. As a result, I decided at that point that if we had a third baby, I would wait until our second was fully weaned before even trying to get pregnant. So I was not nursing when I got pregnant with Whatsit the Youngest, which was much nicer and easier on everyone involved.

We have no plans for further children (and actually, if I did get pregnant again, there would be a lawsuit in the works for a certain urologist :wink: ) so this will not be an issue in the future.

8

Does it hurt?

9

[QUOTE=MsWhatsit]
So, I weaned Whatsit Jr., which was pretty rough on both of us.
[/QUOTE]

What made it so rough? I mean, it seems to me that (in the US at least) most babies are weaned between 6 and 12 months. Was it mostly because you were used to breastfeeding for a longer period of time from your first child?

Also, I’m wondering what your opinion in this is. (The link is safe for work, but the embedded video is not…but it won’t start playing automatically, and on the off chance it does, the NSFW portion is like three minutes in)

I mean…clearly, at some point breastfeeding should, and has to, stop, so when is the right time?

No plans on stopping? Ever?

I guess my personal opinion is that if a child is old enough to be very aware of what they are doing, and are asking to be breast-fed, then it’s time to start tapering off.
And I think what creeps me out most makes about this article/video is that the kids seem so focused on the mom’s breasts and breastfeeding. I mean, clearly the producers are going to have the mom and children talk about it, because that’s what the article is about, but I get the distinct impression that even if the cameras and reporter weren’t there, the kids would still be talking about the breasts, making the breast-feeding pictures, and so on. It seems like they are just a wee-bit too attached to the idea.

10

[QUOTE=bouv]
What made it so rough? I mean, it seems to me that (in the US at least) most babies are weaned between 6 and 12 months. Was it mostly because you were used to breastfeeding for a longer period of time from your first child?

Also, I’m wondering what your opinion in this is. (The link is safe for work, but the embedded video is not…but it won’t start playing automatically, and on the off chance it does, the NSFW portion is like three minutes in)

I mean…clearly, at some point breastfeeding should, and has to, stop, so when is the right time?

No plans on stopping? Ever?

I guess my personal opinion is that if a child is old enough to be very aware of what they are doing, and are asking to be breast-fed, then it’s time to start tapering off.
And I think what creeps me out most makes about this article/video is that the kids seem so focused on the mom’s breasts and breastfeeding. I mean, clearly the producers are going to have the mom and children talk about it, because that’s what the article is about, but I get the distinct impression that even if the cameras and reporter weren’t there, the kids would still be talking about the breasts, making the breast-feeding pictures, and so on. It seems like they are just a wee-bit too attached to the idea.
[/QUOTE]

First a disclaimer: I am not a woman. But I can share the perspective of my sister’s experience, when she was raising my niece.

She breastfed my niece as long as my niece wanted to suckle. My sister figured that eventually my niece would get tired of the breast and would, all on her own, give it up. But she wasn’t going to withhold it unilaterally.

And that’s pretty much what happened. Just naturally my niece started asking for my sister’s breast less and less and finally gave it up entirely at about age four.

Ed

11

Since you said you didn’t mind others joining in, I’ll jump. It’s been a while, as my youngest turns 19 the end of the summer, but I nursed my three for 14, 16, and 17 months, respectively. Stopping was my choice with the first, and he didn’t seem to mind. With the second I stopped nursing her because I was pregnant with the third. Not really by choice. And I weaned the third because we had a trip planned. It turned out okay, but given the choice I think we both would have wanted to continue for a bit.

I still think it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for my kids.

12

Another former breastfeeding mom chiming in here. Regarding the pain associated with breastfeeding - it is a hard feeling to get used to. I found it initially quite painful, but once my nipples toughened up, it was pleasant in a sensual - but very non-sexual - way. It was also satisfying enough that I’m glad I nursed through the pain (though I had to supplement thanks to some complications). The best thing about it was that feeling of closeness I shared wtih my son and second to that was that it forced me to sit down and take a break, particularly useful when I went back to work (I pumped).

But like I said, getting used to it was hard. After more than 32 hours of (mostly unmedicated because I’m too stubborn for my own good) labor, I suffered from eclampsia upon delivery and went with untreated extremely high blood pressure for two weeks afterward, which induced a migraine of the same length. I was in so much pain I couldn’t eat and could scarcely stand. Adding engorgement and cracked and bleeding nipples because I couldn’t concentrate enough to help my son latch on properly didn’t help. I think I would have had a much better experience from the start with nursing had I not had the complications I did, though, and I really enjoyed nursing until my son weaned himself during an ear infection at 7 mos.

Even worse were the jackasses at our local La Leche League who helpfully informed me, “If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.” My mom was also disgusted by the fact that I was nursing at all, so I felt like I was either a) a horrible mother for nursing incorrectly or b) a disgusting woman for nursing period, even though that’s what felt right. I’ve come to the conclusion that you just can’t win in certain aspects of parenting so listen to what works for you and screw the rest of it.

13

[QUOTE=nikonikosuru]
Does it hurt?
[/QUOTE]

In general, no. It was a little sore/tender the first few weeks, with each baby. And also, as I mentioned earlier, when my milk dried up during pregnancy, that didn’t feel too good. But usually no, it feels fine.

No, this was my first child. I don’t know what the average age of weaning is, but I do know that babies need breastmilk or formula until they’re a year old, so “weaning” that occurs before age 1 is really just switching to formula. Which IMO is not really weaning. That being said, the reason it was rough even though Whatsit Jr. was 16 months old is that he just wasn’t ready. He still nursed to sleep almost every night, for one thing. When my daughter weaned, it was a much more natural, gradual process. She stopped wanting to nurse in the morning, and then she stopped wanting to nurse at naptime, and then only the before-bed nursing session was left. Around the time of her 2nd birthday, I just started telling her “not right now” or “maybe later” when she wanted to nurse at bedtime. She’d shrug and go to sleep anyway and after a week she quit asking. Much nicer, much less stressful, than the forcible weaning I did with my first child.

The video you linked does strike me as being pretty weird, yeah. And the kids do seem a bit, er, breast-obsessed, for lack of a better word. Beyond that, I have no real opinion, as that sort of thing is totally outside my experience. I will say that I personally know a lot of people who have nursed their babies until late toddlerhood or even a bit beyond, but I don’t know anyone who has continued to nurse a kindergartener or older. So this sort of thing is pretty rare.

14

[QUOTE=MsWhatsit]
In general, no. It was a little sore/tender the first few weeks, with each baby.
[/QUOTE]

Upon further reflection, I want to clarify this, as after having experienced childbirth three times, including C-section recovery once, and also having had my wisdom teeth extracted, I might have a different definition of “sore/tender” than most people.

I read in some parenting magazine once that a celebrity described the early weeks of breastfeeding as “putting my tits on a grill.” I thought to myself, “yep, that pretty much nailed it.”

It gets better, though.

15

MsWhatsit thanks for starting this thread, that was a great idea. I can’t believe we’ve never done this before.

Anyway, from my perspective (mother of three, breastfed 20 months/11 months/7 months and counting) I’d like to expand on this question some more…

[QUOTE=bouv]
What made it so rough? I mean, it seems to me that (in the US at least) most babies are weaned between 6 and 12 months. Was it mostly because you were used to breastfeeding for a longer period of time from your first child?

[/QUOTE]

6 months is currently the recommended age to start a baby eating solid food. So the sort of “weaning” you’re describing probably means “switching from a mostly-milk diet to a mostly-other-foods diet”. That’s one sense of the word ‘weaning’.

The other sense of the word is “changing from having their milk from Mum to having it from a bottle/cup” (or even weaning from a bottle to a cup - no boobs involved).

Any of these forms of weaning can be ‘rough’ if the reason for it is not “because the baby’s ready for it” but some other external reason. Some babies won’t take a bottle. Some won’t give up their bottle. Some don’t want to eat food from a spoon - at all, ever.

Just because a lot of people are weaning (in one sense) at a particular age/stage doesn’t mean it’s not rough for them too. Lots of things with babies are rough, and transitioning them from doing one thing to doing another is particularly so

16

How does lactating affect your sex life? I can imagine the breasts becoming a no-go zone for some mothers (and fathers for that matter).

17

Another currently breastfeeding mom checking in. Spencer is just over two, and Colin is 16 weeks (just shy of four months). I am a tandem nurser. Spencer only nurses in the morning, at naptime, and at bedtime. But he would nurse a lot more if I would let him. We do sometimes tandem nurse in the truest sense - both nursing at the same time. That’s typically only at naptime, and maybe only once or twice a week.

My husband knows what he’s getting into when he goes there. So he’s careful not to play too hard, and deals with the spray if he does.

18

[QUOTE=Ritter]
How does lactating affect your sex life? I can imagine the breasts becoming a no-go zone for some mothers (and fathers for that matter).
[/QUOTE]

I also think it’s a personal thing. Meaning, it can vary from woman to woman and from child to child. Personally, I had a really clingly little one. Until he was 3-4 months, I wore him in a sling most of the time, even when I went to the bathroom. And he nursed so much I would often find myself eating a sandwich or reading with one hand while he was latched on. I also let him nurse as much as he wanted at each breast. Some women are advised to let them go for a set time per side; if there is a problem with the milk coming in, as I had, letting them go as long as they want can stimulate milk production - sadly it didn’t work that well for me, but I digress.

My point in all of this is that I was often touched out by the end of the day, particularly my boobs. Not only did my son nurse nearly an hour per session, I also was instructed to pump for 10 minutes afterward. There was so much focus on my breasts I really felt like a cow and didn’t want anyone touching them for a while. I think he was 12 or 13 months before my breasts became truly sexual for me again. Of course, for my husband that never went away.

19

How did you moms deal with breastfeeding while working outside the home? Did you have a place at work to pump and refrigerate expressed milk? Did your kids have a problem switching between bottles at daycare and breast at home?

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[QUOTE=burundi]
How did you moms deal with breastfeeding while working outside the home? Did you have a place at work to pump and refrigerate expressed milk? Did your kids have a problem switching between bottles at daycare and breast at home?
[/QUOTE]
I work full time, and pumped with both my kids for about 8-9 months (until they were a year old). I pumped in my office, which I hated because it’s a small company and we never close our doors normally, so whenever I did, the few people here would know what I was doing! I also got a pump I could use in the car, since I have a long commute. I would put the milk in special little freezer bags and put them in the freezer section of our little refrigerator in the break room. At the end of the day, I’d bring them to daycare and put them in the freezer there.

My kids never had any trouble with switching. My daughter took a while to get used to a bottle…I waited a little too long before introducing it, I think. But once they got the hang of it, they switched back and forth just fine.