I was the first one on the elevator. 7 of you hulking, burly men proceeded to get on the elevator after me. As we see the number 1 appear on the floor display above us and the doors open into the lobby, that means GET THE FUCK OFF THE ELEVATOR! That DOES NOT mean stand there and squish up against the wall and force me to squeeze my ample frame between you so that I can get off the elevator first just because I am a girl. My lack of a penis does not mean that I can’t wait 4 seconds for the elevator to empty out!
I get that you are just trying to be nice. Really, I do, but when your niceness causes me to want to scream so loud that I could set off car alarms it isn’t really nice anymore. Hold the door for me? That is sweet, thanks. Give up your seat on the subway? I appreciate it, even if I decline the offer. I also am not a stranger to holding open doors or giving up my subway seat either. These things are just good courtesy. Blocking traffic because you want to be polite to my ovaries? Not nice, fellas. Or smart. The bottle neck of people who want to get out of the elevator (or subway, or department store) don’t give a damn whether I have indoor or outdoor plumbing, they just want me to move myself out of their way, which I can’t do because you are blocking the exit. Move your ass! Don’t make me kick you in the butt repeatedly to force you out of my way. And if you force me to run the burly man gauntlet to get out of the elevator or off of the subway or whatever and you use that excuse to nonchalantly brush up against my boobs I will not hesitate to sneeze all over you. Assholes!
Why didn’t you put this one in MPSIMS with all your other “Boobs. Some other stuff happened, but mostly boobs. And I’m hot. Guys think I’m sexy and they’re always up in my stuff thinking I’m sexy and fawning all over me and I’m always having to deal with big men hitting on me because I’m so sexy. Did I mention my boobs yet? Boobs.” threads?
Too late now, I suppose.
At least none of them forced you to take their phone number, right?
I’m not sure I understand. You were in the back of a crowded elevator. The elevator reached the lobby, where everyone intended to debark. And instead of filtering out of the elevator like normal human beings, the men in front of you tried to clear a path so you could exit first?
That’s not chivalrous – it’s just insane. It would never even occur to me to try that. Even if it were just me and a single female in an elevator, I wouldn’t make a point of stepping aside so she could go first.
At best, I think, it would just make the other person feel self-conscious: “Oh, it would seem that I have a penis whereas you do not. How about that! Please, after you.”
At worst, it could come off as potentially lecherous: “I think perhaps I would like to look at your ass for a few seconds; would you mind walking ahead of me?”
Where do you live, pbbth? Maybe it’s a regional thing, because I’m pretty sure that this is not common elevator practice here in New York. (Or have I just been behaving very rudely all these years?) Also, I have to ask: why did you go along with this farce? Wouldn’t it have been better to smile, wave your hand, and say, “Go, go.”
The more I think about it, the crazier this practice seems. What if you’re in the back of a crowded elevator that’s going **up **and you’re the first one to exit? Would the people in front of you do the obvious thing and exit the elevator first so you could get out comfortably? It would be downright rude not to do so, but how is that functionally any different than expecting you to squeeze out in front of them at the ground floor?
I would be letting you go first. Years, and years ago as a young college student working in a hospital, I was quietly reprimanded for not letting a nurse off the elevator before me. I will never make THAT mistake again.
I don’t know, the lazy thing to do would be just walk out and be gone. They are going out of their way to make a path for her.
BTW, I am the only other person in an elevator with someone else, I would normally stand by the door, holding it and waiting for the other person to leave. I do it for youngsters, women of all ages, elder men and basically for anyone not a male in my age range. This is also a good moment to say “good day” or something to that effect. I think it is basic courtesy.
It’s not so crazy. I do it all the time. I usually let men get off before me, too. But only when there’s ample room. If anyone has to squeeze by, then I’ll get off first.
Hulking burly men have feelings too! We try our best, we really do, to have as little impact on the world around us as possible. We try to get out of the way, we try to be non-threatening and polite. And this is the thanks we get???! Fuck it. I’m taking the stairs from now on (although the extra exercise will probably only make me all the more hulking and burly.)
