One thing about living in Des Moines I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.
Yeah, isn’t that great? Now as soon as it warms up enough to smell it, we will all be craving Italian food, AND I didn’t spin out on the freeway this time on my way to work!
I heard a radio interview this morning with some of the folks in Ankeny. Very funny stuff. The Public Works director sounded like the nicest, most leveled headed guy. He and the residents seem more amused than anything by the pizzeria aroma wafting from the streets.
God, I love the midwest. I really do.
Of course the Killer Sleet Storm of the Decade That Will End Life as We Know It just started here so I’m firmly in favor of anything that will melt ice.
I sense a larger scheme here. Come the spring runoff into the sewers, those Ankeny garlic rats are going to be Iowa’s tastiest new export. Besides which, come on: melting ice with celery salt is something the French would do.
Garlic salt? That may work in Iowa but here in New York we find that garlic overwhelms the slush. We prefer to use sea salt on our roads with maybe just a dash of fresh basil.
This is awesome. My parents live in Ankeny. Now I can tell my dad that the stench is the reason I don’t visit.
And it will stink. The town smells awful on the days they manufacture garlic salt and onion powder at the Tone’s plant. The company I work for once got some free barrels from the plant, to use for garbage cans. They had been used to store garlic salt. They were so pungent that they stunk up the warehouse AND the office space. After we got rid of them, the office still smelled like garlic salt for weeks.
I don’t know why Ankeny needs to resort to donated garlic salt. The residents are relatively wealthy and property taxes are sky high. The town is run by doofuses, though.
P.S.–There are no rats in Ankeny sewers. Just raccoons.
Errr, isn’t garlic potentially toxic to animals? Or am I making that up?
You’re confusing “potentially toxic to” with “potentially tasty on”.
Badda-bing, badda-boom. No more problem. 
Those snow vampires are the worst. Godspeed, Ankenyfolk!
Originally posted by kferr
Nice
And I too think this is awesome news. All of the Italian places are really going to be packed as soon as all that stuff starts to melt.
They should have used fruit syrup and turned the town into a giant Slurpee.
Bacon salt.
[The salt was donated by Tone Brothers Inc., a top spice producer headquartered in Ankeny.]
It may be a good thing that company doesn’t make nails.
Yes, but IIRC, only in large quantities. Hopefully the garlic salted ice won’t contain enough actual garlic to make any critters sick. 
It’s not 100% garlic salt. They’re mixing it with other stuff too, from what I hear. Holy water and crucifixes too, probably.
hmmmm…garlicky raccoon…
The really scary part is that Tone has enough garlic salt to thaw all the roads in Ankeny, as well as to sell in tiny, overpriced bottles.
Now we see why spices are so expensive.
Keep in mind that there has been a garlic salt glut since raccoons were listed as a protected species. They’re just trying to bring supply in line with demand.
It’s really gonna make the roadkill taste divine.