My beloved, RickQ, was diagnosed with kidney cancer in January. He wrote about it in a thread that I am too upset to find right now.
He is dying. I know that sounds blunt, but I am tired of people asking me if there isn’t something that can be done. No, I wish there were. I didn’t want to post this before now for fear he would read it, but that isn’t a possiblity now. He is confused and sleeps most of the time. I posted on domebo because I knew he wouldn’t go there.
This is so much more heartbreaking than I could have imagined. If you have been through this, I am so sorry. If you haven’t, take what you imagine and multiple it by infinity. I watch him slip away bit by bit. He isn’t in pain, but is occasionally confused and frightened.
Rick and I met on the dope. This place has a special place in our hearts. We met in a flirting thread, started emailing, then phoning, then I went to meet him in England. We loved each other from the start. We have been married 6 years, and have been so happy and good for each other. Here’s the kind of couple we are–we kiss when one of us leaves the table to go to the restroom. We hold hands, we talk, we truly get each other.
I am sorry. I was just sitting here feeling sorry for myself since tomorrow will be the 6th anniversary of my father’s passing. I cannot begin to imagine losing my husband. Hugs to you both.
Damn it, damn it, damn it. I’m so sorry, Brynda. If there’s something we can do to help you take care of yourself, RickQ or anything during this time, please don’t hesitate to let us know. I know we can’t help with the things that matter the most, but if you think of anything, please say so.
Thanks for the link to his thread about his cancer. Now if someone could find the link where I went to London to meet him, I would be most grateful. It was in April of 2001 and I was the OP. It would meen so much to see it again and to know that some of you read it and saw how happy we were.
I am so aftraid. I don’t want him to have to suffer in any way.
I recently lost my mother (to something other than cancer) and I, too, grew very weary of the “can’t you do something?” and “maybe a miracle will happen!” sorts of statement. They mean well, but don’t understand the pain they can cause.
If your husband can not get better and his death is inevitable I wish for it to be as pain-free and peaceful as possible. Of course, it’s almost impossible to truly achieve that, but the attempt is a worthy effort. Be sure to take care of yourself, as well - you can’t help others unless you also take care of yourself.
