Do adult southerners in the US call their father "Daddy"?

[Northern Piper]

I've seen this usage from time to time in novels and movies set in the south: a reference to someone as "your daddy" or "my daddy", when the child in question is a full adult. It sounds odd to me, because to me, "Daddy" is what a small child calls their father - it's not what an adult would call their father, except perhaps jokingly.

Is this a common usage in the southern US?

[Kalhoun]

I've known quite a few southerners, both male and female, who refer to their fathers as "daddy."

The closest I've ever come is "Daddy-O" and that's where I draw the line.

[whole bean]

Originally Posted by Northern Piper

I've seen this usage from time to time in novels and movies set in the south: a reference to someone as "your daddy" or "my daddy", when the child in question is a full adult. It sounds odd to me, because to me, "Daddy" is what a small child calls their father - it's not what an adult would call their father, except perhaps jokingly.

Is this a common usage in the southern US?

It is not uncommon, though probably more common for adult women than men, in my experience. The only people who come to mind are my wife and a male friend from a small town. FWIW, the truly red tend to pronounse it "Diddy."

[KneadToKnow]

Originally Posted by Northern Piper

Is this a common usage in the southern US?

There are areas where it is, I would say, not uncommon. More rural areas, generally. And in my experience it's more common for a female to refer to her father this way than a male, as an adult anyway.

However, I think it gets disproportionately presented as common. George Carlin mentioned it in a skit, as did another comic whose name escapes me at the moment. It's one of those things that people will use as shorthand for "redneck and/or Southerner," the way some people use "youse guys" as shorthand for a certain type of New Yorker.

[Jackknifed Juggernaut]

I'm from NJ, and I call my father daddy. I'm 39, but it's what I've always call him.

[Quasimodem]

When I speak of my father to my Bro' I refer to him as "Daddy", because my Bro is a little more "southern" than I am (We came to the States when Skip was still a baby, so he grew up southern), and that is what he always called him.

When I spoke to my Dad, I always called him "Dad", so when I speak of him to others, it's Dad as well.

I just noticed I capitalized the word "Dad".

That's kind of a two-way thing:

1. The German grammar rule of capitalizing nouns
2. I loved my Dad

George Carlin did a very hilarious routine about that "Daddy" thing.

Makes me laugh even now.

Q

[Mississippienne]

Everyone I know in MS refers to their father as "daddy", including myself. "Bubba" is dying out but I did call my brother that until I was about 12.

[whole bean]

Originally Posted by Mississippienne

Everyone I know in MS refers to their father as "daddy", including myself. "Bubba" is dying out but I did call my brother that until I was about 12.

C'mon, everyone? Certainly you must know a recent immigrant or non-native southerner. Please tell me this is hyperbole. I grew up in Alabama (22 years) and have lived in Georgia for the past 10 years. Most of the southern adult men and many of southern adult women I have know, especially those born after 1970, don't use the term often or as a third person reference.

[tim314]

In parts of the South, yes, this is common. My mom was born in Alabama and she says that where she grew up everyone called their parents "Momma and Daddy". Although a friend of mine from Tennesee called his parents "Momma and Poppa", so maybe that's preferred in some parts of the South. In the North, "Mom and Dad" see to be the norm. Although my dad and his sisters (who grew up in a kind of ritzy suburb of Cleveland, OH) called their parents "Mother and Father", which just seems laughably stilted to me.

[BlakeTyner]

It's VERY common in rural northeast Texas--I still call my father (whom I lost 12 years ago) "daddy" when I talk about him. He did, too, until the day he died at age 63.

It'd be easier for me to count the people who DON'T do it in my neck of the woods than to count those who do.

FWIW, it crops up in country music. Off the top of my head I can think of Hank Jr. "now I am very proud / of my daddy's name" (Family Tradition) and "daddy told me stories bout the winos and the freight trains" (Ramblin' in My Shoes) among others. George Strait also comes to mind: "let me tell you a secret / about a father's love / a secret that my daddy said was just between us".

[Bijou Drains]

I have some adult relatives in NC who do it. My wife who is from NC does not do it.

[sailor]

Originally Posted by Quasimodem

When I spoke to my Dad, I always called him "Dad", so when I speak of him to others, it's Dad as well.

I don't get this. He may be "dad" to me but when talking to others I call him "my father". It just sounds childish to call him "dad" when speaking about him unless it is with someone who also calls him "dad". When Americans talk to me and refer to their "dad" I feel they are giving me an intimacy which I do not want.

[pulykamell]

Originally Posted by sailor

I don't get this. He may be "dad" to me but when talking to others I call him "my father". It just sounds childish to call him "dad" when speaking about him unless it is with someone who also calls him "dad". When Americans talk to me and refer to their "dad" I feel they are giving me an intimacy which I do not want.

I guess it depends on context. For most casual conversation, I find "father" and "mother" may be too formal. Well, maybe not "too formal," it's just not the way I speak normally. It's a judgment call on the situation, but I default to "mom" and "dad" and "my folks" and consciously switch vocabulary to "mother" and "father" and "parents" in situations where the formality seems more correct.

[Zsofia]

Originally Posted by KneadToKnow

There are areas where it is, I would say, not uncommon. More rural areas, generally. And in my experience it's more common for a female to refer to her father this way than a male, as an adult anyway.

However, I think it gets disproportionately presented as common. George Carlin mentioned it in a skit, as did another comic whose name escapes me at the moment. It's one of those things that people will use as shorthand for "redneck and/or Southerner," the way some people use "youse guys" as shorthand for a certain type of New Yorker.

This.

I'd say more people use it humorously, and in the third person - "When I was your age if I'd done that my daddy would have tore my butt up!"

I, and many people I've noticed, do say "Mama" when upset, and address their mothers with it. "Mama, I told you before I am NOT going to dinner with them!" as well as the third person use, non-humorously.

"Yo mamma" is a different animal, of course. I heard she's so fat she has smaller fat ladies in orbit around her, but that may only be a rumor.




ETA - the "mama" usage is also disproportionately feminine, IMHO.

[KneadToKnow]

Originally Posted by sailor

When Americans talk to me and refer to their "dad" I feel they are giving me an intimacy which I do not want.

There's admittedly a fine line between intimacy and informality. I think most Americans would see it as the latter.

[Fubaya]

I live in Tennessee and have traveled all over the south and have never heard a male call their father daddy except in movies/TV. I'm sure some do, but I haven't heard it once in my life. I can see females saying it, although I don't think I've heard that either, but it probably wouldn't have registered if I heard a female say it.

[MonaLizaT]

Northeast Florida reporting here - my parents are Mama and Daddy to all six children (one boy and five girls). At some point when I was a snotty teenager I started using Mother although I was the only one to do that. Mom and Dad just sound so, well, Yankee.

[Quasimodem]

Sailor, I do understand what you're saying.

There's a lot of "protocol" in Europe regarding familiarity which must be observed. The familiar Du and the unfamiliar Sie, for instance. They both mean you, but if you don't know the person, the culture is you use "Sie"

And I also get your point about the use of "Dad" or "Daddy'. In Germany, one wouldn't use either of those nicknames in a conversation because, as you said, this is an intimacy shared between you and your "Vati" (if I may just use that as an example).

If I were to ask you, "Ist Ihr Vati zuhause?", (Is your Daddy at home), you would probably look at me like I just stepped off my flying saucer.

I am addressing Sailor unfamiliarly with the word "Ihr" (your), yet suddenly go familiar with "Vati". It just doesn't make sense. It would be inappropriate in the United States as well.

"Excuse me, Mr. Jones, is your Daddy at home?"

But again, it's the difference in the two cultures.

I have a problem when I go home remembering the Du and Sie, and I stumble a lot, especially in the first few days.

"Warum haben Sie mich gedutzt?" translates into 'Why did you, you me?"

I find the nuances of language very interesting.

Quasi

[tetranz]

My partner is from Texas and uses "Daddy" and "Mother" when talking to her parents. Both sound odd to me. Daddy sounds childish and Mother sounds ridiculously formal. She said it was common in her part of the world. They're a modern urban family with nothing particularly formal about them in general.

[ToeJam]

I go with Dad. Never Father though. Just Dad.
Mom though can be Momma, Mama, and Mommy if i got a boo boo and she just happened to call.

[Skald the Rhymer]

I was born and raised in Tennessee. My youngest sibling is just past 30; my oldest is about to turn 50. Except for me, all of my father's children call him "Daddy," and they all called our mother "Mama" until she died. (I decided I didn't like the way either sounded when I was maybe ten and so moved to "Dad" and "Mother.")

My step-daughter calls me "Daddy," sometimes, but generally only when she's pissed. She's 21.

[SoulFrost]

It's very common in Texas, at least from Texarkana down to Houston.

That's what I called my father. I tried out a bunch of other names for him... "old man", "pop", "dad"... when I was a kid, but "daddy" worked best. It's also what he called his father and how he would refer to himself when leaving messages.

[ivylass]

I was born, grew up, and live in Florida. I always call my father "Daddy." I called my FIL (RIP) Dad.

[Captain Amazing]

Originally Posted by sailor

When Americans talk to me and refer to their "dad" I feel they are giving me an intimacy which I do not want.

They aren't. It doesn't have that connotation in English.

[NinetyWt]

Originally Posted by whole bean

C'mon, everyone? Certainly you must know a recent immigrant or non-native southerner. Please tell me this is hyperbole. I grew up in Alabama (22 years) and have lived in Georgia for the past 10 years. Most of the southern adult men and many of southern adult women I have know, especially those born after 1970, don't use the term often or as a third person reference.

Probably 90% of native Mississippians do. I have lived here for 47 of my 49 years and hear it all the time ... I do and my husband does. I don't see what's so strange about it (obviously).

[Ephemera]

My 60 year old father calls my grandfather daddy, and I think both my thirtysomething cousins call their father daddy as well. I've never really thought much about it, though the idea of calling him dad daddy doesn't feel right at all. We all live in Tennessee.

All the mentions of it being common in Mississippi and Alabama makes me I think this might be more of a Deep South and/or Southern black thing. Thinking back, most of the people I've known to say it (including my family members, who are somehow a lot more Southern than me despite having similar upbringings) have definitely fit that mold.

[Zsofia]

I do admit, I know one lady who totally reminds me of Blanche from The Golden Girls who calls her father "Big Daddy". Now that is some creepy shit there. I mean, we're Southern, but we're not Tennessee Williams Southern, if you know what I mean.

[Quasimodem]

Zsofia,

That reminds me of an old Benny Hill skit. He was spoofing Cat On a Hot Tin Roof, and had one of those busty blondes on his lap.

I forget what went before, but Benny was saying something like she was a "feisty li'l thang!"

The blonde said, "I give tit for tat, Big Daddy!"

Benny says, 'Well, in that case, TAT!"

Q

[tim314]

I grew up calling my grandmother "Biggie", but for many years I didn't know that the name came from my mom's shortening of "Big Momma". It always made me laugh that there was a rapper named after my grandma (and a portion size at Wendy's, but now apparently they call this "medium" )

[Pyper]

I'm from California and I call my parents Mama and Daddy. We're about five generations removed from the South, though, so we're probably just an anomaly.

[starwarsfreek42]

Everybody I know calls their parents Mama and Daddy. Except me, I call my dad Mike. I know people who call their grandparents "Mee-maw" and "Pap-paw". I swear, every time I hear a grown man say the word Mee-maw, I just want to kick him in the teeth.

[lokij]

Originally Posted by Zsofia

I do admit, I know one lady who totally reminds me of Blanche from The Golden Girls who calls her father "Big Daddy". Now that is some creepy shit there. I mean, we're Southern, but we're not Tennessee Williams Southern, if you know what I mean.

Well, my great-grandmother (my mother's mother's mother) was "Big Momma" to everybody in the family until and after she died. Her husband, whom I never had a chance to meet, was called "Big Daddy". My sister and I both call our father "Daddy" however it could be because he passed away when I was 15 and she was 13.. he just stayed "Daddy" to us.

[Captain Carrot]

I'm a 20-year-old Yankee and I call my dad Daddy. Sometimes Papa, but that's when I'm being silly. Everyone in the family calls them Mama and Daddy, except for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law.

[Floppy Joe]

Born 'n raised in Southern California. HOWEVER, both of my parents and all of my relatives are from deep in the hills of Tennessee. Up until this time, I had never considered familial names might be regional, including Daddy. My father has been called father, Dad, Daddy, and Pop. I had never considered any of them to be diminutive or intimate in any way. All the terms were used interchangeably.

OTOH, I knew my father's parents as Grandmomma & Grandaddy, and my mother's parents as Granma & Grandad.

[sailor]

Originally Posted by Captain Amazing

They aren't. It doesn't have that connotation in English.

Well, maybe it doesn't in American English but it does to me and I find it creepy. I do not like people referring to their family or friends by their pet names. I guess I was brought uo to be more formal.

You can call your wife "my honey-bunny" when talking to her (although I find such things tacky) but *please* do not use such nicknames when talking to me and referring to her. I prefer "my wife".

[tim314]

Out of curiosity, sailor, where are you from? I've never heard of anyone considering "my dad" a pet name. In my mind (and I think most Americans, at least) "dad" is just a synonym for "father".

[sailor]

Originally Posted by tim314

Out of curiosity, sailor, where are you from? I've never heard of anyone considering "my dad" a pet name. In my mind (and I think most Americans, at least) "dad" is just a synonym for "father".

Yes, I understand that, it's just me. I also prefer "children" to "kids" when talking with someone who is not a close friend.

The same thing happens in Spanish where in Spain we would use Padre, Madre to talk about our parents but in South America they would say Papá, Mamá, (Mommy, Daddy) which to me sounds like a childish thing even though I understand it is normal for them.

I am not saying it's wrong, just that it sounds weird to me because I grew up hearing more formal speech. It is abit comical for me to hear an American president talk about his "daddy" or a south American president about "mi papá". Next thing I expect them to ask if I will read them a story at bed time. The pet goat or something.

[AllShookDown]

I grew up in Illinois, my parents grew up in Kansas, some of my mother's ancestors were from the south. Mama and Daddy for us. When referring to them to other people it's "my mom" or "my dad." For the past five years or so my eldest sister has been calling our mother "Mom" and it's just wrong.

[Mississippienne]

Originally Posted by whole bean

C'mon, everyone? Certainly you must know a recent immigrant or non-native southerner. Please tell me this is hyperbole. I grew up in Alabama (22 years) and have lived in Georgia for the past 10 years. Most of the southern adult men and many of southern adult women I have know, especially those born after 1970, don't use the term often or as a third person reference.

Everyone I can think of who I've heard refer to their fathers has called them 'daddy'. I can't recall ever hearing Papa, and Dad was something teenagers on TV called their fathers. Pa or Pops was even rarer. My mama refers to her father, who died years ago, as her daddy, and I called him Grandaddy.

Mee-maw for grandmother is also heard down in MS (along with the somewhat more popular Grandma) but I haven't heard Paw-paw much except when it's meant to be precious.

[JimOfAllTrades]

When talking or writing about my father or mother to anyone outside the family, I use ‘dad’ or ‘father’ and ‘mom’ or ‘mother’.

But in conversation between the siblings, we all do it pretty much the same way: it’s always ‘mom’ when talking about our mother, but when referring to our dad, it’s split between ‘daddy’, ‘the old man’, and ‘SJ’ (his initials, which is what almost everyone outside the family called him).

So we do sometimes use ‘daddy’ in a family setting.

Grandparents are always “grandma’ and ‘grandpa’ within the family, ‘grandmother’ and ‘grandfather’ to outsiders.

[StGermain]

I always called my father "Dad" or "Da". My sisters sometimes called him "Daddy". Most of us called our mother "Mother". I'd guess we made the switch from Mom to Mother when we were around 10 or so.

When writing about him, I'll usually refer to him as "my father". When calling him by name I'd say Dad. For example: "My father died of lung cancer. Dad was 67 when he died."

StG

[Zoe]

My first word was Da. Daddy is not at all a pet name. It symbolizes a person of honor in my life. I usually will change a word if it offends someone. Not this one. It is what it is.

[ñañi]

Originally Posted by sailor

The same thing happens in Spanish where in Spain we would use Padre, Madre to talk about our parents but in South America they would say Papá, Mamá, (Mommy, Daddy) which to me sounds like a childish thing even though I understand it is normal for them.

I am not saying it's wrong, just that it sounds weird to me because I grew up hearing more formal speech. It is abit comical for me to hear an American president talk about his "daddy" or a south American president about "mi papá". Next thing I expect them to ask if I will read them a story at bed time. The pet goat or something.

In my (Mexican) experience, just as how the trail can go - Father - Dad - Daddy, in Spanish, it goes Padre - Papa - Papi. The middle term being relatively neutral. Is it different in Spain?

[sco3tt]

I'm in southeast Texas and have yet to hear anyone say "Daddy" here in anything but a mocking context. My two closest friends (both adults, one from Houston, one from way up in the panhandle) use "Dad" in their paternal references. On the other hand, they hardly ever say "shucks" or "y'all" so it might just be a bad sample.

Where I grew up in northeast Kansas, "Mom" and "Dad" were the norm. It also seems we tended to further qualify these terms when speaking to anyone outside the family. For example, I would never have said to my high-school girlfriend "Dad said if I wasn't in bed by 10 I should go home" without prefacing it with "My" (or on rare occasions "Your"). Growing up I never even heard any of the "Ma/Mama", "Pa/Papa" variants outside of movies or novels. Certainly if anyone there over 10 years old referred to their parents as "Mommy" or "Daddy" they'd get some odd reactions.

Interestingly, my young nieces distinguish their two grandfathers by using "granddad" for the paternal and "grandpa" for the maternal (eliding the first "d" in both cases, of course... we're all from Kansas). I once made the mistake of referring to the former (my own dad) as their "gran{d}pa" (the term I always used for my own paternal grandfather*) and was verbally chastised by all three of the little nippers.

(*My maternal grandfather died ten years before I was born, so I never developed a familiar term for him. In all my life I think I've only ever spoken of him with my mom, and always as "your dad".)

[Northern Piper]

thanks for all the replies, everyone. very interesting.

I'm sort of in the same school of thought as sailor - not so much that it's too personal, but that it just seems very odd to me, since I personally associate "daddy" with what small children call their father. There appears to be considerable regional variance on this usage.

[Kizarvexius]

Though I've not been raised in the South, my parents are both Southerners. Going to family reunions, I'd not be the least bit surprised to hear any of my cousins -- male or female -- referring to their respective fathers as "daddy".

Within my immediate family, however, the standards are a bit different. One of my two sisters says "daddy", but she also calls me "Davy", whereas to everyone else I am Dave. My brother and I would never address our father as "daddy". Father, yes. Dad, yes. Great and glorious almighty Lord Attila, oh hell yes.

You can call me Dad, you can call me Father, you can call me Jacob and you can call me Jake. You can call me a dirty old son-of-a-bitch, but if you EVER call me Daddy again, I'll finish this fight. -- John Wayne in Big Jake

[Captain Carrot]

But his son said 'Daddy' with clear disrespect, so that's not quite the same thing.

[chaoticbear]

22-year-old native Arkansan - They are both "Mom" and "Dad". I use "Mama" occasionally when I affect a Southern accent while speaking with her. "Mommy and Daddy" are never used to these people, but ironically in discussions with other people.

(Now, there is a Daddy in my life, but that's another story... )

[obfusciatrist]

Very interesting thread.

Growing up in SW Washigton state it was simply (from the youngest age, I recall my mom telling my younger sister to not call her mommy) Mom and Dad when talking to them (and "my mom" and "my dad" when referencing them to others).

All grandparents regardless of level (I grew up to adulthood with many great-grandparents still alive) were just grandma and grandpa with the appropriate surname added when referencing them to others who know them and need differentiation (so I might have said to my mom that "Grandma Neilor called earlier and wants you to call back" but wouldn't have said "Your mom called and wants you to call back.

All other family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) were simply referred to by their first name, both when talking to to them or about them.

So yeah, when I moved out into the wider world after high school it took me a while to stop viewing as infantile people who said mommy, daddy, Aunt Sally, Cousin Itt, etc. Getting used to everybody being an "auntie" when I lived in Hawai'i helped a lot with that. I must admit that I still haven't quite made it to such acceptance with "momma."

[Koxinga]

So I take it that most of y'all's skins would crawl if you heard a wife addressing her husband as "daddy"?