So a married woman............

[AK84]

last Sunday evening at the bar in the Swisshotel in London, I found myself propostioned by a women. Nothing to be upset about, except that she was wearing a "must not touch marker" colloquially known as a "wedding ring". Is there a new fashion of wearing a plain gold band on the ring finger of your left hand. What the hell are you supposed to do in a situation like this, when a very atractive, very married woman is busy hitting on you? My friend idea was "take the bait", which I suspect was a bit unrealistic.



And why would you wear a wedding ring when going out "hunting".

[Wargamer]

Maybe the husband wants to watch?

[zoid]

When I tended bar this happened to me all the time. This is not ment as an indication of my attractivness. I just happened to be there. Never took anyone up on it - hell it was a local bar, I knew their husbands fer cryin' out loud.

Untill then I always thought it was us guys that usually did all the cheating - a real eye opener that was.

[Cat Fight]

Plenty of women wear random rings on their left ring fingers, but a plain gold band? Not so much. If she didn't take it off, she probably just wanted you to know the deal – NSA sex, no relationship. Or she thought you might have a cuckolding fantasy.

[AK84]

Originally Posted by Cat Fight

Plenty of women wear random rings on their left ring fingers, but a plain gold band? Not so much. If she didn't take it off, she probably just wanted you to know the deal – NSA sex, no relationship. Or she thought you might have a cuckolding fantasy.

Hell no about the cuckolding thing. But comeone, a bar on a sunday in an impersonal hotel catering to businesspeople on travelis is hardly a place to look for a life partner; most propositions are for NSA sex (one of the reasons I was there infact) but would any of you ladies do such a thing?

[Litoris]

Women are just as stupid as men, period. If you weren't interested in NSA sex, you should just say so -- "look, I don't stick my dick in the married" and be done with it. If you were interested, go for it. Me, I find that those who "hunt" while still wearing their rings are a little better than the ones who lie to everyone by taking the ring off, but that's just my HO.

[Stoneburg]

I've slept with a few married women. My reasoning was always that they were the ones doing the cheating, not me. Not sure if that holds water or not but it sure seemed like the correct moral position to have at the time.

And w/r/t cheating, EVERY women I have asked has admitted to doing it, wheres about half of the men I've asked haven't.

[AK84]

I did have a perhaps irrational fear that I might find myself named as a co reposndent in a divorce petition, who knows if the whole thing is a setup. I also don't find it particularly moral. I mean a wedding rings means "hey hands off". But the question remains, why would anyone wear a wedding ring and go hunting, NSA sex wanted or not. Won;t that turn people away?

[tdn]

Originally Posted by AK84

But the question remains, why would anyone wear a wedding ring and go hunting, NSA sex wanted or not. Won;t that turn people away?

No. A lot of women find married men to be irresistable.

[Man With a Cat]

She's not concerned with whether or not it's right or wrong for her to have sex with someone she picks up in a bar, and she's being very plain about the fact that she's not going to hide her married status, which by extension means she's looking for someone else to whom that also doesn't matter.

[KneadToKnow]

I can't believe I'm the first person to mention the possibility of an open marriage.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by KneadToKnow

I can't believe I'm the first person to mention the possibility of an open marriage.

Well, OK, but we have to be honest with each other, darling.

[Clothahump]

Originally Posted by tdn

No. A lot of women find married men to be irresistable.

Back in my younger days, I used to get a reasonable amount of action when I was single. But if I had taken the ladies up on the offers I got when I was married and wearing a ring, the skin on my johnson would have been charred from friction.

What is so special about a married guy to the single wimminz?

[Cat Fight]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

What is so special about a married guy to the single wimminz?

A lot of married men seem comfortable treating attractive women like human beings because they're not sizing them up as potential lovers or girlfriends. It's a nice change for some of them.

Plus there's that whole element of curiosity, that idea, 'Well if some other woman thought he was good enough to marry, he must have something...'

Childish fantasies about being 'the other woman.'

Women who want a lover without all the responsibility or relationship stuff.

Or, in many cases, they don't know the guy is married (or think he's mid-divorce) until they've fallen for him.

[WhyNot]

Is it at all possible that she wasn't out "hunting" but found you personally attractive? I know quite a few women who wear gold bands so they don't get hit on (as much). Maybe she does that, and just forgot she had it on when she unexpectedly found herself attracted to you. I also know one divorced woman who still wears her ring, for reasons I don't quite understand.

Did you ask her if she was married?

[AK84]

^
Yes. Yes she is. Had kids. I spoke to her for a good hour, well she was lovely company. Did not ask about the state of her marriage, because i) it would be rude and ii) I ain't doing it with married women,

I have a friend who sometimes wears her late grandmothers ring to avoid being hit on, but I have been surprised that women seem to be less "restrained" by wedding rings then men.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by AK84

But the question remains, why would anyone wear a wedding ring and go hunting, NSA sex wanted or not. Won;t that turn people away?

We moved to the little town my family lives in in 1972, as Dad got a job here as Personnel Manager in a factory. Most of the workers were women, both in AA-type positions and in Production (they passed the dexterity test better than the men); many were entering the factory at or near the minimum legal working age of 14 (it's higher now). Dad was horrified to discover that quite a few of the single women would specifically chase after any "taken" man: a guy could be wide enough to need double doors, dumber than a retarded virus and a complete fart in the charm department, but if he managed to get a girlfriend the "hunters" would go for him like rockets. Why? To prove that they could, of course: they had no interest in the guy, just in getting their trophy by making him break up with his gf or have a huge public row with the wife (there was no divorce back then, and for infidelity most women wouldn't leave the house: they'd either kick him out or make his life impossible).

[Malacandra]

Originally Posted by tdn

No. A lot of women find married men to be irresistable.

I see you've met my ex-fiancee.

[drastic_quench]

Originally Posted by AK84

I mean a wedding rings means "hey hands off". But the question remains, why would anyone wear a wedding ring and go hunting, NSA sex wanted or not. Won;t that turn people away?

Eh, the promises that come with a wedding ring are between the husband and wife - they don't spill over into the general population. I don't know too many guys that've backed off or shut down the minute they spotted a wedding ring on a gal's hand down at the bar. If anything, they'll tread with caution, but many many married gals in that scenario simply take a little joy in a man making a tasteful pass at them - even if they'd never go through with it, they've got a spring in their step the rest of the day.

I'm with a crowd that appreciates the honestly with which this women conducted her deception. It's so rare and forward to have all those cards on the table, and if anything I'd think more of her for it. Here's a women who chooses only to lie to one man - call it the lesser evil, but there's an ironic integrity there that I dig.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

From a younger man's perspective: I pay pretty much no attention to a ring on the "wedding ring finger" anymore.

A very high percentage of girls I know, have at one time or another, worn a ring on the left ring finger as their way of attempting not to be hit on, single or not.

I have flirted with such girls, gotten phone numbers of, dated and been in serious relationships with girls that all had practiced this, practice.

I pay zero attention to a ring on that finger.

Then again, I am young and so are the girls I'm chatting up, so the possibility of them actually being married is a lot smaller. We'll see if I start paying attention to that ring as I get older.

[WordMan]

Originally Posted by Covered_In_Bees!

I pay zero attention to a ring on that finger.

Dude, if you can work your mojo with women while you're covered in bees, I would say you have gotten way past their marriage status in terms of overcoming obstacles.

[jayjay]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

Back in my younger days, I used to get a reasonable amount of action when I was single. But if I had taken the ladies up on the offers I got when I was married and wearing a ring, the skin on my johnson would have been charred from friction.

What is so special about a married guy to the single wimminz?

It happens to a lot of people. There's even a song from a musical about it...

Originally Posted by The Last Five Years

Everyone tells you that the minute you get married
Every other woman in the world
Suddenly finds you attractive
Well, that's not true
It only affects the kind of women
You always wanted to sleeep with
But they wouldn't give you the time of day before
And now they're banging down your door
And falling to their knees
At least that's what it feels like because you
Can
Not
Touch
Them
In fact, you can't even look at them
Close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes
Except you're sitting there
Eating your corned beef sandwich
And all of a sudden, this pair of breasts walks by
And smiles at you
And you're like "That's not fair!"

[buttonjockey308]

Originally Posted by Mr Bus Guy

She's not concerned with whether or not it's right or wrong for her to have sex with someone she picks up in a bar, and she's being very plain about the fact that she's not going to hide her married status, which by extension means she's looking for someone else to whom that also doesn't matter.

Yep. The question is whether or not you care. If you don't, hit that shit like a car crash. If you do care, say no thanks and move on.

[TruCelt]

Originally Posted by drastic_quench

Eh, the promises that come with a wedding ring are between the husband and wife - they don't spill over into the general population.

I disagree completely. I felt bad for months after I found out that a guy I'd gone to dinner with was married. I found out from another woman in the bathroom of the restaurant, and just left by the side door. I wanted to apologize to the wife but a friend convinced me that since there was no sex, there was no point in telling her. Still wish I'd told her what that scum was up to.

Why? To prove that they could, of course: they had no interest in the guy, just in getting their trophy by making him break up with his gf or have a huge public row with the wife

This is in line with my experience. Though I really don't hang out with the type of women who do this, I have known a few peripherally. They are into the whole competition and status thing. It's this imaginary world where it's hard to get a man to have sex with you, and only those women who are extremely attractive can convince a man to do it with them - more so if he's in a committed relationship. In this universe (which, come to think of it, would make a GREAT comic book genre) if you get a married man to have sex with you then you are de facto more attractive than his wife, and have "Won". These women spend enormous amounts of time on hair and makeup in order to be first in line to be used by some lying SOB at the bar on Saturday night.

It's a sad existence, but then so is any existence based on the achievement of physical sensation.

Bravo AK! It's nice to hear there are still men of integrity out there!

[Cisco]

Originally Posted by KneadToKnow

I can't believe I'm the first person to mention the possibility of an open marriage.

Read the very first response.

[TruCelt]

Also, have you considered the possibility that she was a professional?

[Rigamarole]

She's a grown woman, it's not your responsibility to be looking out for her relationship decisions. Who knows what her situation is - for all you know her husband is gay.

[AK84]

Originally Posted by drastic_quench

I'm with a crowd that appreciates the honestly with which this women conducted her deception. It's so rare and forward to have all those cards on the table, and if anything I'd think more of her for it. Here's a women who chooses only to lie to one man - call it the lesser evil, but there's an ironic integrity there that I dig.

Honesty with which she conducted her deception?

[Lust4Life]

Its not uncommon for "working women" to work London hotels,they tend to be at the upper end of the spectrum of call girls and usually make a connection with a guest and then when it gets close to fun time they reveal that they are businesswomen.

You may be surprised to find that most of the punters dont get upset and walk away because the women themselves are personable,well spoken and intelligent.

If this woman was a WG the ring would be to deter those men looking for a relationship at the very outset to save wasting time(is money).

If you were working at the hotel then this woman would have been someone for real just looking for strings free sex as if you haven't got money then the WGs wont touch you with a bargepole.

Before anyone asks do I/have I enjoyed the company of these women?
The answer is on the pittance I earn most definitely no though I have from time to time passed the time of day with them with both of us knowing that I wasn't a potential customer.