A friend of mine saw this nice looking man in her church.
She made sure to look and see if he was wearing a ring-nope.
She asked around and found out he is married with children.
She thinks its disingenious for a man or woman to go around without a ring.
Its like saying, “I’m free, approach me.”
Personally, this hasn’t come up in my life so i dunno what to think.
Should married people wear a ring in public?
I’m married and don’t wear a ring. I don’t because I have scratched it, lost it, and when I work on things it gets caught. The only other jewelry I wear is a watch and that is only at work.
Also my philosophy is: If you know me well enough to sleep with me, you’ll know I’m married. If you don’t know me well enough, you don’t need to be sleeping with me.
My father hasn’t worn a wedding ring in almost forty (I think) years of marriage to my mother. I think it was more of a situational thing; as a doctor he washes his hands all the freaking time, shoves them in rubber gloves, etc. Wearing a ring would just seem to be more of an occupational hassle than a flirting deterrent. I think the belief that not wearing a ring implies deception and deceit is, to be kind, a little archaic.
me and mine rarely wear rings.
to me, deception would be telling people I am not married, not not wearing rings.
Someone may approach me and act flrty, but believe you me, it won’t get past that.
Hell, I get approached even when I am wearing a ring.
besides, in europe, many people wear rings on their right hand.
I think it just comes down to the fact that people shouldn’t assume anything.
Another non-ring wearer chiming in.
Orthodox Jewery tends to frown on double-ring ceremonies for religious reasons. However, many Orthodox Jewish friends of mine (male) wear a wedding ring given to them by thier wives right after the ceremony.
I don’t wear a ring simply because I don’t wear any jewlery at all (personal choice). If I was a jewlery wearer, my wife would have bought me a ring and I would wear it.
Zev Steinhardt
(we may want to also mention male or female - views may vary. I am male)
Some people just don’t do jewelry. I am not married, and probably never will be, but in such discussions, I’ve always said I have no intention of wearing a ring. The last piece of jewelry I bought for myself was my high school ring - 25 years ago. I own no bracelets, no necklaces, no earrings, and only my HS and grammar school rings. My watch serves a purpose, but even so, it is a plain black plastic digital one. Nothing fancy or decorative. I just don’t do jewelry, ergo, no ring. If you DO usually wear jewelry, I think you should wear it.
I do make exception for people who work with machinery (it can get snagged, shocked, etc), electrical, or maybe surgical gloves (tear gloves).
I rarely wear my engagement or wedding ring anymore. I got out of the habit in my last month of pregnancy (tres uncomfortable) and haven’t put them back on yet. Honestly, it sounds ridiculous to me that anyone would think I’m being deceitful by not wearing a ring. My marital status is noone’s business (unless I’m trying to pursue a romantic relationship with someone, of course) and I have no duty to advertise it one way or the other to total strangers.
My father, who never wore a ring of any kind, had a real fund of stories about guys with rings who somehow got them caught in machinery and had their fingers all ripped off. I heard them all when I was in my Mod Decorative Period back in college, wearing big silver rings with scarabs and things set in them.
I wore a simple platinum wedding band for years, until I lost a buncha weight last year and it started falling off my finger. After finding it on the floor in the laundry I decided it was time to put it away for safe-keeping.
My wife’s also thinner than she used to be, and doesn’t wear her ring, either, for the same reason.
My dad doesn’t usually wear his ring since it was a big hassle at work. Reaching in the machinery and all can be annoying and dangerous. I think he would find the idea that he was being deceitful–and that someone would come on to him at all–pretty amusing.
Not all men like to wear rings, and it wasn’t always customary, either. Not all women do it these days, and they usually have their reasons.
I used to work in a factory environment where we used heavy machinery. Lots of guys would wear their rings on chains around their necks. Not only did it eliminate the wear & tear, it avoided any nasty accidents. (I’ve had my ring get hung on stuff - pretty scary!)
To add to what BNB said, deception would be going on a business trip, then removing your ring before visiting the hotel bar.
DH and I don’t wear our rings, neither of us are jewelry wearers.
I’ve never checked people for rings, not even when I was single. I think I’d prefer to know the person at least enough to find out if they were married before I’d consider dating them
Well, I think your friend reasoning is ridiculous.
My husband has me (a wife) and a child. He only wears his ring on special occasions. He’s not “advertising” and he not trying to act like he’s unburdened. He just doesn’t wear it. He’d never worn a ring, but wanted to get one for our marriage. Then he took up woodworking, and it became impractical (even dangerous) to wear it daily so it never became a habit.
Hell, I don’t wear mine all the time anyway. I don’t even really have a wedding ring, just an engagement ring, and sometimes I’ll take it off and leave it off for a few weeks.
The world is not a meat market, so debating over wearing or not wearing a wedding ring, or a tattoo, leash, or huge sign saying “I’M TAKEN,” strikes me as odd.
However, this church your pal goes to sure sounds interesting. Is there a cover charge? Do women get in free before 11 pm?
In many jobs, wearing a ring symbolizes only that you don’t really want to keep that finger.
To me the wedding ring is a message, and the message is “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, and this ring is a symbol of the ceremony when I first swore that to you.” It’s not a message of “I’m wearing this to fend off other women.” For the first, it’s sufficient to give the ring and wear it during the ceremony, and keep it afterwards; for the second, it’s necessary to wear it full time.
Corr
“Didn’t you learn anything from Frodo Nine-Finger?” --my ex, on workplace safety
The awkwardness with regard to gloves is a good point. My dad is a retired doctor and he never wore a ring during 47 years of marriage. But I think also there’s a cultural tradition against ring-wearing especially for WASPS of his age. Catholics, so I understand, have always had dual-ring weddings, so not wearing rings seems to be an American-Protestant sort of thing, one that carries a lot of inertia even among nonreligious Protestants.
Come to think of it, the anti-ring tradition for men is also in evidence in England, or at least it was if you go by old books. P.G. Wodehouse has a character (in 1910) objecting to another man’s habit of wearing a ring. And Hunter Davies, in his *Authorized Biography Of The Beatles *thought it worth mentioning that Stu Sutcliffe and Astrid Kirchherr both had wedding rings “in the Continental tradition”.
Sorry for the slight hijack…
Just out of curiosity…why do they frown on a double-ring ceremony? And why do some men wear a ring anyway?
The Orthodox Jewery frowns on jewelry… 
sorry, I couldn’t resist. No disrespect intended.
Okay, I’ll go sit in the corner now. Shame on me.
**
Because the marriage is effected by the groom’s giving the wife the ring and her accepting it (it’s after that point that she would need a formal religious divorce to get out of the marriage).
Why can’t the reverse be done during the ceremony too? I’m not certain. It could be because then it’s not apparent to everyone that the couple is married when the ring is given to the bride (my guess). I have known couples who have done it, but most Orthodox rabbis will not officiate at such a ceremony.
**
There’s no law against it. It seems to have become a popular custom in the U.S. (and other parts of the world).
**
Lest you think you were the first one to come up with that, I remember when I was walking near the WTC about two years ago (I work in the area) and I saw fliers hung up on lamp-posts and what not stating that “good Americans” should abandon jewlery because it was a “Jewish invention” and allows “Jews to excersize control over us.” :rolleyes:
Zev Steinhardt
Ring-wearer checking in.
I work in an office setting, so there’s no reason to fear safety issues. And we had a double-ring ceremony… and I like the way it looks on my hand! So I wear it.
That said, I don’t think there’s any dishonesty in a man NOT wearing his ring; any of the rationales advanced above are compelling.
What about wearing a ring if you’re NOT married? Anything terribly deceitful with that?
At the moment, my boyfriend is living some 2000 miles away. I’m constantly on a college campus with thousands of males my own age. I’ve found that instead of explaining my entire romantic history to men that express interest in me, it’s just easier to show them a ring on my left hand.
My husband tried wearing his wedding ring for a while, but he kept losing it. I wore mine for years, but after removing the ring I wore on my right hand due to some irritation under then band, I finally removed the wedding band once when I was kneading dough and never put it back on.
My dad had to remove his years ago because he was working in a steel mill. By the time he was laid off, he couldn’t fit it on his finger anymore. So I’ve never seen a wedding band on my dad.
It certainly isn’t deceptive to not wear a wedding band. If a person is going to cheat, a piece of metal isn’t going to stop them.
“I wore a simple platinum wedding band for years, until I lost a buncha weight last year and it started falling off my finger. After finding it on the floor in the laundry I decided it was time to put it away for safe-keeping.”
—Why am I reminded of Garbo’s line in A Woman of Affairs? “I am like this ring . . . loose, and apt to fall.”
As an old spinster lady, I no longer care who wears what. But 20 years ago, I was one of those pretty, flirty New York Sex and the City girls, and we had words for married men who didn’t wear rings (I dated several of them). But I don’t use that kind of language in public.