Married men without rings

In My Humble Opinion
21

Neither my wife nor I wear wedding rings, although we have two sets of wedding rings. When we decided to get married we bought matching dragon-shaped rings at a SF con, which were the ones we exchanged at the ceremony and consider our “real” rings. We also bought a pair of simple bands for occasions when the dragon rings might have been considered “inappropriate”. I have no recollection of when we stopped wearing them, although I suspect in my wife’s case it had something to do with her arthritis.
Interestingly enough, I used to wear rings on several fingers before I got married, and still have them in a jewelry box somewhere. The last time I looked in it, though, the wedding rings weren’t in there and I’m not sure where they are. I suspect my wife knows where they are; I’ll have to ask her.

As far as the honesty of my not wearing a ring is concerned - if a women ever seemed to be interested in me I would (after questioning her eyesight and sobriety level) inform her that while I appreciate the compliment I wasn’t interested.

22

I don’t wear my wedding band either. I don’t wear my college ring anymore either. And when I get home from work, the first thing I do is take off my watch. In general, I just don’t care for the “feel” of jewelry. I did wear my wedding band for a couple of years after I got married because I guess i felt “I should” for some reason.

I no longer feel that way. Everyone of any importance to me knows I’m married and have a daughter. End of story.

mrs beagledave does wear her ring…but she is a jewelry kinda gal. More power to her.

23

If I was dumb enough to cheat, I’d still be smart enough to take the ring off; not wearing it doesn’t stop me feeling married.

24

We’ve had 2 rings each. I lost my first one when pregnant - I’d put it on my pinkie and it went flying off when I was flinging weeds in the back yard. I’m wearing my second one. Steve’s first one took a hit from a bit of slag when he was welding once - it’s in his jewelry box - and he lost his second one - we think on a business trip.

We’ve been talking about getting new rings, just because we want matching rings again. I think we may shop for some this weekend - just because. I think for us, they’re a symbol, not a brand. Frankly, if neither of us wore them again, it wouldn’t make any difference.

25

My sister couldn’t wear her ring because she works in a hospital and is always scrubbing up (but not for theatre); soap residue under the ring was giving her skin problems, so she stopped wearing it and got a tattoo done in it’s place.

26

I have a friend of mine named Neil who doesn’t wear his wedding ring… he can’t, because his ring finger is gone.

Those two subjects are related, as he tells me that he lost the finger when he jumped from a bus (not realizing that the ring was caught on a flat steel handrail). The jolt cleanly removed his finger from his hand; he says it didn’t even hurt that much at first.

Unfortunately, he was traveling in South America at the time, and there weren’t any medical facilities in the area capable of reattaching a finger. So, his ring finger is gone, although he was able to recover the wedding band.

Both my wife and I wear our wedding rings, but we had deliberately selected flat gold bands so as to minimize the ring profile. At the time we were married, we both worked in industries that required us to use gloves on a daily basis.

BTW, for those of you who’ve lost weight, it’s usually a simple matter to resize a ring. Any competent jewelry shop should be able to do it.

27

When married I wore a wedding ring for awhile but it would hurt like hell when it squashed against my finger when I was picking up something heavy or had to squeeze some hard object or tool tightly. I had to put it away.

28

I always wear my wedding ring. My husband’s profession is not dangerous, nor does it involve rubber gloves, so the only time he takes his off is at the gym when he lifts.

I always wore my engagement ring, no matter whether I was swimming, showering, or scrubbing. We both thought that it was romantic, and he would play-scold me if I took it off even to clean. Then one day while I was folding towels, I felt it catch in the terrycloth- sure enough, the empty prongs were snagging the cloth. My classic but totally unique egg-shaped diamond was gone. :frowning:

29

Neither my wife nor I wear jewelry. I work with my hands a lot, and a ring would get in the way and be dangerous. My wife has never work jewelry. She wanted a practical gift instead, so for our wedding I bought her a new laptop instead of a ring.

False advertising? I’m sufficiently antisocial that it’s never become a problem.

30

Best reason I’ve seen for not doing the ring thing yet. :wink:

Corr

31

Sigh. You people are all so good, and honest, and decent.

My ex wore his late father’s wedding ring as his wedding ring when we got married, but it needed to be sized, so he stopped wearing it a few days later. Then, with his job, he couldn’t wear a ring, and since my dad had never worn his for the same reason, I had no problem with that. But every once in a while he would ask me to go get it sized, but would never actually go to the jeweler. He just expected me to do it, without knowing his ring size, or giving me a measurement. I would insist that he come along, and he never would, so it never got done. (He also wouldn’t shop for shoes…I had to buy them, bring them home, he’d try them on, I’d return them…I quit doing that real quick)

Anyhow, when we got divorced because of his numerous affairs, he said it was so easy to pick up women because he never wore a ring. He also said that if I had just gotten the ring sized like he asked, he would have worn it and he might not have cheated. No, I did not fall for that line o’ crap…but it did confirm his assholishness. The day of our dissolution, after he took me to brunch, I went straight to the closest jeweler and had them cut my rings off my hand…I had not removed them for 16 years, and had grown a little. The rings had scarred my finger, and 7 years later the scar is still visible.

He then gets married to his latest bimbo, uses his Dad’s ring again but gets it sized this time…6 years later she dumps him, and he, bereft and distraught, will not remove his wedding ring, and tells me this, as if I’m going to respect him for being faithful to her. As an aside, when I finally told him I had MY rings cut off, he was shocked…I mean totally stunned…he could not believe I had done that to his “everlasting token of my undying love and respect for you” (his words). He really thought I would wear them forever. Jerk.

But you know what? I look for rings now like I never did before. Many times I’ve met a guy I really thought might be nice to get to know, and then saw a ring. I immediately lose interest, not in the guy as a human being but as a potential date. I’m just that way…I cannot get even mildly intrigued if I know he’s married. Just can’t hurt people like that.

32

I wear my wedding ring every day - my husband doesn’t. He works in the auto industry and is also a guitarist, which hinders his playing. I totally understand and am cool with it. I am still trying to decide if I will wear mine on stage or not.

33

Sadly, too many men do remove their rings or don’t wear them to have liaisons. Yes, rings don’t promise anything… But there are still social issues around wedding rings.

34

This talk of wedding rings reminds me of that scene in Gone With the Wind where Scarlett and Melanie are at a charity dance to raise money for The Cause. A soldier approaches them with a basket full of watches, rings, necklaces, etc., that others have given and asks the women for a donation.

Melanie immediately takes off her wedding band and gently, lovingly, places it in the basket. It’s an incredible (at least to me) gesture, because we know that the ring would have never left her finger otherwise. (Yeah, I know there’s a funny bit immediately after when Scarlett snaps, “You can have my ring, too,” and casually tosses it at the soldier.)

But humor aside, I have never forgotten that scene, and I want to feel like Melanie felt about her ring if and when I’m ever married. I know it’s just a piece of metal, but the fact that it is such a powerful symbol, for me, makes it so much more than just gold or whatever. The ring is something I can have with me always, reminding me of why I decided to spend my life with this particular man every time I look at it or feel it.

I’d want my husband to feel the same about his ring, and his motivation for wearing it all of his life. Honestly? I wouldn’t marry a guy who wouldn’t wear a ring. It’s that important to me.

35

I’m a jewelry-wearer, my husband is not. I would really not mind if he preferred not to wear his wedding ring, but I am glad he does wear it (and he’s a bean-counting kind of guy, so there’s no inherent physical danger). A few years ago, he lost a dramatic amount of weight, and lost his wedding ring somewhere in the yard. It really was no big deal, but we both wanted to replace the ring. So, we were at the Renaissance Faire two years ago and I bought him a gorgeous Celtic knot band. He joked with the shop’s proprietor about making the ring a little loose in case he had to slip it off in a hurry at a convention. I calmly remarked that two finger rings was my limit, and that the next ring I purchased for him was going through his nose.

36

The OP’s friend is nuts. Why should people be obligated to advertise their marital status?

My husband and I wore our rings at first. Then he developed tendinitis in his ring finger so he stopped wearing it. I just find rings sort of uncomfortable–always have. I usually don’t bother to wear mine. If anyone wants to know if we’re married, they can just ask. My folks have been married for 38 years and don’t wear rings, so I suppose I never thought rings were important to a stable marriage.

37

It seems like I had more women flirting with me when I did wear my ring when I was married. Now that I’m divorced I don’t wear a ring and don’t get hit on near as much. …go figure…:confused:

38

I wear my ring all the time, but I think it’s a matter of personal choice. I wouldn’t assume that a married person that chooses not to wear his/her ring is trying to deceive people.

39

I got hit on all the time when I wore my wedding ring. Now I’ve gained some weight, don’t wear a ring, and rarely get hit on.

Go figure.

40

I’m not married or even engaged, but my SO has given me a claddagh ring (he also has one from me) that I only take off in situations where it might come off or get damaged (showers, vigorous exercise, etc).

The ring is not more important than our relationship, but I like what it symbolizes. Of course, not everyone knows what the claddagh means (and it’s not always romantic anyway), so it’s not like it’s an attention-deterrent. I find that a smile and a nice but firm, “No thank you, I’m already taken,” works better.

But I still wear the ring, and I would like for him to wear his, although I would understand if in certain situations (work, exercise) he didn’t.