What's the correct way to deal with this situation (food smells in common areas)?

[Hippy Hollow]

I've been wasting way too much time over at Passive-Aggressive Notes (http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/). But reading one of the notes reminded me of one of the most annoying situations I ever dealt with living in a residence hall with students.

I was a hall director at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, many years ago. I had an apartment with a kitchen there as well. Inevitably I cooked there quite a bit.

Most of the kids in the hall were Inland Empire Californians, with the occasional Southlander or Bay Area resident mixed in. Not much in the way of ethnic diversity. Which isn't an issue per se, but it became relevant.

I'm Black, and on top of that half Jamaican, so curry features prominently in my diet. (Realistically, I'd say I'd make curry one a month or so.) I always tried to run the fan to keep the smell to a minimum. But students would sometimes let me know that the hallway "stunk." Not "smells interesting," but "stunk." (I got to smell stale vomit and sweatsocks on a fairly regular basis but that's another story.) Usually I'd make a comment about "perhaps you're not familiar with other cultural foods" and daydream about punching the kid in the mouth.

Of course the days I baked a ziti I never got complaints. I surmised that your average American youth has pretty limited tastes. If you grilled burgers all the time, no worries. But if you made curry (and my fellow hall director, who was Japanese and also a curry fan) you were "stinky."

Just wondering, what are other people's take on this? If you are of a minority ethnic background or appreciate the food, what do you make of complaints about your food being cooked? I get pretty punchy when people speak disparingly about cultural foods, because... it's culture. I'm amazed that people do this without considering the cultural insensitivity of such comments.

(Personally, the worst food smell I've experienced was in Harvard Square, at The Garage (a little mini-mall). If you walked on Mt. Auburn Street you would get a coffee/tea smell intermingled with a bagel scent. Independently the smells were fine, but together, they made me gag...)

[Lanzy]

Stinking food is just as bad as stinking smoke, stinking pets, stinking people, etc.

If people are complainng you should listen to them and not take the attitude there is something wrong with them for complaining about "your" smells.

[Hippy Hollow]

Well, how do we find a standard of what makes a "stink?" Is it because some kid who's used to smelling hot dogs and meatloaf is smelling something different?

If you walk past a fine dining Indian restaurant - that's exactly what curry smells like. Is that a "stink?"

Personally, I'm repulsed by the smell of boiled eggs, but I would never tell someone eating or preparing them that their food stinks. If you asked me my honest opinion I would.

It strikes me as incredibly culturally and ethnically insensitive to take the approach you propose, Lanzy.

[CrazyCatLady]

There's not an objective standard of "stink" just like there's not an objective standard of "yummy."

Sometimes a person just flat doesn't like a certain smell, no matter how familiar it is. You are, presumably, well familiar with the smell of boiled eggs. The fact that you find the smell repulsive has dick-all to do with the narrowness of your horizons, so it strikes me as smarmy and condescending when you automatically assume that explanation for someone not liking the smell of curry. Insulting someone when they complain about something you're doing is only the correct way to deal with a situation that you want to escalate, not one you want to resolve.

If you really want to resolve this in a civilized way, not just justify using cultural diversity as a free pass to do anything you damn well want and everybody else can just suck it, you ask them if there's anything else you can do to help contain the smell or changes you can make to the recipe to make it not smell as bad to them. Sometimes it's just one ingredient that other people really, really hate. Depending on their response, then you work from there.

And yes, some versions of curry stink like hell. I'm not sure what's in them, but it smells like a cross between a very aged blue cheese and a 3-week-dead goat that's been smeared with patchouli. If the common areas of my home smelled like that on a regular basis, I'm not sure I could refrain from saying something. And I say this as someone who loves curry. Just because something tastes good, that doesn't mean it smells good--fresh grated parmesan is delicious, but it quite frankly smells like old gym socks.

[delphica]

Oddly enough, it's a slow day here and I was reading Passive-Aggressive Notes as well.

We sometimes have this issue at work.

So far, the people who have been successful at navigating this seem to have taken a "killing with kindness" approach. Sort of a "hey, I'm making some food that you might not be familiar with! It's a traditional (ethnicity or country) dish! Gosh, the smell might be a little unusual if you have never experienced it before! I'm going to make some to share and you can all try it and maybe you will like tasting a new thing!"

There is sometimes still low-key grumbling in the future, but it cuts down on the "WTF is that?" commentary somewhat. Because this is student affairs, people will also turn it around by saying (seriously, not sarcastically, although I think it would be hard to pull off outside of higher ed) "Gee, I'm going to be heating up curry today for lunch, so I wanted to give you a heads up so that you could plan around it if you think it might bother you."

In the office, we also have a rule where all food waste -- used paper plates, empty containers, fruit peels, etc -- must be taken out immediately to the garbage chute and not put in the trash can next to your desk. This is because our building has an insect problem ... but the bonus is that it also helps with the smells from all sorts of strong-smelling food. The vermin issue was so bad that now we're all sort of shell-shocked from it and rigorously scold any new people who don't take it seriously at first.

[Hippy Hollow]

Originally Posted by CrazyCatLady

Insulting someone when they complain about something you're doing is only the correct way to deal with a situation that you want to escalate, not one you want to resolve.

I don't think "this hallway stinks" is exactly broaching the topic in a sensitive manner. You make it sound as if someone pleasantly inquired about what's cooking, etc.

If you really want to resolve this in a civilized way, not just justify using cultural diversity as a free pass to do anything you damn well want and everybody else can just suck it, you ask them if there's anything else you can do to help contain the smell or changes you can make to the recipe to make it not smell as bad to them. Sometimes it's just one ingredient that other people really, really hate. Depending on their response, then you work from there.

Well, that would require some familiarity with the ingredients. Someone who proclaims what you're preparing "stinks" doesn't strike me as someone who will say, "Man, you've got a tad too much fenugreek in there."

I'm not an alien. 90% of the stuff I cook is pretty middle American fare. And yes, curry does linger, so as I said I would take precautions (running the fan, boiling an apple and cinnamon, etc.). I still suspect that the attitude that different=bad, gross, smelly, etc. is what's at heart here. I'm in a much more cultural diverse environment here, and I can't imagine that being a problem here in Austin, Texas.

And yes, some versions of curry stink like hell. I'm not sure what's in them, but it smells like a cross between a very aged blue cheese and a 3-week-dead goat that's been smeared with patchouli. If the common areas of my home smelled like that on a regular basis, I'm not sure I could refrain from saying something. And I say this as someone who loves curry. Just because something tastes good, that doesn't mean it smells good--fresh grated parmesan is delicious, but it quite frankly smells like old gym socks.

I don't know what kind of curry it is that you're eating. There's certainly no cheese smell in the curry I prepare. Fenugreek and tumeric are the dominant spices.

[tdn]

I'm not sure that it's cultural at all. Maybe your curry smells delicious, but I know from stink.

When I was a bank teller, the break room at that branch was downstairs. A woman that worked there would sometimes cook up a big pot of what she said was a traditional Chinese dish. It was something like rice, turnips, and liver sausages. Whatever it was, it had a powerful stink that was overwhelming. It would waft upstairs and the entire bank would smell that way for hours.

I'm not sure if it was supposed to smell that way or if she was just a terrible cook, but it was one of the least appetizing smells I have ever encountered. Customers would come in and crinkle their noses and ask if something had died or if we'd just gotten sprayed for bugs or something. When I told them that was someone's lunch, they'd look totally astonished.

That wasn't cultural. It was just plain offensive.

[overlyverbose]

Some curries smell incredibly strong, or, combined with the other scents of standard human living, may smell a tad...yucky. I cook Indian food all the time and, I gotta tell you, sometimes even I cringe a little if I'm too close to the pot. South Indian curries frequently include curry leaves aesofetida powder, which are both quite acrid.

Anyway, my point is that many curries use ingredients in them in small amounts that can really reek. Take fish sauce, for example. It's an absolute necessity if you're making Thai, but that stuff smells like feet.

Additionally, in the U.S., you really don't smell the same smell of human living as you do other places because of our sometimes ridiculous standards of cleanliness. I'm not saying that being clean is bad, but we certainly do go out of our way to eradicate any odor that's not "springtime fresh." You can't watch any daytime TV without seeing commercials for Febreeze.

Either way, I disagree with the OP that it's "cultural insensitivity" that's making people go "Ick." I think it's a combination of really strong ingredients and also the fact that many people have simply become accustomed to extraordinarily sterile-smelling environments.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by overlyverbose

Take fish sauce, for example. It's an absolute necessity if you're making Thai, but that stuff smells like feet.

Looks like somebody needs an anatomy lesson.

[vandal]

Originally Posted by Hippy Hollow

Just wondering, what are other people's take on this? If you are of a minority ethnic background or appreciate the food, what do you make of complaints about your food being cooked? I get pretty punchy when people speak disparingly about cultural foods, because... it's culture. I'm amazed that people do this without considering the cultural insensitivity of such comments.

I think it's pretty rude of you to do that. You know that most of the people in your residence hall can't stand the smell, and yet, you cook it anyway. You really don't see a problem with that?

If I'm in the company of a different culture, I'll do my best to be respectful of their culture. If they think the smell of rib eye steaks is repulsive, then I'm not going to cook it.

[Mahna Mahna]

Why the automatic assumption it's a cultural issue?

There are certain food smells which are both pungent and long-lasting... which is what most people in North America mean by "stinky". I think there's a pretty universal agreement that some things, like boiled cabbage, stinky cheese, curries and salt fish aren't particularly pleasant smells, even to an adventurous eater.

For example - I love me some salt cod... I grew up eating my Portuguese grandmother's food, and thee's little that makes me happier than a freshly made codfish dumpling. That said, I wouldn't ever cook salt cod in a shared space. It's ridiculously stinky stuff, and the smell of it permeates the house for several hours after the cooking is done. Hell, I put up with the smell only because the taste is so darn good, so I have to accept that other folks probably won't be fans... it's just good manners not to subject them to the smell.

Same thing goes with curry. It's delicious stuff, but the smell tends to linger long after the curry is gone... so I make it when I'm home alone (or with an appreciative audience) and don't bring leftovers to work.

[overlyverbose]

Originally Posted by tdn

Looks like somebody needs an anatomy lesson.

*snort* It took me way too long to get this. And even longer to recover from snorting water out my nose while laughing (I was drinking water at the time, not using my nose as a straw).

[Hippy Hollow]

Originally Posted by vandal

I think it's pretty rude of you to do that. You know that most of the people in your residence hall can't stand the smell, and yet, you cook it anyway. You really don't see a problem with that?

If I'm in the company of a different culture, I'll do my best to be respectful of their culture. If they think the smell of rib eye steaks is repulsive, then I'm not going to cook it.

Unlike the students in the residence hall I eat there. I don't have a meal plan, I have a kitchen in which to cook.

Not all of the people can't stand the smell. I can count the people on my hand that complained, and the vast majority never said a word one way or the other. The students that worked did come by for curry, though.

So by this logic, if someone complains to you rudely, you change your eating habits? Listen, if a petition came through signed by a number of residents, fair enough. If a bunch of people complained, sure. But I'm talking about maybe five people commenting on it. I certainly had more than five coming by for a taste. And the "different culture" you refer to I thought included West Indian food. There's Cuban, Caribbean, and Indian restaurants in my town here. Nobody's pan-frying a dog or cracking open a durian.

I have to say I'm pretty surprised at the reaction here. When I was living in the halls as a regular resident at UT Austin, people had all kinds of random foods in their fridges and microwaves. So you would smell Korean food, Mexican food, and yes, curry. I never noticed it one way or the other. Now dirty clothes, sweatsocks, stale beer, and day old vomit - those were the smells that made me ill.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by overlyverbose

*snort* It took me way too long to get this. And even longer to recover from snorting water out my nose while laughing (I was drinking water at the time, not using my nose as a straw).

Hey, I like that smell.

[amarinth]

I wouldn't be surprised if some of it were cultural - but I also would hesitate to say that it was entirely cultural.

In my previous office, which was multi-cultural, multi-ethnic, and filled with people who enjoyed a wide variety of foods from different parts of the world, the two stinky food problems that ended up requiring HR intervention were microwaved fish and burnt popcorn. Neither of them is exotic by any stretch of the word. But both smells stink and linger. There are other smells that do the same.

Of course, we weren't there, we don't know the students who complained, and we don't have the benefit of seeing how they reacted to other things that were outside of their culture - so, it could be that this is one of the many ways those particular students were cultural dolts. Or it could be that the curry in question stunk.

[elfkin477]

I don't think it's cultural. As Amerarinth said, fish and (burnt) popcorn are standard American fare, and most folks rightly agree that people who cook them at work should be beaten with sticks. I'm not sure I'd immediately recoginize the smell of curry, but if it's as bad a microwaved fish...

[Sticks and Scones]

I spent two years dealing with nausea everyday. Now, a year later, some smells still bother me to the point of wanting to run and hurl in the very nearest bathroom. Some people just have a more sensitive sense of smell than others. What is cultural about that?

It sounds like you think it's their fault that the food stinks to them. How can I control the revulsion that I feel when I smell freshly brewed coffee? I mean, perhaps the people are lacking tact, but that has nothing to do with what country your cuisine originated in.

[Dangerosa]

I think people should be able to live with curry once a month (curry doesn't "stink" to me - but my husband fries an egg in the morning some mornings, and the smell makes me gag). They should also understand you are taking steps to keep the smell reasonable, and complain in a fashion that is grown up. But then - this is dorm life - you don't really expect grown ups in a dorm. On the other hand, you expect in dorm communal living to have to put up with all sorts of stuff that is higher on the scale of offense than curry - roommates who don't know what a laundry hamper is (or the laundry), roommates who think that a room meant for two can reasonably house their girlfriend - who they like to have sex with whenever you need to study or sleep, the less than pleasant smell of pot being inadequately covered up with patchouli. Someone who has discovered bad 70s metal or 80s punk and feels the need to expand your musical taste. The aforementioned trip to the bathroom to find that someone has discovered that too much tequila leads to projectile vomiting.

[JKilez]

Originally Posted by elfkin477

I don't think it's cultural. As Amerarinth said, fish and (burnt) popcorn are standard American fare, and most folks rightly agree that people who cook them at work should be beaten with sticks. I'm not sure I'd immediately recoginize the smell of curry, but if it's as bad a microwaved fish...

I agree with elfkin477's agreement. Some smells are just more fragrant and tend to linger longer, fish and microwave popcorn being two great examples. Hell, I have had people say that my house stank when making bagels. It was in no way related to cultural insensitivity, but more of an honest appraisal of what happens when you work with large amounts of barley malt, yeast, and boiling water. Your kitchen ends up smelling like Milwaukee.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Your right to enjoy a sensual experience ends where it affects someone else's enjoyment of a common area. That is, I enjoy hard rock. I don't have the right to turn it up so loud that my neighbors hear it, whether they want to or not. If someone says that a food item is stinky, then quite likely it is affecting other people, too, and not in an enjoyable way. Ziti doesn't have the olfactory power that curry does.

After all, nobody is actually justifying anyone's right to vomit or have dirty laundry when it affects the smell of the common areas. Yes, it happens, but the offender should take steps to remedy it.

When we live in a communal area, that means that we have to make adjustments in what we, personally, would prefer to do. If you want to make strong-smelling food, then you should find a place to live, or at least to cook, where people aren't going to be offended by it. Perhaps you and your fellow curry eaters could rent a house together, and then all of you could regularly enjoy curry. But if you are aware that your habits are causing distress to other people, and you don't change your habits, I'd call that the definition of a jerk.

[Hazle Weatherfield]

The following are things I love to eat, but would never prepare in a common room because of the smell: cooked cabbage, any kind of fish, microwave popcorn, curry... Nothing to do with ethnicity, it all just pretty much reeks. Hell, I love peanut butter, but I can't stand the smell of it when someone else is eating it!.

[Hippy Hollow]

FFS, I don't think half of the respondents to this thread read the OP. To recap:

1) Food was cooked in an apartment with cooking facilities, not a common living area.
2) Food was prepared correctly (so no, the burnt popcorn analogy doesn't mesh - it smells because it's been prepped incorrectly).
3) I took proper actions to do my best to make sure the aroma didn't waft around the hall - open windows, running a fan, boiling an apple and cinnamon stick afterwards.
4) I didn't prepare a curry very often a) because it takes a bit of work and b) the possibility that it might bother some people. However, in the course of living in this apartment for two years, I did it a few times.
5) The issue I'm raising is not so much that other folks (as I've noted, a small number) didn't necessarily like the aroma. It's that their unfamiliarity with it was conveyed quite rudely - it "stinks." As I also noted, a number of folks stopped by to try (and in some cases, even request) curry. The favorable comments far outweigh the negative. The point is, the negative tended to be framed in an offensive manner.

The reason why I suspect there is a cultural bias going on is that I seriously doubt someone would complain about the smell of burgers, for instance - we had open pits and anyone could go out there and grill. So charcoal and burning cow flesh could be smelled all summer long. I certainly don't believe that everyone necessarily enjoyed the aroma (I did for the most part - I love burgers), but it seems that there is a tolerance for culturally familiar aromas with some people, and a rejection of those unfamiliar.

Again I ask the question - taking the measures I took, are others saying if someone told you your food stunk, would you stop eating/preparing it?

This is the point I was more or less trying to make:

Originally Posted by Peggy MacIntosh, "Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack"

I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.

If you live in a culturally diverse environment, I suspect you have smelled curry, know what it is, and while you might not love it, be able to a) tolerate the aroma momentarily or b) if it bothers you, find a respectful way to raise your concern if it really is so irksome.

Dangerosa seems to be getting what I'm saying.

[overlyverbose]

Could you give more details on how they said "it stinks" or is it truly the fact that they think it stinks at all what's bothering you?

[Rubystreak]

Originally Posted by Hippy Hollow

Again I ask the question - taking the measures I took, are others saying if someone told you your food stunk, would you stop eating/preparing it?

I think I would be irritated if people told me that food that I loved, that was from my culture, and which I was just about to eat, stunk. There are much more polite, effective ways to tell someone that the scent of their food bothers you, if in fact that is what they were trying to say. Were they saying it really bothered them, as in, it was pervasive and lingering, or just that they didn't like it? If the latter, they are simply being rude. If they were truly bothered, they could still be more diplomatic than that. I have always thought it was extremely rude to make derogatory comments about someone else's food, esp. while they are cooking/eating it. Having endured this as a vegetarian many times, I find it alienating for reasons similar to Hippy Hollow's.

[sugar and spice]

Originally Posted by Hippy Hollow

Again I ask the question - taking the measures I took, are others saying if someone told you your food stunk, would you stop eating/preparing it?

If I were living in a dorm as part of the residence hall staff, yeah, I would stop cooking certain foods if I got multiple complaints from the students every time I made it. The residence hall staff is there because of the students, they or their parents are paying money for them to live there, and, IMHO, the staff owes them extra consideration above what would be owed your neighbors in typical city apartment building.

If I felt this were some flawed cultural bias going on then I might try to get students to warm up to something new -- hosting dinner, a cooking class, etc. Just telling them tough shit while dreaming of punching them in the mouth probably isn't going to fix anyone's narrow-minded intolerance for the smell of curry.

That said, if we were talking about a normal apartment building then cooking curry once a month seems to be perfectly within reason, just so long as you don't expect any extra consideration when your neighbor has their monthly Rock Band party or whatever.

[Hippy Hollow]

Originally Posted by overlyverbose

Could you give more details on how they said "it stinks" or is it truly the fact that they think it stinks at all what's bothering you?

No, it's anyone's prerogative to find that something stinks, and highly subjective. As I've said upthread, if I had my druthers boiled eggs would be banned from the face of the earth. But they're popular foods, and I suck it up when I'm around the smell. Don't boil one in my house, though.

The interaction I remember was like this. I was walking out of my hall entrance (which I generally hated doing) and someone came up behind me and said, "Dude, what are you making in there? It reeks!" Shit like that. It may have been a joke but I didn't take it that way. Again, it's my belief that it was more "hey, that's a different smell than I'm used to, ergo it stinks" than "that fenugreek is really making my nose hairs tingle, could you do something about it?"

Originally Posted by Rubystreak

I think I would be irritated if people told me that food that I loved, that was from my culture, and which I was just about to eat, stunk. There are much more polite, effective ways to tell someone that the scent of their food bothers you, if in fact that is what they were trying to say. Were they saying it really bothered them, as in, it was pervasive and lingering, or just that they didn't like it? If the latter, they are simply being rude. If they were truly bothered, they could still be more diplomatic than that. I have always thought it was extremely rude to make derogatory comments about someone else's food, esp. while they are cooking/eating it. Having endured this as a vegetarian many times, I find it alienating for reasons similar to Hippy Hollow's.

You got it, thanks Rubystreak.

Originally Posted by sugar and spice

f I were living in a dorm as part of the residence hall staff, yeah, I would stop cooking certain foods if I got multiple complaints from the students every time I made it. The residence hall staff is there because of the students, they or their parents are paying money for them to live there, and, IMHO, the staff owes them extra consideration above what would be owed your neighbors in typical city apartment building.

I disagree with this. First, again I ask you, if someone complained in a fairly undiplomatic manner about something you cooked - let's say burgers - you'd stop? Living in a res hall, which I did as a staff member for about 8 years, is not like living in a hotel. There is a certain amount of give and take needed. We have to collectively tolerate the smell of stale booze because some folks bring alcohol back to the dorms. You have to be able to tolerate your neighbor's penchant for playing Candlebox all day if they're turned it down to a reasonable level, and you just think they suck (true story, I had a 62 year old resident next door to two freshmen... and I sided with them. They played it on a "3" on their stereo, barely audible from outside the door).

Indeed, it's in res halls where you learn the accommodations that are reasonable to expect with communal living, so you can live in an apartment complex and not be a complete jackass. The hall staffs I worked with, at five different universities, had the same stance: our job is to help you live and learn in a safe environment. Sometimes that means you have to deal with things a little different that you'd like (a roommate that has different sleeping/studying styles than you do, neighbors who like country music while you hate it, etc.). That's part of the learning.

If I felt this were some flawed cultural bias going on then I might try to get students to warm up to something new -- hosting dinner, a cooking class, etc. Just telling them tough shit while dreaming of punching them in the mouth probably isn't going to fix anyone's narrow-minded intolerance for the smell of curry.

Well, guess what I made at our semiannual hall potluck? Education was part of my job... so at times it didn't bother me. But it is something of a burden to have to be "educator" all the time. Why isn't it the responsibility of intolerant people to educate themselves? Ask questions respectfully, etc.

That said, if we were talking about a normal apartment building then cooking curry once a month seems to be perfectly within reason, just so long as you don't expect any extra consideration when your neighbor has their monthly Rock Band party or whatever.

Agreed, only that I'd extend that to the residence hall as well, where a RB party is perfectly acceptable outside of quiet hours.

[sugar and spice]

Originally Posted by Hippy Hollow

I disagree with this. First, again I ask you, if someone complained in a fairly undiplomatic manner about something you cooked - let's say burgers - you'd stop?

One person, no. Multiple people, every time I cooked it, yes. As I said in my last post.

[Hippy Hollow]

Originally Posted by sugar and spice

One person, no. Multiple people, every time I cooked it, yes. As I said in my last post.

Let's say three complaints, and essentially every kid on staff, desk workers, and kids of South Asian descent, about 20 I'd say, who would come by and ask for a taste.

[Hockey Monkey]

I can't stand the smell of curry, but my problem with curry would be a small one if the odor didn't linger. My upstairs neighbor makes it once a month or so and as soon as I open my car door, I can smell it when she's cooking it - with all of her windows closed! Thankfully it doesn't permeate into my apartment, but I can smell it when I go outside for 3 days or more. (I have a very sensitve smeller since I quit smoking.)

But I've never once complained. If I could smell it in my apartment at all I probably would say something. I wouldn't say that this is a cultural bias on my part at all. I'm Southern and hate the smell of collards too.

[sugar and spice]

Originally Posted by Hippy Hollow

Let's say three complaints, and essentially every kid on staff, desk workers, and kids of South Asian descent, about 20 I'd say, who would come by and ask for a taste.

i'm not even sure if you're asking me specifically, but no that would not change me mind. if 3 people complain then there are probably at least 10 who are annoyed but are too polite to say anything.

[Rigamarole]

It really has nothing to do with "cultural insensitivity". If someone thinks a certain odor stinks, it stinks. Doesn't matter what culture it comes from.

[Guinastasia]

I don't see how curry compares to burgers, because doesn't curry smell very strong? And the scent tends to linger?


Dude, don't ask for advice, then dismiss it when it's not what you wanted to hear.

[Rubystreak]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

It really has nothing to do with "cultural insensitivity". If someone thinks a certain odor stinks, it stinks. Doesn't matter what culture it comes from.

You can think something stinks, but if you're not a rude jerk, you can express that sentiment in a more constructive, kind way. Or not express it at all, if it's not a lingering or pervasive odor that offends you, but merely something in passing that you dislike.

[Nzinga, Seated]

Yeah. Imma go with 'don't express it at all'.

I have smelled some interesting smells waft into my apt., but it would really have to be a strong ass persistant odor, on a regular basis for me to ever complain, and even then, I couldn't imagine being rude about it.

But I am extremely tolerant about all kinds of apartment living issues. Even noisy parties get a pass from me. I'm always thinking, even if it is late and I gotta go to work in the morning, give them a fucking break. It's not like they have a party every day.

Full disclosure, I lovessss me some cur-ray!

[Hippy Hollow]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

I don't see how curry compares to burgers, because doesn't curry smell very strong? And the scent tends to linger?


Dude, don't ask for advice, then dismiss it when it's not what you wanted to hear.

Ever smelled burned burgers on an open grill? Charcoal/meat lingers, especially if it gets into fabric.

I'm not asking for advice either, I'm asking how others would have handled it. Event took place years ago. Did you read the OP?

[Blue Mood]

I think cooking it once a month or so is not unreasonable. But I don't think it's fair to blame the smell on lack of cultural awareness. The stale smell of old cooked curry stinks. Especially if Basmati rice was cooked alongside. The smell of chargrilled burgers is appetizing. In Thailand the durian fruit is so stenchworthy that it's forbidden in many public places, but people still love to eat it. Perceiving something as being stinky and being culturally aware are not mutually exclusive.

[Hippy Hollow]

Originally Posted by Blue Mood

I think cooking it once a month or so is not unreasonable. But I don't think it's fair to blame the smell on lack of cultural awareness. The stale smell of old cooked curry stinks.

Well, that's certainly one perspective. Is it the only one?

The smell of chargrilled burgers is appetizing.

I suspect if you're vegetarian, or from a place where cows aren't eaten for food, you might feel differently.

And durian... hell, there are plenty of people in Thailand that think durian has an offensive odor. Hardly the same thing.

[Blue Mood]

Why don't you want to accept that some odors are generally less appealing than others? As you point out, boiled eggs stink. So do certain cheeses. And so does the stale smells of having cooked curry. Of course not every person think these smell objectionable, and certainly people still enjoy eating the foods. But the smell of cooking curry is not the same as the smell of bread baking. Does that mean you should avoid cooking curry? Of course not. Does it mean you should allow that some people may say it stinks because to them it smells bad and NOT because they are culturally unaware? Absolutely.

[Lynn Bodoni]

I'm going to say that if a cooking odor can be smelled OUTSIDE YOUR APARTMENT, and multiple people have complained about it, then it's offending many others. Maybe some people don't mind it, or want a taste. But for every person who complained, I'm willing to bet that there were many more who hated the smell, thought you were a jerk for inflicting it on them, and didn't complain to you because they thought you could retaliate, as you were on the staff.

[sandra_nz]

I'm the sort of person who doesn't want to rock the boat in communal situations like this, so to answer your question:

taking the measures I took, are others saying if someone told you your food stunk, would you stop eating/preparing it?

Yes I would. I'd save preparing my 'smelly food' for times when the students weren't there, and I'd get my 'fix' by eating it at restaurants instead.

An example without the potential cultural issue would be tuna. I love tuna salad for lunch, but I'm aware it has a strong smell, so I would never bring it in for lunch to a workplace. Same with eggs in salad.

[SmashTheState]

You're cooking food in an area designed for food preparation, in the place where you live. If they don't like it, tell them to fuck off and breathe through their pointy white hats. Then buy and eat a durian so they know what real stink is.

[Kalhoun]

I think everyone is entitled to determine for themselves if something stinks. I also think they were rude to tell you it stinks. They need to suck it up. There's no law that says you are entitled to live a life free from unpleasant odors. I think that's the price you pay for sharing walls with others. I give a little more bitch-leeway to office cooking, since you don't actually live there. But in your place of residence, you should be able to cook what you want to cook.

We're not talking about a toxic cloud here. It's a fragrance that some people like less than others. Back in my apartment-dweller days, I was much more bothered by my neighbor's garbage habits (leaving the bag in the hall until they went out to their car the following morning...and the roaches that follow that habit) than I was about their cooking habits.

[MsRobyn]

First of all, cooking burgers on an outside grill isn't the same as cooking curry in a relatively closed environment, even with the fan on and apple and cinnamon cooking. In fact, if I had to hazard a guess, perhaps people thought the smell of apple and cinnamon didn't really go with the curry, so they were reacting to both mixed together.

Second, it may be your kitchen in your apartment, but as others have said upthread, your right to cook whatever you want ends with the right of other people not to have what they perceive to be unpleasant smells in their living area. Perhaps you could have found some middle ground and made your curry at a friend's off-campus apartment.

So I don't think it's a cultural issue. I think you just had some tactless people telling you something you didn't want to hear and forced them to suck it up against their will. Which, to me, is the equivalent of punching them in the face.

[overlyverbose]

Originally Posted by Hippy Hollow

No, it's anyone's prerogative to find that something stinks, and highly subjective. As I've said upthread, if I had my druthers boiled eggs would be banned from the face of the earth. But they're popular foods, and I suck it up when I'm around the smell. Don't boil one in my house, though.

The interaction I remember was like this. I was walking out of my hall entrance (which I generally hated doing) and someone came up behind me and said, "Dude, what are you making in there? It reeks!" Shit like that. It may have been a joke but I didn't take it that way. Again, it's my belief that it was more "hey, that's a different smell than I'm used to, ergo it stinks" than "that fenugreek is really making my nose hairs tingle, could you do something about it?"

In that case, I think you're probably just living around extremely vocal assholes, but not necessarily culturally-biased assholes. (For some reason, I can't stop thinking of Spaceballs right now - "I'm surrounded by assholes!") It's good that you do try to limit the amount of times you cook curry, and they definitely could have approached it better. But I suspect if they're that vocal about the scent of curry, they'd probably be equally vocal about anything else they don't like, regardess of how common it might be.

[Dangerosa]

Originally Posted by MsRobyn

First of all, cooking burgers on an outside grill isn't the same as cooking curry in a relatively closed environment, even with the fan on and apple and cinnamon cooking. In fact, if I had to hazard a guess, perhaps people thought the smell of apple and cinnamon didn't really go with the curry, so they were reacting to both mixed together.

Second, it may be your kitchen in your apartment, but as others have said upthread, your right to cook whatever you want ends with the right of other people not to have what they perceive to be unpleasant smells in their living area. Perhaps you could have found some middle ground and made your curry at a friend's off-campus apartment.

So I don't think it's a cultural issue. I think you just had some tactless people telling you something you didn't want to hear and forced them to suck it up against their will. Which, to me, is the equivalent of punching them in the face.

I don't know. If your neighbors don't like the tree you planted in front of your house, you probably force them to suck it up against their will - and I bet you don't think its the equivalent of punching them in the face.

My neighbors planted a row of evergreens right near the property line. I don't like evergreens. These are going to block my view and kill my grass (and he is doing that horrible trim them up from the bottom thing, which really means I'm going to have lousy looking grass under those damn trees). But you know what - I'll suck it up because although its in my view, its on their property. And I won't consider it the equivalent of them punching me in the face.

Another neighbor took up woodworking in his garage. The squeel of a bandsaw cuts through the neighborhood when he is working in there - even with closed doors and windows. I'd rather not listen to it, but he does it at reasonable hours - its his hobby and he is doing it in his own garage.

[Motorgirl]

Originally Posted by Hippy Hollow

(Personally, the worst food smell I've experienced was in Harvard Square, at The Garage (a little mini-mall). If you walked on Mt. Auburn Street you would get a coffee/tea smell intermingled with a bagel scent. Independently the smells were fine, but together, they made me gag...)

One of the worst food smells I encounter on a regular basis is on the other side of the Garage, on Dunster St. The bilge that leaks out of the John Harvard's dumpsters smells like the rapidly-souring leftovers of their brewing process with a little rotten food leftovers thrown in. Nasty! And I like the viable end-result of their brewing process!

[Bricker]

I love Limburger. Hell, I love Époisses de Bourgogne, a cheese so stinky that it was once banned from public transportation in France due to its odor.

But apparently I can just claim "It's cultural!" now, and everyone else will have to suck it up.

Outstanding.

[Anaamika]

I don't know. I'm all for banning any strong-smelling food from the workplace, but this is where the OP lived, and it was an apartment. What about Indian folks, are they just supposed to stop cooking completely? They're not about to make hamburgers and french fries. And yes, I've heard plenty of stuff about how all Indians reek. And I have heard people claim that Indian people should stop cooking their own food when living in an apartment. Bwuh?

FTR, the first time I smelled ground beef frying in a pan, it made me want to throw up. Now, thirteen years later? It makes me hungry. So certainly "American" food can reek, too.

I think it's quite rude when people walk up to you and tell you something stinks. The OP was making every effort to be nice about it, what more can you do?

And Bricker, of course you should be able to eat that stuff - at home. Don't bring it into the office, though.

[TruCelt]

The civilized response is to complain to the facilities management about the lack of proper venting inthe cooking area. The prevalence of "self-contained" hood units in apartment buildings is a big part of the problem. Once upon a time the fans in kitchens and bathrooms vented to an outside wall or out the roof, thus actually removing smoke and bad smells.

Most apartments will eventually do something about it if everyone makes them aware each time it happens.

As an Irish girl, I have to say I also make the occasional curry (very mild coriander curries, but still) and cabbage as well. Cabbage smells turn really sour the next morning, so I'm quite careful to open the windows whenever I cook it.

[Gary "Wombat" Robson]

Better ventilation is good. Courtesy is good. But people also need to meet in the middle.

Personally, I love the smell of fresh popcorn, but I stopped making it where I used to work because several people complained very loudly. I hate the smell of coffee, but I was one of very few non-coffee-drinkers in the building, so I just closed my door and made a cup of strong-smelling tea whenever there was a fresh pot of coffee brewing.

I wish they'd been reasonable enough to say they'd put up with my popcorn if I put up with their coffee, but they weren't and it wasn't worth the fight.

Originally Posted by TruCelt

Once upon a time the fans in kitchens and bathrooms vented to an outside wall or out the roof, thus actually removing smoke and bad smells.

No, it doesn't remove the smell -- it spreads it out over a larger area. As mentioned above, I absolutely detest the smell of coffee. There's a roastery just down the street from my store, and when they're roasting, a three-block area downtown really stinks. I've even heard people who like coffee complain about it. I wish they had a self-contained unit so it only stunk up the coffeehouse, which presumably contains people who wouldn't mind the smell so much.