About 2 months ago, I started using Instead disposable menstrual cups. I’ve gotten used to all the extra hands-on required for insertion and removal, and I find that once they’re in properly I can’t feel them. Meanwhile, I’ve seen mention in passing–never with many details, alas–that they can be used during intercourse. Mr. SP has thus far been uncharacteristically unenthusiastic about exploring this option, citing fears that leakage may occur or that the cup might get “pushed too high up”. Can I get some testimonials from anyone who has had sex while wearing/had sex with someone who was wearing a menstrual cup? Could you tell it was there? Were there any issues regarding leakage? And, for God’s sake, did it get pushed too high up!?!
I’ve used them during sex and my partner could feel it, though he only mentioned it after the fact when I mentioned I’d had one in. It didn’t seem to affect his enjoyment at all. It was slightly annoying for me, so I’d probably go for towels and blood-related jokes in the future.
Pushing anything too far up you – beyond the point of retrieval – is unlikely to occur, especially if you’ve poked around up there already (which you have likely done already if you’re using these cups). They can leak, but probably won’t if it’s in properly and not due to be changed. But don’t take it from an anonymous internet-er, tell the Mister it’s a fun experiment and try it out.
it can’t get pushed too far up that Mr. SP couldn’t reach it.
Sex with an Instead cup should work fine, if it fits you well and is inserted correctly. It’s not going to get pushed “too high up”. If it’s inserted properly, it’s already sitting right over your cervix behind the pubic bone, there’s not really a whole lot of “higher up” than that. I personally haven’t had any luck with them (living proof that one size does not fit all), but if you’re able to use them successfully for their intended purpose, then they probably fit you well enough that you can have sex with one in.
There IS the possibility of shifting and leakage if it’s already somewhat full, but that’s easily solved by inserting a fresh one before intercourse.
Instead is shaped roughly like a diaphragm, so it should work fine with sex. It can’t get pushed up too far because it’s a giant cuplike arrangement that’s covering your entire cervix - it’s not shaped or positioned in a way it could get jammed into your uterus, if that’s what he’s worried about. If you have it inserted properly, it’s already as up as it’s going to get.
I suspect he’s one of those men who is freaked out by menstruation, and is looking for an excuse not to do it during that time. Who really cares if leakage occurs - just do it on a towel.
(BTW, I’m not the only one who got a funny mental image reading the thread title, am I?)
Due diligence: The directions say you’re not supposed to do it. Always follow the label directions.
Perhaps you haven’t seen too many details because there aren’t that many details to discuss. Insert. Have sex. Remove. That’s it.
It works fine for me. I think I only experienced minor leakage once. My partner couldn’t really feel it. He uses condoms, so maybe that makes a difference. It never shifted position. I’d only bother with it on heavy-flow days anyway.
Seems that way, doesn’t it?
No, you’re not. 
I have presumed for many decades that *most *of the "do not"s in *most *instructions were there for legal reasons.
Of course. But I thought we would be remiss in not noting that the directions specifically advise against doing this. I’ve obviously done it myself, and intend to keep doing so in the future.
It might be on the packaging, but their website reads
I wonder if they do get people assuming it’ll work as a cervical cup or diaphragm-type contraceptive device. Stranger things have happened.
ETA Just realized Instead isn’t the only menstrual cup available. Oops.
I’ve tried it twice. The first time he couldn’t feel it and the second time we got about 4 seconds into it before he started screaming, “Ow! Ow! What the hell is up there, teeth?”
We haven’t tried it again since.
It was on the paper inside the box of Instead that I have. Maybe they changed it. I looked for it specifically to see if it was okay to have sex with the darn thing in. It said no. I did it anyway.
You sex rebel. 
Ah, you may have discovered Mr SP’s true, secret fear.
Thanks for sharing, ya’ll!
My ex-husband and I tried it and it was not good. Like pbbth, he said that not only could he feel it, it hurt. I’m guessing that the ring sat on more of an angle, so he ended up feeling the edge of the firmer plastic ring, instead of the softer plastic of the cup. I guess that’s why diaphragms have nice rounded edges for the ring.
We did not try again, so I can’t be sure that it wasn’t an insertion problem, but it didn’t leak.
I just have to say that I first parsed this as ‘it can’t get pushed too far up**.** That Mr. SP couldn’t reach it’ and then I was like “aww SNAP!”
Leave cup in, have oral sex. Problem solved.
If he didn’t use a condom, wouldn’t there be fluid nastiness on both sides of the cup afterwords?
I don’t have a menstrual cup but isn’t it supposed to be just inside the vagina, making it pretty much impossible to have sex with it in? Or is it up against the cervix like a diaphragm?
The Instead cups look pretty much like a diaphragm, and they fit up by the cervix.
Other types, like the Diva cups, sit lower, so yeah, you couldn’t really have intercourse with one of those in.
Would that still qualify someone for their red wings?
Enjoy,
Steven