Round two is over. Chuck Norris, Dirty Harry and Conan the Barbarian are all among the losers. The victors advance to round three.
The goal is to determine the ultimate badass of all media. The rules are the same: vote for the bigger badass in each match up. I’ll tally the results on Thursday night. Explaining your decision is always entertaining, but never mandatory.
Batman
vs.
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
The Terminator
Gandalf the White
vs.
James Bond
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
I think this one comes down to gadgets. Technically, Motoko is a gadget, but Batman’s got versatility on his side. The Dark Knight takes this one via something he whips up in the bat cave.
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
The Terminator
He’s an unstoppable killing machine from the future, but does he have a limit break? I don’t think so. Round goes to Sephiroth.
Gandalf the White
vs.
James Bond
Gandalf stops to invoke the entire geneology of the elven race. Bond shoots him three times in the chest. Unfortunately, the previous match showed that bullets are largely ineffective against maiar. Gandalf advances to the semi-finals.
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
Brock Samson wins this one in a fight that is both shockingly violent and deeply psychologically scarring.
Only if he’s prepared :rolleyes: Man I hate that meme. But I’ll still go the Bats.
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs. The Terminator
Never played any final fantasy, but what part of “unstoppable killing machine” don’t you get
Gandalf the White
vs. James Bond
Tight one, if we’re talking Daniel Craig Bond, I’d go him. In fact I want to vote for him to see a Daniel Craig ‘Bond’ v Jason Bourne match up - that would be a nasty and brutal fight.
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs. Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
I’d go with The Major. Batman’s refusal to kill would certainly work against him here.
Abstain. I don’t know enough about Sephiroth to answer.
Depends: If we’re talking about the James Bond with all the crazy gadgets, Gandalf would probably be able to nullify them somehow, then blast Bond with a fireball. If we’re talking about the James Bond from the Ian Flemming novels, then Gandalf would be full of bullet holes before he even knew what was happening.
On preview: Gandalf is Immune to bullets? I call BS on that. Edit: Or, rather, I refuse to apply it to my own answer.
No offense to the anime fans–this seems like a great character–but he’s Batman, for crying out loud. He finds a way to win.
Final Fantasy isn’t my thing, but this cat looks legit. I take Sephiroth.
Bond is one hell of a character, but he approaches death in practically every movie, novel, or short story. If it came down to it, Gandalf wouldn’t tie him up and tell him the grand plan to whup the orcs–he’d just off the dude and have done with it. Gandalf takes this one.
For those of you who haven’t seen The Venture Brothers, I suggest you remedy the situation immediately. Brock decapitates Bourne and defecates down his neck.
Motoko. Both are very intelligent, resourceful people, but Motoko is intelligent, resourceful, AND has a body that makes batmans gadgets look like tinkertoys.
One on one, Sephiroth would win. But theres more terminators out there. LOTS more. Terminator wins, through sheer attrition. Plus Sephy got his ass handed to him in a high hat by a whiny kid.
Wishy-washy Gandalf the Grey may have given Bond the easy escape he needs to regroup, resupply, and come out on top with the aid of a buxom lass, but Gandalf the White is made of sterner stuff, and will finish the job the first time, no second chances or elaborate death traps.
Super secret special agent killing machine vs super secret special agent killing machine…
I’m going with brock. Yes, he’s more vicious, more bloodthirsty, but he enjoys killing, he wants it more, he won’t hesitate at all. Plus hes got a big ass knife, and he knows how to use it.
Batman, still not sure who the other person is so they cant be THAT badass.
Sephiroth, he can destroy whole planets, the terminator has a hard time hunting down an 80’s stereotypical damsel in distress.
Bond, every time. Gandalf is a meddler, decidedly not bad ass. And that “You shall not Pass!!” That was a little bad ass, but that’s never stopped Bond before.
Brock Sampson, heres a guy who’s fantasy is slaying ninjas and cowboys with flamethrowers riding on Tyrannosauruses. It doesn’t really get more bad ass than that.
Kusanagi, no question about it–basically she pulls all the batman tricks anyway, but she’s also a practically unkillable cyborg war machine.
Sephiroth, as previous media have proven that Terminators are vulnerable to slashing damage and that Sephiroth takes a whole lot more killing than is easily anticipated.
James Bond on the third matchup, since double-taps are faster than chanting.
Brock Sampson is basically just animated, tougher Jason Bourne, so we’ll go with him.
Batman - He took down SUPERMAN. A little cyborg wouldn’t even make him break a sweat.
Sephiroth - again, the cyborg can’t hang
James Bond - Same as before - Gandalf- White or Gray - is too kindhearted to be a “Badass”. Yes, he may have combat skills, but he is not a hardcore redass.
Jason Bourne - Being amnesiac and STILL being a badass gets it in my book
I know Bats will win this on popularity alone, but I’m pulling for the major. She’s tough enough to win, and frankly I’m getting sick of batman and that damn “if he’s prepared” line. As Superman said, “You’re just bone and meat, Bruce, like all the rest.” The major isn’t. Also, when the major gets all wangsty at least she waxes profound and name-checks Descartes and St. Paul
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs. The Terminator
The Terminator will cut him in half with a mini-gun, regardless of what shape he takes. Cyborg beats emo looking guy.
Gandalf the White
vs.
James Bond
Sorry James, but you’re no match for magic
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
Brock is stronger and faster, though Bourne could give him a run for his money.
I was gonna go with Bats myself, but Larry convinced me. We’ll just assume the fight is scripted by Shirow Masamune and not Frank Miller.
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
The Terminator
*The Terminator’s a badass, but he always seems to die in the end… *
Gandalf the White
vs.
James Bond
*what Cutterjohn said *
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
We talking the pre- blown-up Brock or Brock’s newer, fatter incarnation? Eh, he can still survive being being shot and knocked out of a 10 story building. We’ll go with Brock.
Bats is good, sure. But the major is going to leave him in tatters.
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
The Terminator
Unstoppable killing machine does not stop.
Gandalf the White
vs.
James Bond
Gandalf the White. Anduril, the Flame of the West is a weapon that can not harm him, so a Walther PPK shouldn’t be a big deal either. Glamdring, on the other hand cuts pretty much everybody.
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
Jason Bourne wants to live a normal life. Brock wants to kill things, lots of things, Bourne shaped things are just fine.
