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Old 01-04-2010, 09:19 PM
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Disabled Don't Want Pity, But Why?


I have always found it curious how the disabled do not want sympathy; yet, I have a non-obvious diasbility that I wish people could understand. So, I cannot comprehend why the disabled do not want sympathy. Is it so terrible to show sympathy for these people? I can understand if they don't want a pity party, but can they imagine a world of totally non-sympathetic people?
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Old 01-04-2010, 09:31 PM
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"Pity" and "sympathy" have taken on different connotations. Mr. T said, "I pity the fool..." He didn't say, "I sympathize with the fool..." Both words have nearly identical definitions, though.

I might reject sympathy, but I'd gladly take compassion or empathy.
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Old 01-04-2010, 09:35 PM
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Pity usually goes along with an assumption that the disabled are helpless. Sometimes sympathy can too but not always.
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Old 01-04-2010, 09:38 PM
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Yeah, "pity" nowadays means condescension, an assumption of helplessness or inferiority. Understanding is a different animal and means, for one thing, equality.
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Old 01-04-2010, 09:45 PM
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Yeah, "pity" nowadays means condescension, an assumption of helplessness or inferiority. Understanding is a different animal and means, for one thing, equality.
when I am out with mrAru either in my wheelchair on a bad day, or crutches on a good day, I find people talk to him and not me. Why the hell should he have an opinion on which brassierre *I* want ... and I am a gimp, not deaf to be shouted at, nor am I mentally deficient and need to have something explained or asked of me in simple one syllable words.

Now if you want to open a door for me, or help me by carrying a package, I'm fine with that ...
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Old 01-04-2010, 09:47 PM
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What they said. Pity also implies that "you poor thing, your entire life automatically sucks, mine is so much better than yours." There's an aura of superiority, and also of somehow "knowing" that somebody can't do things. You'd be surprised at how creative people can get in some circumstances.

Now, empathy or compassion or understanding...that's different. "Wow, the world is not built for you, is it? That sucks. What can we do about it?" Those can be downright constructive. There've been a few things done for me at work that make my work life easier without making anybody else's more difficult. My boss is awesome.

Somebody last week emailed me one of those glurgy stories about a kid with some disability (I don't remember what) who was watching a baseball game and somehow the losing team decided to let this strange kid up to bat because they were losing anyway and let's give the poor cripple a chance and somehow both teams ended up cheering him on to run around the bases because of course somehow he hit a home run, and this was presented as a heartwarming story about his moment of (fake) glory. Yeah. Because all disabled kids want to be put on pedestals or something. How about the kid wants to join the team, let him join the team and have him play like the others, with whatever adaptations he might need?

That was pity. Gag.
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Old 01-04-2010, 11:01 PM
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Not sure that the deaf relish being shouted at, but I get your point.
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Old 01-05-2010, 03:10 AM
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Somebody last week emailed me one of those glurgy stories about a kid with some disability (I don't remember what) who was watching a baseball game and somehow the losing team decided to let this strange kid up to bat because they were losing anyway and let's give the poor cripple a chance and somehow both teams ended up cheering him on to run around the bases because of course somehow he hit a home run, and this was presented as a heartwarming story about his moment of (fake) glory. Yeah. Because all disabled kids want to be put on pedestals or something. How about the kid wants to join the team, let him join the team and have him play like the others, with whatever adaptations he might need?
Hoo boy that's mild. But yeah, disabilty glurge is so freaking bad. It makes Chicken Soup for the Soul look like a New Yorker fiction piece.
You should see some of the forwards I get on my various and sundry listservs (and my disabilty isn't that big of a deal. Yet the moms go on and on how they've lost a "perfect" baby)
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Old 01-05-2010, 07:39 AM
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Why would people want pity? My experience is that it usually makes you feel worse, at least if it goes beyond the "I'm sorry your dog died" stage. Being pitied is generally a reminder that somebody else thinks you're screwed.
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Old 01-05-2010, 09:29 AM
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Yet the moms go on and on how they've lost a "perfect" baby)
Psssht. No such thing as perfect. Every kid is going to have something imperfect about them, that's life on earth. Can I smack those moms?
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Old 01-05-2010, 10:01 AM
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Why would people want pity?
That's not what George from Seinfeld would say

"Pity's very underrated. I like pity. It's good" - George Costanza

The OP seems to be confusing sympathy/pity with empathy.

Everyone wants to feel like they're part of a group. No one wants to stand out and be singled out for any reason good or bad. (Well most don't).
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Old 01-05-2010, 10:26 AM
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That was mild? It was way worse than my summary. It's just that I barely glanced over it once, nearly puked in my wastebasket right there at my desk, and deleted it.

Oh dear. I begin to see a problem here.
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Old 01-05-2010, 10:59 AM
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when I am out with mrAru either in my wheelchair on a bad day, or crutches on a good day, I find people talk to him and not me. Why the hell should he have an opinion on which brassierre *I* want ... and I am a gimp, not deaf to be shouted at, nor am I mentally deficient and need to have something explained or asked of me in simple one syllable words.

Now if you want to open a door for me, or help me by carrying a package, I'm fine with that ...
Yep. One of my friends is in a wheelchair and it's a 50/50 chance on, if we're at a restaurant, they'll actually ask her directly what she wants. WTF? The server will ask me or my other friend, "and what does she want?"

Either we say, "I have no idea, why aren't you asking her?" or she takes charge and says, "excuse me, if you want to ask what I want, ask me directly. I'm not incapable of conversation!" I love her!
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Old 01-05-2010, 11:16 AM
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I suppose, like all generalizations, there are exceptions to this one. It's not hard to imagine that some would like pity, or at least the opportunity to exploit someone's pity.

But as a general rule, it's good.
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Old 01-05-2010, 11:19 AM
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Well, wiki says that pity kind of evokes a "slightly contemptuous sorrow." It implies that you're looking down on them from some kind of level. Empathy, I agree, everyone wants, but who wants to be condescended to?
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Old 01-05-2010, 01:40 PM
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I have always found it curious how the disabled do not want sympathy; yet, I have a non-obvious diasbility that I wish people could understand. So, I cannot comprehend why the disabled do not want sympathy. Is it so terrible to show sympathy for these people? I can understand if they don't want a pity party, but can they imagine a world of totally non-sympathetic people?
It's not that they don't want sympathy. Of course they want compassion. It's just that they want it in the form of being treated like everyone else. They are constantly being reminded by others of their disability. You don't feel that way because yours isn't apparent to others.
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Old 01-05-2010, 01:50 PM
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It implies that you're looking down on them from some kind of level.
That'd be the "thank goodness I'm not you!" level.
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Old 01-06-2010, 11:51 PM
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"Pity" and "sympathy" have taken on different connotations. Mr. T said, "I pity the fool..." He didn't say, "I sympathize with the fool..." Both words have nearly identical definitions, though.
That is a perfect example and I am quite likely to steal it sometime in the future.
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Old 01-07-2010, 12:36 AM
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Psssht. No such thing as perfect. Every kid is going to have something imperfect about them, that's life on earth. Can I smack those moms?
AWESOME! Glad a nondisabled person feels that way too! I mean yeah being sad when your kid is dx as having a profound disabilty (ie the type where they are deaf, blind profoundly mentally retarded and have ten zillion medical problems) is understandable. But going into this whole " Oh boo hoo hoo" mode b/c your kid is just deaf or blind or has cerebal palsy or some other random disabilty that doesn't even cause pain or anything.....
whiterabbit, ever seen " Welcome to Holland?" or the " I'm a speshal angel sent from heaven!" crap ? Enough said!! The area of Disabilty Glurge is VOMIT inducing!
This is a response I wrote to WTH a few years ago: http://www.fvkasa.org/reports/welcome.html
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Old 01-07-2010, 04:00 AM
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Oh boy, I get to plug my own article!

I few years ago I won a pretty big screenwriting award. My piece was about how cripples should be treated just like everyone else. I even had a scene where the disabled protagonist was ignored by a waitress, which is probably universal for disabled people. The San Diego Union Tribune interviewed me and wrote an article about the story. Guess what the author focused on?

I drink through a straw!

I made a post about this article on the Dope after it was published, and it was almost unanimously agreed that it was an insulting pity piece. Way to miss the point of my message entirely.

Compare that to this article that The Koala wrote about me, that I actually just came across now. The Koala is a UCSD newsletter that trolls the campus with politically incorrect humor. Not my cup of tea, and it's despised by pretty much every minority.

Emaciated Weird Al Yankovich (NSFW language)

That's freaking hilarious! Normally no one would dare rip on me, to my face at least, even in jest. It's so refreshing to get my difference bashed just like any other minority, as long as it's not overtly malicious, which I don't think this is. Guess which article I put up on my wall?
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Old 01-07-2010, 10:15 AM
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Fortunately I seem to have avoided most disability glurge. The little I've seen tends to set my brain on fire and send flames out my ears.

Whoa, Carnick, that was funny.
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Old 01-07-2010, 10:25 AM
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He does look like an emaciated Weird Al!
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Old 01-07-2010, 11:52 AM
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Pretty much everyone else has summed it up above- sympathy isn't compassion and there's a huge difference.

Also Pity and sympathy both get REALLY old really quick.
And Hazle you're pretty right- the near-deaf also Don't like getting yelled at either. There's a difference between someone understanding you have a hearing disability and they elevate their voices and try to speak clearer while facing you vs. having someone yelling "YOOOUUUU POOOOOOR THIIIIIING!" slowly and loudly.

It REALLY gets old quick.
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Old 01-07-2010, 12:15 PM
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I don't want sympathy. It doesn't help me. I surely don't want pity. I'm not your responsibility and I don't need you wasting your emotions on me, it's self-serving, pity is about you and your response, it's not about me at all. I'm not even particularly keen on empathy.

All I want is a level playing field. Let me live my life, then get the hell out of my way while I do it.
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Old 01-07-2010, 01:10 PM
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I had a high school English teacher discuss the semantic nuances between "pity" and "sympathy" (in particular, it was a discussion about how audiences tend to sympathize with the protagonist of a work). He said: "Go up to your parents, and say "I pity you!'... Then, if you survive, tell them 'I sympathize with you' and compare the response."

"Sympathize" means sharing a feeling or to be in agreement with a feeling good or bad, "pity" tends to lean more towards the "feeling sorry for" end of the spectrum. I you automatically pity someone who is disabled, it implies that you are assuming they are unhappy and/or unfulfilled etc.

And it can also be annoying when people give you a free pass you don't deserve. A high school acquaintance of mine has CP and was mostly confined to a wheelchair (note: the guy has always been really athletic), it annoyed him a bit when he got privileges he didn't feel he had earned because it robbed him of his sense of accomplishment. For example, he played on the high school baseball team (right field). He could stand to bat, but he had to have a pinch runner. It used to piss him off when umpires made questionable calls to his benefit. The guy was a HUGE hitter. He had awesome upper body strength and if he could get some serious contact with the ball he could knock it into orbit. Some umps would call balls when they were clearly in the strike zone, which was unfair to everyone, sometimes made him feel like a cheat, and messed up his stats because he sometimes got (his pinch runner) on base when he totally didn't deserve it.

And on a more silly annoying anecdote. One Hallowe'en, he was unhappily stuck taking his niece or nephew (or some little kid, I don't remember), trick or treating. He was clearly too old to be a trick-or-treater and hung back with the other adults who were escorting kids, but people gave him candy anyway. None of the other adults got candy, just him. Feeling sorry for him that way made him feel like a kid. And if only they knew what a little shit he was half the time!

ETA: Most umps stopped coddling him once they saw him smash a ball deep into the outfield. The regular umps all knew him, it was just the newbies

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Old 01-07-2010, 02:04 PM
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Pity means the other guy is all "Wow, I'm so glad I'm not you, isn't it big of me to notice and help out the poor disabled person!"

On preview: What tumbleddown said, every word of it.
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Old 01-07-2010, 02:57 PM
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AWESOME! Glad a nondisabled person feels that way too! I mean yeah being sad when your kid is dx as having a profound disabilty (ie the type where they are deaf, blind profoundly mentally retarded and have ten zillion medical problems) is understandable. But going into this whole " Oh boo hoo hoo" mode b/c your kid is just deaf or blind or has cerebal palsy or some other random disabilty that doesn't even cause pain or anything.....[snip]
I'm glad you're happy, but I don't think it's that uncommon after you've lived a while. I can totally see a brand-new mom, fairly young, feeling like a baby ought to be 'perfect.' But I think that's kind of an immature attitude really. A 'perfect' baby is going to grow up into a kid with ADHD, or get fat, or have anxiety problems, or be totally unable to spell, or develop bulimia, or something. And what, are you going to dislike her then?

Most people feel like "I just want my baby to be healthy" is a reasonable thing to say. I'm not so sure anymore. Because yeah, it's an understandable sentiment, to want health. OTOH, there are so many things, big and small, that go awry. And really you're not going to throw the baby away because he's born with a malformed hand or a cleft palate, and you're not going to love him any less because he's deaf or has CP. You're just going to cope and discover that life is pretty good anyway.

My first daughter was born 'perfect.' Of course, 6 months later she developed terrible eczema, and she has severe allergies and my horrible eyesight (sorry kid). Maybe she'd trade the allergies for her sister's (fairly mild) Duane's syndrome, which was evident at birth but really is not going to be a problem ever, even though it's more visible. Well, I suppose it would keep her out of the army.

Sorry, that was all pretty random. But my point is, no one is perfect and we all live on a spectrum of physical issues. Some are just more obvious than others.
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Old 01-07-2010, 03:12 PM
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When I see them, I always think, "There but for the luck of the cosmic draw go I.", but I wouldn't say it out loud within their earshot, after all, words can only help so much.
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Old 01-07-2010, 05:42 PM
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Food allergies aren't normally considered a disability but I've gotten pity from people who say "Oh, you poor thing - you'll never be able to taste X". You know, I don't go through life dwelling on what I can't eat, I focus on what I can eat.

Pity is focusing on the can't, sympathy is.... well, it's acknowledging things aren't perfect without dwelling on the negative, or emphasizing the negative.

Same this with my clearly disabled husband. We have to deal with limitations, but we focus on enjoying what he can do - which is 99% of what everyone else can do.

What makes me laugh are able-bodied people who say "Oh, I wish I could go skydiving/hang gliding/scuba diving/be in a marching band/some other activity" that my husband has done even if he is a cripple. Often the most limiting thing in life is one's attitude and beliefs, not the state of one's body. That doesn't mean all obstacles can be overcome, but it does mean you can have a wonderful life even if you aren't physically perfect.
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Old 01-07-2010, 07:46 PM
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Somebody last week emailed me one of those glurgy stories about a kid with some disability (I don't remember what) who was watching a baseball game and somehow the losing team decided to let this strange kid up to bat because they were losing anyway and let's give the poor cripple a chance and somehow both teams ended up cheering him on to run around the bases because of course somehow he hit a home run, and this was presented as a heartwarming story about his moment of (fake) glory. Yeah. Because all disabled kids want to be put on pedestals or something. How about the kid wants to join the team, let him join the team and have him play like the others, with whatever adaptations he might need?

That was pity. Gag.
Shaya -- Dr Wayne Dyer? I think the point was that the act made the kid feel good. He goes on to relate it to some spiritual manifestation. My mom likes to send me this stuff. I usually watch/read/listen to it once to make her feel better. He goes on to mention in that series that just witnessing a good deed (not sure he was still referring to Shaya at this point) can raise ones serotonin levels.

As to the OP, I think I'd agree with tumbledown too.

Last edited by Rack-a-Bones; 01-07-2010 at 07:49 PM.
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Old 01-07-2010, 08:55 PM
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Yeah, but it was fake good. It was "pat the cripple on the head" fake good. Also...dammit, we aren't here as some sort of spiritual lesson for others. Nor are we somehow more spiritually aware or advanced than any other human being. Gaaaaaaa!!!

It wasn't a video. Forgive me but I can't bring myself to click that link.
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Old 01-07-2010, 11:34 PM
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I can totally see a brand-new mom, fairly young, feeling like a baby ought to be 'perfect.' But I think that's kind of an immature attitude really. A 'perfect' baby is going to grow up into a kid with ADHD, or get fat, or have anxiety problems, or be totally unable to spell, or develop bulimia, or something. And what, are you going to dislike her then?

Most people feel like "I just want my baby to be healthy" is a reasonable thing to say. I'm not so sure anymore. Because yeah, it's an understandable sentiment, to want health. OTOH, there are so many things, big and small, that go awry. And really you're not going to throw the baby away because he's born with a malformed hand or a cleft palate, and you're not going to love him any less because he's deaf or has CP. You're just going to cope and discover that life is pretty good anyway.
On the other hand, some of the parents I've seen of adult disabled folks *shakes head sadly* Or other parents whining and going on and on about how their kids aren't "healthy" or " normal" I do think that part of it is being really sheltered with little to no exposure to kids with disabilites. Plus the fact that suburban culture tends to be really superfical and "Stepford"
(think snotty "popular" teen style) can add to that whole "grief" thing.
I've been told " Oh you'll understand when you're a parent"
No. I actually WANT deaf kids. It took me YEARS to come to terms with being deaf (especially in this hellhole of a Stepford Wives town) and before I came to terms with being hoh, I had ALL these issues about being deaf.
Then again it seems like a lot of the parents who grieve about their kids being " special needs" are the very same ones who would grieve if they found out their kid was gay or different from the " norm" in whatever way.
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Old 01-07-2010, 11:52 PM
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When I see them, I always think, "There but for the luck of the cosmic draw go I.", but I wouldn't say it out loud within their earshot, after all, words can only help so much.
There's the issue. It isn't the purpose of "them" to make you feel better. Why do you automatically assume disabled people are worse off than you? Human beings are incredibly adaptive and able to enjoy life even in the face of challenges. That cripple you see rolling down the street might be flush with cash with a great job and family. Conversely, the "perfect" pretty boy athlete might be absolutely miserable inside. No cite handy, but I believe they did research that showed disabled people are not any more likely to be depressed than healthy adults.

A certain about of empathy is good. It's what keeps us from pushing blind people down the stairs for fun, or robbing little old ladies. I need doors opened for me sometimes, and it's nice when people realize that and help without asking. However, it's not my cosmic purpose to make you feel grateful. In fact, if you looked at the whole of my life I'm sure there would be some things that would make you envious. Everyone has their shit, everyone has their silver lining. Don't judge by appearances.
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Old 01-08-2010, 06:02 AM
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There's the issue. It isn't the purpose of "them" to make you feel better. Why do you automatically assume disabled people are worse off than you?
My post was poorly expressed, so I can't fault you for your interpretation of it, but I should have said I have a tendency to think that, and not implied that it was my default reaction.

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Human beings are incredibly adaptive and able to enjoy life even in the face of challenges. That cripple you see rolling down the street might be flush with cash with a great job and family. Conversely, the "perfect" pretty boy athlete might be absolutely miserable inside. No cite handy, but I believe they did research that showed disabled people are not any more likely to be depressed than healthy adults.
Possibly true, but are you saying it is impossible for a person to determine if a differently-abled person is happy with his/her lot, just by looking at them?

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A certain about of empathy is good. It's what keeps us from pushing blind people down the stairs for fun, or robbing little old ladies. I need doors opened for me sometimes, and it's nice when people realize that and help without asking. However, it's not my cosmic purpose to make you feel grateful. In fact, if you looked at the whole of my life I'm sure there would be some things that would make you envious. Everyone has their shit, everyone has their silver lining. Don't judge by appearances.
I don't. I save my sympathy for the ones who I'm guessing aren't living their optimum existence.
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:15 AM
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Possibly true, but are you saying it is impossible for a person to determine if a differently-abled person is happy with his/her lot, just by looking at them?
I think it's probably quite difficult to tell if anyone is happy with their lot, just by looking at them. People wear masks, and the mood you see them in isn't necessarily their usual one.

I know a beautiful and intelligent young woman who has everything going for her. She is always smiling and being friendly to everyone. She does a very good job of looking happy and competent. She also suffers from anorexia/bulimia.
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:37 AM
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BTW, the term "differently-abled" makes me want to puke. I can't be alone.

Sort of like I'd rather somebody come out and call me "you fucking midget" instead of figuratively patting me on the head and calling me "vertically challenged" which may have began as a joke but I have actually heard it used in serious contexts.
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Old 01-08-2010, 11:03 AM
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A certain about of empathy is good. It's what keeps us from pushing blind people down the stairs for fun,
...I'm not supposed to do that?
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:01 AM
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I think it's probably quite difficult to tell if anyone is happy with their lot, just by looking at them. People wear masks, and the mood you see them in isn't necessarily their usual one.

I know a beautiful and intelligent young woman who has everything going for her. She is always smiling and being friendly to everyone. She does a very good job of looking happy and competent. She also suffers from anorexia/bulimia.
Yes, but they don't tend to do it the other way. People don't fake looking unhappy. And the unhappy ones are the ones you're more likely to feel sorry for.

As for me--I separate less between pity and sympathy, and more whether what you are doing helps me or hurts me. I don't care so much whether you are thinking "There but for the grace of God go I" or "Man, I really wish I could help that guy," although I'd prefer the latter.

But between the two, I'd rather you be too helpful than not helpful enough. But this seems to be a rarer position than I thought.
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by whiterabbit View Post
BTW, the term "differently-abled" makes me want to puke. I can't be alone.
Oh, your poor, sensitive stomach! It must be so hard being a reader on this board.
  #40  
Old 01-09-2010, 09:32 AM
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Oh, your poor, sensitive stomach! It must be so hard being a reader on this board.
The phase is objectionable because it pretends that disability doesn't exist. it's a form of patronization that the disabled person is so sad about being disabled that the able bodied needs to gloss over the disability.
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:46 AM
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Objectionable, maybe, but isn't everything these days.
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Old 01-09-2010, 10:16 AM
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I'll just give my clearest cut personal anecdote regarding pity vs sympathy.

My husband-to-be once invited me out to his college fraternity event. The college fraternity was very special, we were dating but not for long, and I was desperate to make a good impression for him. I was feeling very shy and self-conscious, viewing my deafness as two strikes against my "worthiness" as a girlfriend to him (my husband was a big man in his fraternity and is just very accomplished overall), and having the stereotypical deaf accent did not help matters. He asked me to attend the "wives dinner" -- where I'd go by myself with a bunch of women to dinner -- and generally for an unmarried person to be invited, that meant that the couple were very serious. It was the first move my husband-to-be had made about being "serious", and I was nearly passing out in panic/anxiety when that happened. Of course that didn't help my speech at all.

There were about 20 women attending. Then the women, one by one, stood up and introduced themselves, and I had the "knee shakes" at that point. My turn came, I introduced myself, and I'm sure my speech was TERRIBLE from all that anxiety.

After I introduced myself, the room broke out in applause that wasn't done for anyone else. I basically heard "you really screwed up your speech in a way that none of us can understand, and your husband is such a special person for dating someone so special." I broke down and ran to the bathroom crying out of sheer shame.

Last edited by dre2xl; 01-09-2010 at 10:16 AM.
  #43  
Old 01-09-2010, 10:18 AM
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Yes, but they don't tend to do it the other way. People don't fake looking unhappy. And the unhappy ones are the ones you're more likely to feel sorry for.
But lots of people don't smile out in public for no reason, either. I know plenty of people who have been told they look unhappy (so cheer up! or what's wrong?), when in fact they were just not doing anything.

Americans in particular seem to expect cheerfulness in public; contrast this with Russians, who are famously stern-looking in public and very warm in private. Drop a perfectly happy Russian into Des Moines and people will probably assume she is unhappy. If you see what I mean.
  #44  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:17 PM
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Originally Posted by ivan astikov View Post
Objectionable, maybe, but isn't everything these days.
Do you enjoy being patronized? I sure as hell don't.

What is, is. My physical issues can suck. Most of the time they don't and just are. But they exist. There's no getting around that. I don't want or need people pretending that hey, having various issues and pain and weird nerve stuff creeping up on me the older I get and being 4'2" doesn't exist. I don't go around all the time feeling sorry for myself, I live a live complete with a job in a cubicle. But I am what I am, physically, and I don't need other people pretending otherwise.

I know people are trying not to offend with that sort of terminology. Oddly it has the opposite effect.
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Old 01-09-2010, 07:32 PM
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I don't go around all the time feeling sorry for myself, I live a live complete with a job in a cubicle.
THAT, I'll pity you for.
  #46  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:38 PM
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Fine by me.
  #47  
Old 01-09-2010, 09:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
The phase is objectionable because it pretends that disability doesn't exist. it's a form of patronization that the disabled person is so sad about being disabled that the able bodied needs to gloss over the disability.
as in 'yay, i cant walk for shit but you should see me race a wheelchair' thanks. I know i cant walk. I would love to be able to walk but it isnt happening, and i really dont want you 'celebrating my difference' thanks very much. if you want to do something, open a door or get me something off the shelf and get on with life.
  #48  
Old 01-10-2010, 03:16 AM
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My little brother was severely injured in a hiking accident three years ago. He's has limited movement in his arms and shoulders, and nothing below that.

Anyway, after his surgery he spent eight months in neurological rehabilitation. One evening we were sitting in the lobby playing checkers, partly to pass the time, and partly to practice his motor skills - my brother can't actually move his fingers, but through careful manipulation of his wrists he can pick small objects up. Anyway, genius that the kid is, he was beating me again and again. After taking my last piece for the third time in the row, he shook his head sadly and said: "Lost again - and to a cripple. You must be so embarrassed."

Needless to say, my brother has no use for pity.

Just to show off, here's what he was doing a year later.

Last edited by Alessan; 01-10-2010 at 03:17 AM.
  #49  
Old 01-10-2010, 01:04 PM
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Wow, Alessan! Your brother is amazing; and hilarious!
  #50  
Old 01-10-2010, 04:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whiterabbit View Post
BTW, the term "differently-abled" makes me want to puke. I can't be alone.
I agree. "Differently-abled" is an idiotic term to use for someone with a disability (I am paraplegic, by the way). Think about it - everybody on this planet is "differently-abled"; I doubt you would be able to find two different people with exactly the same abilities.
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