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  #1  
Old 09-21-2010, 06:27 PM
Rocketeer Rocketeer is offline
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How does a bidet work?

On our recent vacation to Victoria, BC, Mrs. R and I stayed at a pretty posh hotel. The bathroom, in addition to being big enough to play basketball in, had a bidet, and I realized that I have no idea whatsoever how to use it, bidets being pretty darned scarce in the USA. So could some kind Doper enlighten us:

1. What is the purpose of a bidet? Washing off sweat, or post-potty cleanup?
2. Does one sit, or hover?
3. Does it spray your behind, or do you splash water up by hand?
4. Is soap used?
5. What about when the water gets dirty?
6. What gaucheries should one not commit?
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  #2  
Old 09-21-2010, 06:36 PM
Dana Scully Dana Scully is offline
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Those are great questions--I've wondered about that myself--and I hope someone has the answers. But I'll bet you could look it up on the internet, too. In fact, I did just that and found a link to a site that's very helpful.

Here ya go!

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Bidet

Last edited by Dana Scully; 09-21-2010 at 06:39 PM..
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  #3  
Old 09-22-2010, 12:55 AM
DooWahDiddy DooWahDiddy is offline
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*yelling out the window in an Australian accent*

"It's for washing your backside, right?"





Anyone?
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  #4  
Old 09-22-2010, 01:01 AM
Tangent Tangent is online now
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Originally Posted by DooWahDiddy View Post
Anyone?
Mick: "For a minute there, "room service" took on a whole new meaning!"
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  #5  
Old 09-22-2010, 01:04 AM
Nava Nava is online now
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1. What is the purpose of a bidet? Washing off sweat, or post-potty cleanup?

Post-potty cleanup, post-coital cleanup and also feet-baths. Take into account that bidets became popular at a location (time and place-wise) in which such things as a steady stream of warm water, never mind a bathtub full of hot water, were closer to a pipe dream than something people really had.

2. Does one sit, or hover?

Depends, among other things on the bather's configuration and on what part she's washing. For footbaths you sit on a stool, the toilet... and wash one foot after the other.

3. Does it spray your behind, or do you splash water up by hand?

The majority don't spout high enough to hit everywhere that needs to be hit.

4. Is soap used?

Yes. Footbaths with salts are also popular.

5. What about when the water gets dirty?

What do you do when the water in a bathtub gets dirty?

6. What gaucheries should one not commit?

Mistaking it for a low toilet bowl.

Last edited by Nava; 09-22-2010 at 01:05 AM..
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  #6  
Old 09-22-2010, 03:57 AM
Ale Ale is offline
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After doing No. 2 you seat on the bidet, open the faucet and position yourself so that the spray cleans off your nether regions.
Things to remember: check that everything flushed away properly. You may use a towel to dry up or alternatively toilet paper.

Next lesson, how to use the three seashells...
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  #7  
Old 09-22-2010, 04:22 AM
blue infinity blue infinity is offline
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Originally Posted by Ale View Post
Next lesson, how to use the three seashells...
Here you go
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  #8  
Old 09-22-2010, 04:42 AM
MonkeyMensch MonkeyMensch is offline
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Yay! I've waited for a fresh version of this thread for a while. I've never used a bidet and probably never will. I know what bidets are used for, in general, but when it comes to the particulars I am at sea! Since Nava's post in this thread I've been surfing around and found a lot of redundant and sometimes contradictory information. To be truthful, it's the same information I've found every time I've tried to figure out how people use bidets in the real world. The sites I've viewed, including an old SDSAB page, get coy and euphemistic when getting to the details.

Please consider these questions as addressed to both men and women. Some of the information that I've gathered seems to assume a female's use of the fixture in discussion but since I'm male I'm interested in both gender's habits. I'll start with Nava's responses to the OP's questions just as a means to get to my unanswered questions. These follow-up questions are not directed specifically at Nava, by the way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nava View Post
1. What is the purpose of a bidet? Washing off sweat, or post-potty cleanup?

Post-potty cleanup, post-coital cleanup and also feet-baths. Take into account that bidets became popular at a location (time and place-wise) in which such things as a steady stream of warm water, never mind a bathtub full of hot water, were closer to a pipe dream than something people really had.
Do you wipe your anus before using the bidet? Do women wipe after urination and then use the bidet or does the bidet suffice?Would men use the bidet after urination?
Quote:
2. Does one sit, or hover?

Depends, among other things on the bather's configuration and on what part she's washing. For footbaths you sit on a stool, the toilet... and wash one foot after the other.
OK. There seems to be a number of permutations to this question: Male/female; urination/defecation/post-coital; pants/skirts/dresses/nude. The combinations are probably not that many but what do people actually do? And more specifically, what do men with trousers do? Do you take your trousers off before using the facilities? If not, do you do the Penguin Shuffle from the toilet to the bidet? And more importantly, which way do you face!? It seems a proper crap-shoot to divine which way the water is going to come at you. Temperature questions to follow.
Quote:
3. Does it spray your behind, or do you splash water up by hand?

The majority don't spout high enough to hit everywhere that needs to be hit.
Crikey! When I was surfing about the web there's pictures of streams from bidets that would rinse out my bath if they stood in place of my toilet. Then again, others show 8" bubbly fountains or omni-directional fountain heads? Is any kind more typical?
Quote:
4. Is soap used?

Yes. ...
So you give your butt a mini-shower after dropping a deuce. I like it, honestly. My question here stems from the directions on the sites I looked at. More than a few mentioned how a bidet saves toilet paper. Most of them say, "After using the bidet pat dry with toilet paper." That sounds like a bunch of TP but I am nescient and willing to be informed.
Quote:

5. What about when the water gets dirty?

What do you do when the water in a bathtub gets dirty?
I pull the plug. There are plugs in bidets now?
Quote:
6. What gaucheries should one not commit?

Mistaking it for a low toilet bowl.
How awful would it be for anyone to pee in a bidet, considering that the drain joins up a few feet later to the toilet?
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  #9  
Old 09-22-2010, 08:58 AM
smithsb smithsb is offline
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While living in Italy and working at an army base, I noticed most American couples used them to hold flower arrangements, plants, or reading material.
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  #10  
Old 09-22-2010, 10:26 AM
JerseyFrank JerseyFrank is offline
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I have similar questions. I'd like an answer that assumes complete and utter lack of knowledge. I don't know which way to face, where to sit, etc. What do you use to wash? Where do you keep the soap? Are there public bidets where bidets are common in households?
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  #11  
Old 09-22-2010, 02:34 PM
MikeF MikeF is offline
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Hey JerseyFrank - did you or yours have any need for a bidet after skydiving?
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  #12  
Old 09-22-2010, 02:46 PM
Kiyoshi Kiyoshi is offline
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How do you use it without soaking yourself?

Is the water warm or cold?
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  #13  
Old 09-22-2010, 03:14 PM
Swallowed My Cellphone Swallowed My Cellphone is offline
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I can answer some of these.

Quote:
Do you wipe your anus before using the bidet? Do women wipe after urination and then use the bidet or does the bidet suffice?Would men use the bidet after urination?
I guess that would be a personal preference thing, but I wipe first. It's the same thing I'd do if I had to wash my hands. Like if I got paint on my hands, I'd wipe the worst of the paint off with paper towels before sticking my hands under the faucet, right?

I never really thought about it though, wiping first seemed like the natural thing to do.

I've never used a bidet after urination, preferring instead the typical wang-shake.

Quote:
what do men with trousers do? Do you take your trousers off before using the facilities? If not, do you do the Penguin Shuffle from the toilet to the bidet? And more importantly, which way do you face!?
Bathrooms with bidets are usually roomy, so I take my trousers off and hang them up before the loaf-pinching takes place. Ergo, no penguin shuffle. The way I face depends on the model of the bidet. The one I had in a hotel had a seat that was clearly designed to face the same way I'd face while sitting on the toilet.

Quote:
Then again, others show 8" bubbly fountains or omni-directional fountain heads? Is any kind more typical?
I haven't seen very many models. The one I used had a couple different settings. Nava's post actually made me realize that the one was probably for a foot bath. I couldn't figure it out. There was no plug of any kind that I remember, it was all a running water only kind of thing.

Anyway, the one we had had a default setting kind of like a water fountain, although IIRC you could adjust the stream. I used to get the temperature set to something that appealed to my nether regions, I'd stand straddling the bidet and lower myself into place. Then I'd dry off with toilet paper. IME, you have to pat dry rather than wipe after the bidet because the excess water would make the TP disintegrate and then you'd have to use the bidet again to hose the TP lint out of yer butt.

I didn't use soap. Not accustomed to using a bidet, the thought never occurred to me. Applying soap would require getting my hands too close to soiled butt and there must be at least some barrier (i.e. TP or biohazard rated gloves) between bare hand and soiled butt at all times—that is a law. So I just sat there for awhile with the water gently rinsing my balloon-knot.

Also, I was in one hotel in South America where the "bidet" was just a hose next to the toilet. Could not figure out for the life of me how anyone could use it without soaking the place.

Quote:
How awful would it be for anyone to pee in a bidet, considering that the drain joins up a few feet later to the toilet?
Nah, he means don't take a dump in the bidet.
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  #14  
Old 09-22-2010, 03:33 PM
MonkeyMensch MonkeyMensch is offline
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Wow. Back home now after posting last night I would have figured there would be some responses. Come on. Surely there are some Dopers who use bidets regularly who can shed some light on the matter. I am in genuine earnest here.
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  #15  
Old 09-22-2010, 03:37 PM
MonkeyMensch MonkeyMensch is offline
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Thanks, SMC. My response there was a slow simulpost.
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  #16  
Old 09-22-2010, 04:13 PM
Baracus Baracus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana Scully View Post
Those are great questions--I've wondered about that myself--and I hope someone has the answers. But I'll bet you could look it up on the internet, too. In fact, I did just that and found a link to a site that's very helpful.

Here ya go!

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Bidet
You know, some things should go without saying, yet on that page we find this under "Warnings":
Quote:
Drinking from a bidet is not recommended. The stream can ricochet off a soiled area and become contaminated.
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  #17  
Old 09-22-2010, 04:45 PM
Swallowed My Cellphone Swallowed My Cellphone is offline
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Originally Posted by MonkeyMensch View Post
Thanks, SMC. My response there was a slow simulpost.
And to be honest, although I used the bidet in our hotel room in Spain, I may not have been using it the right way. I just sort of figured out what seemed logical. I had a few false starts, like sitting on it, then turning it on to have a freezing cold near-enema.

I don't think I was doing it quite right. I seemed to get too much water everywhere, like I would end up soaking the boys and a lot of my thighs.

ETA: And using lots and lots of toilet paper to dry off. That can't be right.

Last edited by Swallowed My Cellphone; 09-22-2010 at 04:46 PM..
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  #18  
Old 09-22-2010, 04:54 PM
Shot From Guns Shot From Guns is offline
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Count me in as another under the heading of "can recognize them and understand their use in a general way but not the specifics."

I used to think that the anecdotes about people mistaking bidets for anything but their intended purpose was just a bunch of vile calumny heaped on Americans... until I caught up with a friend from grade school a few years back. This was a very smart woman--bilingual, owned her own home straight out of college, finished her undergrad in three years, was about to start her JD at a prestigious university after having applied at the last second. And yet, when she studied abroad and lived in a house with a bidet, she thought it was... for washing your face. Yes, this bright woman washed her face in bidet water for at least a week or two before anyone noticed and explained her mistake.
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  #19  
Old 09-22-2010, 05:04 PM
Swallowed My Cellphone Swallowed My Cellphone is offline
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Originally Posted by Shot From Guns View Post
And yet, when she studied abroad and lived in a house with a bidet, she thought it was... for washing your face. Yes, this bright woman washed her face in bidet water for at least a week or two before anyone noticed and explained her mistake.
When I hear stories like this I want to call shenanigans. Bidets are low to the ground and are usually right beside the toilet. Furthermore, there is usually a proper wash basin at the proper counter height. The set up is usually like this. They look nothing like wash basins for one's face unless you plan on kneeling on the floor like someone who's about to puke.
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  #20  
Old 09-22-2010, 05:12 PM
Swallowed My Cellphone Swallowed My Cellphone is offline
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Here is a website that includes a how to with pics (safe for work, but they may think you're weird.). At the bottom you can see the guy posing so you can see the stream and the obvious resemblance to a toilet. This one has a plug, but I swear I don't remember the one in our hotel having a plug and I do remember a fancier spray gizmo thing. ETA: but our did have a seat like that that actually looked like a proper seat.

Last edited by Swallowed My Cellphone; 09-22-2010 at 05:13 PM..
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  #21  
Old 09-22-2010, 07:45 PM
komolono komolono is offline
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"First-hand guidance"

I was on a job trip to Fuengirola, Spain. Visited a local club - IIRC "Ninety two" was the name of the Club (or address). There was this nice lady, who did not charge (extra) for her assistance. Paid her ten more visits, though

Last edited by komolono; 09-22-2010 at 07:46 PM.. Reason: Hmmmm...nice lady
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  #22  
Old 09-22-2010, 09:34 PM
Ale Ale is offline
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Originally Posted by Swallowed My Cellphone View Post
Also, I was in one hotel in South America where the "bidet" was just a hose next to the toilet. Could not figure out for the life of me how anyone could use it without soaking the place.
Ohh... I have one of those here at home. Never use it unless I ran out of toilet paper.
It's quite common in Asia.
You are supposed to, while seated on the toilet, lean forward, reach around (heh) and hose your derrière with it. The tricky part is not having a spray of water... ehhh, and not just water, blasting through your legs into your face.
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  #23  
Old 09-22-2010, 09:58 PM
gaffa gaffa is online now
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You don't have to have your bathroom torn up to install a bidet. There are seats that convert your toilet into one as well. I've used the Toto model, and loved it. It gets you so much cleaner than toilet paper can.
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  #24  
Old 09-22-2010, 10:04 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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Originally Posted by Shot From Guns View Post
I used to think that the anecdotes about people mistaking bidets for anything but their intended purpose was just a bunch of vile calumny heaped on Americans... until I caught up with a friend from grade school a few years back. This was a very smart woman--bilingual, owned her own home straight out of college, finished her undergrad in three years, was about to start her JD at a prestigious university after having applied at the last second. And yet, when she studied abroad and lived in a house with a bidet, she thought it was... for washing your face. Yes, this bright woman washed her face in bidet water for at least a week or two before anyone noticed and explained her mistake.
Why would bidet water be any dirtier, though? Unless you're letting it run and splashing it like in a basin. But when I wash my face in a normal sink, I just splash it from the faucet. Which is why the question of what you do when the water in the bidet gets dirty mystifies me. You aren't meant to be soaking in the bidet...are you?!
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  #25  
Old 09-22-2010, 11:35 PM
needscoffee needscoffee is offline
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Originally Posted by gaffa View Post
You don't have to have your bathroom torn up to install a bidet. There are seats that convert your toilet into one as well. I've used the Toto model, and loved it. It gets you so much cleaner than toilet paper can.
In the skid mark thread, OpalCat linked to a $100 attachment that she has that goes on the side of your toilet seat. It's $200 if you want the heated model.
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  #26  
Old 09-23-2010, 01:48 AM
Nava Nava is online now
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MonkeyMensch, your questions are so long that I'll just try to go into more detail without answering each one individually, if that's OK.

I've never discussed this with any guys, but SMC covered that. Information based on my mother's and grandmother's usage and mine. I only use it for foot baths.

Which way you face depends on what you're using it for, the shape of the bidet itself and what's around it. For example, if I take a footbath at Mom's, I'm sitting on a stool in front of the bidet. If I take one at Grandma's, I'm sitting on the edge of the bathtub, which is to the side of the bidet. At my brother's I'd have to sit on the toilet, which is to the other side of the bidet.

Some bidets have a single faucet, on top of the basin and on the side closest to the wall. Some have a spout, inside the basin and on the side farthest to the wall. Some have both. Some have several. Whether you sit on one facing the wall or away from it would depend on where the faucet/spout is, whether it can get high enough to hit the parts that need washing (if it doesn't, you need to splash, which may involve hovering), the length of your legs and, specially if you'll have to hover or have difficulty moving, what objects are nearby that you can use for leverage.

Mom and Grandma do wipe before using the bidet. The ass-bath is for when TP isn't enough, it's not intended to replace TP. This means they also do not use it afteer peeing, as TP definitely suffices there.

They always remove any skirts, trousers, pantyhose and panties before using it. Using one wall-facing with anything but skirts on would require some strange positions, if it was even possible, and if you had skirts on you'd risk getting them wet. Using one wall-backed wouldn't be much more comfortable, with anything around your ankles.




Quote:
How awful would it be for anyone to pee in a bidet, considering that the drain joins up a few feet later to the toilet?
Well, that would depend on whether you're the kind of person who considers it's ok to pee in the shower or not. And pee wouldn't be too bad, after all you wash it away. But I've heard of people using a bidet to poo in a house with French toilets; the homeowner was Not Happy. A French toilet is when you have the porcelain throne (and maybe a small washbasin) in one room and everything else in a different one.

Last edited by Nava; 09-23-2010 at 01:50 AM..
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  #27  
Old 09-23-2010, 03:15 AM
Magiver Magiver is offline
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I don't like the idea of something squirting up because that means dirty water is falling back down on the nozzle. Doesn't seem sanitary to me.
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  #28  
Old 09-23-2010, 04:39 AM
Fried Dough Ho Fried Dough Ho is offline
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There is a restaurant here in San Francisco which has the Japanese toilet version of a bidet (i.e., the bidet is part of the toilet seat so you get a little happy squirt when you least expect it).

The food in the restaurant is so-so, but I just *love* excusing myself in between courses for a quick trip to the loo!
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  #29  
Old 09-23-2010, 09:08 AM
Shot From Guns Shot From Guns is offline
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Originally Posted by Swallowed My Cellphone View Post
When I hear stories like this I want to call shenanigans.
So do I! That's why I never believed them either until I heard it first-hand from someone it happened to. She had no reason to lie to me and was rather embarassed about the whole thing (in a "looking back and laughing" sort of way).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fried Dough Ho View Post
There is a restaurant here in San Francisco which has the Japanese toilet version of a bidet (i.e., the bidet is part of the toilet seat so you get a little happy squirt when you least expect it).
Japanese toilets don't mysteriously squirt you. There are buttons for that. So I guess it happens "when you least expect it" if you're also surprised every time the call you just dialed goes through.
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  #30  
Old 09-23-2010, 09:46 AM
Fried Dough Ho Fried Dough Ho is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shot From Guns View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fried Dough Ho View Post
There is a restaurant here in San Francisco which has the Japanese toilet version of a bidet (i.e., the bidet is part of the toilet seat so you get a little happy squirt when you least expect it).
Japanese toilets don't mysteriously squirt you. There are buttons for that. So I guess it happens "when you least expect it" if you're also surprised every time the call you just dialed goes through.
I KNOW you have a button to activate it. You didn't get the "happy little squirt" concept, did you?
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  #31  
Old 09-23-2010, 09:48 AM
Nava Nava is online now
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Originally Posted by Magiver View Post
I don't like the idea of something squirting up because that means dirty water is falling back down on the nozzle. Doesn't seem sanitary to me.
It's not straight up, usually, and you're supposed to leave it clean. Civilized people leave the bathtub clean after using it, too.

Last edited by Nava; 09-23-2010 at 09:52 AM..
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  #32  
Old 09-23-2010, 10:05 AM
Erdosain Erdosain is offline
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I think part of the problem here is that there are different kinds of bidets and that is contributing to the confusion.

When I lived in Italy, the bidet did not have a central spout. It was just a bowl with a faucet that filled the bowl. (Google image "italian bidet" to see what I'm talking about.) This appears to be the variety that Nava (who is Spanish) is talking about. In my opinion, these bidets suck because you have to fill the bowl and actually touch your nether regions to clean.

The far superior version of the bidet is just a bowl with a spout set in the middle of it that squirts straight up. It's a fountain and the height it attains depends on how much you open the valve. Most bidets like this that I've seen can spray straight up at least five or six feet. You position your ass right above the fountain, turn it on, and it power-hoses you clean. No touching involved. No need to use any toilet paper except to dry.

Usually, bidets like this have two faucets: one for hot and one for cold so you have to slowly mix and match to get a decent temperature. I lived in some really cheap apartments in South America, and most just had the cold water hooked up. (It's not that bad; you get used to it.) However, I was visiting a friend's apartment one day and was using his bidet, and he only had the hot water hooked up. It was awful. I could only turn it on for three-second intervals until the water became unbearably hot on my a-hole. I had to turn it on and off about twenty times and ended up with a scalded sphincter. Worst. Bidet. Ever. (Hey, the OP wanted a euphemism-less discussion!)
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  #33  
Old 09-23-2010, 10:24 AM
Shot From Guns Shot From Guns is offline
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Originally Posted by Fried Dough Ho View Post
I KNOW you have a button to activate it. You didn't get the "happy little squirt" concept, did you?
So why were you saying you got that squirt "when you least expect it"? How can you not expect to get squirted after you hit the button to make it squirt? That's what I'm objecting to. As evidenced by the phone call analogy.
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  #34  
Old 09-23-2010, 11:58 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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[ open on exterior, Hotel Del Coronado in Coronado, California ]

[ dissolve to interior, suite bathroom ]

Attendant: And the bathrooms in each of our executive suites come with a whirlpool tub, radiant heating and a rainfall shower head.

Male Guest: Hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Female Guest: It's neat!

Attendant: And, If you follow me, I can show you the master bedroom.

Male Guest: And the... [ dramatic pause ] bidet... comes standard?

Attendant: Uh -- yes, you'll find a bidet in all our executive suites.

Female Guest: And, uh, there's no additional charge for using the, uh... bidet? No per use fee or debit system?

Attendant: No, ma'am, use of the bidet is complimentary.

Female Guest: Very nice, very nice. Good to know.

Attendant: Would you like to see the master bedroom?

Female Guest: And, uh, the bidet... is in good, working order... the bidet?

Attendant: I believe so, yes.

Male Guest: And there's a... a sturdiness to it... the bidet? It can... accommodate... a fairly heavy carriage?

Attendant: I think it's a very standard bidet.

Male Guest: Hmmm, I see.

Female Guest: Good, good, good. And the... water pressure?

Male Guest: Ah, yes. And the water pressure... in the bidet? Should it prove... insufficient... is there an adjustment... that can be made... to possibly increase... the pressure substantially?

Attendant: I don't think so, no.

Male Guest: Hmm, I see.

Attendant: Our sheets in the bedroom boast a 600 thread count.

Male Guest: And the bidet, should it break -- is there a... bidet repairman on site?

Attendant: If there's any problem with the bathroom --

Female Guest: It would be the bidet.

Male Guest: The bidet.

Attendant: We would just call a plumber.

Female Guest: And, uh, this plumber, he can handle even the most... extreme bidet problems?

Attendant: He's a very competent plumber.

Male Guest: And should the bidet... be damaged beyond repair... how soon... would you be able to replace it with a new bidet?

Attendant: I really don't know the answer to that.

Male Guest: Hmm. That's worrisome.

Female Guest: I don't want to hear that. And... should we have, uh, an unexpected overnight guest... do you offer a roll-away bidet?

Attendant: I don't believe that exists.

Male Guest: It's 2010. You would think --

Female Guest: You could draw up a plan.

Male Guest: And are there any... hidden cameras in the bathroom... that might be ble to record whatever is taking place in or around the bidet? Perhaps a toilet cam?

Attendant: No, there are no cameras anywhere in the bathroom.

Female Guest: Hmm. That's a shame.

Male Guest: That's too bad.

Female Guest: And... the nearest hospital? That would be?

Attendant: St. George Medical Center. It's about three miles east of the hotel.

Male Guest: And their ambulances... do they have bidets? Or would there be a gap... between the hotel and the hospital... bidetwise?

Attendant: I doubt the ambulances have bidets. I also doubt the hospital has a bidet.

Male Guest: And with the doctors at the hospital... there's an understood confidentiality, correct?

Female Guest: They're seasoned professionals? They've "seen it all", so to speak?

Male Guest: They've had their gag reflexes removed, haven't they?

Attendant: Okay, you know what? I'm going to just leave you two alone.

Female Guest: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before you go, let us give you a little something for your trouble.

[ she hands the boy a soggy dollar bill ]

Attendant: Uh -- why is this wet?

Male Guest: I'm not going to lie to you -- [ he pulls out another soggy dollar and hands it over ] It involves a bidet.

[ the boy chucks the dollar bills to the floor and exits the bathroom, leaving the couple to look exasperatedly at their wet money on the floor ]

[ cut back to exterior, hotel ]

[ fade ]
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  #35  
Old 09-23-2010, 12:34 PM
Swallowed My Cellphone Swallowed My Cellphone is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magiver
I don't like the idea of something squirting up because that means dirty water is falling back down on the nozzle. Doesn't seem sanitary to me.
There are a lot of different models. The one I tried was the one that sprays straight up, it had two settings: sprinkle (kind of like an inverted showerhead effect - heeheehee, tickles) and power wash (straighter jetstream like what comes out of a faucet). You must be careful with the latter.

The water runs enough that it's not any more ore less sanitary than showering after you poop or sitting in a bathtub stewing in your own sweat and grime. It's also at a slight angle so the water coming down isn't mingling with the water going up. Like this pic (safe for work, it's just water).

In any case, at a different hotel, they had the kind where there is a faucet that sprays sort of horizontally from the back of the bowl, kind of like this, but the nozzle was even lower and came out of the porcelain. I didn't try it though because by then the novelty had worn off. I did think it seemed to be a superior design though. The one with the vertical sprinkle I found had the nozzle not positioned quite right. So sitting what seemed the right way round put the nozzle too close to the front so I'd end up spraying my junk not just my backside, or I'd have to move too far forward and I hate when any of my junk touches porcelain (cooties!).

Sitting backwards made me worry about splashback, so I ended up sitting the right way around but holding my junk up and out of harms way.
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  #36  
Old 09-24-2010, 04:09 AM
Nava Nava is online now
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erdosain View Post
I think part of the problem here is that there are different kinds of bidets and that is contributing to the confusion.

When I lived in Italy, the bidet did not have a central spout. It was just a bowl with a faucet that filled the bowl. (Google image "italian bidet" to see what I'm talking about.) This appears to be the variety that Nava (who is Spanish) is talking about. In my opinion, these bidets suck because you have to fill the bowl and actually touch your nether regions to clean.
One of the varieties I'm speaking of. I did mention myself that there are several kinds, including spout-in-the-middle, several-spouts, etc. And if you have one of those with the faucet, you do not need to fill the bowl or touch your nether regions, you can splash if that's your preference.
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  #37  
Old 09-24-2010, 03:21 PM
kpasa kpasa is offline
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It's really meant for dental hygiene. Just stick your head in there and turn the knobs. You'll get all that couscous out of your teeth.
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  #38  
Old 09-25-2010, 09:52 AM
Bear_Nenno Bear_Nenno is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Ft Benning, GA
Posts: 6,909
Quote:
Originally Posted by smithsb View Post
While living in Italy and working at an army base, I noticed most American couples used them to hold flower arrangements, plants, or reading material.
Awesome! I have a house in Italy. Since I am the first tenant, the bidet in my bathroom has never been used. Now I'm thinking I should plant something in it.
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  #39  
Old 09-25-2010, 03:21 PM
TBG TBG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bear_Nenno View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by smithsb View Post
While living in Italy and working at an army base, I noticed most American couples used them to hold flower arrangements, plants, or reading material.
Awesome! I have a house in Italy. Since I am the first tenant, the bidet in my bathroom has never been used. Now I'm thinking I should plant something in it.
Put a plug in it and get some goldfish.
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  #40  
Old 05-03-2012, 11:46 AM
arana1 arana1 is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
I hae this question too, how clean is a bidet water? i mean all the dirty water is falling down back to the bidet, the next person who uses it will splash their butts with water mixed with remanents of the last person that used it (YIACK!) (even if you flush it something must remain in the nozzles or something) seems not higyenic to me either , i dont exactly know how they actually squirt at you, but from how it sounds im not happy.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nava View Post
It's not straight up, usually, and you're supposed to leave it clean. Civilized people leave the bathtub clean after using it, too.
civilized people dont go into a bathtube with their butt all crapped right after dumping.
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  #41  
Old 05-03-2012, 11:51 AM
Testy Testy is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by smithsb View Post
While living in Italy and working at an army base, I noticed most American couples used them to hold flower arrangements, plants, or reading material.
smithsb

Using it for reading material is VERY bad. A lot of the Americans I knew in Saudi used the bidets for reading material, including myself. This is all good until the tap gets turned and you have 5 pounds of wet newsprint.

Regards

Testy
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  #42  
Old 05-03-2012, 11:53 AM
ecoaster ecoaster is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
You know what I never understood? Why don't more of us (adults) use wet butt wipes to clean up after taking the browns to the Super Bowl? I use the flushable ones, and my ass is always clean!!!!!
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  #43  
Old 05-03-2012, 11:55 AM
running coach running coach is offline
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Location: Riding my handcycle
Posts: 14,263
*sings* Ah, bidets are here again.

*flees*
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  #44  
Old 05-03-2012, 12:10 PM
arana1 arana1 is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
BIDET WATER IS CLEAN AFTER ALL:

i found an answer to my worries:

Quote:
A big concern among the toilet-paper crowd when they are first faced with using a bidet is how to clean it. Since you’ve got it shooting water into your sensitive parts, it’s a fair anxiety too. Too much can go wrong, after all, that can lead to some costly medical bills if the thing proves unhygienic.

The good news is that bidets are considered the most sanitary cleansing for your private areas for good reason. Read on and find out why.

1. Unless you buy a poorly-designed, third-rate variety, dirty water from your posterior will never land on the nozzle, in a circular pattern that many people are afraid of. Bidets are tested many times to ensure that only clean water ever touches you down there – guaranteed.

2. Toilet seat bidets from popular manufacturers like Coco, Brondell and BioBidet are maintenance-free. Their nozzles and jets often come with a self-cleaning feature too, making it unnecessary to clean them yourself.

3. In case you want to clean them yourself for your own peace of mind, simply wipe the areas down a damp cloth. Some bidets, especially the more expensive models, also have a “quick release” feature that allows you to disassemble it in a jiffy, so you can clean each part individually.

4. For both carbon and iodine external water filters, bidet owners are advised to replace them every six months. Most manufacturers recommend using an iodine filter for best results.
from an external site (reviewbidets dot com)

Quote:
taking the browns to the Super Bowl
hahaha never heard that onebefore, good one!

Last edited by arana1; 05-03-2012 at 12:12 PM..
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  #45  
Old 05-03-2012, 12:19 PM
Spiff Spiff is offline
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Join Date: May 2000
Location: In the SPIFF Bunker
Posts: 2,566
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intergalactic Gladiator View Post
[ open on exterior, Hotel Del Coronado in Coronado, California ]

[ dissolve to interior, suite bathroom ]

<much hilarity snipped>
That was awesome!
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  #46  
Old 05-03-2012, 12:58 PM
GargoyleWB GargoyleWB is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by gaffa View Post
It gets you so much cleaner than toilet paper can.
I've always wondered this. In the case of solid waste...does it really get you cleaner? Or is it just a false impression after being wetted and dried?

My experience with cat or dog poop that hits the ground is that, if there is any residue, no amount of garden spraying or water hosing short of a paint-stripping pressure washer will clean the surface. Physical wiping with a paper towel, sponge, etc is required to clean the surface. I'm incredibly skeptical of a gentle low pressure stream actually cleaning anything.
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  #47  
Old 05-03-2012, 01:22 PM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Join Date: May 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by GargoyleWB View Post
I've always wondered this. In the case of solid waste...does it really get you cleaner? Or is it just a false impression after being wetted and dried?

My experience with cat or dog poop that hits the ground is that, if there is any residue, no amount of garden spraying or water hosing short of a paint-stripping pressure washer will clean the surface. Physical wiping with a paper towel, sponge, etc is required to clean the surface. I'm incredibly skeptical of a gentle low pressure stream actually cleaning anything.
Read the posts -- most of them observe that you are supposed to wash in a normal manner, and don't suggest relying on the gentle stream itself. So you would, ideed, be doing physical scrubbing with a washcloth or your hand or something.
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  #48  
Old 05-03-2012, 02:56 PM
GargoyleWB GargoyleWB is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
Read the posts -- most of them observe that you are supposed to wash in a normal manner, and don't suggest relying on the gentle stream itself. So you would, ideed, be doing physical scrubbing with a washcloth or your hand or something.
Thanks, I may have misunderstood gaffa's post where he/she said "so much cleaner than toilet paper can" to mean that toilet paper was not being used as a buff before the polish.
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