Created after reading this thread. The previous poll was fine and dandy but I’m curious to see how it breaks down by gender.
I think it’s ridiculous to be offended at the idea of signing a prenup. People are saying that it’s the equivalent of reducing your marriage to financial terms and I don’t see how that makes sense. There’s no reducing going on. A prenup is a financial contract that only applies to the financial aspect of marriage to begin with.
Male, and no I wouldn’t be offended. If anything that shows good faith on her part since given how slanted our courts are towards women in domestic disputes she’s throwing away a major advantage if she meant me ill. Presuming that the terms of the pre-nup are fair, naturally. And like it or not, divorces are common; it turns out that no, people don’t usually find their perfect mate on the first try (if ever).
Yes, I’d think that I have a right to be offended. Because your refusal to sign one indicates to me that you think you deserve half of what’s mine (as little as that may be :p) if and when we get divorced.
Do you believe in any form of ethics or fairness outside of what’s legal? Do you sue everyone you can in the hope that the law might think it’s fair for you to get a settlement check?
Id rather use processes already in place for these things for when they’re needed, rather than have a divorce now, when Im not going to know what the circumstances will actually be.
I explained in the other thread. I (personally, of course) just don’t find prenups reconcilable with the concept of unconditional wedding vows. I don’t see how it would be possible for me to have earnestly made my wedding vows, with a prenup in the frame.
I guess I can respect that but divorce is a fact of life. I just think it’s perhaps naive to think that your love is true and unconditional unlike the love that all those other people experience.
Venereal disease is a fact of life, too, but I don’t see anyone making plans for how to get it treated before they ever take off their pants. IYSWIM.
And frankly, my love is different from what a lot of other people experience. I genuinely like and respect and enjoy him as a person completely apart from our romantic relationship, and judging by the way I see other couples interacting, that’s pretty goddamn rare. We’re not at the same risk for divorce as a lot of other people, and it would be patently silly for us to act as if we were.
Let’s face it, the only way he’s getting rid of me is to pry me loose with a crowbar. The only thing he could get out of a prenup is to limit his liability if he dumps me for somebody younger and cuter…and if he wants to do that, he can bloody well pay through the nose for the privilege.
It would depend on why he wanted it: a prenup to protect his own property would bother me. A prenup to protect property he was the steward of–like family heirlooms, or an inheritance from a late wife that he intended to pass on to the kids he had with that wife, or a family business–I can see wanting that protected because it’s not really yours to risk.