Is adultery or to put it more bluntly sexual acts by married person to a person outside the marriage always immoral?
Well, leaving aside the fact that morals are highly dependent on ones viewpoint, I’d say that nothing humans do is ‘always’ anything…good or bad. For instance, if one has an arranged marriage, then I don’t see how adultery would be considered ‘immoral’…by me at least. And that’s the rub…it’s going to depend on the view point of each individual. Myself, I’m pretty loose, ‘morally’ speaking, so it wouldn’t matter so much. Someone of more highly structured morals it’s going to matter more too. Also, someone where inheritance makes a big difference is going to take a more dim view of adultery, regardless of their specific morals.
-XT
I don’t know whether I’d use the word “immoral,” because there are so many variables. Does the spouse know about it and consent? Is the spouse, for some reason, incapable of having sex, due to illness or loss of desire? Are they in the process of getting divorced?
In short, marriage should not be a prison, and nobody should be condemned to a life of suffering and frustration as a result of being married. But it should be done with the consent of the spouse, assuming they are rational and care about your well-being.
No, since you didn’t exclude situations where both spouses agree to it. Threesomes and such are hardly immoral.
It’s only immoral if it violates the terms of the marriage.
Agreed, with the stipulation that it’s the implicit terms that matter, not just the explicit ones. If a married couple’s vows somehow omit a requirement of fidelity or exclusivity, that does not necessarily excuse adultery.
If it is hurtful to the spouse, then it is hurtful to the spouse. Whether it needs to be called “immoral” is not even especially pertinent. The issue is whether it will be hurtful (which lawyered loopholes in wedding vows will not necessarily prevent). If the spouse is not hurt, or doesn’t care or (not that I’ll ever understand this) even likes it, then there is no foul.
I don’t think so.
What do you think?
Yes always (except obviously rape which is excusable for the victim).
Wow. “Excusable” is really the wrong word there. Being raped does not constitute adultery.
So (ignoring your rape comment) you think threesomes are immoral?
Just to take a less accusatory tone, “Adultery” is voluntary by definition. Technically, a person who is raped is not engaging in adultery at all; there is no adultery to be “excused.” Go ahead, look it up.
As to your question, by the strict wording of your OP, no. Adultery is, technically, the deliberate act of engaging with sex with someone other than one’s spouse. (The precise definition varies by jurisdiction.) If the other spouse is happy with it - in fact, the other spouse could be participating! - there’s nothing wrong with that, IMHO.
I’m prepared to assume any stance that is the direct opposite of the OP’s.
Orgy Participant #26: “Don’t you feel even a little guilty cheating on your husband?”
Wife: “Actually, he’s the guy with the camcorder. Hi honey!”
Techically, the question isn’t just whether it’s hurtful to the spouse, but whether it is potentially hurtful, i.e. the adulterer is keeping the act a secret from the spouse. That is why morality is pertinent; it is usually invoked in cases where the only judge is the person committing the act.
It comes down to trust and the relationship you have. If sleeping with someone else breaks that trust then I would say it is morally wrong to do that to your spouse.
If your spouse is (truly) ok with that then it is not morally wrong. And by “truly” I do not mean the spouse keeps their mouth shut because, for one reason or another, they feel they have to.
I don’t get how people can manage the second version but I guess some do and it’s their life so rock on.
Careful. An arranged marriage is not the same as a forced marriage. The vast majority of arranged marriages are freely entered by two people who want to create a family unit, expect fidelity of each other, and hope that love will grow. As a system, it’s results surely are not worse than our willy-nilly passion based on. Anyway, these days arranged marriages are more like really marriage-focused online dating than anything else and cheating would almost certainly be a violation of a freely given promise.
They’re not really freely entered. The couple is not really made to feel like they have any choice. They are, for all practical purposes, forced marriages.
I think it depends. I feel what Ayn Rand did was immoral DESPITE the fact that she got her husband’s consent. I feel that swingers who engage in group play is fine but the only people I know who have been able to make this work are empty nesters and I try not to think about it.
I agree.
That is what I meant by the other person being “truly” ok with it. There are all sorts of ways one spouse can hold sway over the other such that it the spouse capitulates when in their heart they do not want to.
IIRC Rand could dish it out and not take it. I believe she had a lover who slept with another women and Rand did not tolerate it at all.
Vague memory though so I may have that wrong. Been a long time since I read about it.