I wish to declare war on a foreign country.

[Le Jacquelope]

Forget lobbying the Government to waste billions of dollars on new aircraft carriers, or signing up as a merc to go against the nasty foreigners.

Why bother when I can send Rhythmdvl and a few other members of the Straight Dope Message Board to "empower" them? They'll be extinct in a generation, and I can move right in and establish me some vacation property.

As long as they don't identify themselves as Americans the U.N. shouldn't be able to figure out what nation was responsible.

BTW Rhythmdvl do really believe you could win a debate with a head of lettuce, much less empower someone else to do anything else besides become religious just to think God they're not you?

Feh.

[RickJay]

It helps if you provide links to posts by the people you seem to think you're so much smarter than.

[KidScruffy]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

They'll be extinct in a generation, and I can move right in

Brilliant! I'll just wait for the heat death of the universe, then everyone will be dead, and it will be mine! All mine!

[Ravenman]

Mods, can we just ban this troll already?

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

He's sending dopers to destroy aircraft carriers with lettuce?

[MichaelEmouse]

Originally Posted by Ravenman

Mods, can we just ban this troll already?

Does anyone remember the woman, who, in a thread about college education, kept insisting others were inferior to her because they didn't have a degree from a school as good as hers? She also was against a woman asking her man to marry. I can't remember her name, she was banned so quickly.

Then there was ivan astikov. Ostensibly banned for not obeying some rules but really, he was banned for being a tremendous cunt.

If they were banned, I cannot think of a better candidate than Jacqui.


Also, would it be possible to arrange for someone in India to do the banning?

[zoid]

Honestly all I ever see from him is...

LeJ: PREPOSTEROUS PREMISE

Other poster: WELL THOUGHT OUT LOGICAL RESPONSE

LeJ: "Fuck You! I'm am a GOD to you MORONS!"

The reason all his threads are in the pit is because personal insults are his only debate tool.

[Lord Ashtar]

Originally Posted by MichaelEmouse

Also, would it be possible to arrange for someone in India to do the banning?

Maybe Rico could do it.

[wevets]

Originally Posted by Attack from the 3rd dimension

He's sending dopers to destroy aircraft carriers with lettuce?

I'd pay to see that movie.

[El_Kabong]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

Forget lobbying the Government to waste billions of dollars on new aircraft carriers, or signing up as a merc to go against the nasty foreigners.

Why bother when I can send Rhythmdvl and a few other members of the Straight Dope Message Board to "empower" them? They'll be extinct in a generation, and I can move right in and establish me some vacation property.

As long as they don't identify themselves as Americans the U.N. shouldn't be able to figure out what nation was responsible.

I'm sure the above has some deep meaning to you, but speaking as some guy wandering by the thread, it makes next to no sense at all.

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by Attack from the 3rd dimension

He's sending dopers to destroy aircraft carriers with lettuce?

Dopers are just that badass.

[Oakminster]

Originally Posted by Attack from the 3rd dimension

He's sending dopers to destroy aircraft carriers with lettuce?

And the number of thy counting shall be 3, Hi Opal!

[Clothahump]

Originally Posted by Ravenman

Mods, can we just ban this troll already?

Second.

Or we can all just put him on ignore. I did, but I still have to put up with people quoting and responding to his drivel as if it had meaning or value.

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by El_Kabong

I'm sure the above has some deep meaning to you, but speaking as some guy wandering by the thread, it makes next to no sense at all.

You have two superfluous words in your post: they are "next to".

[Le Jacquelope]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

Second.

Or we can all just put him on ignore.

Oooh, put me on ignore and declare victory. Isn't that what you accuse me of doing?

I don't give a rat's ass if you put me on ignore. What I say is based on facts that you cannot ignore. It's almost worth it to make you put your blinders fully on so you won't have any idea what hit you when this country's economy takes a nosedive.

Hell, when it happens, you're too stupid to realize that I told you so.

[(mostly) Harmless]

Thirded.

[Finagle]

Originally Posted by Attack from the 3rd dimension

He's sending dopers to destroy aircraft carriers with lettuce?

Big enough iceberg lettuce might do it.

[Airman Doors, USAF]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

Oooh, put me on ignore and declare victory. Isn't that what you accuse me of doing?

I don't give a rat's ass if you put me on ignore. What I say is based on facts that you cannot ignore. It's almost worth it to make you put your blinders fully on so you won't have any idea what hit you when this country's economy takes a nosedive.

Hell, when it happens, you're too stupid to realize that I told you so.

What facts? I've yet to see anything but blather from you.

[Idle Thoughts]

Originally Posted by ravenman

mods, can we just ban this troll already?

Huh. Seriously.

[Little Nemo]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

Why bother when I can send Rhythmdvl and a few other members of the Straight Dope Message Board to "empower" them?

Sounds like LJ has finally figured out outsourcing.

[zoid]

Originally Posted by Little Nemo

Sounds like LJ has finally figured out outsourcing.

You just woke up my kids asshole!
(OK - I admit it, I woke them up laughing)

[Idle Thoughts]

Originally Posted by zoid

You just woke up my kids asshole!
(OK - I admit it, I woke them up laughing)

Who knew your kid's asshole was such a light sleeper?
(I've heard cream might help with that)

[PlainJain]

Originally Posted by Finagle

Big enough iceberg lettuce might do it.

He could grip it by the husk.

[Le Jacquelope]

Originally Posted by Airman Doors, USAF

What facts? I've yet to see anything but blather from you.

You've yet to see anything outside your parents' basement.

Originally Posted by zoid

You just woke up my kids asshole!
(OK - I admit it, I woke them up laughing)

You know, the best thing you could do for your kids is to give them to foster care. They'd stand a much better chance at growing up at all, much less well-adjusted.

[Le Jacquelope]

Originally Posted by zoid

Honestly all I ever see from him is...

LeJ: PREPOSTEROUS PREMISE

Other poster: WELL THOUGHT OUT LOGICAL RESPONSE

LeJ: "Fuck You! I'm am a GOD to you MORONS!"

The reason all his threads are in the pit is because personal insults are his only debate tool.

That's what you see. This, on the other hand, is reality.

LeJ: [Something, anything]

You: [Incoherent babbling that can hardly be identified by sapient beings as a premise, counterpoint, or anything else besides gibberish]

LeJ: [Breaks out the universal translator to decipher your babbling]

You: [Hurl insults]

LeJ: [Hurls them back]

You: HE INSULTED US! HE'S A TROLL! PUT HIM ON IGNORE! Oh wait, didn't we call him a coward for putting us on ignore... er, NAH! BAN HIM! HE'S A TROLL! PUT HIM ON IGNORE! WE WIN!!!


The moral of the story: any hominid that draws breath is GOD to you morons.

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

You've yet to see anything outside your parents' basement.

That's a dumb response when it's aimed at me, and it's a dumb response when it's aimed at him.

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

That's what you see.

Well, there's a reason why that's what zoid sees.

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

The moral of the story: any hominid that draws breath is GOD to you morons.

[surrounded by literalists]

This lettuce...are we talking genuine military grade lettuce, or imported lettuce from various South American countries? Do we have to test it for E. coli first? I mean, doesn't the USA frown on biological warfare, except in the case of deliberate small pox exposure of the Native Americans in the 18th century? Do we have to provide dressing with that? God, this could be the next political nightmare!

[Harborwolf]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

You've yet to see anything outside your parents' basement.


You know, the best thing you could do for your kids is to give them to foster care. They'd stand a much better chance at growing up at all, much less well-adjusted.

Damn. Obvious troll much? Now you're just trying too hard. Basement based insults were only effective before everyone and their grandmother could access the internet from their cell phones, and suggesting that someone's children should be taken away is a clear attempt to cause rage.

So yeah. Your troll grade stands at a "D." You made an attempt, so I can't really fail you. You just didn't put any effort into it.

[Le Jacquelope]

Originally Posted by Der Trihs

That's a dumb response when it's aimed at me, and it's a dumb response when it's aimed at him.

Well, there's a reason why that's what zoid sees.

Fortunately what he sees matters very little in the scheme of things.

You want to know the reality as it is on Terra Firma and not an insular hole in the ground like the SDMB? Most people on this forum use a lot of big words that they don't really understand and make a lot of arguments that THEY think are complex and thought out, but yet at even the slightest hint of sunlight these same arguments self-immolate like thermite.

I have been accused of declaring victory, claiming to be GOD, whatever. All I ever do is read eulogies and scoop the ashes of self-destructed pro-offshoring arguments into urns. When it comes to someone getting their ass kicked like a soccer ball people like Zoid and Airman Doors, USAF do it entirely to themselves. I just provide commentary. That is all. For that I'm called a troll by people who have had as much contact with reality as Dick Cheney has had military combat experience.

The mistake I made on the SDMB boils down to exactly one thing: assuming that intelligent discussion ever happened here. The moment people started arguing the bullshit that tariffs make things more expensive while ignoring the fact that offshoring exacts HUGE costs upon society (unemployment, reduced tax revenues, swollen deficit spending to preserve the social safety net or drastic program cuts which drive millions into poverty), that was time to write this place off as a training ground for preschool admittance.

[Harborwolf]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

Fortunately what he sees matters very little in the scheme of things.

You want to know the reality as it is on Terra Firma and not an insular hole in the ground like the SDMB? Most people on this forum use a lot of big words that they don't really understand and make a lot of arguments that THEY think are complex and thought out, but yet at even the slightest hint of sunlight these same arguments self-immolate like thermite.

That's why I come here. Keeps me from having to face life in the real world and makes me feel more smarter, whereas you clearly have been to Jupiter which has made you more stupider.

I have been accused of declaring victory, claiming to be GOD, whatever. All I ever do is read eulogies and scoop the ashes of self-destructed pro-offshoring arguments into urns. When it comes to someone getting their ass kicked like a soccer ball people like Zoid and Airman Doors, USAF do it entirely to themselves. I just provide commentary. That is all. For that I'm called a troll by people who have had as much contact with reality as Dick Cheney has had military combat experience.

I remain convinced that there is a way to put a beat behind this paragraph, fix the words a bit, and make it into the nerdiest rap battle in history.

The mistake I made on the SDMB boils down to exactly one thing: assuming that intelligent discussion ever happened here. The moment people started arguing the bullshit that tariffs make things more expensive while ignoring the fact that offshoring exacts HUGE costs upon society (unemployment, reduced tax revenues, swollen deficit spending to preserve the social safety net or drastic program cuts which drive millions into poverty), that was time to write this place off as a training ground for preschool admittance.

It actually is a training ground for preschool. That's why there is an entire forum dedicated to getting yourself potty trained or learning how to fake it. My advice is to just hold your wee-wee as preschool only lasts about four hours anyways.

[Le Jacquelope]

Originally Posted by Harborwolf

Damn. Obvious troll much?

That was not an attempt to cause rage. It was meant in all seriousness and with alarmed concern over the harm that could come to a young mind that sees Zoid as a parent.

You are only right about one thing: I didn't put any effort into trolling, because I wasn't trolling. However I do understand your need to call me a troll - it's the only way your limited mind can cope when talking to an actual human being, which to you must seem like a "GOD." Pity that there's something like 6 billion other humans out there who are also "GOD" compared to you.

[Le Jacquelope]

Originally Posted by Harborwolf

That's why I come here. Keeps me from having to face life in the real world and makes me feel more smarter, whereas you clearly have been to Jupiter which has made you more stupider.

I remain convinced that there is a way to put a beat behind this paragraph, fix the words a bit, and make it into the nerdiest rap battle in history.

It actually is a training ground for preschool. That's why there is an entire forum dedicated to getting yourself potty trained or learning how to fake it. My advice is to just hold your wee-wee as preschool only lasts about four hours anyways.

Wee-wee. Another big word (by your standards) you know precious little about. Don't worry, though, when you're through training, in about 15 or so years, you'll get told what a wee-wee actually is. Not that you'll understand. Hint: it's that pubic hair you piss from.

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

However I do understand your need to call me a troll - it's the only way your limited mind can cope when talking to an actual human being, which to you must seem like a "GOD."

Charlie Sheen, is that you?

[Gyrate]

Originally Posted by Finagle

Big enough iceberg lettuce might do it.

Or perhaps a roquette attack.

I'm thinking the OP is going for death-by-Mod here - there's nothing in this thread by the OP except puerile abuse and smug internet wankery. Looks an awful lot like trolling to me. But once he's banned the OP will get to crow on other messageboards about how he was so superior to us that we had to ban him lest we all fall before his towering intellect. Or, y'know, "WINNING!"

[Harborwolf]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

That was not an attempt to cause rage. It was meant in all seriousness and with alarmed concern over the harm that could come to a young mind that sees Zoid as a parent.

I do enjoy seeing such a dramatic statement complemented by an internet user name. "...a young mind that sees Zoid as a parent." It's just one of those rare things that you don't get to experience in real life. Course, the way parents are naming their kids nowadays I'm sure we'll see a kid named Zoid soon enough. Damn hippies.

What were we talking about again? Oh yeah! Stay off my lawn!!

You are only right about one thing: I didn't put any effort into trolling, because I wasn't trolling. However I do understand your need to call me a troll - it's the only way your limited mind can cope when talking to an actual human being, which to you must seem like a "GOD." Pity that there's something like 6 billion other humans out there who are also "GOD" compared to you.

Well, there's six billion and twelve that are god compared to me, but at least they're polite about it. Except for Clive. He's a dick, and it's not just me that thinks so.

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

Wee-wee. Another big word (by your standards) you know precious little about. Don't worry, though, when you're through training, in about 15 or so years, you'll get told what a wee-wee actually is. Not that you'll understand. Hint: it's that pubic hair you piss from.

I should be honest and say that I've given up on potty training long ago. I figure by the time I learn how to be out of diapers, I'll be old enough to wear them again so really why bother. Not that your mother complained about it last night.




I didn't really mean that last sentence. I'm sure your mother is/was a very nice lady. It just seemed that that sort of "zinger" was the level of discourse you preferred and I thought it would make you more comfortable. Have a groovy day sir and/or madam.

[Harborwolf]

Originally Posted by Gyrate

Or perhaps a roquette attack.

I'm thinking the OP is going for death-by-Mod here - there's nothing in this thread by the OP except puerile abuse and smug internet wankery. Looks an awful lot like trolling to me. But once he's banned the OP will get to crow on other messageboards about how he was so superior to us that we had to ban him lest we all fall before his towering intellect. Or, y'know, "WINNING!"

Death by mod? With this approach? I hope not. Saddest attempt I've seen yet. It'd be like trying for death by cop by holding yourself hostage with what is clearly a broken NERF gun. Just seems like his heart isn't in it. This barely qualifies as a cry for help. More of a shrug for help. That could be a measure of his disdain for us. If only we'd been smarter. Then we'd get a real flame out.

Now I'm just depressed.

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

Originally Posted by wevets

I'd pay to see that movie.

This could be the original script for what became Independence Day.

Originally Posted by surrounded by literalists

This lettuce...are we talking genuine military grade lettuce, or imported lettuce from various South American countries? Do we have to test it for E. coli first? I mean, doesn't the USA frown on biological warfare, except in the case of deliberate small pox exposure of the Native Americans in the 18th century? Do we have to provide dressing with that? God, this could be the next political nightmare!

Don't outsource the death lettuce, or we'll have recursive threads.

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

The mistake I made on the SDMB boils down to exactly one thing: assuming that intelligent discussion ever happened here.

There are very good points to be made on your side of the discussion. You might even be right, but I've never been able to tolerate your threads to find out, because you can't keep up your end of the fight without going nuclear right off the bat (There's a mixed metaphor for you). You're screaming about what ignorant monkey poop everyone else is before most of us have even found the thread.

The mistake you made is letting yourself become a spittle flecked self-parody.

[Gyrate]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

The mistake I made on the SDMB boils down to exactly one thing: assuming that intelligent discussion ever happened here.

If every thread you're in is a trainwreck of idiocy, the logical thing would be to consider the common factor.

Originally Posted by Attack from the 3rd dimension

Don't outsource the death lettuce

Oh, if I had a dime for every time someone said that to me...

[zoid]

Le Jackass has demonstrated the conduct I described in my previous post.
Is anyone shocked?

[msmith537]

Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope

BTW Rhythmdvl do really believe you could win a debate with a head of lettuce,

Do you mean to say that you are in charge of lettuce or that your head is actually made of lettuce?

[Revtim]

Originally Posted by RickJay

It helps if you provide links to posts by the people you seem to think you're so much smarter than.

I second the request for a link, please

[Really Not All That Bright]

It's not the head of lettuce you have to worry about. It's the fist of melon.

[ugly ripe tomato]

Originally Posted by MichaelEmouse

Does anyone remember the woman, who, in a thread about college education, kept insisting others were inferior to her because they didn't have a degree from a school as good as hers? She also was against a woman asking her man to marry. I can't remember her name, she was banned so quickly.

That'd be Trubie. I also remember her shitting up a thread about parenting by insisting that one could catch hepatitis from a dirty diaper.

[Try2B Comprehensive]

The previous Head of Lettuce got sacked after the last e-coli scare.

The new Head, I'm told, is far more clever.

[Sailboat]

I was hoping to find out what this was about instead of joining in a pile-on. Unfortunately, I can't tell from reading the OP. Links might help, but a cogent explanation would help more. If you're expecting me to call up everyone's post histories and do a lot of research just to try and grasp what this is about, you'll find my interest waning rapidly.

[Death of Rats]

Originally Posted by Attack from the 3rd dimension

He's sending dopers to destroy aircraft carriers with lettuce?

A plan so crazy, so audacious, it just might WORK!


but probably not.

Originally Posted by Revtim

I second the request for a link, please

Somehow, I doubt that would really help clarify his position.

[ugly ripe tomato]

Originally Posted by surrounded by literalists

This lettuce...are we talking genuine military grade lettuce, or imported lettuce from various South American countries? Do we have to test it for E. coli first? I mean, doesn't the USA frown on biological warfare, except in the case of deliberate small pox exposure of the Native Americans in the 18th century? Do we have to provide dressing with that? God, this could be the next political nightmare!

Well, the Russians are insisting on Russian dressing on iceberg wedges, but the French denounced it as vile orange swill, pfui! They are insisting on mesclun greens with white wine vinaigrette and chevre, and mocking the clueless Americans for daring to associate that other vile orange swill dressing with France. In the meantime, the Italians are at each others' throats over the croutons vs. no croutons deliberations, the Swiss are pondering why everyone is assuming this has to be some lettuce-based concoction when the definition of "salad" includes so much more, and thanks to deficit spending the Americans are having to resort to ripping dandelions out of their yards as part of "Operation Salad Daze."

[Try2B Comprehensive]

It is more serious than you think. See here:

Silvio Berlusconi will use the start of a global food security summit in Rome on Monday as a pretext for not turning up at the resumption of a trial in which he is accused of corruption.

Also, while Airman Doors may be disagreed with, I've never seen any reason whatever to disrespect him. You really should apologize, Jac.

[Merijeek]

Originally Posted by Attack from the 3rd dimension

He's sending dopers to destroy aircraft carriers with lettuce?

RAIL GUN! RAIL GUN! RAIL GUNNNNNNN!

-Joe, they can see my erection from space!

[Living Well Is Best Revenge]

I wish a mod would explain why this dumbass hasn't been banned yet. It seems others have been banned for lesser violations. But of course I could be wrong.