When I was on my way in to work today, I saw a sign that said United Way Slogan Contest. It had a bunch more text under that, but I didn’t bother to stop to read it. I’m guessing that the gist is that they’re trying to get more people to contribute.
So have at it, Dopers. What slogan could I submit that would almost guarantee my termination?
Nobody? I’ll start you off:
The United Way: Give as if your job depended on it.
United Way: Why make ALL of your charitable donations to the nonprofits you feel deserve them? Just give them to us and we’ll decide how much your charity deserves!
Give to the United Way: We spread the wealth, with the CEO getting most of it. 
We’re going to have a hard time putting that on a button.
100% compliance: A great way to kiss your boss’s ass.
The United Way: Give, or else you might need our services very soon.
The United Way: Don’t be the cause of 99.9% compliance.
The United Way: When’s your annual review, again?
The United Way: Pay up or the secretary will stick $5 in your envelope herself.
This is clearly the front runner.
Now with 20% less fraud!
Want to breathe easier? Loosening that noose is gonna cost!
I think you nailed it right out of the box.
“United Way: Because Your Personal Charitable Habits Are OUR Business.”
My way or the highway. Always give United Way to ensure a sound future.
OK, uh…
United Way: Death to LYBUNTS
United Way: If I were you, I’d write that check
United Way: We’re making a list and checking it twice
United Way: You know those really dumb locally charities you don’t care about? Well now you can pay for 'em.
United Way: Yup, we still support the bigoted Boy Scouts.
United Way: F*ck you, that’s why.
United Way: Really? A dollar?
United Way: Who doesn’t want lots of charities to have your name, number and email to flood you with more handout request?
Either of these on a button:
**
The United Way.** done in a curved line underneath:
This face(ignore the animation)
or
These eyes.
We have another contender for thread-winner.
Seconded.
I like that one and the “my way or the highway” option.
Thanks to you, it works for NONE of us, the United Way.
Bri2k
United Way: Ruining Things for Charities Since 1887
Thanks to you it works for all of the United Way.
Give Until it Hurts, You Cheap Bastards!
Give to the United Way: You want to be a team player, don’t you?
United Way: This is totally not a shakedown.
