Things that would be the start of something if they happened in a movie

In real life, sometimes strange or interesting things happen…but they don’t go anywhere. But in a movie, NOTHING happens without a reason. If someone coughs, it’s not because they just had a tickle in their throat. It’s the start of a disease. If a guy flirts with a cute girl but they part without exchanging numbers, you know somehow they’ll see each other again.

What are some examples you’ve come across? I was inspired to make this thread by the thread by Hello Again where he was worried that his friend hadn’t come over but she’d just slept late. In real life, it was nothing, but in a movie…she would have been sucked into a vortex or something. I also got some weird phone calls on Friday – about 3 or 4 missed calls in a row with no voicemail from an unknown number. As people reasonably pointed out, it was probably a wrong number but of course if it were a movie it would be a stalker.

Any others?

Any auditory or especially visual hallucinacion would herald a ghost, demon or descent into insanity, rather than a normal consequence of stress plus lack of sleep.

You’re reading in bed and notice a slight vibration. You look up from your book and the bed is vibrating strongly. And then it starts to shake. It wakes the cat who arches his back and hisses. The bed is shaking so violently now it is shimmying across the floor. The ceiling fan/ light fixture starts to swing. . …

Oh, it’s a rare mid-Atlantic earthquake and not demon possession.

You child’s imaginary friend . . . is imaginary and soon forgotten.

You wake up in the morning feeling groggy with no memory of the previous night and your nether regions hurt. In a movie? Abducted and probed by aliens. Of course its a mystery that must be solved to reveal the answer and the aliens probably come back a few more times. In real life? A bachelor party gone bad that you hear about later on your answering machine.

Last night I got home late, my husband was out of town, and I decided to strip off and take a shower. Miraculously, I was not brutally slain.

Depends what kind of movie it was. If you were in a teen comedy, the high schooler next door was peeping at you from a tree in your back yard and you would have found out when he fell out of the tree.

And if it was porn movie the pizza delivery guy show up shortly. Or Chinese if you are into that hot east meets west kinda action.

If a woman vomits, she’s pregnant.

Only if she vomits in the morning. But then, I suppose that women in movies never vomit at any other time, anyway.

Sometimes I sneeze. That’s it, just a sneeze. I’m not sick or anything. It’s not a sign of anything other than the fact that I had to sneeze.

If you bump into someone and accidentally knock a book or a stack of papers out of their hands, odds are you will never see them again in your life. In a movie, you’d be sleeping with each other in three days.

I have a bruise on my arm. I bumped into something. My husband did not beat me up.

The second one could never happen. In porn movies all Asians are women - there’s no such thing as an Asian man.

Also depends on whether or not she was soaping herself down in slow motion while making mouth open - eyes shut faces. If she showered like a normal person, she’s safe.

If you have to brake suddenly for a pedestrian in a crosswalk, you may briefly make eye contact, but then drive on and never think of it again.

In a movie, you and the pedestrian’s destinies will instantly have become intertwined, and your lives will never be the same again!

Yeah, I’ve “met cute” countless times, and never saw the guys again.

Yeah, the “meet cute” thing is so frustrating in real life. It happens nonromantically, too – you meet someone you think you hit it off with platonically and sometimes just never see them again. But if this were a romantic comedy, the girl you fight over the last dress with would end up being the one you confide all your man troubles to!

A couple of weeks ago, my GPS routed me over a dirt road. It got narrower and narrower, and the houses started looking shabbier. A short while after that, the dirt road intersected with a paved road and I arrived at my destination in another mile or so.

…and weren’t grotesquely murdered by a deranged family of inbred hillbillies?

Color me relieved!