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View Poll Results: How do you pee?
I pee through the fly 69 30.26%
I pee like a normal person 124 54.39%
I don't wear underwear 3 1.32%
I'm a woman, but I've earned the right to vote 32 14.04%
Voters: 228. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 11-15-2011, 09:37 PM
EKDS5k EKDS5k is offline
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Men's underwear, fly or no fly?

Most men's underwear comes with a fly. That is a hole in the front, through which you're apparently supposed to insert your penis while while peeing. I have never used this, and until this thread, I was completely unaware that there were people who did. I always assumed it was just some holdover from earlier times, like the way men's shirts have the buttons on the right and women's on the left.

So. Who uses the fly, and who undoes their belt and buttons, and then pulls the waistband down, like normal, god-fearing* Americans**?

*I'm atheist
**and Canadian
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  #2  
Old 11-15-2011, 09:42 PM
BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed is offline
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I used to pull the waistband down. For some reason I changed, and now I can't imagine why I used to take the time to undo the belt and all. It's fly for me all the way.

And someone in that thread mentioned it depended on what they were wearing-- maybe that should be a poll option, if you can still edit?
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  #3  
Old 11-15-2011, 09:48 PM
EKDS5k EKDS5k is offline
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Originally Posted by BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed View Post
I used to pull the waistband down. For some reason I changed, and now I can't imagine why I used to take the time to undo the belt and all. It's fly for me all the way.

And someone in that thread mentioned it depended on what they were wearing-- maybe that should be a poll option, if you can still edit?
Too late, though I probably wouldn't add it anyway. I hate polls that try to cover every conceivable combination of circumstances. I'm looking for general opinions, not gathering statistics.

If you do it sometimes, more often than the occasional "What the hell is this for I don't get it" experimentation, then you're a fly user, and you should vote accordingly.
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  #4  
Old 11-15-2011, 09:50 PM
Argent Towers Argent Towers is offline
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If using the fly is the abnormal thing to do, then why the fuck is the fly there?
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  #5  
Old 11-15-2011, 09:58 PM
EKDS5k EKDS5k is offline
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It's a holdover from something something. Same reason we have nipples.
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  #6  
Old 11-15-2011, 09:59 PM
Jake Jones Jake Jones is offline
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Poll fail!

I pee like a normal person: through the fly.

You assumed that the fly on men's underpants was a decorative nod to our ancestors? WTF? Why would I want to unbuckle my belt, unbutton my pants and unzip them, followed by stretching out my boxer shorts by pulling them over my dick before urinating. Why on earth would I ever do that, when I can unzip and fish my dick out of my pants without disturbing my belt, pants button or tucking my shirt back in when I'm done?

Cui bono?

Last edited by Jake Jones; 11-15-2011 at 10:00 PM..
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  #7  
Old 11-15-2011, 09:59 PM
Argent Towers Argent Towers is offline
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Originally Posted by EKDS5k View Post
It's a holdover from something something. Same reason we have nipples.
No. That doesn't cut any ice. What could it be a holdover from? Underwear is designed by human beings, it's not the product of millions of years of evolution. Humans who design clothes in this day and age usually design them to be functional, and the fly is not just there for the hell of it. It has a purpose. Use it.

Last edited by Argent Towers; 11-15-2011 at 10:00 PM..
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  #8  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:02 PM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed View Post
I used to pull the waistband down. For some reason I changed, and now I can't imagine why I used to take the time to undo the belt and all.
Why do you undo your belt?
Perhaps my...never mind.
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  #9  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:07 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is offline
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It's too much work to fumble around and try to pull the damned thing through the fly.

1) Undo zipper.
2) Pull waistband down with left thumb.
3) Whip out Mr. Happy.
4) Pee.
5) Put Mr. Happy back in.
6) Wonder why an additional 1/2 ounce of pee just decided to expel in my underwear.

It's pretty simple, really.
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  #10  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:07 PM
Jake Jones Jake Jones is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivorousplant View Post
Why do you undo your belt?
Perhaps my...never mind.
To pull your pants down? Or did you think the OP was pulling his shorts down to avoid using the inner fly while embracing all that is right about the outer fly?
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  #11  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:08 PM
EKDS5k EKDS5k is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Argent Towers View Post
No. That doesn't cut any ice. What could it be a holdover from? Underwear is designed by human beings, it's not the product of millions of years of evolution. Humans who design clothes in this day and age usually design them to be functional, and the fly is not just there for the hell of it. It has a purpose. Use it.
Whoa, serious business. There are lots of parts of clothes that have no function and we wear because we've always worn them, or for fashion. Lapels, neckties, watch pockets, anything with frills, and women's shirts still having buttons on the left immediately spring to mind. Basically everything that isn't a jumpsuit with pockets is form over function.

Last edited by EKDS5k; 11-15-2011 at 10:10 PM..
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  #12  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:22 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is offline
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I usually go over the top. It was not until relatively recently (like within the last year or two) that I discovered the utility of being able to unzip my fly without unbuckling my belt and going through the hole in the boxers and the pants to pee. This does come in handy every once in awhile, although that once in awhile seems to always be when I'm wearing briefs that don't have the slot.
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  #13  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:22 PM
Tarwater Tarwater is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Argent Towers View Post
No. That doesn't cut any ice. What could it be a holdover from? Underwear is designed by human beings, it's not the product of millions of years of evolution. Humans who design clothes in this day and age usually design them to be functional, and the fly is not just there for the hell of it. It has a purpose. Use it.
I'm sure that you'll be equally shocked and indignant to discover that -- prepare yourself! -- not everybody uses the watch pocket in their pants to hold pocket watches!

Last edited by Tarwater; 11-15-2011 at 10:23 PM..
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  #14  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:28 PM
Jake Jones Jake Jones is offline
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Originally Posted by EKDS5k View Post
Basically everything that isn't a jumpsuit with pockets is form over function.
A jumpsuit with pockets and a fly certainly qualifies as another exception.

I'm honestly bewildered at the early poll results. You have underpants with a fly. You have trousers with a fly. You have a penis. These things exist in harmony with each other. Why would you deny that? What justification is there to not use the flys?

I guess if you wear briefs or even boxer briefs, it could make sense. If anyone wants to add that bit of information to their post, it could be illuminating.

Last edited by Jake Jones; 11-15-2011 at 10:30 PM..
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  #15  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:47 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is offline
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Originally Posted by Jake Jones View Post
If anyone wants to add that bit of information to their post, it could be illuminating.
The fly on underwear is a tangled weave of seams and flaps and false seams and false flaps. I just want to pull out my penis and piss, not solve a fabric Rubik's Cube.
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  #16  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:52 PM
I Made French Toast For You I Made French Toast For You is offline
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I honestly had no idea people un-buckled, un-buttoned, un-zipped and pulled down the waistband to pee. And I'm bewildered that, so far, it's the majority.

Why tear apart and rebuild the house when you can go in and out the front door?
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  #17  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:53 PM
Jake Jones Jake Jones is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
The fly on underwear is a tangled weave of seams and flaps and false seams and false flaps. I just want to pull out my penis and piss, not solve a fabric Rubik's Cube.
It's unfortunate that your underpants are malfunctioning. I recommend purchasing and wearing underwear that doesn't suck.
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  #18  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:58 PM
Procrustus Procrustus is offline
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It's surely a wacky world. I'm still not over the fact that some men pee sitting down and some (claim) to enjoy dancing.
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  #19  
Old 11-15-2011, 11:07 PM
sitchensis sitchensis is offline
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I don’t unbuckle my belt or unbutton my pants and I still don’t use the fly. I use the last three fingers on my left hand to hold the elastic down and away from my package.
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  #20  
Old 11-15-2011, 11:10 PM
Cubsfan Cubsfan is offline
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I normally don't use the dick hole (you know Rosie Odonell does according to Dave Chapelle?). The only time I do is when I am in dress uniform (military) and step up to the urinal to pee. I have shirt garters and belts and undershirts and all kinds of shit folded and tucked neatly to keep the shirt looking sharp. If I want to go over the fence I have to pull the front of my shirt oout and unbutton the bottom button to pee, which is harder with shirt garters on.

F the PACKERS!!
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  #21  
Old 11-15-2011, 11:19 PM
RTFirefly RTFirefly is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I Made French Toast For You View Post
I honestly had no idea people un-buckled, un-buttoned, un-zipped and pulled down the waistband to pee. And I'm bewildered that, so far, it's the majority.
Me too. You just unzip your pants fly, pull down your underwear waistband, and pee.

When I was a kid, nobody used the 'fly' in the underpants. (We didn't call it that; we didn't even know it had a name.) We were all 'wtf is that for, and why would anybody use it to pee through?' Our consensus was that it was an excuse to put an extra layer of fabric front and center to catch the occasional drip.

You'd have to pull both of those layers of fabric out of the way, one from each side, to pee through the opening - much easier to hook a thumb through the waistband and pull down.
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  #22  
Old 11-15-2011, 11:22 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
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Over the band, like God intended.
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  #23  
Old 11-15-2011, 11:35 PM
Jake Jones Jake Jones is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Siam Sam View Post
Over the band, like God intended.
Heresy! If god intended you to pee over the band he wouldn't have given you a fly!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cubsfan
I normally don't use the dick hole...
You and I have different definitions of that term, son. I can assure you that mine is required for urinating.
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  #24  
Old 11-15-2011, 11:46 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
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Well, waddya know? Just found some of my underwear does have a fly. I've gotten so used to no fly that I've been sensibly ignoring it.

It's not like Mr. Giant could fit through there anyway.
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  #25  
Old 11-15-2011, 11:51 PM
EKDS5k EKDS5k is offline
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Originally Posted by Jake Jones View Post
Heresy! If god intended you to pee over the band he wouldn't have given you a fly!.
If we're going to bring him into it, then we're back to him giving us nipples.
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  #26  
Old 11-15-2011, 11:59 PM
RadicalPi RadicalPi is online now
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I guess I'm an outlier. I use the fly on my pants (aka trousers), and then pull the waistband of the underwear down from there with my right thumb. The left hand is for directional control.

So, micturation is a two-handed job for me. No wonder I don't do that thing where you use an outstretched arm pushed up against the wall to lean as I pee.

Last edited by RadicalPi; 11-15-2011 at 11:59 PM..
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  #27  
Old 11-16-2011, 12:07 AM
Jake Jones Jake Jones is offline
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Originally Posted by EKDS5k View Post
If we're going to bring him into it, then we're back to him giving us nipples.
He is a quixotic god, and a bit fickle at times. I'll grant you that.

I'm standing firm on the fly thing, though. God meant for you to put your penis through the fly. That's why he sewed it into your shorts. Q.E.D.
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  #28  
Old 11-16-2011, 01:40 AM
Richard Pearse Richard Pearse is offline
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I've never owned underwear that has the fly. I've always associated it with kids underwear for some reason.
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  #29  
Old 11-16-2011, 01:46 AM
NotBob13 NotBob13 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
It's too much work to fumble around and try to pull the damned thing through the fly.


6) Wonder why an additional 1/2 ounce of pee just decided to expel in my underwear.

It's pretty simple, really.
Whenever I do this, the elastic puts upward pressure on my penis, then when I release this pressure, the final 1/2 oz. of urine dribbles out. That's why I use the fly, unless the fly is small and restrictive.
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  #30  
Old 11-16-2011, 03:26 AM
Nametag Nametag is offline
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As the wise Callahan observed, "It is impossible for a man to piss properly with his unit bent in the shape of the letter Z." When I was a kid, I used the fly on my tighty-whiteys, and had to use both hands to hold it open. I use one thumb to hold down the waistband of my colorful, manly briefs.
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  #31  
Old 11-16-2011, 03:35 AM
Capitaine Zombie Capitaine Zombie is offline
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fly me to the moon...
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  #32  
Old 11-16-2011, 04:47 AM
steronz steronz is offline
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I don't understand how "I pee through the fly" and "I pee like a normal person" are different options.
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  #33  
Old 11-16-2011, 05:48 AM
IvoryTowerDenizen IvoryTowerDenizen is offline
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Man, this thread has turned into quite the pissing contest.
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  #34  
Old 11-16-2011, 07:23 AM
silenus silenus is offline
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Unzip, pull down waistband, flop the hose over the top and pee. Belt stays fastened. Shake, reel, zip, leave. Flies are for frogs.

Last edited by silenus; 11-16-2011 at 07:23 AM..
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  #35  
Old 11-16-2011, 07:53 AM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IvoryTowerDenizen View Post
Man, this thread has turned into quite the pissing contest.
I believe that we should all take the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Index test, however one spells it.
There seems to be a correlation between being laid back and cool and going over the top, as opposed to being obsessive, controlling and highly agitated and going through the fly.
I am not concerned, Gentlemen, with how you manipulate Mr. Happy as long as you keep him away from me and mine.
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  #36  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:06 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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I always wear underwear when I fly. Damn TSA.
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  #37  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:08 AM
aerodave aerodave is offline
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If I wear boxers that have a "low overlap" fly, I might be inclined to just unzip and go through the pod bay doors. But I typically wear boxer-briefs, which have a "high overlap" brief-like fly. Snaking my, uh, trouser snake through that series of fabric baffles is no easy task. Mut maybe that's just me

So in most circumstances, I'm on over-the-top guy. It's honestly easier than threading my wang through that maze.
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  #38  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:15 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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I have to wonder if men that pull down the waistband are wearing tighty whities. I've worn boxers for half of my life, and nothing is easier than using the fly.
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  #39  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:24 AM
Thudlow Boink Thudlow Boink is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake Jones View Post
Poll fail!

I pee like a normal person: through the fly.

You assumed that the fly on men's underpants was a decorative nod to our ancestors? WTF? Why would I want to unbuckle my belt, unbutton my pants and unzip them, followed by stretching out my boxer shorts by pulling them over my dick before urinating. Why on earth would I ever do that, when I can unzip and fish my dick out of my pants without disturbing my belt, pants button or tucking my shirt back in when I'm done?
This, exactly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarwater View Post
I'm sure that you'll be equally shocked and indignant to discover that -- prepare yourself! -- not everybody uses the watch pocket in their pants to hold pocket watches!
Not using the fly of your underwear isn't like not using the watch pocket of your pants to hold a pocket watch—it's like not using the pockets of your pants, period. It's fine with me if you don't want to put anything in your pockets, but why on earth would you think it's not normal for people to do so?
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  #40  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:27 AM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Originally Posted by Thudlow Boink View Post
It's fine with me if you don't want to put anything in your pockets, but why on earth would you think it's not normal for people to do so?
See post 35.
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  #41  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:27 AM
Fear Itself Fear Itself is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed View Post
I used to pull the waistband down. For some reason I changed, and now I can't imagine why I used to take the time to undo the belt and all.
I don't undo my belt or pants waistband, I just pull down the zipper then the waistband of my shorts.
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  #42  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:30 AM
Anaamika Anaamika is offline
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This thread is hilarious for a woman.
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  #43  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:33 AM
Leaffan Leaffan is offline
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post
I have to wonder if men that pull down the waistband are wearing tighty whities. I've worn boxers for half of my life, and nothing is easier than using the fly.
I wear boxers too. Some have the traditional Rubik's maze of a fly, and some have a button. Either way, over the fence is easier, and more importantly, quicker.
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  #44  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:33 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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Originally Posted by Thudlow Boink View Post
Not using the fly of your underwear isn't like not using the watch pocket of your pants to hold a pocket watch—it's like not using the pockets of your pants, period.
I wear my watch on my penis. That way I can tell time and pee at the same time.
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  #45  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:35 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
I wear boxers too. Some have the traditional Rubik's maze of a fly, and some have a button. Either way, over the fence is easier, and more importantly, quicker.
I've never owned any that were terribly complex. And on the ones with buttons, I just never button them.
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  #46  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:39 AM
Larry Mudd Larry Mudd is offline
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I wear boxers. Groping around through the narrow little opening of unzipped trousers, trying to get your fingers in there to negotiate the inner fly, grasping your penis and then pulling it through both openings (one of which has freaking teeth) is a lot of effort for zero gain and the added downside of a dribbly finish.

I am mystified.
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  #47  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:44 AM
silenus silenus is offline
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Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
I always wear underwear when I fly. Damn TSA.

Kilt, commando. No more problem.
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  #48  
Old 11-16-2011, 09:08 AM
Crowbar of Irony +3 Crowbar of Irony +3 is offline
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Pull waistband down for me.

I wear boxer-brief, and most of them have no fly.
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  #49  
Old 11-16-2011, 09:12 AM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
This thread is hilarious for a woman.
Fly envy!



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  #50  
Old 11-16-2011, 09:14 AM
EKDS5k EKDS5k is offline
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Originally Posted by steronz View Post
I don't understand how "I pee through the fly" and "I pee like a normal person" are different options.
The poll results are disagreeing with you.

For the record, I wore briefs as a kid, boxers later, and now boxer briefs. I have always pulled the waistband down to pee.
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