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  #1  
Old 03-09-2012, 03:38 PM
Can't Recall Can't Recall is offline
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I am an ugly WOMAN, and I hate it

I know that due to nature, the law of balance or whatever else, not everyone can be attractive, so there HAVE TO BE ugly individuals. But I just hate being on this side of the fence... in my opinion, the grass is certainly greener for beautiful individuals - especially beautiful women.

I'm plain, at best. I may not be gross looking, but I certainly don't get noticed. I live in a very male dominated society, and for example, I participate in a group in which we discuss philosophy and stuff. We're all in our 20s and we invite people to join. I was invited by my sister. Other females in the group usually invite people because they're friends with them, irrespective of their gender. But males in the group do this: they invite males who are smart, who will be able to contribute, who are intellectual, you get the point... but with females, they usually go by who is hotter and likes to party, but who also might not get bored by discussing philosophy. Yesterday we had a meeting and afterwards we had a few drinks (these college kids, huh?) and the guys were discussing female prospects for a good couple of hours... "so and so is HOT we should tell her to join..." "no, no, she's hot, but she might not like the meetings" "she's smart, but she's too ugly"

I'm pretty smart (or so I've been told), but it seems unless you're "hot" you're off of guys' radars... If brains are more important than looks, then why are looks more valued by males? I really don't get it, as the guys who participate in this group aren't statuesque Greek-god-types either... some of them are even uglier than I am!

I've been told I'm ugly on several occasions, and it sucks, sometimes I think I'd rather sacrifice a bit of IQ (but only a little) in order to be hotter... it's not even about getting laid, but about the fact that men treat hot women better... it may be just because they're horny and wanna get laid, but at least they treat them better. I often get ignored, or if I have something to say, they just don't care. It's as if being a smart woman has no value at all...

It's all about tit size, face, whatever... my face is quite plain. My tits are small. I am pear shaped (I hate shopping for the same reason). I'm not overweight, and yet I still look bad because my bottom half is too big compared to the rest of my body... I wish I had big tits and no hips... at least then I wouldn't look so matronly... "child bearing hips", ugh, I don't even wanna have kids (yet... don't think I ever will)!

So yeah it's pretty pointless and it's the inside that matters, but you know what? that's BS, if it truly were the inside that matters, bulimia, anorexia and other body image issues wouldn't exist, there would be no make up, breast implants or any other superficial crap! And I know self esteem is my responsibility, but sometimes I really hate this superficial society and wish that Hollywood would burn down... I know beautiful people didn't choose to be born beautiful, I just hate that society puts them in a pedestal to the detriment of the ugly population.
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  #2  
Old 03-09-2012, 03:49 PM
gamerunknown gamerunknown is offline
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Alcohol and video games, simultaneously and for extended periods of time (and in large quantities).

Edit: That said, it's strange that they'd even discuss attractiveness in mixed company. I guess it shows they trust you at least?

Last edited by gamerunknown; 03-09-2012 at 03:50 PM..
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  #3  
Old 03-09-2012, 03:51 PM
AClockworkMelon AClockworkMelon is offline
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At least you're not ugly and stupid, like me. I don't suppose something like this would help?








But seriously, you're right that life seems rougher for the ugly, especially ugly women. People (of both genders) are basically shit (though perhaps in this situation men are a little shittier). You're probably going to have to work twice as hard as men and more attractive women in whatever it is you do.
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  #4  
Old 03-09-2012, 04:27 PM
drachillix drachillix is offline
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Originally Posted by Can't Recall View Post
I know that due to nature, the law of balance or whatever else, not everyone can be attractive, so there HAVE TO BE ugly individuals. But I just hate being on this side of the fence... in my opinion, the grass is certainly greener for beautiful individuals - especially beautiful women.
Well as a guy who A: ain't exactly a hottie, and B: Has liked, loved, and had fabulous encounters with several "not traditionally beautiful" ladies. Look for folks in areas you have a strong interest in. If you were at all into gaming, lots of guys there are more interested in your raid performance than your cup size. In SCA I see alot of women who while not smokin hotties are wonderful women by their own right who I would happily date. Honestly, several of them would not have tripped my radar unless I had the chance to get to know them first. One of them, who most guys would not give the time of day to, I would be all over that like white on rice, because she has an attitude that just works for me. Once you are in a world where people are going to get to know you on a regular basis, opportunities will eventually arise.

That said, I have had a 5'3" 250 pound woman tell me she will not date anyone who weighs more than she does, and just as many women go hunting for the hotties as the guys do.

So you gonna post a pic for us?
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  #5  
Old 03-09-2012, 04:30 PM
Can't Recall Can't Recall is offline
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Originally Posted by gamerunknown View Post
Edit: That said, it's strange that they'd even discuss attractiveness in mixed company. I guess it shows they trust you at least?
Yeah it's just we're quite close and they treat me as "one of the guys" which I also think is because they see me as plain or unattractive, as I have never in my life seen any guy (not even my friends) treat hot girls as one of the guys...
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  #6  
Old 03-09-2012, 04:32 PM
Simplicio Simplicio is offline
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Life's certainly not fair to the ugly, and good looking woman especially definitely get a leg up when it comes to social and even job situations.

That said, groups of drunk college age males are probably the most shallow lifeforms in existence, so I don't think I'd try and generalize your friends behaviour to people in general. Twenty-something men play this stupid game when they get together of "point out the hot chick". Its not really representative of what goes on in their heads more generally.

So the situation isn't so bleak, there are plenty of good guys with relatively plain looking woman. Looks count, but they're hardly the end-all and be-all of existence that you'd think they were from listening to the average fraternity BS session.

Last edited by Simplicio; 03-09-2012 at 04:32 PM..
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  #7  
Old 03-09-2012, 04:35 PM
Sitnam Sitnam is offline
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Originally Posted by Simplicio View Post
So the situation isn't so bleak, there are plenty of good guys with relatively plain looking woman. Looks count, but they're hardly the end-all and be-all of existence that you'd think they were from listening to the average fraternity BS session.
This.
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  #8  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:05 PM
Vinyl Turnip Vinyl Turnip is offline
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Originally Posted by drachillix View Post
So you gonna post a pic for us?
I've noticed a few things from "pix" threads over the years, on this board and elsewhere:

a) People who lament how ugly they are usually aren't really that ugly,

b) The genuinely ugly people have usually convinced themselves they're okay-looking,

c) If the person does post a pic, they're going to be told they look just fine even if they really are an ogre.
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  #9  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:14 PM
Boyo Jim Boyo Jim is offline
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Originally Posted by AClockworkMelon View Post
At least you're not ugly and stupid, like me. I don't suppose something like this would help?...
You know, I really hate those "ugly duckling" scenes where it's clear from the start the the duckling is a real hottie with a bad hairdo and ugly glasses.
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  #10  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:34 PM
smiling bandit smiling bandit is offline
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I don't think we can judge adequately without pictures.
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  #11  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:36 PM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is offline
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You know, I really hate those "ugly duckling" scenes where it's clear from the start the the duckling is a real hottie with a bad hairdo and ugly glasses.
"Oh no, not her! She's got glasses and a pony tail. And what is that on her overalls? She's got paint on her overalls!" "Damn, that shit is wack."
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  #12  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:37 PM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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Originally Posted by Simplicio View Post
Life's certainly not fair to the ugly, and good looking woman especially definitely get a leg up when it comes to social and even job situations.
Heh...leg up, and over the shoulder and here comes your raise baby!

Hey OP. Why are you ugly? Is your face all funny and asymmetrical or do you just have better things to do than learn makup & hair-do? For what it's worth, age has taught me to appreciate honesty & cleverness over looks & youth. My first wife was a hog when we got together inhigh school--looking at her yearbook pictures I can honestly say her face would make a freight train steer for a dirt road. Eventually she cleaned up nice and a few years did her some favors. Then she became a complete ho and I had to lose her. Wife 2.0 is hot, young, smart AND honest. She learned a while back to appreciate honesty over looks as well which is how I ended up getting her time o' day.

Are you Sandra Bernhard ugly? Cuz she seems to do alright. As a dude, I can tell you attitude is a FAR more powerful attractant than looks.
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  #13  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:41 PM
Rand Rover Rand Rover is offline
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Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip View Post
I've noticed a few things from "pix" threads over the years, on this board and elsewhere:

a) People who lament how ugly they are usually aren't really that ugly,

b) The genuinely ugly people have usually convinced themselves they're okay-looking,

c) If the person does post a pic, they're going to be told they look just fine even if they really are an ogre.
I hereby promise to tell her she's an ogre if that be the case.
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  #14  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:45 PM
andros andros is offline
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. . . it gets better. Eventually. Most guys become less shallow and appearance-obsessed with age. Or at any rate, the ones you deserve do.

(OTOH, what do I fuckin' know? I've never been with a "hot" woman in my life, and have no interest. I flipped through the "Hottest Women of the 90s" thread over in the Game Room and for the life of me wanted to choose "N/A" for almost every contest. I understand and sometime appreciate the "hot" idea, but I rarely find it sexually arousing. My gal is beautiful because I love her, not the other way 'round.)
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  #15  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:53 PM
Beastly Rotter Beastly Rotter is offline
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You need a better class of friends.
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  #16  
Old 03-09-2012, 06:08 PM
Ken001 Ken001 is offline
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The homily "for every Jack there is a Jill" is true in my experience. Guys are just as uncertain as girls and given time can see beyond the superficial.

Relationships commonly occur in situations where people are brought together. Work. University. Clubs. Church. Being in a group and at college already puts you ahead of other girls.

Personality and intelligence count for a lot. I'd have to say being feminine helps.

From an evolutionary psychology perspective humans are attracted to those whom they subconsciously assess as good providers and good breeding stock. We are wired to make quick judgements but in an age of artifice we can also be easily tricked.
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  #17  
Old 03-09-2012, 06:14 PM
PapSett PapSett is offline
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Another ugly woman chiming in here. And I agree... life is just plain tougher for those of us not blessed with good looks.

It's why I largely prefer the company of animals. They judge you on how you treat them, not how you look.
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  #18  
Old 03-09-2012, 06:16 PM
Vinyl Turnip Vinyl Turnip is offline
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I hereby promise to tell her she's an ogre if that be the case.
"My heart tells me that Rand Rover has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before this is over."
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  #19  
Old 03-09-2012, 06:26 PM
monstro monstro is online now
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I'm curious. Why do you care so much about what these guys are saying? They are just idiots.

If you don't feel comfortable telling them to shut the hell up, then I wouldn't hang out with them anymore. You don't have to be all feminazi about it. Just say, "You know, I think we should invite Boris [or whomever] to join us. I bet his dick is so long he trips over it. We can all take turns sucking him."

And then get your sister or another girl to agree with you, and then keep going until the clue-by-four smacks all the guys upside the head.

Make it a topic of conversation. If this is really the kind of group that embraces "deep thoughts", then the discussion should be good.

If this doesn't work, fuck them.
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  #20  
Old 03-09-2012, 06:52 PM
smiling bandit smiling bandit is offline
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Originally Posted by Inner Stickler View Post
"Oh no, not her! She's got glasses and a pony tail. And what is that on her overalls? She's got paint on her overalls!" "Damn, that shit is wack."
Am I the only one who thinks those girls are way hotter before the makeover?
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  #21  
Old 03-09-2012, 06:53 PM
Johanna Johanna is offline
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An interviewer asked James Baldwin what were the biggest disadvantages in his career as a writer. Baldwin said "Being born black, ugly, and gay." Then the interviewer asked what were his biggest advantages. Baldwin said "Being born black, ugly, and gay."* There must be thousands of ways to be philosophical about it, and I like this example. And I don't think philosophy is to be sneered at. I have respect for it.

*I think when I read this it was quoted by Octavia E. Butler about her own writing career.

Last edited by Johanna; 03-09-2012 at 06:53 PM..
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  #22  
Old 03-09-2012, 06:54 PM
Johanna Johanna is offline
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Am I the only one who thinks those girls are way hotter before the makeover?
No, you're not.
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  #23  
Old 03-09-2012, 07:06 PM
DigitalC DigitalC is online now
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Plenty of butt ugly dudes out there too.
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  #24  
Old 03-09-2012, 07:13 PM
Can't Recall Can't Recall is offline
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Originally Posted by Simplicio View Post
So the situation isn't so bleak, there are plenty of good guys with relatively plain looking woman. Looks count, but they're hardly the end-all and be-all of existence that you'd think they were from listening to the average fraternity BS session.


Quote:
Originally Posted by smiling bandit View Post
I don't think we can judge adequately without pictures.
I don't feel like posting a picture, sorry

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya View Post
Heh...leg up, and over the shoulder and here comes your raise baby!

Hey OP. Why are you ugly? Is your face all funny and asymmetrical or do you just have better things to do than learn makup & hair-do? For what it's worth, age has taught me to appreciate honesty & cleverness over looks & youth. My first wife was a hog when we got together inhigh school--looking at her yearbook pictures I can honestly say her face would make a freight train steer for a dirt road. Eventually she cleaned up nice and a few years did her some favors. Then she became a complete ho and I had to lose her. Wife 2.0 is hot, young, smart AND honest. She learned a while back to appreciate honesty over looks as well which is how I ended up getting her time o' day.

Are you Sandra Bernhard ugly? Cuz she seems to do alright. As a dude, I can tell you attitude is a FAR more powerful attractant than looks.
Well I am ugly because, I don't know I don't have obvious deformities, but I think my eyes are really boring, both because of shape and color (brown), I have some scars from chickenpox which I got when I was 19, including a bald spot in one of my eyebrows (which I can cover, but if I'm not careful you can see the scar)... my nose is not big but it's too round and it's not pointy and perky and feminine... I have a strong jaw and high cheekbones (I know some women dig these, but I hate them), my mouth I feel is a bit small for my face, lips aren't thin nor thick, but they're wrinkly, I have big front teeth, I get childish dimples when I smile, my face is wide ('cause my head is big), I have dark circles under my eyes which won't go away even with adequate sleep/diet... my hair is thin and fine, and while shiny and soft, it just falls to the sides of my face and I can't style it much 'cause I have mild alopecia (not very noticeable yet)... plus my hair tangles by just looking at it...

The only thing I like about my face is my forehead, which is round and smooth, and my skin which is mostly blemish free and kind of olive colored.

I just find my face is really boring, and it doesn't photograph well... in mirrors sometimes I don't think I look too bad, but I see pictures of myself and cringe. My face is not obviously pretty and delicate, it's definitely not manly, but it's not that "innocent-delicate-ultra-feminine (NSFW)" type of beautiful face.

Then my body... I'm around 5'7", some 130 lbs... right now I'm literally working my ass off to shed some more pounds in the hopes of toning my ass/legs and abs a bit more and hopefully (fingers crossed tight!!) to slim my thighs some more... like I mentioned, I am pear shaped, and I feel disproportionate, and thus I hate buying clothes... I hate having to buy separate tops and bottoms when shopping for bikinis... 'cause my boobs are small (around a 34B) and guys my age still seem obsessed with big tits, especially since there are many girls who're slimmer, shorter and with less hips who have bigger boobs. I just feel like I belong more in a Renaissance painting, but then again, I'm neither white skinned nor light haired enough.

I thought Sandra Bernhard was a lesbian? Nothing wrong with lesbians, but women in relationships with other women are way less concerned about looks than men in relationships with women (or men for that matter, since gay men tend to have more body image issues)... so maybe she's not the best example.

Last edited by Can't Recall; 03-09-2012 at 07:18 PM..
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  #25  
Old 03-09-2012, 07:45 PM
Rachellelogram Rachellelogram is offline
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Anger is the second step on the five-step path to acceptance, so you've got a ways to go. I hope you know, there's nothing to be gained from being resentful about something over which you have no control--that would make you ugly AND bitchy, which is way worse than just ugly. So, unless you have the means and the will to get plastic surgery to look less ugly, stop moaning about it. It just so happens that, due to an accident of birth, life isn't as easy for the ugly people of the world as it is for the pretty ones. Oh well, shit happens. It's also harder to be born black or gay or autistic than it is to be born white or straight or neurotypical. We don't get to choose these things, nobody does. And if you were truly smart, you'd work on evolving past dwelling upon it.

Love,
A smartass chick who's terribly smart and unpretty

P.S. My male cousin is terribly smart and terribly unattractive, and he married a very kind, intelligent girl who also has a truly unfortunate face. They're an amazing couple, their new baby is hideous, and they couldn't possibly be happier. There's nothing that says you can't find happiness even though you're not pretty, unless you allow your bitterness to transform you into a dreadful she-harpy.
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  #26  
Old 03-09-2012, 07:56 PM
Can't Recall Can't Recall is offline
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Originally Posted by rachelellogram View Post
Anger is the second step on the five-step path to acceptance, so you've got a ways to go. I hope you know, there's nothing to be gained from being resentful about something over which you have no control--that would make you ugly AND bitchy, which is way worse than just ugly. So, unless you have the means and the will to get plastic surgery to look less ugly, stop moaning about it. It just so happens that, due to an accident of birth, life isn't as easy for the ugly people of the world as it is for the pretty ones. Oh well, shit happens. It's also harder to be born black or gay or autistic than it is to be born white or straight or neurotypical. We don't get to choose these things, nobody does. And if you were truly smart, you'd work on evolving past dwelling upon it.

Love,
A smartass chick who's terribly smart and unpretty

P.S. My male cousin is terribly smart and terribly unattractive, and he married a very kind, intelligent girl who also has a truly unfortunate face. They're an amazing couple, their new baby is hideous, and they couldn't possibly be happier. There's nothing that says you can't find happiness even though you're not pretty, unless you allow your bitterness to transform you into a dreadful she-harpy.
OK, I'll take the tough love... although I guess it's human nature to want what others have, but yeah, you have a valid point, there's no point dwelling about this, although having a pretty sister and friends makes it hard not to feel as accepted by men as they do... I really hate wanting to be accepted and validated by men, but the heart wants what the heart wants... maybe I'm foolish like that.

So I'll work on it, too.
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  #27  
Old 03-09-2012, 08:01 PM
Ambivalid Ambivalid is offline
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Originally Posted by Can't Recall View Post

Well I am ugly because, I don't know I don't have obvious deformities, but I think my eyes are really boring, both because of shape and color (brown), I have some scars from chickenpox which I got when I was 19, including a bald spot in one of my eyebrows (which I can cover, but if I'm not careful you can see the scar)... my nose is not big but it's too round and it's not pointy and perky and feminine... I have a strong jaw and high cheekbones (I know some women dig these, but I hate them), my mouth I feel is a bit small for my face, lips aren't thin nor thick, but they're wrinkly, I have big front teeth, I get childish dimples when I smile, my face is wide ('cause my head is big), I have dark circles under my eyes which won't go away even with adequate sleep/diet... my hair is thin and fine, and while shiny and soft, it just falls to the sides of my face and I can't style it much 'cause I have mild alopecia (not very noticeable yet)... plus my hair tangles by just looking at it...

I just find my face is really boring, and it doesn't photograph well... in mirrors sometimes I don't think I look too bad, but I see pictures of myself and cringe. My face is not obviously pretty and delicate, it's definitely not manly, but it's not that "innocent-delicate-ultra-feminine (NSFW)" type of beautiful face.

Then my body... I'm around 5'7", some 130 lbs... right now I'm working to shed some more pounds in the hopes of toning my ass/legs and abs a bit more and hopefully (fingers crossed tight!!) to slim my thighs some more... like I mentioned, I am pear shaped, my boobs are small and guys my age still seem obsessed with big tits, especially since there are many girls who're slimmer, shorter and with less hips who have bigger boobs.
You don't sound ugly one bit. You sound like most other women I've known in my life; insecure about their bodies and far and away their own worst critics.
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  #28  
Old 03-09-2012, 08:15 PM
Cheshire Human Cheshire Human is offline
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If this doesn't work, fuck them.
That's been known to get guys to pay attention. Or did you mean something else?

Last edited by Cheshire Human; 03-09-2012 at 08:15 PM..
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  #29  
Old 03-09-2012, 08:21 PM
smiling bandit smiling bandit is offline
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Originally Posted by Can't Recall View Post
I don't feel like posting a picture, sorry
Quote:
Then my body... I'm around 5'7", some 130 lbs... right now I'm literally working my ass off to shed some more pounds in the hopes of toning my ass/legs and abs a bit more and hopefully (fingers crossed tight!!) to slim my thighs some more... like I mentioned, I am pear shaped, and I feel disproportionate, and thus I hate buying clothes... I hate having to buy separate tops and bottoms when shopping for bikinis... 'cause my boobs are small (around a 34B) and guys my age still seem obsessed with big tits
Did I mention I have a thing for small or medium breasts... and 130 at 5'7" isn't exactly chunky to begin with. In fact, that's less weight than average. You might not be toned, but you're at a healthy weight right now.

...You don't happen to live in Atlanta, do you?
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  #30  
Old 03-09-2012, 08:32 PM
Stoid Stoid is offline
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You're better off plain with a decent figure than fat and pretty. I grew up fat and pretty, my best friend was extremely plain (a 3or 4 maybe with coke bottle glasses and a terrible skin condition that made her face red and lumpy) with a nice body. Both of us were smart and funny and interesting. Guess who had no problem at all getting cute, cool, great boyfriends? Hint: it wasn't me.
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Old 03-09-2012, 08:42 PM
drachillix drachillix is offline
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Then my body... I'm around 5'7", some 130 lbs... right now I'm literally working my ass off to shed some more pounds
You probably just lost 90% of any pity you might have had from most of the ladies right there....how do you make a pear shap with that little mass to work with. Me thinks you are not entirely in touch with your own image.

Honestly you would lose me for being too damn skinny. Yes I like curvy, but 130? My 5'0" g/f weighs 145, as far as I am concerned she is just the right amount of fluffy.
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  #32  
Old 03-09-2012, 08:49 PM
drachillix drachillix is offline
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just as an example, this is a woman I dated

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2064879/grace.jpg

thats 5'7" 135 pounds.

A Size 2 IIRC

Last edited by drachillix; 03-09-2012 at 08:51 PM..
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  #33  
Old 03-09-2012, 08:55 PM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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Welcome to the Dope, Can't Recall.
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Originally Posted by Simplicio View Post
<snip>
That said, groups of drunk college age males are probably the most shallow lifeforms in existence, so I don't think I'd try and generalize your friends behaviour to people in general. Twenty-something men play this stupid game when they get together of "point out the hot chick". <snip>
This,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beastly Rotter View Post
You need a better class of friends.
and this,

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Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post
You don't sound ugly one bit. You sound like most other women I've known in my life; insecure about their bodies and far and away their own worst critics.
and this. You don't sound ugly; you sound normal and average, like most of the rest of us. You sound like you have a lot going for you, but being drop-dead gorgeous isn't one of those things; oh well. There's a line from Desiderata that I like -
Quote:
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
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  #34  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:10 PM
Rand Rover Rand Rover is offline
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Alright, I'm a couple beers in at this point. Let's see a picture.
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  #35  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:13 PM
PlainJain PlainJain is offline
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Sorry, but I call bullshit. New poster, pitting yourself and pouring your heart into sneak self-pity but no picture? Right.
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  #36  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:19 PM
Drain Bead Drain Bead is offline
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Bare Minerals makes a great product for under eye circles called "Well Rested". Give it a shot.
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  #37  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:21 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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I just wanted to say there's absolutely nothing unattractive about small boobs. There are plenty of males like me who don't even consider boob size a factor at all.

And really, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd if physical attractiveness is all that matters.
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  #38  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:21 PM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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Originally Posted by PlainJain View Post
Sorry, but I call bullshit. New poster, pitting yourself and pouring your heart into sneak self-pity but no picture? Right.
Yeah...it's probably Jennifer Aniston having a bad day so she's posting here. Needy movie stars...
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  #39  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:32 PM
Wesley Clark Wesley Clark is offline
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Originally Posted by gamerunknown View Post

Edit: That said, it's strange that they'd even discuss attractiveness in mixed company. I guess it shows they trust you at least?
It is also likely that they don't think of her as a sexual creature, so don't really think anything wrong about talking about other women in front of her.

Here is a good scientific article about attractiveness and appearance.

http://evolution.binghamton.edu/dswi...0/01/DSW13.pdf

Basically, attractiveness is in large part (but not wholly) based on how you think of someone as an individual. They did studies where they compared how attractive people were to strangers vs to people who knew them and calculated how much of attraction is based on knowing them. I think it works out to roughly 60%, but it varies from person to person. One woman was rated a 3.5 at the start of a summer program (on a scale of 1-10) but at the end was rated a 7 because people liked her personality.

Plus you can change your hygiene, clothes, hair, etc. So its not the end of the world I guess.

Last edited by Wesley Clark; 03-09-2012 at 09:33 PM..
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  #40  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:34 PM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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Originally Posted by Rand Rover View Post
Alright, I'm a couple beers in at this point. Let's see a picture.
Beer goggles!
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  #41  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:35 PM
curlcoat curlcoat is offline
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I am no beauty but I was decent looking and well shaped when I was young. I found it extremely off putting that the only interest most male people had in me was whether or not they could get me in bed. I was intelligent, active in a popular hobby, into music etc etc but all the guys wanted to talk about was sex. I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be a beautiful girl with a hot body and have the world only interested in one, fleeting part of you.

I agree with whoever said it gets better as you get older, or rather as the men start maturing and finding out they have a brain on the tops of their heads. I know its hard but just ignore the crap for now and look to the future.
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  #42  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:37 PM
you with the face you with the face is offline
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You should stop reading cites like the one you linked us to, OP. The stuff in there would make any woman get a complex. Attractiveness comes in many forms, and so does the feminine body.
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  #43  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:40 PM
Rachellelogram Rachellelogram is offline
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If you don't take the OP's word for her looks, why even bother posting in the thread? Her body type and shape sound attractive, sure. But there's nothing that says she can't still have an unattractive face. My cousin's wife has a very nice body, she works out and takes care of herself. She's unfailingly nice, polite, and intelligent. But she still looks like someone smacked her face with an ugly stick about 7 times. You can't pretend this doesn't affect a woman's prospects in life.

I have found it's true that the more I like someone, the more attractive they become to me. But that doesn't mean they aren't still going to be judged as unattractive by passers-by and acquaintances. Here (possibly NSFW depending on safe-search) is a google image search for "butterface," which for the people who've never heard the term means: a woman that is attractive everywhere but 'er face. It's not an uncommon combination.

Last edited by Rachellelogram; 03-09-2012 at 09:43 PM..
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  #44  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:42 PM
Procrustus Procrustus is online now
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Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
I just wanted to say there's absolutely nothing unattractive about small boobs. There are plenty of males like me who don't even consider boob size a factor at all.

And really, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd if physical attractiveness is all that matters.
Agreed and agreed. Some (many?) of us prefer small breasts.
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  #45  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:49 PM
Lamia Lamia is offline
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Those of you asking for pictures: what are you going to say if Can't Recall does post one and actually is ugly?

While it's certainly possible she's a decent looking woman who's just too down on herself, there are people in this world who are generally reckoned to be unattractive. She might very well be one of them. If so, I doubt it's going to make her feel better to know that strangers on the Internet are making fun of her photos. And if you think no one would do that, you haven't been on the Internet very long.
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  #46  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:49 PM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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<snip>

Basically, attractiveness is in large part (but not wholly) based on how you think of someone as an individual. They did studies where they compared how attractive people were to strangers vs to people who knew them and calculated how much of attraction is based on knowing them. I think it works out to roughly 60%, but it varies from person to person. One woman was rated a 3.5 at the start of a summer program (on a scale of 1-10) but at the end was rated a 7 because people liked her personality. <snip>
This is so true; when you get to know people and you like them and like talking to them, their attractiveness either becomes completely moot, or you become more attracted to them.

I worked with a guy once who was a plain old jerk; some girls were telling me that they were jealous of me for working with that god, and my reaction was, "Seriously? You think this guy is attractive? You need to get to know him, and find out how shallow and useless he is." Conversely, another guy I worked with was probably, empirically speaking, a 4 or 5, but I was tremendously attracted to him because he was just so much fun to be around.
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  #47  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:49 PM
MichaelEmouse MichaelEmouse is online now
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Originally Posted by Can't Recall View Post


Then my body... I'm around 5'7", some 130 lbs... right now I'm literally working my ass off to shed some more pounds in the hopes of toning my ass/legs and abs a bit more and hopefully (fingers crossed tight!!) to slim my thighs some more.
Do you think you need to lose weight at 5'7" and 130 lbs?

If you do think you should lose weight, do some introspection because it's not healthy. You have a BMI of 20.4, which is at the lower end. If* your thighs are thick, it's not because of excess weight.

What have you done to lose weight in the past? Have you ever skipped meals voluntarily? Have you taken substances to eat less? How about vomiting?


* I say "if" because they're likely not.

Last edited by MichaelEmouse; 03-09-2012 at 09:50 PM..
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  #48  
Old 03-09-2012, 10:01 PM
Rand Rover Rand Rover is offline
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Those of you asking for pictures: what are you going to say if Can't Recall does post one and actually is ugly?
"Damn bitch, you're an ugly-ass bitch, y'ugly bitch!" Or something.

Last edited by Rand Rover; 03-09-2012 at 10:01 PM..
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  #49  
Old 03-09-2012, 10:03 PM
raspberry hunter raspberry hunter is offline
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I agree, you need a better class of friends and dating pool as well. (ETA: I think anyone would be insecure about her body who had your friends!)

My suggestion: scientists and engineers. Totally skewed male/female ratio your way, and the smart ones will go for intelligence and character over big-boobed hotness every time. I can attest to this because I work with a bunch of (male) scientists and engineers, and our holiday party is filled with perfectly nice, pleasant, intelligent, interesting, and for the most part really average-to-under-average-looking wives. (There are a couple of exceptions, of course, but those tend to be the hot guys who spend all their spare time working out, etc., or else the grunts who aren't as smart.)

I have no idea if my husband prefers small breasts, and I sure as heck am not going to ask, but he certainly seems to like mine fine. I was a 32A before having a kid (now 34B).

ETA: I'm 5'6" and about 125 pounds. I could actually stand to lose a couple to be at my ideal weight (though I think my figure is fine) so I see what the OP is talking about.

Last edited by raspberry hunter; 03-09-2012 at 10:08 PM..
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  #50  
Old 03-09-2012, 10:09 PM
voltaire voltaire is offline
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Well, as long as you're "free" in around 10-15 years, I know someone who will be looking for a serious relationship. (I'm soooo just kidding, but I couldn't resist the opening.)
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