How do I get over the feeling that my supervisor is too busy for my questions?

[Lakai]

I work as a legal intern in a real estate firm. Last week I wanted to ask my supervisor if I could take the morning off on Thursday to go to a CLE, but I didn't.

I was off on Wednesday, and all I had to do was call him and ask about Thursday, but I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to bother him about my personal problem on my day off.

What is wrong with me?

[Yorikke]

You need to just sack up and do it? Beyond that, I got nothin'. It's one of your supervisor's jobs to listen to your day off requests, right?

Joe

[FairyChatMom]

Your supervisor is just a guy. Once upon a time, he was a peon just like you. He's got stuff to do, and one of those things is dealing with you. It's why he gets the big bucks. Make him earn his paycheck!

[SpoilerVirgin]

Originally Posted by Lakai

I work as a legal intern in a real estate firm. Last week I wanted to ask my supervisor if I could take the morning off on Thursday to go to a CLE, but I didn't.

I was off on Wednesday, and all I had to do was call him and ask about Thursday, but I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to bother him about my personal problem on my day off.

What is wrong with me?

What is it that you think will happen if you call? You're clearly anxious about something. Are you afraid of looking stupid? Afraid he won't let you go? Afraid he will let you go, when you don't really want to? If you can figure out exactly what it is that is causing you anxiety, you can then think rationally about it and get past it.

[Lakai]

Originally Posted by SpoilerVirgin

What is it that you think will happen if you call? You're clearly anxious about something. Are you afraid of looking stupid? Afraid he won't let you go? Afraid he will let you go, when you don't really want to? If you can figure out exactly what it is that is causing you anxiety, you can then think rationally about it and get past it.

I've only worked there for one week at that point. I was afraid to ask for time off after one week.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Originally Posted by Lakai

I've only worked there for one week at that point. I was afraid to ask for time off after one week.

That seems to be a different issue than being worried that your supervisor is too busy for you to ask questions. You didn't want to ask this specific question, not questions in general. Frankly, that was probably a good idea. Unless you discussed it before, asking for time tight away could be not received well. YMMV

[Anaamika]

But he's not just asking for time off to go to the beach. He's asking for time off to go to CLE...but, you should have asked earlier.

But how is it that you have a day off after only a week?

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

But he's not just asking for time off to go to the beach. He's asking for time off to go to CLE...but, you should have asked earlier.

But how is it that you have a day off after only a week?

Agreed. It sounds to me as though you kind of screwed up by not telling your supervisor that you had a class on Thursday mornings before you got hired. Is this CLE a regular class, such that you'll always want Thursdays off? Was getting time off for CLE part of your deal on getting hired? Or will this come as a surprise to the supervisor that you want to continue your education during time he was expecting you to be working?

[WhyNot]

I can absolutely see being anxious in such an instance. I don't think that's something you really need to "get over", I think that was your brain telling you it wasn't an appropriate way to handle the situation. Yes, you should feel weird about springing a day off on a brand new job with a brand new supervisor. That's unprofessional and unlikely to get you good attention from the supervisor.

I'm going to answer the question I came in here to answer, though, which is the question in the OP. For me, text messaging has largely replaced phone calls for stuff like this. My boss is a young guy (late 20s) and totally comfortable with text messaging, and so we text a lot more than we talk. It's unbelievably anxiety reducing for me. (I have a lot of anxiety about asking for things for myself, and also anxiety around using the phone, so using the phone to ask for something for myself gives me the screaming willies.)

So, if anyone came into the thread because they relate to the question in the OP, that's my advice: see if you boss is amenable to text or email instead of the phone. It gives you the time to edit and get your words just right. You can't forget what's important to say in the middle of a sentence, you won't be interrupted and you don't have to worry that you're contacting them at a bad time, because they can check text or email and get back to you as it's convenient for them.

[Barkis is Willin']

I assume your supervisor knows you need to complete your CLE. So, why not have a discussion with him about when it would be appropriate for you do that? Ask if he's ok with you taking some days off for it, or if he will require a certain amount of notice. He's responsible for coordinating these kinds of issues with you, so just talk to him about it.

[Sailboat]

I'm too busy to answer this right now. Don't you have something to do?

[elbows]

As you were being informed, that you'd have Wednesday off, was the appropriate time to indicate you have a commitment on Thursday, that requires time off.

When and how, did you discover you'd be having Wednesday off?

[Lakai]

Sorry for not explaining this so well. I'm an unpaid legal intern. I work only three days a week in order to gain experience. I use my days off to look for paying work.

I think I would have got the morning off if I asked. The firm is pretty flexible with their schedules for unpaid interns. I wanted to ask on Tuesday, but I delayed until the last second, and then my supervisor left work early, so I couldn't get to him.

On Wednesday I thought it would look unprofessional if I interrupted his day to ask for a morning off on such short notice.

[elbows]

Self sabotage from inside your own brain then, I'm guessing. You 'thought' yourself out of doing the right, the obvious, and the simple thing, several times.

You're 'unpaid', and while I'm sure it's an enviable internship, I'm equally sure that they realize people occasionally require time off.

Do you truly feel yourself, so unworthy, of a moments of someone's time?

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by Lakai

Sorry for not explaining this so well. I'm an unpaid legal intern. I work only three days a week in order to gain experience. I use my days off to look for paying work.

I think I would have got the morning off if I asked. The firm is pretty flexible with their schedules for unpaid interns. I wanted to ask on Tuesday, but I delayed until the last second, and then my supervisor left work early, so I couldn't get to him.

On Wednesday I thought it would look unprofessional if I interrupted his day to ask for a morning off on such short notice.

In my world, interns just saw "I have a prior engagement on X day, is it OK if I come in on Y day instead?" Especially if it's any sort of continuing education. We're supposed to encourage and educate them; that's why they're working for us unpaid after all.

I understand the legal world is a different kettle of fish, but you're still not going off to lay on the beach all day, you're doing something that in a way is directly related to your internship.

Man up and ask for the day off next time.