Song lyrics you deliberately sing wrong

[Electric Warrior]

I have some songs where I sing the wrong words because it's funnier that way.

Mumford and Sons - Sigh No More. The actual lyric is "Man is a giddy thing", which I sing as "Man is a guinea pig".

Florence and the Machine - What the Water Gave Me, instead of "pockets full of stones" I sing "pockets full of scones".

I feel like there are probably some of these where a certain group of people has a modification to the lyrics, like singing "Root, root, root for the [insert your team name here]" in Take Me Out to the Ball Game - but probably more creative than that.

[Zsofia]

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza!"

[hogarth]

Whiskey you're the devil, you're leading me astray
Over hills and mountains and to a Mary Kay.

[Rhiannon8404]

Are you reeling in the years?
Stowin' away the time?
Are you gathering up the cheese?
Have you had enough wine?

[PacifistPorcupine]

Adele - "Rolling in the sheep" instead of "Rolling in the deep." I play a lot of Settlers of Catan.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Smokey " ...if you feel like giving me a lifetime of servility, I second that emotion..."

[breezman]

"Don't cry for me Ike and Tina..."

[Maggie the Ocelot]

"I'll never dance with her mother (ewww!)
Since I saw her standing there."

[etv78]

"All you need is blah"

[Algher]

AC/DC

"And she was faking it with you"

[WhyNot]

I don't care what anyone says, it's "wrapped up like a douche."

[11811]

Billy Joel -- She's Got Oy Vey About Her

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

Johnny Cash singing NIN's 'Hurt'

"What have I become, my Swedish friend?"

[K364]

The Doors - "Come on Baby bite my wire..."

[Odaran09]

Anything that has been done Weird Al. I cannot hear the original without the parody version rattling around in my head. I usually end up singing the Al version loudly over the original one.

[Eve]

One-ton tomato!
I eat a one-ton tomato.
One-ton tomaaaaaatoooo . . .

[Taomist]

Originally Posted by Odaran09

Anything that has been done Weird Al. I cannot hear the original without the parody version rattling around in my head. I usually end up singing the Al version loudly over the original one.

The recent car commercial with Gangster Paradise playing in the background is the ONLY time I have EVER heard the original song. Amish Paradise was what I heard first, and what I will hear forever, no matter what's actually playing. <3

[Taomist]

Originally Posted by Eve

One-ton tomato!
I eat a one-ton tomato.
One-ton tomaaaaaatoooo . . .

One ton of mayo...
Why not eat one ton of mayo...

Also, when J Geils' Freeze Frame song came out, a Chicago station was big on parody songs, so when I hear it I sing "Faulklands!!" followed by sheep noises.

Same reason I think of firefighters when I hear Starship's "Jane". Poor Mayor Byrne; between that and Cabrini Green, she didn't stand a chance.

[pohjonen]

Other fellas call me up for a date
But I just sit and wait
I'd rather masturbate for Johnny Angel...

[Švejk]

"You are like a hurricane./
There's cum in your eyes"
--- Neil Young - Like a Hurricane

"Dye! Dye my hair!/
A darker shade of brown!
It's too light for me!"
--- Metallica - Creeping Death

There's a parody version of The Doors' Riders on the Storm, done by Bob Rivers, which is quite brilliant. It's called 'Burgers on the Grill' (youtube) and its lyrics in their entirety are better than the original.

[phxjcc]

Nancy Reagan: "Don't Cry for me Santa Barbara"

Smoke gets in your eyes...
They told me it was true
that baby sh!t was blue,
I did not know what they mean
I told them it was green
When smoke gets in your eyes.

Alphie:
What's that in your pool, Algae?

M Jackson: People, on the dance floor, really get it on...
People, with the bush dogs, really get it on

[Neidhart]

"We Three Kings":

Never grieving, still deceiving
Star of wonder, star of might
First star that I see tonight
I wish I may I wish I mi-ight
Have this wish I wish tonight

[Odesio]

Originally Posted by PacifistPorcupine

Adele - "Rolling in the sheep" instead of "Rolling in the deep." I play a lot of Settlers of Catan.

Great, I won't be able to listen to the song the same way again.

Rolling in the sheeeeep!
I could really use a briiiiick!
Oh, no I need some wheeeeeat!
Does anyone, anyone have some wood for sheep?

[california jobcase]

Don't go out tonight, you're bound to lose your life- there's a bathroom on the right

Baby, you don't have to limp like a refugee

[medstar]

Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance", it comes out as "Bathrobe Dance".

[robardin]

Ever since I saw this parody of it, I cannot hear Lady Gaga's song "Butterface" without thinking how much better the alternate lyrics are

[Aspidistra]

I rather like this one. Not that I ever hear Pokerface on the radio.

I prefer my own lyrics to "Fuel for thought" - the original is so incomprehensible after a time I didn't even try to figure out what she thought she was singing, and let my imagination roam free.

"Friends, you can cure the Ford
Now I'm no longer beautiful
But that's OK
I'm just lemonade
And other stupid love songs"

[Namkcalb]

I sing "girl" instead of "boy"

[Kimstu]

Just around the cornea
there's a rainbow in the eye;
This is called chromatic aberration,
this will be corrected by and by.


I also have a more or less inadvertent satanic version of the hymn "Of the Father's Love Begotten", born of back-to-back-double-Easter-services-induced exhaustion when I used to sing in a church choir, that is too offensive to repeat here. The lines "When the virgin full of grease/By the Holy Goat conceiving" will give you a flavor of it, though.

[Thudlow Boink]

Originally Posted by Algher

AC/DC

"She was a fax machine..."

[Patch]

Master of Puppets by Metallica. I keep singing it Master of Muppets.

[Shoeless]

Whenever I hear Tom Petty's "Rebel" I always sing "I was Barney Rubble".

[Phnord Prephect]

My Maserati does one eighty-four;
I lost my license, I don't drive no more.

And if you can't be
with the one you love, honey:
Spud the Wonder Whip

[sqweels]

Across the streams of hopes and dreams
Where chicks are really hot

[Balance]

"...a kiss from a rose on the grave."

The original lyric in Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" is "a kiss from a rose on the gray". I originally mondegreened it as "grave", and later decided that I preferred my version.

I also change the first two lines in the final verse of "The Dark Lady" to

"And now late at night, when a storm fills the sky,
A lone ship can be seen, sailing in its eye."

That's a fairly large change from the original (as best I can tell), but it's much closer to the version I first heard from the Shantyman; the only change I made to that version is swapping "ghost" for "lone". It seems to me that it works better that way, and it saves "ghost" for the final chorus.

[Hazle Weatherfield]

I can't believe it's NOT "a kiss from a rose on a grave." I refuse to.

"Police nabbed my Dad," for Feliz Navidad. Every time.

[ThelmaLou]

"Children roasting on an open fire,
"Jack Frost nipping at their toes..."

[Uncle Brother Walker]

I knew a friend of a friend's sister who used to sing along to Metallica's "Shortest Straw".

But she used to sing "Soda Straw" and take sips from her soda can and make suggestive ..um... gestures with her mouth after singing.

Hell, she was cute but stupid, and I didn't want to correct her. Especially since we had a history.

[Barkis is Willin']

Rihanna: We found love in a homeless place.

Kings of Leon: Your spaceship's on fire

Metallica: Planetarium

[Dendarii Dame]

"But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around/And I'd really love to see you tonight..."


Far more obscurely, there's a novelty Christmas song sung in a Swedish accent called, "Oh, I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas". Anyone remember a Hanna-Barbera cartoon called Journey to the Center of the Earth? The villain was Swedish, and according to the narrator, had a "brute-like servant, Torg." So whenever we hear the song, my husband and I sing,
"Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas/With my brute-like servant, Torg..."

[limegreen]

My children have corrupted 'Secret Agent Man' into 'She's an Asian Man' which completely cracks me up now when I hear that song.

[limegreen]

Originally Posted by Dendarii Dame

"But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around/And I'd really love to see you tonight..."

WHAT Those aren't the real words? I just googled it, and I've been singing it wrong all these years!!

[Eve]

Originally Posted by Taomist

One ton of mayo...
Why not eat one ton of mayo...

* shakes heads no *

One-ton tomaaaaato!
I eat a one-ton tomato!

All together, now! With guitars!

[Eve]

Originally Posted by ThelmaLou

"Children roasting on an open fire,
"Jack Frost nipping at their toes..."

Oh, you just reminded me:

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Get a ho! Get a ho! Get a ho!

[Labrador Deceiver]

Originally Posted by limegreen

My children have corrupted 'Secret Agent Man' into 'She's an Asian Man' which completely cracks me up now when I hear that song.

I came here to post Secret Asian Man.

Thanks for that, Johnny Rivers.

[JKellyMap]

Originally Posted by Fletch

"Strangers in the night
Exchanging clothing..."

--

[Wheelz]

Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get laid

[california jobcase]

one ton of metal
I need a one ton of metal

we thought the following was hilarious at thirteen:

strangers in the night
exchanging rubbers
this one is too tight
could be I'll find another

[Qadgop the Mercotan]

Originally Posted by Zsofia

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza!"

"count the head lice on my hiney"

[cjepson]

Originally Posted by limegreen

WHAT Those aren't the real words? I just googled it, and I've been singing it wrong all these years!!

Me too!!!!!!!!!!!

My contribution:

Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I fuck no one and no one fucks with me

This is a little different from writing actual alternate lyrics, which I've done for a number of songs; some of them are even printable. Here's one:

I want a new god
One that treats me real well
One that won't make me feel all guilty
Or send me to hell
I want a new god
One that isn't too weird
One that doesn't have eighteen arms
Or a long white beard
One that won't make commandments
Telling me what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with youuuu...