What would you think if a friend or family member told you they have depression?

[GreenTreeFrog]

Just wondered what people honestly think?

I have depression but would never admit it to anyone in life, shame or something. I don't know.

[rhubarbarin]

I've struggled with it since I was about 4 or 5 (first psych eval was age 6), and most of the people I have been or am emotionally close to are also depressed (whether or not they have a diagnosis, or admit it). For me, it's normal. It's gotten to the point where I can be certain that if I really like someone and want to get to know them better, it's going to turn out that they also have a history of depression/anxiety.

No judgement on my part against mental illness. Not sure what the majority of neurotypical people think.. but they're mostly boring anyway.

[SpazCat]

What would I think? "Oh good, I'm not the only one."

I've been dealing with it since I was about 11 or so. I only realized it a few years ago and got a semi-official diagnosis last year. So I've had it for about 21 years now. Most of my family knows about it, but we don't discuss such things. I'm just the crazy one that hasn't settled down yet and does things that make the rest of my family go

[TonySinclair]

I would think, "How wonderful that you realize it and acknowledge it." My life (and hers) was ruined by my ex-wife refusing to admit she needed help. I get depressed myself thinking how happy we might have been if she had just been willing to take a damn pill every day.

[lavenderviolet]

My fiance has always talked openly about how he was suicidally depressed a few years before we met. All I think of it is how grateful I am that he DIDN'T kill himself and that I had a chance to meet him.
People who are educated on the topic understand that depression is not a character flaw but an illness. In the old days people used to think that cancer was something to be ashamed of that you shouldn't talk about openly, but nowadays most people have enough sense to realize that it's just a medical condition. Depression is the same way. Some people don't understand, but that's because of their own ignorance, not because there is anything shameful about depression.

[lavenderviolet]

Originally Posted by TonySinclair

I would think, "How wonderful that you realize it and acknowledge it." My life (and hers) was ruined by my ex-wife refusing to admit she needed help.

Good point. I too have known people that were very obviously mentally ill but couldn't admit it and it caused so much chaos. You're right that it is admirable when someone can admit they have a problem and try to fix it.

[SpoilerVirgin]

I would be concerned, the same way I would be if someone told me they had diabetes or arthritis. I would hope that they are getting the best possible treatment.

I am being treated for anxiety, and while not everyone is accepting, I don't regret having told people. I certainly don't regret getting treatment that has made a huge improvement in my life.

[The Second Stone]

I'd tell them that misery loves company, but my misery is on leave while I'm on Prozac. Get thee to a prescriber for the correct meds. It is not necessary to be miserable.

[GreenTreeFrog]

Appreciating the replies thus far I've never really been to a psych because, well... I don't know what to say and it's expensive... Some of my family know I've been on medication but we haven't discussed it and nobody but me knows how bad it really is. Argh.... And then you get the people who are like I'm more depressed than you because....

Been like this as long as I can remember - depression, social anxiety (I can't speak on the phone or catch a bus) and I'm a really bad insomniac from a young age.

Worst thing is I have nothing to be depressed about, I was never abused or had anything overly traumatizing happen to me. I'm afraid for that reason people will not accept me.... For example my partners friend and her sister were raped by their stepdad as teens... People can see the justification in being depressed after something like that has happened.

[Ambivalid]

Depression; among thinking, pondering, conscious souls, is somewhat inevitable. It's ok to be depressed sometimes. It's not ok to stay that way. I'd tell a family member or friend to "join the club" and always know that they're not alone and they have people who 'got their back'-no matter what. Depression is not a character flaw, it's a human condition.

[SpazCat]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Worst thing is I have nothing to be depressed about

See, that's what gets you. "I shouldn't be depressed, nothing bad's happened to me!" Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance that doesn't require anything "bad" to happen.

[The Man With The Golden Gun]

Among my social circle it'd be considered extremely shocking and unusual to find out that someone didn't have depression.

[congodwarf]

I am lucky because depression is common in my family (both my sisters, my mother, and I are all medicated for it). I never had to worry about how to talk about it. In my case though, I was in extreme denial for a long time and attempted to throw away everything good in my life because I refused to admit it, even while my whole family was insisting I see a professional. After a year and a half away from real life, I finally ended up on antidepressants and I was thrilled to call up everyone I knew and tell them about the amazing change in my life. I might have been even more annoying than my mom was when she first found God (we finally came to an agreement that she will stop trying to convert me and I will gladly talk to her about any religious or scientific topic she wants).

Everyone was thrilled for me and my wonderful boyfriend took me back even though I had made his life hell until I took a hiatus on life. It has been 3 years since I went on medication and I love my life and my family and the support of everyone involved. The amazing thing is that no one in my boyfriend's family openly talks about depression and I have no clue if any of them are suffering from it but they are also totally supportive of me and hold no hard feelings for how much I made my boyfriend suffer.



I feel so sorry for people who don't have such strong support in their lives and it would be an entirely foreign concept for me to not be accepting and supportive of anyone who came to me with concerns about their own mental state.



Oh, I've mentioned this before but my first experience with being medicated was not a voluntary act from me and actually had nothing to do with depression. I was put on Citalopram because of terrible panic attacks I was suffering after a car accident. Once the attacks were under control, I started noticing the massive change in my entire person (mentally, physically....everything).

[ZipperJJ]

I have several friends and family members that I wish would come out and say "I have depression. And I am getting help for it." Too many folks in denial.

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

Originally Posted by The Man With The Golden Gun

Among my social circle it'd be considered extremely shocking and unusual to find out that someone didn't have depression.

I once had to answer a bunch of questions for my father's caseworker while he was in a psychiatric hospital. One of the questions was "Has anyone in his immediately family ever been depressed?"

I had to laugh because I think that question is exactly the same question as "Has anyone in his immediate family been depressed or are they all liars?"

Obviously not every single person experiences depression but it's seems so common the idea that NOBODY in a family was ever depressed strikes me more as an item on a family-wide lie scale.

I don't mean to be insensitive, GreenTreeFrog, to your anxiety about admitting it. But I personally find it confusing that people are so timid about admitting to depression. I understand not seeking treatment (not that I'm in favor of doing that, but I understand it).

As an analogy, lot's of people go months and months suffering from, say, leg pain, without seeking treatment. But I don't know any people who actually deny they're suffering from leg pain out of pride.

[The Second Stone]

All physicians have some experience with psychiatry during their rotations during internship and residency and in med school. They can refer you to someone with greater expertise if they do not have the experience to do stuff themselves. If they won't, get a new physician.

Depression is treatable with inexpensive prescription pills. You do not need insurance to be able to afford pills like generic prozac.

[Imago]

I'd think they have depression. That's it.

Being depressed doesn't mean you suck. It doesn't mean you're awesome. It doesn't mean you can only socialize with depressed people. It doesn't mean that you'd better run and get meds, or that meds wouldn't help you, or that your life is shit, or that you should feel guilty for being depressed despite how great your life is. Doesn't mean you're weird, normal, selfish, kind- it doesn't say a damn thing about you, except that you are depressed. That's nobody's fault, and nothing to be ashamed of or bitter about.

So you do two things: one, reduce the roles of people in your life who think having depression is something you should be ashamed of & replace them with more sensible folks. In fact, spend as little time as possible with anyone who thinks you're crappy. Two, find a way (or several ways) to feel better that work for you- not just the standard routes like therapy and meds (though for heaven's sake, consider therapy at least), but take a look at your lifestyle and environment and see what you could change. For example, if you find that you're lonely, try opening up to people more, or if you find that you don't do anything for enjoyment, try things people tend to enjoy.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Just wondered what people honestly think?

I have depression but would never admit it to anyone in life, shame or something. I don't know.

I'd tell them I was there for them, ask them if there was anything I could do and go from there. If they wanted to talk, I'd listen. If they wanted to not talk about it, that'd be cool, too.

No judgement, no shame.

[monstro]

It took me a long time to open up about it to my family. Even though serious psychiatric illness is rampant in my extended family, it wasn't something that was ever openly discussed as a possibility for me or any of my siblings. My parents are from the old school where any admission of sadness or mental imperfection is met with accusations of exaggeration and/or hysteria. When I was in my early 20s, I tried to talk to my mother about my deepening withdrawal, and she told me I was just reading too much. Talking to her about stuff gave my mother an excuse to preach to me about God and my lack of faith. So when I first started going to psychotherapy, I didn't tell a soul.

Eventually, however, I felt compelled to open up. My father wanted me to go to a family function when I was in the midst of medication experimentation and extreme suicidality, and I couldn't muster up the energy to come up with a good lie. I know it hit him like a ton of bricks because he was so calm and collected about it (which is the opposite of his normal state). But I also know that for him, it must have been like finally hearing the other shoe dropping. He had to have been at least a little relieved that the waiting was over and now he stop ignoring the 800 lb gorilla in the room.

The world didn't come crashing to an end. My family has been nothing but supportive, and while I'm not chatty-cathy about my problems (if I was, I wouldn't be going to therapy), I'm not so private and secretive either. I never bring up the topic with them, mind you. But the shame isn't as bad anymore.

Being secretive and private about it makes it worse. You don't have to wear a t-shirt and broadcast your business to the world. But the shame eats you up inside and impedes the recovery.

[Northern Piper]

Originally Posted by The Second Stone

Depression is treatable with inexpensive prescription pills. You do not need insurance to be able to afford pills like generic prozac.

not necessarily - a close family member suffered from depression all her life even with extensive medication and psychiatric therapy. Prognosis can vary wildly.

[The Second Stone]

Yes, but we need to get the OP in to see a physician to treat the depression. Not all cases are the same. Most cases can be treated. But it can't be treated by surfing the net.

[hamwater]

I feel sad to see anyone suffering from depression. For some people treatment is difficult. They see doctor after doctor, trying all sorts of medicines at different doses and combinations. But for some people one visit and one prescription can make an enormous difference, like a light switch being turned on, and I hate that anyone could be thisclose to feeling better and yet still suffer, when the solution is so damn easy.

Even if you decide never to tell anyone else, one trip to a doctor and one $4.00 prescription can make a world of difference.

[Sudden Kestrel]

Originally Posted by The Second Stone

Depression is treatable with inexpensive prescription pills. You do not need insurance to be able to afford pills like generic prozac.

I think you're missing a word in there, like "sometimes" or "occasionally" or, in my experience, "reportedly." The 2 meds I currently take to keep me upright for most of the day cost $180 per month with insurance, and the depression remains untouched.

I have severe treatment-resistant depression, and there's no way I could hide it from family and friends (whatever those are) even if I wanted to. I'm completely disabled by it, and people start to notice when you haven't shown up for family gatherings for 5 or 10 years. Since depression is not an uncommon disorder in my family, there is no sense of shame attached to it. It's a chronic disease, just like my aunt's thyroid disorder or my cousin's rheumatoid arthritis. Sure, there are a few people who might think I should just pull myself up by my bootstraps or that I "caught" depression from cow's milk , but I'm not likely to enjoy hanging around with people like that anyway and I don't let them affect me.

I did exercise caution about sharing my depression diagnosis with employers, back when employment was an option for me. HR people associate depression with absenteeism, so IMO it's better to keep mum lest they heave you out on your ear.

[TonySinclair]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Worst thing is I have nothing to be depressed about

That's exactly how you know you need treatment. It's normal to be depressed if your house burns down. It's likely a chemical thing if you're depressed for no obvious reason.

[sandra_nz]

How would I feel? Well, first off I would admire the person for being so open and honest with me, and I guess I would feel a bit flattered that they trusted me enough to tell me this. My next thoughts would be around what treatment they are getting and whether there is anything I could do to support them through this time.

I guess I would also wonder if the person has been formally diagnosed with depression. I think the word 'depression' is used as a bit of a catch-all and they might have a different disorder, such as an anxiety disorder, that requires a different approach with different treatment.

The only time I could imagine having a negative reaction would be where someone repeatedly told me they were depressed, but they refused to seek any help, or to consider the full range of treatment methods available. That probably sounds a bit harsh, and I do understand that feeling incapable of improving is often part of depression, but I find it hard to sympathise with those people.

[ladyfoxfyre]

Originally Posted by TonySinclair

My life (and hers) was ruined by my ex-wife refusing to admit she needed help. I get depressed myself thinking how happy we might have been if she had just been willing to take a damn pill every day.

Exactly this.

[azraiel]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Just wondered what people honestly think?

I have depression but would never admit it to anyone in life, shame or something. I don't know.

I've been clinically depressed without knowing it, and it sucks. You'd like to think that the teachers and administrators in a high school would realize that a smart and engaged student doesn't suddenly start failing classes for no reason. Especially when the student's father is two years out of a divorce. And deployed half a world away in Desert Storm. And the father is on leave from that same high school as a teacher. And the kid's guardians are his grandparents, both diagnosed with cancer after dad gets to Dharan. And the deadliest US incident of the war happens less than a mile from dad's post, that for two days we feared it was his post, until a very late-night call. That I was sitting in my dad's classroom--a room that had been part of home for as long as I could recall--watching an irritating and damned near illiterate scrub try to take his place while visceral reminders of dad were everywhere.

No, I'm not bitter that the complete deafness of my father's supposed colleges cost me scholarships, honor society memberships, and admissions.

(I'm not bitter, actually. I cherish the paths I've taken. I'd like to think that someone should have noticed that it was all too much for a 14-year old to handle, though.)

My next major bout was in grad school. The stress was crushing, and I was crumbling under the weight. I remember receiving a letter over spring break telling me that I was accepted to TA a very competitive program. I let out a yawp, jumped straight up, and immediately went back to feeling worthless. Seriously--I had one second of absolute joy before starting to think about killing myself again.

I never got to the planning stage, but the ideation kept me up nights on end. Nothing better for depression than missing sleep, of course.

I went to my professors, ashamed and embarrassed. I asked them for incompletes, and confessed my profound depression. Despite my apprehension, all of them met me with sympathy. One asked me my treatment, another confessed that his beloved wife had struggled with depression her entire life, and the last admitted her depression as a graduate student, remarking that she wished counseling was part of the orientation of graduate students.

A year on medication, and I got through it. Went off the meds, led a balanced life, and generally did okay. Finished the Master's, did a couple of years of scut work, and landed a real professional job.

Then I go back for my PhD, discover my wife's having an affair, go through a divorce, a bankruptcy, and all of the happy attendant fun times. Seven years off the meds and I'm back in the shit. I spend almost every waking minute thinking about suicide. I pull my shit together enough to see a shrink and get onto a med... and things are tolerable. I ain't happy. School is still stressing me out. But I'm doing all right, you know? My kids love me, and I love them. I'm able to provide a roof, food, and space. There are worse epitaphs.

And back to the original point to this story. A lovely and brilliant young lady who is a Master's student in my department was asked to put together a presentation for seniors considering grad school. She asked me for my input, and I related a variation of what the third professor above told me. In short, more than half of you will become depressed, either situationally from the stress or because the stress triggers latent issues.

What sticks with me is look she gave me. It was almost like the sun came out. In a moment, I had given her permission to be overwhelmed, to be stressed, to be depressed. I gave her what that third professor had given me--knowledge that I wasn't alone, wasn't weird, wasn't even unusual.

Now, my own diagnosis is still up in the air. Is my depression chronic? Is it situational? Only time and experience will tell. But for the OP I'll say this: I had your exact same reservations about telling people. YMMV, but no one was anything but compassionate, supportive, and accommodating. If they aren't, then fuck them.

[azraiel]

Dammit! Colleagues, not colleges! The day I make a post without a typo I will surely go to my reward.

[shantih]

Originally Posted by azraiel

Dammit! Colleagues, not colleges! The day I make a post without a typo I will surely go to my reward.

But look, you just did! Good on you, azraiel!

azraiel? azraiel?

:: pokes azraiel with a long stick ::


In all seriousness, I'd hear a statement like that with sympathy and compassion, and hope that my friend or relative was in good professional hands and getting the best possible treatment for something that is difficult and not at all shameful.

[GreenTreeFrog]

Thank you for the responses. Honestly this is the only thing that has ever made me feel "shameful" in my life. I don't want pity from people. I still don't know :P

I've been on various medications including Citalopram but all made me feel like the shell of my former self.

[olivesmarch4th]

Originally Posted by Sudden Kestrel

I think you're missing a word in there, like "sometimes" or "occasionally" or, in my experience, "reportedly."

Just seconding this.

I too have treatment resistant depression. I am the most proactive person I know when it comes to my mental health. In the past ten years I have engaged in a slew of evidence-based treatments and poured an obscene amount of money into improving my mental health. All of them helped in some way, but nothing I have ever done behaviorally, cognitively, or medicationally has been able to cure my depression. There is no cure. This is my life. I have a chronic illness that happens to be psychological. The best thing I can do is learn to cope with it.

I'm pretty open about my depression. Most of my family members also suffer from it, and severe psychological illness is par for the course. I try not to dwell on it, but I also am absolutely not ashamed of it. I strongly want to be a part of breaking the stigma against mental illness, so I'm willing to talk about it like it's no big secret.

And honestly? It's not. Mental illness is incredibly common these days. Probably half the people I know have a therapist. The response you would most likely get for revealing your big secret is, "Me, too!''

[gvozd]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Just wondered what people honestly think?

I have depression but would never admit it to anyone in life, shame or something. I don't know.

I would recommend them a good therapist/psychiatrist.

[Namkcalb]

Originally Posted by Sudden Kestrel

I have severe treatment-resistant depression, and there's no way I could hide it from family and friends

Originally Posted by olivesmarch4th

Just seconding this.
I too have treatment resistant depression. I am the most proactive person I know when it comes to my mental health.

Have you two tried low-dose ketamine therapy? It's shown rapid results for even treatment-resistant depression.

The big downside is it's legally restricted in many parts. I haven't tried it, but if I had no improvement, I'd give it a go.

[flodnak]

I have to admit, my first thought was, "Which family members?" I can't be the only one who has some family members for whom every headache is a migraine, every sniffle is the flu, and every blue day is major depression....

But assuming we're not dealing with the drama queens or kings of the world, I'd want to know how I can help and how I should know when my help is needed. I've seen a black pit inside my own head, and though I've been fortunate enough not to fall into it, the depths of it frighten me when I get too close. If someone I care about has fallen into their own mental black pit, I'd just want to get them out, even though I know there's little I can do.

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Thank you for the responses. Honestly this is the only thing that has ever made me feel "shameful" in my life. I don't want pity from people. I still don't know :P

It's honestly not likely many/any people will pity you. If you went around telling everyone in your life most people would forget the next day and hopefully a few would be supportive. People might pity you if you get cancer or Parkinson's disease but not depression.

[Silver Tyger]

"Welcome to my life, what can I do to help?" Everyone in my immediate family has depression, including me. (Well, mine's gone away, but I'm sure it'll be back sooner or later). Paxil takes care of mine because it's just chemical. It helps my mom's. My dad and my sister need serious therapy but won't get it for reasons too complicated and annoying to get into. My dad has gotten used to the idea that he's going to be depressed the rest of his life.

[Anaamika]

We have a member of the family who is severely depressed right now, and refuses to acknowledge it. Which only means she makes everyone else in the family as miserable as can be, with constant carping, backbiting, bitchiness, and just plain old meanness. She is revelling in it and loves swimming in her own self-pity.

Part of this is the Asian mindset - there are only two options. You are sane or you are crazy. Depression is not acknowledged, and if you are seeing a shrink you must be bonkers.

Part of it is just that she's been fiercely independent all her life and now she is no longer and must rely on the family and it's a bitter, bitter pill to swallow.

Doesn't change the fact that she's got everybody on edge because she refuses to acknowledge there is a problem. And what do you do for people like that?

[Mr. Excellent]

I'd give them the same advice I'd give if they told me they thought they had pneumonia - go see a doctor!

My family has an unhappy history of mental illness; I don't believe in messing around with this stuff.

[Corcaigh]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Worst thing is I have nothing to be depressed about

Depression and being depressed about something are two separate things. the former is a long term debilitating illness, the latter a mood swing </sweeping generalisation>

I have suffered with Depression almost all of my life, meds do nothing for me. I learned to live with it, and treat myself with books, movies, music, horse riding, and anything that helped to lift the gloom.

A very dear friend of mine started to suffer from Depression and didn't realise it, until I pointed it out to her. I gave a a stream of symptoms and she said "yes" to most of them. She refused to accept that it was Depression for the same reason as yourself "but I've got nothing to be depressed about!"

She did eventually go to see a doctor and was treated with meds. Sadly she also started drinking heavily and had a major breakdown. She recovered a few years later, but I've lost contact with her now...

I suggest you visit your doctor and get them to refer you to a therapist. A doctor will often prescribe whatever anti-depressant is 'flavour of the month', instead of the one that will suit your circumstances. Many forms of Depression can be treated with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or ordinary therapy.

best of luck to you!

[Sudden Kestrel]

Originally Posted by Namkcalb

Have you two tried low-dose ketamine therapy? It's shown rapid results for even treatment-resistant depression.

The big downside is it's legally restricted in many parts. I haven't tried it, but if I had no improvement, I'd give it a go.

I vaguely recall my psychiatrist mentioning it with considerable skepticism—and he's very willing to experiment with unusual treatments. Since I'm being forced off of my current medications by my high-buck insurance company, maybe he'll be willing to try it now.

[Ambivalid]

One aspect of treating depression that often frustrates and ultimately derails those suffering from it from successfully treating it is finding the specific antidepressant that works for them. As others have pointed out, there are myriad medicines out there and drs will often first go with the med they are most familiar with-and many times that will not be the medicine that is right for the patient. However, the patient doesn't want to "make waves", considering the somewhat taboo subject at hand; or the patient may feel frustrated and hopeless after trying a few different meds with no good results. Don't give up simply because the first one or two antidepressants don't work (after giving them the proper time to work of course), there are many options out there.

[Namkcalb]

Originally Posted by Sudden Kestrel

I vaguely recall my psychiatrist mentioning it with considerable skepticism—and he's very willing to experiment with unusual treatments. Since I'm being forced off of my current medications by my high-buck insurance company, maybe he'll be willing to try it now.

Well, there's a hospital a few miles from me that is trialing it. I am completing the application form now, and I should be able to write a personal review should I be selected.

[Merneith]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Just wondered what people honestly think?

I have depression but would never admit it to anyone in life, shame or something. I don't know.

Honestly, I think you would be amazed if you found out how many people you know who have similar depression & anxiety problems, and/or who are taking meds for it. I'm not even joking. You are not alone, GreenTreeFrog. Not by a long shot. There's nothing to be ashamed in from this condition.

If a friend or family member told me about their depression, I would tell them about my own struggles with it too. I would tell them that it was a hassle, finding the right drug therapy and the right therapist for me - but it was so worth the effort. I would give them a referral to my therapist, if they wanted one. I would suggest they try reading The New Mood Therapy, by David Burns, which is a book I find very helpful. I would try not to overwhelm them, but I would emphasize that there's help, even if it's hard to see sometimes.

[Broomstick]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Just wondered what people honestly think?

I have depression but would never admit it to anyone in life, shame or something. I don't know.

Depression runs in my family. Not everyone has it, but we seem to lose a person a generation to depression-linked suicide

So I tend to take people seriously when they say they have it. I also strongly encourage them to get treatment.

[cynyc]

Originally Posted by GreenTreeFrog

Just wondered what people honestly think?

I have depression but would never admit it to anyone in life, shame or something. I don't know.

The shame/less than you feelings could be the depression classic. I'm tired--just PM me. If your family tells you to buck up or snap out of it they are The Wrong People to tell.

[maggenpye]

I warn you, the last person who told me they were depressed got a hug. A Big Hug.

And I'm not a huggy person so it was awkward.

Heartfelt, but awkward.

[Namkcalb]

Originally Posted by Namkcalb

Well, there's a hospital a few miles from me that is trialing it. I am completing the application form now, and I should be able to write a personal review should I be selected.

Scratch that, they said I was not suitable as I haven't taken an antidepressant in the last year

[Sister Vigilante]

I would ask what meds if any they are taking. I have been through a plethora and none have helped. My singular favorite moment in life is going to bed.

[Sudden Kestrel]

Originally Posted by Namkcalb

Scratch that, they said I was not suitable as I haven't taken an antidepressant in the last year

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm always finding I'm not eligible for things because I've taken too many medications, never because I haven't taken enough! Hang in, though; they might start up a study without the med requirement.

Originally Posted by Sister Vigilante

I would ask what meds if any they are taking. I have been through a plethora and none have helped. My singular favorite moment in life is going to bed.

Hah! I didn't know anybody else felt that way. I look forward to sleeping like little kids look forward to a trip to Disneyland.

GreenTreeFrog, you can see from this thread that you are far from alone in dealing with depression. I doubt you feel that all of the people posting in this thread should be ashamed of themselves, so why should you feel any shame over having this very common malady?

[Nava]

I would think "HALLELUJAH! Someone who can admit they have it!" Both of my parents have had exogenous depressions* at different times, and their denial was one of the things that made it more difficult to deal with. Their friend Father Mateo had endogenous depression: he'd made sure his friends knew it and that when he got overly gloomy they'd ask "have you taken your pills?" - it was no different than checking whether the diabetics had appropriate snacks.

Then I would ask whether they're in treatment and whether there's anything I can help with.



* For some reason, I hear this from Spanish psychiatrists a lot but not in English. Exogenous depression is one with a clear external trigger, such as a death in the family: a correct mourning process will remove that one, an incorrect process will encyst it and make it permanent, Lithium won't do shit. Endogenous depression is one which is biochemical in origin (and which may also have encysted, if not treated properly): the kind for which therapy may or may not be needed but pills will absolutely be.