Ruled out dating a guy who gives his dog beer?

[Poster]

I was interested in a guy until he mentioned that he buys his dog its own separate case of beer every week, which he feeds it presumably every day. I know many of you are probably laid back about this sort of thing and there are those of you who see this as cruel, but do you think it's a fair reason to be turned off by someone?

I think how people care for their animals indicates how much empathy they have. This is not healthy for the dog, nor can it give meaningful consent about drinking it because it doesn't understand the consequences. To me it's like doing the same thing to a child!

Is it fair for me to assume it says something about his character?

[sugaree]

I would totally give a dog a little beer. But a case a week is extreme and rather unbelievable. How much does this dog weigh, anyway?

[Poster]

It's a case of a smaller-sized beer and it's a big dog. But I think it's a shitty thing to do to an animal, it's not good for it.

[Sicks Ate]

I would question his own relationship with beer, if he thinks it's something important enough to share with his dog.

It's also < healthy for the dog. A case a week? That's 3 beers a day for the dog. Depending on the size of the dog, that's maybe 1/2 to 1/3 of its required calorie intake for the day, with no real nutritional benefit. And I'm not a vet, but that seems like a lot of alcohol to body mass, it's probably bad on the liver and kidneys.

There are some vets floating around, though....

[kayaker]

Is it a good beer? If so, it's a waste of good beer. If not, then he buys crap beer. Either way you are better off without him.

[Poster]

Originally Posted by Sicks Ate

I would question his own relationship with beer, if he thinks it's something important enough to share with his dog.

Perceptive. He had also recently announced he had quit drinking. I think he drank every day, although I don't know if he was actually an alcoholic. But no one announces they gave it up unless they had some sort of problem with it at least.

It's the empathy assumption I'm wondering about. Is it fair to draw a conclusion about his empathy levels from this behavior?

They ARE smaller cans of beer, not 12 oz. But I don't think it's good for the dog and an asshole thing to do to an animal you're supposed to take care of.

[Tom Tildrum]

Originally Posted by sugaree

But a case a week is extreme and rather unbelievable.

Not altogether seriously, I have to wonder whether he thought Poster might look askance at just how much beer he goes through in a week by himself, so he panicked and said, "Oh, this other case is for the dog."

[Poster]

Originally Posted by Tom Tildrum

Not altogether seriously, I have to wonder whether he thought Poster might look askance at just how much beer he goes through in a week by himself, so he panicked and said, "Oh, this other case is for the dog."

He never hid that he drank with regularity, and I am 100% sure he was giving the beer to his animals. He mentioned jokingly that he was annoyed the cat won't drink it so he's not sure they could be friends.

[Sicks Ate]

Well, I get the feeling you did the right thing by ruling him out.

How the hell has nobody registered the name Poster before??

[slm2955]

Originally Posted by Poster

I was interested in a guy until he mentioned that he buys his dog its own separate case of beer every week, which he feeds it presumably every day. I know many of you are probably laid back about this sort of thing and there are those of you who see this as cruel, but do you think it's a fair reason to be turned off by someone?

I think how people care for their animals indicates how much empathy they have. This is not healthy for the dog, nor can it give meaningful consent about drinking it because it doesn't understand the consequences. To me it's like doing the same thing to a child!

Is it fair for me to assume it says something about his character?

No, so stop with the assumptions...

[Poster]

It was the first username I tried just now and it took!

Thank you for answering my question, Sicks Ate. I don't know if it's fair to judge someone's overall character by something like this, but it's my gut feeling.

[Poster]

To be fair there were other things that made me question his empathy. Almost everyone (including me) dislikes one of his (adult) friends who searches for underage girls on the internet that post about having daddy issues or eating disorders, presumably so he can exploit their psychological problems. Everyone thinks he's a creep EXCEPT for him. He loves the guy and thinks it's funny I guess.

[Simplicio]

Seems a little eccentric, but I don't think it reflects poorly on the guy. Presumably the dog likes the beer, and I don't really see any evidence that its bad for the animal.

[Sicks Ate]

Originally Posted by Poster

To be fair there were other things that made me question his empathy. Almost everyone (including me) dislikes one of his (adult) friends who searches for underage girls on the internet that post about having daddy issues or eating disorders, presumably so he can exploit their psychological problems. Everyone thinks he's a creep EXCEPT for him. He loves the guy and thinks it's funny I guess.

So really, the beer thing was your second clue, right?

[Poster]

Originally Posted by Sicks Ate

So really, the beer thing was your second clue, right?

Well the dog thing came first and I didn't completely withdraw but I started talking myself out of him even though I liked him intensely. Then other stuff like that cropped up. I was wondering if it was fair for me to judge him based on the first thing though, or if I was being "uptight."

[Alice The Goon]

He sounds rather immature, if nothing else.

[slm2955]

Originally Posted by Poster

To be fair there were other things that made me question his empathy. Almost everyone (including me) dislikes one of his (adult) friends who searches for underage girls on the internet that post about having daddy issues or eating disorders, presumably so he can exploit their psychological problems. Everyone thinks he's a creep EXCEPT for him. He loves the guy and thinks it's funny I guess.

So you are holding that against him because of his friend?

[Anne Neville]

Originally Posted by Poster

Is it fair for me to assume it says something about his character?

I don't know, but I'd certainly question his judgment. He's spending money on something for his dog that he should know is bad for the dog.

[Poster]

Originally Posted by slm2955

So you are holding that against him because of his friend?

Well the dog thing came first, and the thread subject line is a bit misleading because I didn't rule him out at that point -- I started talking myself out of him and looking for other signs of empathy problems. The fact that almost every other male friend does not find Creepy friend funny, yet he loves the dude, does make me think he has less empathy than average.

[Simplicio]

Originally Posted by Anne Neville

I don't know, but I'd certainly question his judgment. He's spending money on something for his dog that he should know is bad for the dog.

Do you have a cite that its bad for the dog?

[Poster]

Well we all know how alcohol can harm the body and no, dogs cannot metabolize it as well and are more subject to side-effects like dehydration and worse. I think it's abusive to be honest. It's also illegal.

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by Poster

It's also illegal.

Cite?

(Assuming the dog does not drink then drive)

[slm2955]

Originally Posted by Poster

Well the dog thing came first, and the thread subject line is a bit misleading because I didn't rule him out at that point -- I started talking myself out of him and looking for other signs of empathy problems. The fact that almost every other male friend does not find Creepy friend funny, yet he loves the dude, does make me think he has less empathy than average.

Maybe he is immature and doesn't realize it...if you are really concerned you should talk to him about it...

[Poster]

The places I apparently read it was illegal are not credible enough sources. I think what they probably mean is that it absolutely can be cited as animal cruelty, and cruelty is illegal. It probably depends on the circumstance, but I'm not sure.

Re: effects --
From the ASPCA:

"Dogs are far more sensitive to ethanol than humans are. Even ingesting a small amount of a product containing alcohol can cause significant intoxication... Alcohol intoxication commonly causes vomiting, loss of coordination, disorientation and stupor. In severe cases, coma, seizures and death may occur..."

Also:

"Cultivated hops used for brewing beer have been associated with potentially life-threatening signs in dogs who have ingested them. Both fresh and spent (cooked) hops have been implicated in poisoning dogs. Affected dogs develop an uncontrollably high body temperature... which results in damage to and failure of multiple organ systems."

[Robot Arm]

Originally Posted by kayaker

Is it a good beer? If so, it's a waste of good beer. If not, then he buys crap beer. Either way you are better off without him.

It's a craft-brewed IPA; light, and with subtle hints of cat.

[Chimera]

Are you sure it's not a case of Bowser Beer?

[Simplicio]

Originally Posted by Poster

"Dogs are far more sensitive to ethanol than humans are. Even ingesting a small amount of a product containing alcohol can cause significant intoxication... Alcohol intoxication commonly causes vomiting, loss of coordination, disorientation and stupor. In severe cases, coma, seizures and death may occur..."

So is the dog in question showing any of these symptoms?

[Vinyl Turnip]

Originally Posted by Sicks Ate

How the hell has nobody registered the name Poster before??

Good question, but the important thing is that s/he joined the board. Today. And immediately posted an OP on a hot-button subject.

[Sicks Ate]

Originally Posted by Simplicio

So is the dog in question showing any of these symptoms?

Does it matter? Does the dog have to be in apparent physical distress for this to be considered bad practice?

Vet: Why the fuck did you give your dog three beers every day for 3 years??

Owner: Well why not, it didn't get really sick until the last month or so.

[Poster]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

Good question, but the important thing is that s/he joined the board. Today. And immediately posted an OP on a hot-button subject.

Uhhh paranoid much? How is this a hot-button subject when I just googled the topic and can only find 2 disappointing threads about it elsewhere, hence my posting for feedback? I have asked friends and family for their opinion but they are so similar to me that I knew they'd agree with me. I need outside opinions to know if I'm being fair.

[Simplicio]

Originally Posted by Sicks Ate

Does it matter? Does the dog have to be in apparent physical distress for this to be considered bad practice?

Vet: Why the fuck did you give your dog three beers every day for 3 years??

Owner: Well why not, it didn't get really sick until the last month or so.

If a dog doesn't get intoxicated the first time it has a beer, I doubt it would get intoxicated after three years of regular consumption.

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by Sicks Ate

Does it matter? Does the dog have to be in apparent physical distress for this to be considered bad practice?

Bad practice /= abuse or cruelty.

From a legal perspective, animal neglect, cruelty, and abuse each have precise definitions. Feeding a dog beer does not constitute neglect, cruelty, or abuse.

[SmellMyWort]

Is it Red Dog beer? Maybe the guy is just confused.

[billfish678]

If I find out this dog is rich, in a wheelchair, and dating I am so out here...

Now, I knew this guy that had a bullfrog named Jeramiah and some wine and to hear tell they had a good time.

[CairoCarol]

Everyone who is focusing on the precise nature of the effects of alcohol on the dog, and whether the guy is a bad person for not judging the creepy guy, is missing the point. You don't have to condemn the guy, although you can if you want to, in order to advise the OP. The real question is: if these behaviors/attitudes bother Poster, is that reason enough to dismiss him as a candidate for a romantic relationship? To that question, there is only one answer: hell, yes.

It doesn't matter what's objectively right or wrong here. What matters is that you can probably easily divide the world into two groups: those who think giving a dog regular, generous doses of beer is fine; and those who think that's gross and disturbing. A similar division could probably be done with respect to the creepy friend who preys on vulnerable women.

The categories bespeak a fundamental difference in world view. Poster is on one side, and Doggie Beers is on the other. Doesn't sound like a promising relationship to me.

[Chimera]

I asked before and I'll ask again: Are you sure he was talking about regular beer, and not special dog beers - Bowser Beer being one brand. It's non-alcoholic malt and meat flavored "beer" for dogs.

[Simple Linctus]

This is all a bit silly really, isn't it?

And that's about all you can say about the man described by the OP with what we have to go on.

[Poster]

Originally Posted by Chimera

I asked before and I'll ask again: Are you sure he was talking about regular beer, and not special dog beers - Bowser Beer being one brand. It's non-alcoholic malt and meat flavored "beer" for dogs.

100% sure.

[Rachellelogram]

You don't need a reason not to date somebody. One red flag can be a dealbreaker for you, if you want it to be. This guy sounds like a douche, and based on knowing this one thing, I would not date him either. I would never date someone who gave their animals alcoholic beverages EVER, much less on a daily basis.

[hogarth]

If he's pouring the beer from the dog's bowl back into the bottle and giving it to his dad, definitely don't go out with him. He's a real hosehead.

[Ethilrist]

This, like buying FrostyPaws (ice cream for dogs) sounds like a classic case of projection: "Hey, I think my dog wants some beer!" No, dummy, YOU want some beer. Your dog wants water, meat, and maybe some corn chips.

[Rhiannon8404]

Originally Posted by Poster

I was interested in a guy until he mentioned that he buys his dog its own separate case of beer every week, which he feeds it presumably every day. I know many of you are probably laid back about this sort of thing and there are those of you who see this as cruel, but do you think it's a fair reason to be turned off by someone?

I think how people care for their animals indicates how much empathy they have. This is not healthy for the dog, nor can it give meaningful consent about drinking it because it doesn't understand the consequences. To me it's like doing the same thing to a child!

Is it fair for me to assume it says something about his character?

Based on what you have written here, I would not date him. And yes, I believe giving alcohol to an animal on a regular basis is wrong.

[Hampshire]

Don't know if beer is bad for dogs or not.
I'd be more apt to not date him becasue giving beer to a dog on a regular basis is weird/odd.
I choose not to date weird/odd people.

[Dogzilla]

Originally Posted by Ethilrist

This, like buying FrostyPaws (ice cream for dogs) sounds like a classic case of projection: "Hey, I think my dog wants some beer!" No, dummy, YOU want some beer. Your dog wants water, meat, and maybe some corn chips.

Actually, my dog will snatch your beer right outta your hand. She clearly likes beer. She also enjoys coffee, especially if there's Bailey's in it. Okay, so maybe there's a canine AA meeting I can get her into.

That said, I don't go out and buy an extra case for the dog, nor do I load her up with Espresso + Bailey's shooters each morning. Once in a while, I'll let her steal a mostly-empty bottle so she can lick the backwash out of it -- she maybe gets an ounce of beer at a time, if that. She's a 75-pound dog. I never waste my good coffee on the dog, but she'll counter surf, steal my French press, or poke her enormous tongue right into my coffee cup if I'm not paying attention. I'm talking about letting her steal a lick or two here and there, maybe once a month, maybe.

I would consider it abusive to feed the dog many beers every day. To me, that would be tantamount to poisoning your dog to death slowly. But a lick of backwash from the bottle I just finished? Meh... However, in the OP's situation, it sounds like there's more than just the one red flag there, so yeah, DTMFA.

[Poster]

Thank you so much for all of your feedback, everyone. I withdrew from him and felt bad for probably hurting his feelings, but I've been feeling bad and second-guessing myself lately, hence this thread.

[Enkel]

Originally Posted by Rachellelogram

You don't need a reason not to date somebody. One red flag can be a dealbreaker for you, if you want it to be. This guy sounds like a douche, and based on knowing this one thing, I would not date him either. I would never date someone who gave their animals alcoholic beverages EVER, much less on a daily basis.

Every person that I've ever known to give beer to their pets have been raging alcoholics. So, I'd dump his butt and not even think twice about it. (Although, I'd ask for the dog, hoping to find it a new home)

There are some very limited circumstances where beer can be helpful to horses who have a condition that interferes with their ability to regulate their body heat. So, beer for horses can be a sane action to take for a horse that overheated but not sweating ( http://www.thoroughbredtimes.com/hor...not-sweat.aspx )

[ioioio]

Welcome to the Dope, Poster.

There’s no reason to continue dating someone once you realize you’re incompatible for whatever reason. Feelings get hurt, but as long as you’re honest, kind, and polite, you have nothing to feel bad about.

I’ve come across dogs that were fond of beer, and friends who gave their dog a sip or two occasionally. It didn’t bother me, but it would’ve bothered me a lot if it were done in quantity on a regular basis.

[Poster]

Originally Posted by Enkel

Every person that I've ever known to give beer to their pets have been raging alcoholics.

I find it interesting that more than one person pointed this connection out without me explicitly mentioning he was a heavy drinker. (He has since quit drinking.) I don't know if it's fair to hold a former drinking problem against him, although it's also a concern, but since he did quit I didn't mention it as another potential issue.

[Michael63129]

Originally Posted by Simplicio

If a dog doesn't get intoxicated the first time it has a beer, I doubt it would get intoxicated after three years of regular consumption.

Alcohol can cause a whole lot of other problems when consumed chronically.

[moejoe]

Originally Posted by Poster

I find it interesting that more than one person pointed this connection out without me explicitly mentioning he was a heavy drinker. (He has since quit drinking.) I don't know if it's fair to hold a former drinking problem against him, although it's also a concern, but since he did quit I didn't mention it as another potential issue.

Wait now, the dude quit drinking but the dog still gets beer every day? I think it's ok to back away from this one, sounds like one of those paths that ends with a big pile of rubble.