I met a guy recently who I like(d) a lot. We’ve been hanging out, flirting, getting to know each other, doing other misc. cutesy type boy/girl who have crushes on each other stuff. He finally asked me out and we had our first official “date” on Saturday. The date went well.
Then last night we were talking on the phone when I mentioned that I was having a drink. He seemed shocked and sickened by this. “My opinion of you has just been drastically lowered,” he told me. Whoa, whuh err… uhh… Huh? Drastically lowered? What’d I do? Turns out that my drinking alone is a serious problem. Perhaps heavy drinking alone on a regular basis is, yes, but that’s hardly the case with me. I’m not an alcoholic. I never have been, and I seriously doubt I ever will be. I was having a drink. Not that big of a deal. I explained this to him, but was cut off by wild stories of people he used to know who got caught up in drugs and alcohol. That’s terrible. Really, but I don’t have a problem with drugs or alcohol. I don’t do any drugs, never have, and usually only drink in social settings. Occasionally, I will sit at home and pour myself a drink, but I would hardly consider that a problem. Again, I explained this to him, but he didn’t seem to interested in what I had to say. Apparently I’m depressed and have all these issues and am destroying myself. Then I started getting irritated. “Lissssten to me,” I hissed, “This is stupid. We do NOT need to be having this conversation. I am not a boozehound, mmkay?” He gave me a verbal shrug of the shoulders and told me everything wass perfectly okay except that he thought I was “better than that” and that his opinion of me had been “lowered” a lot.
Ouch. That one stung. I was feeling hurt, angry and drunk all at the same time. Why was he being such an asshole? So I asked him. “Why are you being such an asshole?” to which he responded, “I’m not, I just felt let down. I thought you were a smart girl.” Oh for the love of Christ, I couldn’t belieeeeeve he was making such a big deal out of this. I guess the real problem is I wanted this guy to like me, and he was getting all crazy when I didn’t even do anything. I was frustrated and angry and ended up telling him to stop being such a “judgemental fuck.” I didn’t like the way I was being pigeoholed as an alky, primarily because I am not one. He was “let down” by me because of an issue I do not frickin’ have. This is coming from a man who smokes cigarettes, by the way. Cigarettes! So he can pump ammonia into his blood stream on a daily basis, but I can’t sit down on a Sunday night and pour myself a rum and coke? Oh, but the difference is, he says, cigarettes don’t put him in an altered state. So? There are so many things wrong with that statement, that I won’t even start. So I didn’t start.
I got sick and tired of that discussion and his judgement, so I told him we needed to end that topic right then and there. We tried to switch subjects, but by then I was already flustered and irritated. I was clearly annoyed, giving one word responses to everything he said. Eventually, I got sick of hearing the sound of his voice, mumbled a good bye and hung up the phone. He called again today, but I really wasn’t too keen on hearing anything he had to say. Again, I was being short with him. He told me not to be mad and that I was too sensitive. Maaaaan, whatever, I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him.
I don’t think I’m conveying how I felt too well. Imagine you are really getting into someone and he is getting into you. Everything is going swell until one night you go out and you, say, order a drink. He seems disgusted by you. “Oh man, I used to like you, but now you go and do something like this. I don’t know how I feel about you anymore.” You two were really starting to like each other, and he loses it over something stupid. Wouldn’t that hurt and piss you off at the same time? Is it just me? He’s been trying to talk to me, so I gather he still wants to have something to do with me, but now I’m not sure how willing I am to deal with him. Maybe if he would apologize or at least admit that he was being a jerk, I’d feel differently. But right now, I feel saddened and angry. I stopped talking to the guy. I won’t speak to him on the phone and I won’t answer his e-mails. Am I overreacting?
Do I even want to know what this is? 