Build A God

Great Debates
1

Let us have a thought experiment–we at the SDMB shall use advanced physics, of the Reed Richards comic-book variety, to build a God.

Not an all-powerful-creator-of-the-Universe-type God.

Just a rather powerful, multipurpose God as commonly found in Classical societies–a bit like Zeus, Odin or such, but broader based, & less specialized.

Let us begin by listing various powers, & later add attributes.

First: his name is Fred.

All praise Fred, as mentioned in our previous communiques.

Powers, to start with:
[ul]
[li]Controlling the weather.[/li][li]Smiting with lightning bolts.[/li][li]Healing.[/li][/ul]

What else do we need?

2

Fred helps people that help themselves, thereby, anyone worshiping Fred who is fucked axiomatically didn’t help themselves.

3

So long as he’s got the first power, does he really need the second one?

4

The prophets of the internet are clear on this:

:wink:

  • they don’t make prophets like before, they minced no words, the original text said “Don’t ***piss ***her off!”
5

A conscience.

Oh, I’d also vote for a goddess instead of a god.

6

In the classical tradition, I think Fred should have a physical body and the ability (and affinity) to shapeshift. And he’s got a roving eye.

This is assuming we’re building a god for entertainment value. If we’re building a god to benefit humanity, then I’d probably go in a different direction (probably more like a superhero).

7

[ul]
[li]Controlling the weather.[/li][li]Smiting with lightning bolts.[/li][li]Healing.[/li][li]Shapeshifting[/li][li]Immortal (I forgot this one) :o[/li][/ul]
More suggestions?

8

Reed Richards tech, eh? OK.

The world and everything on it is covered and infused with a network of nanobots, including invisible “utility fog” in the air. A “god” has codes that allow privileged access to this network, letting them control aspects of it relevant to their portfolio; a goddess of the hunt can access the portions of the network inside animals; a goddess of fertility & harvest can use it to encourage plant growth or induce conception, a storm god can access the utility fog to move the air and clouds, and generate lightning.

The bodies of the gods are extremely tough and strong artificial constructs that look human on the surface; with perfect self repair, faster, stronger, tougher, better senses, etc. They also have integrated devices that allow them to perform thematically appropriate feats; firing lightning in the case of a storm god, lasers for a sun god, etc. The actual brain and power source (zero point energy) of the god is held in a tiny pocket universe, connected to the main universe by many microscopic wormholes linked to key points of their body (mostly major nerves). Even if the body is destroyed (which takes serious firepower) the brain will move the wormhole endpoints to a safe location, send though some nanoassemblers and construct a new body.

9

Aren’t you jumping the gun on whether Fred wants to be worshiped, or whether all should praise him? We might end up with a deity similar to Umberlee who only seeks frighten sailors and (to a lesser extent) people who live in coastal settlements into worshiping her. Umberlee and her clergy pretty much ignore people who live inland, so people (in that setting) never hear anyone say “All praise Umberlee.”. We might also end up with a deity who is indifferent to worship by mortals.

10

By Christian standards, anybody can be a god. I can do everything Jesus can do.

Walk on water, heal the sick, raise the dead? Sure, I’ve done all that. And if you believe in me, you can, too. You can even move mountains. Or you can just ask me for anything, and I’ll give it to you.

You want proof? Well, I’m not your trained seal, so I’m not going to give you a live demonstration of my powers, but I have these four anonymous accounts — well, actually, fragments of copies of four anonymous accounts that someone was kind enough to piece together to make four more or less coherent accounts of me doing miraculous stuff, although they contradict each other, as well as known history. But if the testimony of people you’ve never met and know nothing about isn’t good enough for you, then obviously Satan has control of your mind.

And as for you doing the stuff yourself if you have faith, well, when I said you could ask for anything and you’ll get it, what I actually meant was you could ask for anything, and if it’s in accord with MY plans, then maybe you’ll eventually see some kind of sign, which will be up to you to interpret correctly.

If you try to move a mountain, or heal your sick child, or drink poison, or let a poisonous snake bite you, and it doesn’t turn out well, then clearly, your faith wasn’t strong enough. Your fault, entirely.

You want more proof? Well, according to prophecy, I will be a great military leader who will expel all the invaders from my country, and reign over a new era of peace. By that, of course, I mean that the invaders will arrest, torture, and kill me, without much resistance.

So send me money. Now.

11

Interesting…I was thinking more along the lines of a computer composed of energy alone (quantum computer?) that could influence matter in an effect like a transporter, but yours is good too.

12

We aren’t discussing Jesus. More like Thor.

Now cheer up, our I’ll be very thor with you. :stuck_out_tongue:

13

To clean my house, really that’s all I can think of for Fred.

14

In that case a god that is indifferent would be a huge improvement on anything currently worshipped.

15

Immortal.

Invulnerable.

Arbitrarily strong: if you point to a boulder, he can lift it.

Arbitrarily knowledgeable: if you ask a specific, meaningful, non-paradoxical question, he can answer it. (“Where did Ambrose Bierce go? What was on the missing 18 minutes of the Oval Office recording tapes? I’m thinking of a number between one and one thousand…what is it?”)

Very, very significantly compassionate. “Good” to the very best of our ability, as humans, to comprehend it.

Willing to TEACH! Willing to take as long as necessary to explain what “good” really means. Able to explain in clear, concrete language. No stupid zen koans. No riddles. Serious, honest, concrete answers.

And, yes, we will become dependent upon him. He might very well explain, “My presence does more harm than good; I am leaving now.” But he owes us the explanation!

16

Don’t come complaining when you get freak hurricanes once every month, then.

17

Fred should be willing to demonstrate his existence through empirically observable means, for the clarity and benefit of mortals.

18

Fred is all-seeing! Thanks to nano-machinery implanted in his followers (the communion is more than just wine!) He can literally see through their eyes, hear through their ears, smell through their noses, and taste with their mouths. He can do this at will so it isn’t always on. The information is recorded so He can go back and experience it at His leisure. The great and mighty Fred also has a massive number of tiny visual and audio recorders hidden around the world. He also has remote control insect machines that He can use to spy inside buildings where heretics, blasphemers and non-believers would seek to hide themselves.

19

I’m not worshipping a male god, sorry. Just not gonna happen. Come back with Winifred – or, let’s be honest, Athena – and we’ll talk.

20

I propose twelve gods-one for each month. Each god will be most powerful in its designated month, and will accept no followers born in a competing month.