This article describes an incident last month when a six-year-old first-grade student was suspended from school "for pointing his finger like a gun and saying ‘pow’ ". According to school authorities and their lawyers, such an action was justified since they had earlier “had an extended conversation with the child . . . (explaining to him) . . . the inappropriateness of using objects to make shooting gestures, . . . (and the) seriousness (of the issue) . . .”.
"Yet, after the meeting with the counsellor and assistant principal, [the boy] chose to point his finger at a female classmate and say ‘Pow’ " wrote Judith Bresler, the school system’s attorney.
My first response upon reading this was that ‘the school’ was obviously wrong and had overreacted. After reflecting on it a bit more, I began to see their point. If you want to teach a child that all threats, talk, and gestures of violence (and not just acts of violence) will not be tolerated, then, perhaps, what they did was justified. Even so, I wonder whether a six-year-old can even understand the difference between gesturing what’s in his imagination and simply imagining it. Does that makes sense?
I also wondered how I would respond if instead of using a pretend gun and saying ‘POW’, he had imitated the motion of slitting someone’s throat (with the typical horizontal slicing motion over his own throat). Would that be okay? After all, it was just a pretend knife.
What do you think?
(I’m a bit surprised this hasn’t been brought up around here yet. I did a search and found nothing, but if I missed it, please just this close thread.)
Out of context, it sounds like a severe overreaction. However, if this kid has a history of pretending to commit violence against classmates, and if classmates have expressed a dislike for it, and the kid has been directed not to engage in this behavior, then the kid is being a bully, and a day’s suspension for deliberately antagonizing classmates is a reasonable reaction to such bullying, not an overreaction to Sandy Hook.
Makes me wonder how when I was a kid, all the neighborhood guys were able to run around all weekend being cops and robbers and cowboys and indians and soldiers with dart guns and whatnot and not all end up incarcerated or shot by a SWAT team.
I basically agree with you. Still, suspension is a stigmatizing penalty for something that was ‘pretend’ and endangered no one, especially for a six-year-old who may be physically incapable of stopping such behaviour (i.e. his brain may not yet be developed to the point of being able to control and separate imaginary play from simply using his imagination.
Dart guns, nothing! Some of the guys in my neighborhood had real guns. Colt .45’s some our Dads brought back from Korea. Firing pins were removed and a block of wood was glued into the magazine well, but otherwise it was real. Not 1 of us robbed a liquor store or were shot by a jumpy police officer. And nobody ever made a fuss about boys running around with real pistols. sigh. :rolleyes: Poor 6 year old. He was just being a boy. Trapped in a world he never made!
Except that it appears the suspension was not for the literal act of pointing a finger and saying POW, but for disobeying previous instructions not to do that again. The suspension was for insubordination, not violence.
Whether that’s a good idea will probably lead to a homeschooling debate.
This. If he was just playing cowboy on the playground it would be a ridiculous overreaction, but if he’s annoying his classmates and won’t stop after being warned, then the school has to do something.
Agreed, if he has already been warned to “stop doing that” (whatever “that” may be) and he keeps at it, some disciplinary action needs to be applied and it’s the school and parents who need to hash out if they disagree what that must be.
That said I also agree that for 6-year-olds the message behind the suspension may not get through properly. To him, “dear, doing this is wrong and you should never do so” may just register as “doing this gets grownups upset at me for some reason”.
Half a loaf is better than none. Some kids are eager to please adults and to learn what behavior is appropriate and to treat their peers with kindness. Other kids? You gotta make the consequences of being a jerk unpleasant enough that they won’t do it any more. If he figures out that pointing his finger and saying BANG gets adults annoyed, and he stops doing it, well, getting him to stop is half the battle.
One of my finest recess teaching moments came when I called a time-out on a game of cops-and-zombies that was getting out of hand with the “I shot you!” “Did not!” nonsense. I gathered the boys around me and explained that they could avoid these arguments by agreeing before the game what the “rules” were: for example, could you shoot zombies anywhere or just in the head? If someone fell over, could you shoot them then? They hashed out some rules and then went off to continue the mayhem.
Sometimes I think it’s good to have male teachers in the lower grades :).
Of course, when one of the boys went off to machine-gun a group of girls playing puppies and kittens, I put the kibosh on that toot sweet. Totally different game when some of the players aren’t willing.
I am quoting myself because I forgot to include my concern, my belief actually, that suspensions and other ‘serious’ (and uniquely applied) punishments may not only stigmatize the kid in the eyes of his peers (and, likely, the school staff), but they may also cause the child to tell himself that “I am bad. I am really bad. Only I got suspended and everyone knows about it”.
It is also my concern, again, my belief really, that a kid who has self-labeled himself as being ‘really bad’ and notes that he received unique, severe punishment (such as a suspension), may enter a self-perpetuating vicious circle of contrary and “bad” behaviour - ‘I am bad, really bad. That’s the way I am - so I will therefore act bad, because I am bad’.
I think it’s ridiculous. He didn’t actually hurt anyone, and if the gesture upsets some kids, well, tough. They have to learn sometimes other people do harmless things that annoy you, and you just have to put up with it.
It strikes me as extraordinarily unlikely that a single suspension would be so utterly devastating to a child’s sense of self esteem, unless he’s receiving literally no positive reinforcement from any other sector of his life. And if that’s the case, the suspension is the least of the problems that kid’s facing.
Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “uniquely applied.” It seems that you’re either suggesting that some other kid be punished, just so the one wo actually did something doesn’t feel singled out, or that your assuming that no kid at this school has ever been suspended before. Neither of these interpretations me as likely, but I’m not sure what else you might be driving at.
I am assuming that it is unique, or very close to it, that a six-year-old gets suspended. Seriously, do you think that suspension is something that is frequently applied to such young kids?
And, if I am correct about that, i.e. suspension being a highly unusual if not unique punishment for a six-year-old, then, yes, I do think it could be devastating to a kid’s self esteem. A punishment reserved for one kid has, IMO, the potential to do just that.
the article as written implies it is not about bullying. it is about labelling an arbitrary action as taboo. I don’t understand how playing finger pistols warrants such an overreaction, nevermind a six-year-old.
actually, scratch that. it is bullying. the school bullies a child into following a pointless rule. bleat or be stigmatised. conform or be rejected. the only way out is to reach adulthood. that, or acquire a gun and show the idiots an action that would actually deserve the treatment he got.
back to Earth though, more likely the kid would not even appreciate the punishment. (no school? yeah!) seems to me the only ones being punished are the parents, cause the teachers are unable to school their kid. how much would it cost them to find a last minute babysitter or leave? would a ridiculous incident like this really mar the kid’s future in any way?
Seems ridiculous overreaction. If I’m reading it right, he did it once before and they explained to him why that was not appropriate and–gasp!– he did it again. He’s six! Have they ever dealt with a six-year-old before? Having to tell one something twice and only twice is miraculous. Would they suspend him if he spoke a second time without raising his hand?
This six-year-old failed to respond even though they explained it to him, eh? That’s pretty funny. Again, maybe this is a young psycho and there are details missing, but my reaction? He’s six. Tell him a few more times, just like you’ll remind him to zip up his fly when he forgets. If you’re in the business of supervising six-year-olds, get used to it. Six-year-olds aren’t always making conscious decisions no matter how much something is “explained.” God almighty…
Sounds fine to me. Honestly, I don’t have a problem with it. When I was a teacher, there was a kid I knew who stood up in class and made some similar gestures and sounds. He got suspended for a week or two. Of course, this was a high school student.
I’m not an expert on early childhood so maybe suspension wasn’t right for him. But at what age do you draw the line on these things?
And how many 6yo have enough attention span or comprehension for that to be deliberate insubordination and not just “oh! You meant I wasn’t to do that ever, ever? OooOOOOO! :smack:”
None of the ones I used to keep from drowning themselves or breaking their dumb necks climbing the chestnut tree did, that’s for sure… Heck, my eldest cousin didn’t get that kind of thing at age 12, he was supposed to be responsible for the rest of us and yeah right, half the trouble the little ones got in was from trying to follow him
Good thing there isn’t a National Finger Association to take up his cause. Maybe it’s time to start to end the cycle. Maybe kids who shoot toy guns or imaginary guns grow up to want do use the real thing. Maybe if we start young that pointing things and firing isn’t acceptable we start to break the cycle. A short suspension might be appropriate.
