Another terrorist was put down tonight. We won’t know with this one if it’s a case of nature vs. nurture because he had a very hard early life. He was quite obviously beaten as a young’un; then he was abandoned, literally left tied up outside. He was taken in & given food & shelter but he lived in a cage for the next three to four months. He was adopted by a loving family who sent him to the finest schools but he was expelled (for pooping on the floor).
Seal Team Six had no involvement is sending him to meet his maker, he was diagnosed with lung cancer just last Monday night & was, sadly, put down tonight.
Yes, the leader & founder of Al-Canineda, Osama bin Labmix has passed. 
The low-life-sonofabitch who originally owned him not only beat him, but literally left him tied up outside a vet/kennel with a note one day before they opened; he didn’t even have the decency to take him inside to abandon him.
When we went to look at him, we were told another family was interested in him also, so I cheated…on the way there for our “interview”, we stopped at the farmer’s market & bought some turkey sticks (think Slim Jims), which I rubbed on my cheeks. All the vet’s staff saw was this dog kissing me like crazy; therefore, we must be a good fit.
As one of the kids was < 3 when we got him, I did everything to him those first few hours/days. I got in his face on the floor, pulled his ears, pulled his tail, but I couldn’t even get so much as a growl out of him. He was the sweetest, most loving dog. I always said he was built from the back forward. He was always happy, as evidenced by the almost always waggly tail. Lots of leg muscles, caused he loved to run & run. An oversized heart, caused he loved to give kisses. However, when they got to the front, there wasn’t room left for a brain (my ex nicknamed him “Dumber than Shit”; I didn’t disagree), or a nose (put a treat in one hand & hold both closed fists in front of him & he only had a 50/50 chance of getting it right.)
When we got him, if I raised my hand to, say, scratch my nose, or my ear, he would cower. So I set out to break him of this habit the best way I knew of, I (playfully) hit him so much that he learned when I hit him he should run away; not with his tail between his legs but up high swishing back & forth, looking for…that toy. “Oh boy, oh boy, it’s play time!!!” Sometimes I’d swing hard, intentionally missing his snout by a few inches, sometimes I’d pin him between my legs & wail away on his tush, sometimes I’d trap him & prevent him from leaving a room until he’d cry “uncle” (by giving me a kiss), but every once in a while, I’d go to give him a loving scritch on the head as I’d walk past & you could see him cower…all cause some fucking asshole beat him as puppy. I swear, if I ever meet that asshole, he won’t have limbs left!
Many a time I would watch him, lying on the floor in the living room & if a crayon rolled off the table, <BOOM> he’d be up & have it in his mouth before the kid could even get up from the table. He destroyed chairs, cushions, pillows, books, magazines, homework, pencils, toys. Oh yeah, he earned his name! (He was a lab mixed with something, Tasmanian Devil, I think.)
Make steak, chicken, turkey, fish, or pasta, he’d be in the other room, even while we were eating he’d lie in the other room. However, if you’d get out stuff for salad, he’d come & beg & beg & beg while you were there cutting it up. Lettuce & carrots were his favorite, but he’d also sit there begging while someone cut up onions or garlic. Offer him a piece & he’d sniff, violently turn his head away & eventually walk away disappointed.
Against my better judgement, we chose a name for him before we brought him home. Boy was what we choose wrong! I firmly believe that you should call a dog “dog” or “puppy” for the first two to three days until they choose their own name. (This is how I came to grow up with a guy whose dog was named “Pizza”; yup, guess what he jumped up on the table to eat his first day!) If you want to serve his memory, don’t send flowers, don’t make a donation, just remember to do this next time you get a pooch.
Thanks for letting me share.
