Today I have to take the best dog that ever was to the vet for the last time. And it is so hard.
I don’t know how to explain to anyone why Odie was the best dog. But I will tell you that he was. 15 years ago my sister-in-law got a dog for their family. MY SIL had terminal cancer and they wanted a family pet but they were really in no position to care for one. Odie was kept tied up outside by himself for most of his first year. When my wife and I would visit them I would try and go outside and play with Odie, who was full of beans and wanted to jump and bark and do anything but be a dog tied to a rope. When my SIL got worse, they finally realized their mistake with Odie. They asked my wife and I to try and find Odie a better home. We knew a woman from work who had talked about wanting a dog, so we we were able to get Odie to her. This relationship lasted a week. She brought Odie back to us and said he was too rambunctious for her. I think she wanted a dog who would wear a little hat and prance daintily beside her. That’s not Odie.
We already had two dogs, one an adopted stray and another discarded by someone else. Both were good natured so why not bring home a third? We live out in the country in the woods and everyone out here allows their dogs to run around. What’s another addition to the pack going to matter? He’s such a little dog. So Odie moved in with us.
The vet said Odie was a Dixie Dingo, which I think is a fancy way of saying “crazy little brown mutt with a pointy nose.” However if you google Dixie Dingo you get pictures of a dog not unlike Odie.
The lead dog in our neighborhood was Biscuit, a good-natured golden retriever. She was king of our little hill of houses and all the dogs knew it. Odie accepted this at once because most dogs understand animal hierarchy. So it was good with the neighbors’ dogs. Unfortunately it was less so with some neighbors and their kids. Odie and our next door neighbor Kim got into it early. He would bark at her but never bite. He also barked at the two boys from up the road. I remember getting home from a family Thanksgiving dinner to find a call on our answering machine frantic over how our dog had been barking and the neighbors kids had been screaming. We had to do something about Odie.
And they were right, of course. Not every dog adapts to strangers easily. We had made a mistake in assuming Odie would acclimate easily as other dogs had done. It was our fault and the neighbors were completely justified. But I was surprised because Odie was so little. I couldn’t see how anyone could see that dog as a threat.
So our yard got fenced in and Odie was always on a leash when we walked him. He adapted because here’s the thing about Odie. He was smart. Now everyone says their dog is smart but I have had dogs my whole life and never one this smart. If I devised a game, Odie would figure it out. He knew by our actions when my wife and I were going to work or just going out on our own for something. If it was the former he accepted it, if something else he wanted to go along and would not be happy if excluded. He quickly maneuvered our in-home dog politics to rule the roost. He was small, so no fighting. But nonetheless after a year it was clear to the older and larger dogs that Odie was the leader. Odie slept on the bed. Odie got the place on the couch.
Odie was always healthy and agile. I loved whenever I could take him onto lonely paths in the mountains and let him off the leash to run. He loved to run. He’d never run off and I knew he’d be just up ahead, around the bend in the trail. Stop for a water break and he’d be right back, wondering why we were not just behind. He excelled at the tug-of-war, he was unfoolable at playing hide-and-seek. He could catch the ball and the treat. He always wore me out playing before I wore him out. He loved to eat and scheme to try and get the cat’s food whenever I wasn’t watching.
But more than smart I had an understanding with Odie. We got each other. I have had many great dogs over my life, but only one other time did I have a connection this deep. I don’t know how to explain it better, but I imagine other dog owners understand. I could look at him in the eyes and he and I both would know what was going on. It’s an amazing thing to have that relationship with an animal. To share a knowledge of the world with a dog is very special. And I am going to miss that relationship so very very much. A meaningful piece of my life is going to be gone and I will not get it back.
As Odie got older he mellowed. Sure he would always growl at our one neighbor’s car whenever it went by. He was suspicious of new people but every once and a while Odie would surprise me and get along with someone new. (When my family gets together for a week every year Odie always seeks out my brother and sits beside him on the couch or in his lap. My brother, who has no wife, kids or pets himself, will always give Odie full attention. This makes me happy.)
Finally my neighbor Kim moved away and the other neighborhood kids grew up and went off to college and life. We let Odie loose again a few times and soon he was free to roam again with everyone’s blessing. Biscuit died and Lucy the silly hound moved in and while Odie didn’t try and run the hill, he was respected by the others. He was at peace with the squirrels and the deer and any cat that might come by.
Life is hard. Work is demanding. But we always have had our dogs to greet me and my wife when we get home. To make our day a little better despite the difficulties and the ugliness in the world. And today I have to take this dog who has been my best friend and put him to sleep. He got sick about a month ago and quit eating. The vet says cancer. I have almost taken him in several times over the past week, but then he will eat a little, or climb up on the couch next to me, or look at me with his eyes that show he is still there in that failing body. I wanted to hold out hope. But he can’t stand up today and I cannot stop crying but it has to be done.
Thank you for reading this. I know it can never convey how truly remarkable this dog was. I am sorry I don’t have the words to say it right. But Odie was the best dog that ever was, and I loved him as much as I have ever loved anything. And it hurts so much to see him go.
