The more I talk to other people about their sex life, the more confusing it gets. It seems majority of the men like it with multiple partners.
Why is that ? Is there no such concept as “the one”… 
No. I’m a married man. I won’t cheat on my wife. Therefore, every man in this world is not inclined towards infidelity.
The majority of men may have some desire for multiple partners, but that doesn’t mean the majority of men act on those desires. And I don’t see any reason to believe women are significantly different than men in regard to this.
^This.
The old saying is funny tho untrue:
A woman looks for one man to meet her every need.
A man looks for every woman to meet his one need.
Let’s move this to IMHO.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
Let’s move this to IMHO.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
sex isn’t everything.
Dudes and Dudettes :
I am not accusing all the men or women here… Its just a thought… I just said they have an inclination… That doesn’t mean people act on them… Maybe its some kind of responsibility that prevents them… I don’t know… I am just trying to get your views on this so that I satiate my curiosity…
Not the single ones.
If you look across history at polygamy in different societies and culture and even at the animal world, it’s not exactly uncommon.
To answer the question, is every man in the world inclined toward infidelity? I would say the answer is No because the question is an absolute.
If the question was phrased “are men in general more inclined toward multiple partners than to monogamous fidelity”, I would say “yes” on the proviso that having the inclination doesn’t necessarily mean acting on it.
This is why I don’t think I ever want to get married. It’s not enough for a man to BE monogamous (although a lot of wives would be thrilled to even get that), I would want my husband to WANT to be monogamous. Sure, it does happen, but what a risk to take. He might love monogamy today but 20 years from now, who knows?
I think it’s an even split. Just as many men as women do it, which I’d say is about 10% of people.
Being a gay man I feel like I can say with almost 100% certainty that men are more likely than not to want multiple partners.
It’s very common in successful, stable gay relationships to include 3rd (or 4th or 5th) parties in their sex lives. It works well for gay couples because both men typically want to have fun with new partners, while still having the stability of a romantic, committed relationship.
There are also many, many gay males who just like to have sex, a lot of the time anonymously, with many random people as much as possible. If you doubt this, check out a craigslist M4M section sometime! Warning… it’s pretty intense and extreme.
So yeah, I think men overall are more inclined to want multiple sexual partners than not. As compared to women though, I absolutely cannot say.
33+ years with my wife and I’ve never strayed. That doesn’t negate the fact that I, like all males (regardless of species) have a built-in desire to spread my seed as widely as possible to as many partners as possible.
Humans, at least modern ones, tend to frown upon this. While monogamy may be the gentlemanly thing to subscribe to, it is absolutely contrary to natures master plan. On the evolutionary scale marriage is one of the dumbest things a human male can subject himself to.
Infidelity may be the breaking of a social contract, and opposite of the norms of our current world. But to insist that those institutions are somehow superior to, even stronger than the instinct all males have received from nature is just arrogant!
If you don’t know that women have the “inclination”, you are deluded.
People like to fuck. The wedding band does not change that.
Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman, rich or poor, believer or heathen.
Your mom likes to fuck. Yes, she does. So did mine.
If you’'re a woman, think of it in terms you may have experienced.
Take clothes. It is often said that most women feel more stronly about clothes then most men do abou sex, right?
Now, take you. You have clothes. They serve you well. You might like to window shop for new clothes, and you may like to leaf through magazines, but that does not mean you want all those clothes. Or that you can pay for them. Usually you dont think so much about your clothes at all, you’re too busy with everyday life.
Now imagine that your old clothes would be really hurt if you bought too many new clothes, and that you would have to pay lots of alimony, lose your home, and see less of your children. And be labeled a heartless vain bitch by your friends and family for buying new clothes against the will of your old ones. All of that would be a strong deterrent against buying new fancy clothes, right?
That doesn’t mean there aren’t women around who literally bankrupt themself to buy new clothes, or women who get rich or marry into wealth because they really, really like the luxury of new clothes as often as they like.
It als doesn’t mean that many women like the pleasure of clothesshopping, or even just windowshopping. Maybe a man looks at a nice women the same way a woman looks at a real cute handbag.
Agreed with everything you said except for this.
Monogamy might sometimes be the right strategy, depending on circumstances. It might make sense to protect and nurture a single “investment” than to continue to spend effort trying to attract additional mates, particularly for the non-alpha males*.
But I admit such a phenotype would probably mean the behaviour of not actively seeking additional partners, rather than refusing offers of sex (which would almost never make sense for males). None of this is an opinion about how modern society should work.
And I assume “natures master plan” was just poetic language.
- I think these are the exact words I’ll use for my wedding vows
My partner and I are both men, and neither of us “inclines” towards infidelity, in the 25+ years we’ve been together.
It’s like overeating.
Some people’s appetite naturally conforms with their metabolism such that they burn exactly what they take in, if not more. They tend to be underweight.
On the opposite extreme, some people’s appetite wildly exceeds their metabolism. Whenever presented with food, regardless of the fullness in their belly, they want to eat. They tend to be obese.
In the middle is most people. They don’t stay in a constant state of psychosomatic hunger, but they are often tempted to overeat. Especially if the opportunities to do so are plentiful. But the key is that they can control themselves with a little willpower and thought.
Infidelity is no different.
What counts as “want to be”–or, to the OP, what counts as “inclined”? I love my husband. I’ve certainly never entertained the thought of cheating on him in any serious way. I wouldn’t cheat on him even if I were given a 100% no-chance-of-getting-caught pass, because 1) it would offend my sense of integrity 2) it would damage my relationship with him, even if he didn’t know it 3) actual sex with anyone not him would be really weird and awkward. But I’ve seen hot movie stars and thought “I bet that would be fun–it would be a shame to have to turn it down”. Is that enough to get me off the “perfect monogamist” list?
People are complicated and can have multiple contradictory emotions at the same time. It’s quite possible to be “inclined” toward something while, at the same time, being inclined the other way, as well.