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  #1  
Old 07-09-2013, 09:10 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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[GAME] Tom Swifties!

The rules:

1. No looking them up elsewhere - just what's between your ears, or what you can make up.
2. One per post.

Kicking things off....

"The Royal Navy's seizure of American sailors was a major cause of the War of 1812," Tom said impressively.
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  #2  
Old 07-09-2013, 09:14 PM
MLS MLS is offline
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"I've dropped the toothpaste!" said Tom, crestfallen.
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  #3  
Old 07-09-2013, 09:50 PM
SCAdian SCAdian is online now
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My favourite: "I make work surfaces for kitchens," Tom said counterproductively.
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  #4  
Old 07-09-2013, 09:51 PM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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I have no idea if this is original but how about:

"That Australian burger tasted rather odd," said Tom ruefully.
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  #5  
Old 07-09-2013, 10:16 PM
Bayard Bayard is offline
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"I do not care for Daniel Day Lewis' acting," said Tom, methodically.

Last edited by Bayard; 07-09-2013 at 10:17 PM..
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  #6  
Old 07-09-2013, 10:29 PM
MLS MLS is offline
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"I've lost my flower," said Tom, lackadaisically.
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  #7  
Old 07-09-2013, 10:31 PM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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"I've plaited my hair!" Tom brayed.
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  #8  
Old 07-09-2013, 10:49 PM
MLS MLS is offline
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"I love the time after sunrise," said Tom, mournfully.
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  #9  
Old 07-09-2013, 10:53 PM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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"I can't believe I'm going to drown, right here in Cairo," Tom said in denial.
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  #10  
Old 07-09-2013, 11:03 PM
Amateur Barbarian Amateur Barbarian is online now
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"I wish I had a BB gun," Tom said lackadaisically.

"Darn power saws," Tom said offhandedly.

And my all time champeen fave...

SPOILER:
"Coming, Mother!" Oedipus ejaculated blindly.

Last edited by Amateur Barbarian; 07-09-2013 at 11:05 PM..
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  #11  
Old 07-09-2013, 11:05 PM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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"Well, I didn't expect the JM Barrie play to end like that," said Tom, deadpan.
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  #12  
Old 07-09-2013, 11:50 PM
MLS MLS is offline
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"I can't take the exam; my pencil is broken," said Tom, pointlessly.
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  #13  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:01 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper The Other Waldo Pepper is offline
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"I withdraw the statement," Tom exclaimed.
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  #14  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:07 AM
It's Not Rocket Surgery! It's Not Rocket Surgery! is offline
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"I drive a 20-year-old Chevy," said Tom, cavalierly.

Last edited by It's Not Rocket Surgery!; 07-10-2013 at 12:08 AM..
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  #15  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:11 AM
Johnny Bravo Johnny Bravo is offline
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"My favorite beers are from Oregon," Tom said roguishly.

Last edited by Johnny Bravo; 07-10-2013 at 12:11 AM..
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  #16  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:22 AM
MLS MLS is offline
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"I've got lots of dish detergent," Tom said joyfully.
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  #17  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:25 AM
Mister Rik Mister Rik is offline
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Okay, I just made these up.

"This beer was made with too many hops!" Tom said bitterly.

"My former girlfriend was always quoting from Wikipedia," Tom said excitedly.

"I'm a big fan of open source software," Tom admitted freely.
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  #18  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:39 AM
MLS MLS is offline
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"I caught a great white shark!" Tom said superficially.
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  #19  
Old 07-10-2013, 02:26 AM
TPWombat TPWombat is online now
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"I'm likely to be eaten by a grue," said Tom, darkly.
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  #20  
Old 07-10-2013, 03:49 AM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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"Rounding up cattle with an airplane is really scary," whispered Tom, terrified of being overheard.
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  #21  
Old 07-10-2013, 08:13 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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"Oh, I never cheat at poker," said Tom winsomely.
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  #22  
Old 07-10-2013, 08:43 AM
RobDog RobDog is offline
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"Beware the hayfield," said Tom, balefully.
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  #23  
Old 07-10-2013, 09:02 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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"I'm going to have the biggest, gaudiest holiday display this town has ever seen," said Tom meretriciously.
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  #24  
Old 07-10-2013, 09:07 AM
White SIFL White SIFL is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colophon View Post
"Rounding up cattle with an airplane is really scary," whispered Tom, terrified of being overheard.
::Like::
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  #25  
Old 07-10-2013, 09:10 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is online now
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"Don't make me get all stabby," said Tom pointedly.
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  #26  
Old 07-10-2013, 09:15 AM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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"Touché," said Tom, with a pronounced French accent.

(PS White SIFL, I was going for the most contrived one possible, there )

Last edited by Colophon; 07-10-2013 at 09:16 AM..
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  #27  
Old 07-10-2013, 09:26 AM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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And what the hell, I'll go for a double - this doesn't count as two per post, right?

"The singers' mics are all at different levels," said Tom unequivocally. "And the drum sound needs more echo," he added, ignoring the repercussions.
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  #28  
Old 07-10-2013, 10:06 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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Amateur Barbarian, Mister Rik - just one per post, as the OP rules state, if you please.

Colophon, c'mon, that was two different sentences.

"Tyrion is my favorite Game of Thrones character," Tom said impishly.
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  #29  
Old 07-10-2013, 10:09 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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"I don't think I understand one episode out of that entire series," Tom said Lostly.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 07-10-2013 at 10:09 AM..
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  #30  
Old 07-10-2013, 10:49 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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"I really hate the early films of Audrey Hepburn," Tom said disingenuously.
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  #31  
Old 07-10-2013, 10:57 AM
FuriousGeorge FuriousGeorge is offline
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"Another Al Pacino movie marathon?", Tom asked overdramatically
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  #32  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:03 AM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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"As a child I was babysat by Korea's biggest pop star!" said Tom psychotically.
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  #33  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:05 AM
FuriousGeorge FuriousGeorge is offline
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"We're having... triplets", Tom's wife said with a pregnant pause.
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  #34  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:06 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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"I wish I had other choices than Windows, DOS and LINUX," Tom said morosely.
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  #35  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:18 AM
Dolores Reborn Dolores Reborn is offline
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"I love this yellow vegetable!" said Tom, cornily.
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  #36  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:21 AM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
"I wish I had other choices than Windows, DOS and LINUX," Tom said morosely.


"Et voilà," said Tom gravely.
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  #37  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:30 AM
Amateur Barbarian Amateur Barbarian is online now
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"Put the bunny back in the box!" Tom said cagily.
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  #38  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:43 AM
It's Not Rocket Surgery! It's Not Rocket Surgery! is offline
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"The inside of this chimney is covered in soot!", said Tom, sweepingly.
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  #39  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:50 AM
Amateur Barbarian Amateur Barbarian is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by It's Not Rocket Surgery! View Post
"The inside of this chimney is covered in soot!", said Tom, sweepingly.
"You could have warned me about that first," Tom Jr. said darkly.
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  #40  
Old 07-10-2013, 11:54 AM
Trion Trion is offline
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"I have heart problems.", Tom murmured.
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  #41  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:36 PM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trion View Post
"I have heart problems.", Tom murmured.
"The doctor says it's cardiomegaly," said Tom with a heavy heart.
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  #42  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:47 PM
Bayard Bayard is offline
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"I have no idea what groceries to buy," said Tom listlessly.
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  #43  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:48 PM
Johnny Bravo Johnny Bravo is offline
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"I never met an entomologist I didn't like," said Tom waspishly.
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  #44  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:57 PM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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"I'll never be able to afford that Vespa," Tom moped.
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  #45  
Old 07-10-2013, 12:58 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colophon View Post
"I'll never be able to afford that Vespa," Tom moped.


"I can't afford the kennel fees, and I can't afford to have her spayed," Tom bitched.
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  #46  
Old 07-10-2013, 01:18 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is online now
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"I have a problem producing and maintaining an erection," Tom said limply.
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  #47  
Old 07-10-2013, 01:29 PM
Mister Rik Mister Rik is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir View Post
Amateur Barbarian, Mister Rik - just one per post, as the OP rules state, if you please.
"Oops, I somehow didn't see that part," Tom said blindly.
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  #48  
Old 07-10-2013, 01:41 PM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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Originally Posted by Mister Rik View Post
"Oops, I somehow didn't see that part," Tom said blindly.
"I didn't know I was only supposed to post one Tom Swifty," sang Rik in a high treble.
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  #49  
Old 07-10-2013, 01:49 PM
Shodan Shodan is online now
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"Too many Chinese railroad workers here," said Tom coolly.

Regards,
Shodan
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  #50  
Old 07-10-2013, 01:54 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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"He fired his pistol first!" Tom shot back.
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