My new cell phone was stolen yesturday. I'm an idiot.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I met a woman on an online dating site. She said her name was Nicki and she was very pretty and seemed like a nice person. She invited over to her place the very day that we met online. We exchanged numbers, called each other a few times before I left to her place.

So I drove to the address she gave me. She wanted to meet me out in my car, which I assumed was a safety precaution. I was fine with it. She entered my car and we had a pleasant chat, although it difficult for me to understand what she was saying a lot of the time. I don’t know how to say this politely, but she grew up in the city I presume and wouldn’t make a good English teacher. But she seemed really sweet. She also revealed to me that her name wasn’t Nicki, but Tosha. She said she gave me the wrong name because she had just met me.

As we were in the car, she said she had to call her son, so she took her cell phone out, but her son wasn’t answering her calls. She asked if she could use my cell phone because her son might pick up not knowing it was her.

She was leaving my car as she was making the call. Like I said, I had a very difficult time understanding her, and I don’t think she was clear about her plans. She instructed me not to leave the car. She mentioned something about getting her kid to through down a key she needed from her apartment window, something about getting her kid to a babysitters house, and she told me that she would pull up next to me with her truck. Before I realized that she still had my phone, she was gone. (I know, I’m an idiot).

I had no idea how long it would take for her to come back. I wondered if she was taking her kid to the babysitter’s house while I was waiting, but I, (being a moron), assumed she would be back within 10 minutes. It’s winter time in Buffalo… surely she wouldn’t have me wait in the car for too long. Plus she had my phone.

I don’t exactly know how long I waited for her to come back. Two and a half hours sounds about right.

At that point I was almost in tears. My parents bought me that phone for my birthday. It was $200, and it was my first smart phone. I LOVED that phone. After I realized that she was probably not coming back, I went to my brother’s apartment to use HIS phone to call the girl. Her number was in my phone, but she gave me her number on the website where we met… so I go to look at the message she sent me with her phone number on it, but the message disappeared. So I tried to call MY number from my brothers phone, but she didn’t answer. I tried contacting her on the web site we met at, but she had blocked me.

Well, I called Verizon first and canceled the phone out so she couldn’t use it. Then I called the police. They said to come down to the station to file a report. My brother and I did that, but the cops didn’t seem too optimistic about getting it back.

We got a warranty on the phone… but it’s going to cost some money to get a new one. This is embarrassing to admit, but my mother was furious at me when I told her. I guess she has a right to be. Right now I’m more upset with myself than I am at the woman that stole the phone. I know it’s just a phone, but this experience has put my in a dark place that I haven’t been in for a long time. I’m really depressed about everything, I’m worried about the money I have to spend on a new phone, and I’m mad at myself. I’m sad that someone would take advantage of me. I’m a lonely guy, and I was excited for the date.

I know they say “live and learn”, but I really dropped the ball on this one. And, though I’ve learned from this mistake, I’ll probably do something stupid again within a week, because I’m so naive. My mother being disappointed in me stings the worst.

I had to rant. If anyone has any suggestions on what to do now, I would be happy to hear them. If anyone wants to grill me about letting a stranger walk away with my cell phone, I deserve it, so bring it on. I’m going to take a nap soon… because that’s what I do when I’m this depressed. I really hate myself right now.

2

I’m sorry you got conned, but you then did the right things:

  • cancelled the phone
  • told the police
  • learnt from the experience

I think there were a couple of warning flags:

  • she wanted to meet you in person immediately
  • she gave you a false name (or two)
  • she wanted to take your property and leave

Sadly there are a few criminal out there (e.g. I get daily e-mails offering me lottery wins / Nigerian bank accounts / computer repairs.)
But hopefully you will meet a decent person.

Just to cheer you up:

  • when I bought my first mobile phone, it cost $50. I was excited. The seller said I should get it insured in case I dropped it. He got me to fill in a form and pay the premium of … $50. :smack:
    So the insurance was completely worthless - and I didn’t even think what I’d done until I got home.
3

Wow, man, I’m sorry. FWIW, I don’t think you’re an idiot. These sort of things happen.

Did she know when you went to meet her that you had the new phone? I’m just trying to figure out whether it was planned from the beginning or whether she was meeting with you just in case you had something worth stealing or whether it was entirely spontaneous on her part.

4

I don’t think you were stupid, but yea how did she know you had a nice phone? I’m wondering if she had robbery in mind and settled for the phone or something.

Was her pic on the site a real one? If so you might get some satisfaction from keeping an eye out for her to post in a new name.

5

Yes. When we first talked on the phone I called her by mistake instead of texting her. I told her it was because I was still learning about the new phone I got. She asked what kind it was, and I told her. Later when she was in the car, with my phone on her, she mentioned she didn’t like the type of phone I had because it was too big.

Thank you glee, but I think I was an idiot. My parents warned me about meeting a girl in a non-public place. I figured that was something only women really had to worry about. I was wrong. This is not the only thing that happened this month that my parents were disappointed in me about. I got a speeding ticket, and my credit card bill is very steep this month.

6

MyFootsZZZ, I’ll try and be gentle but something probably should be said and I’m trying to do this in your best interest. You’re 33 years old and you don’t appear to be very proactive in making your life a better, more mature experience. Are you still living with your parents? You say they bought you the phone and you appear to be answering to them for everything, your tickets, bills, etc. About the theft, you obviously were targeted and that really sucks but what bothers me more is that instead of coming to terms with the fact 5 minutes after it happened you sat there for two and a half hours and were close to tears over the matter. Instead of forging some resolve to be less naive and taking steps to earn enough for another one you say it’ll probably happen again and you’re going to go to bed so you don’t have to deal with it. Dude, man the fuck up. If you keep letting every total stranger in the world take advantage of you and dictate your happiness you’re in for a lifetime of hurt. It’s up to you to learn from life’s experiences, chart a mature course where you can achieve some self respect and to take life’s challenges head-on, deal with them like an adult and reach the goals you set for yourself.

I really don’t mean to be harsh and I’m really sorry about what happened but from your OP it’s sounds emblematic of a bigger issue, and that’s your willingness to be overcome by self pity. If you want things to improve for you then you have to be proactive, envision and reach for what make you happy.

Take charge. I honestly wish you the very best in this regard.

7

You asked for suggestions for what to do. As a fellow depression sufferer, I will make one: don’t take naps when you feel bad. Do something active instead. I go to the gym and walk when I feel like you do (I’m an idiot, nothing ever goes right, life sucks, I’m an idiot). Getting some exercise seems to help shut off that loop in my brain. Taking a nap doesn’t. So, get up and do something.

Also, as a way to stop the loop of beating yourself up, start telling yourself stories of how to avoid these things in the future. Credit card bill too big: next month I am not going to charge anything. Maybe I’ll sell some stuff on Craigslist. etc. This helps too.

Good luck. If you want to talk about surviving depression you can PM me. And: you’re not an idiot, you just fucked up. Trust me, everyone fucks up. Everyone.

8

Also, maybe I’m looking at this too much from a female perspective, but it would have set off alarm bells for me that the first place she wanted to meet was NOT in public with plenty of others around (like a coffee shop or something), and that she unhesitatingly got into the car alone with OP. OP, you sound like a really nice guy, but I just wouldn’t do that with a strange man. That she was so willing to would have made me wonder if something else was up.

9

No. I don’t live with my parents… but I rely on them a lot because I have some problems. You’re right though. You’ll be happy to know that I didn’t take a nap and I’m being proactive. You’re absolutely right though. I am trying to be as independent as possible right now. I do need my parents assistance in certain things… But I do need to man up about it.

Thank you for your candor.

10

MyFootsZZZ, the upside of this lesson is that at least you didn’t get rolled for your wallet and beaten up by a large, violent confederate of this woman. Had you gotten out of the car to look for her, I wonder if you might have encountered something like that.

We’ve all made stupid mistakes in our lives, and if this helps you develop a better sense of when you should and shouldn’t trust someone, then some value will come from it.

It does sound like your parents may be a little too entangled in your life, to the point where they may be enabling what you describe as your “naivete.” They may be blocking you in some ways from developing your own coping mechanisms.

Don’t beat yourself up. It wasn’t worthless; it would pay off for you the second time you dropped the phone.

11

Selling things on the internet is actually a good idea. I will try to take steps in not beating myself up over it. Thank you for your advice. Like I said last post, I didn’t go to sleep. I’m feeling much better now. It wasn’t JUST that I got my phone stolen, the whole thing bumbed me out. I was so happy to be on a date.

I’ve deffinetly learned from this. As the time passes, I’m feeling better.

12

It’s hard to explain without getting into a long explenation. Like I said, I have some problems and need my parents help with a few things. I’m becoming more independent, but at times like this, I feel like I need someone to be dissapointed in me for my recent actions.

My folks aren’t that worried about it, and it’s all on me to get a new phone, so their reaction wasn’t as bad as I thought. They basicly said that it was my problem. So.

13

do android phones come with a “find my phone” feature?

14

Dating someone new is scary enough without having to be worried about getting targeted by thieves.

You do realize the dating site will have her real name, address etc? She had to pay the subscription fee with a credit card or paypal. The cops could easily find this lady if you filed a police report.

Either way, you need to notify the web sites admin about this lady. So she doesn’t use her dating profile to target other men.

15

A bunch of dating websites don’t require real names or credit cards.

16

You’re most kind, but after a year or so I did drop the phone. It was undamaged. :smack:

17

Yes, it is called “Android Device Manager” and doesn’t require downloading or installing anything on the phone itself.

From any browser on any computer with an active internet connection, simply log into the primary Gmail account assigned to your phone and then, in the URL field of your browser, type in: https://www.google.com/android/devicemanager. If the phone is on, you will be shown exactly where your phone is on a map.

18

That’s cool beans! I’ll have to remember that when I finally break down and get a smart phone.

And definitely something the OP should try before he totally gives up on recovering his phone.

19

Look at the bright side, at least she didn’t borrow your car.

20

Ok, that’s pretty neat.