Why do people insist on interrupting others to ask questions that are not urgent? Every now and then we all interrupt, whether accidentally or without bad intentions. But there are people who have a habit of interrupting others very often and for the most minimal reasons that were not urgent. Are some people simply not aware that this is socially unacceptable and rude? Or do they not care? Perhaps a combination of both. Especially in a work environment, it is very frustrating when I am in the middle of a conversation or explaining something to someone, and a co worker interrupts me to ask me something completley unrelated that was not urgent and could have waited the 2 minutes for me to finish. The interruption makes me lose my train of thought and it is frustrating. :dubious: There are times when I don’t mind, because my conversation is not that in-depth or even important, and I can easily switch between various people. But when I am in a conversation that requires my concentration, or even on the phone trying to understand what someone is saying because their phone gets crappy reception, people seem to not understand these social cues and realize they need to wait, or even look to me and see if I motion them to wait, instead they just barge in. What does everyone think? Do you think this is a learned behaviour? It almost seems to me to be a mindset of " pay attention to me right now", like something some young children do.
It’s not simple. But since you can’t control other people’s behavior you might start by asking yourself if you are insufficiently concise, challenging people’s ability to maintain focus on your point.
I am talking about people interrupting me when I am speaking with another person.
I’m already bored with this.
Because some people can follow multiple trains of thought simultaneously and it doesn’t occur to them that you may not be able to.
ETA: didn’t see the part about it being interruptions of conversations with other people. In that case, it’s because they’re assholes.
I’m inclined to think that it’s because they are rude idiots. I don’t know if knowing that will help you or not. You may have to train yourself to say “I’m in the middle of something right now. I’ll be with you when I’m done.”
I am a recovering interrupter – been working on this for a while. Here are some thoughts:
- They are afraid they will lose their own train of thought unless they blurt it out right away.
- They think it can be quickly answered and figure it’s better to inconvenience you for a short time than be inconveniences for an indeterminate time waiting for you (yes, I realized this is being an asshole).
- They are so focused on their own thoughts they don’t realize they are interrupting until it’s too late.
Or maybe they are just rude idiots.
I had never thought of this. I can see that. I use sticky pads to make sure this doesn’t happen.
Another thought is that some people are just attention whores, pure and simple. They need people to look and listen to them all the time. If you’re talking to someone else, they’ll say something or do something or make a loud noise so suddenly all eyes are on them again. We had one working for us a while ago. She could ask you a question and in the middle of your answer (to her) she’d start talking again…louder, so she’d be talking over you. If she had to leave her ‘station’ for a few minutes she’d turn on her iPod so you’d be ever aware of her presence. Everything she did, she did LOUDLY. I mean, if you have a stack of something, do you really have to drop it on the counter instead of setting it down?
I could go on with examples, but keep the ‘attention whore’ thing in mind.
I have a problem with this, too, and I feel bad when I do it, but here’s one thing: sometimes I interrupt people because I worry that if I don’t address a certain point at the moment that it’s escaped another person’s mouth that I won’t remember what I wanted to say, later. Just a thought.
Some people are brought up in different conversational styles than others. Not a direct answer to the OP, but pretty close. I found myself being able to talk to my sister in law much better once I realized she thought interrupting and yelling were natural parts of conversation.
I had a coworker that was always guilty if interrupting me while I was speaking. And it was only me she would interrupt.
I often would let her finish talking and walk away. Or ignore her and continue with my original conversation. I often brought up my frustrations with her only for her to look at me dumbly, like she had no idea she did it. She would apologize but the behavior never changed. Finally, I would steer clear of her altogether and if it was a work - related conversation during a meeting with our boss, I would tell her she was being rude by interrupting. It shamed her into keeping her mouth closed.
Remember what I’m referring to is situations when you are talking to someone and an unrelated person comes up to you and interrupts your conversation. When my boss is talking to someone and I need to ask her something or tell her something, I never walk up to her and interrupt her conversation. I wait. And if she is taking too long, I grab a sticky note and write it down, so I will remember to tell her when she is available.
I did this just today to someone. She interrupted me in mid sentence to ask me something and I found myself unable to hide my frustration, and I said something like “could you just hang on for a second until I finish?” and she immediatly said oh ok I’m sorry and looked shocked, like she had no idea what she was doing was rude. The person I was talking to looked mortified. Like she wasn’t comfortable being in the middle.
Personally, I’m not interested in why people are rude, I’ve just come to accept that manners are a lost art.
What matters for me is that I’ve decided I’m not accepting rudeness.
If I’m on the phone and someone tries to speak to me, I ignore them while covering my exposed ear with my hand so I can’t hear them. They can wait or go away; not my problem.
If someone interrupts me while I’m in a conversation, I hold up my hand and give them the palm as in “you need to wait.”
I don’t discuss the issue unless they ask; I just refuse to let them be rude to me and move on.
This is a good idea.
Moderator Action
Moving thread from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion.
Usually I do it when I’m short on time and I can tell they aren’t talking about anything important.
The problem is the people of this type I have met believe everything they need to do is important and everything I need to do is not important. Frequently they also have no sense of time management so everything on their plate is not only seen as more important but needed!! right!! now!! even if I am working on a project that is literally due tomorrow and theirs is due in a week in a half.
From further interactions I’ve simply come to believe that they are self-centered rude assholes. They will always apologize about their behavior when called out and claim that they are trying, but not a single thing will ever change.
I snipped some…
What you posted is the real issue, imho.
"No one is more important than my thoughts, words, or time" is the basic mindset, whether they are consciously acknowledging this thought to themselves or not. ymmv of course