Pit: people who hog every conversation.

The BBQ Pit
1

I snapped at a co-worker (and friend) today because I’d had enough.

I said “Fucking hell [co-worker] every time I open my mouth you open yours a second later!”

He immediately said “I’m sorry”. Moments later I said sorry to him too, for snapping at him.

Maybe it’s just a statistical half-coincidence, but he really does have the habit of interrupting my turn to speak one second later, and with a higher volume.

I like to think I have an intelligent input to most conversations, but I find myself always having to let everyone else get their off-target points across first. I am persistant though, if the topic has deviated from that which I had constructed a sentence, I’ll bring it right back thusly “yeah, about [topic] though, I was going to say earlier” (but you guys wouldn’t let me).

2

Y’know, Pittings tend to work much better if you put them…

…nah. I’ll let someone else have this one.

3

Awwww crap
I swear I thought I was putting this in the pit, honest.

4

I have a habit of saying “Just let me know when you are done. I’ll wait.”

5

If I could get just those words in so that people’s minds registered them I’d think about using them.

But no, waiting seems to be my only option. Unless I shout. (but that would lead to funny looks)

6

I have this problem with two people in my life. A friend of 56 years and my mother.

The friend has a mind that goes a mile a minute. She is funny and almost takes my opening lines as an fodder for her cannon of funny remarks and wild tales. She is not going to change and she is worth the effort. I’ve very absent-minded and sometimes I can remember what my point was. She seems to show no awareness that she has taken the ball and run with it. I don’t care that much anyway. I liked her when she was six years old because she was funny. She still is.

My mother interrupted me frequently because she is rude and nothing I have to say is of any consequence to her if it is not about her. The rest of the family had commented often about her rudeness to me. One day about fifteen years ago, when she interrupted me in the middle of a story, I simply raised my voice and continued talking. That wasn’t easy for me because I easily lose track of what I am saying when interrupted. She raised her voice to talk over me. I continued to raise my voice and she raised hers a notch. We were finally going full blast, but I was a speech and theater major (along with other things) and knew I could out project and outlast. At some point I stated deeply and firmly with all of the gusto of a baritone, that I was not about to be interrupted this time and that she might as well give up trying to talk over me. Ah! success!

Oh course, you could just try the emotionally intelligent route and say, “Excuse me, Exployee X,…” and continue to talk. It takes practice and isn’t nearly as much fun.

7

The great majority of people tend to try to dominate conversations to a greater or lesser extent. It’s the ones who are almost pathological about it that you tend to notice. Sometimes you will run into people who are so bad about this that they literally cannot actually follow a conversation; anything that deviates from their planned monologue either confuses them or is dimissed as irrelevant. It’s terribly frustrating, and I don’t really know a solution to it except to just accept that you can’t talk to people like that.

I don’t know why some people have a problem with conversation. It’s not stupidity; we have a young lady at work who is very bright indeed, but trying to speak with her is akin to trying to speak with your television.

8

I have nothing to say but I know exactly what you mean and I hate that. I usually try to talk over the person and then it turns into a war of who can talk louder and faster.

9

I used to do this to some extent as a kid, and now I’m very sensitive to it being done to me. I can get amAZingly irritated when people talk over me.

10

I used to know someone who did this. Finally, it got to me and I said to him, “Is nothing I say of value to you? Every time I speak, you cut me off to talk about something else. That’s incredibly rude and obnoxious, and I’m asking you to stop it. A conversation is when I talk, then you talk, on the same subject.” It must have had an effect, as he stopped doing it, at least to me.

11

At my job, we’re often doing tedious things like picking through soil samples for worms and stuff. This means that we often engage ourselves in conversations and debates to keep from going crazy.

In my lab, there are three people who are really hard to communicate with.

Person #1 interrupts you in mid sentence to question whatever point she THINKS you’re about to make (and is usually wrong in this assumption). Or she interrupts to let you know that whatever you’re talking about, she’s done it before. Or she went to the same place. Or she knows someone who did it/went there. Do you know them?

Person #2 doesn’t interrupt, but he is always on the defensive when you’re talking to him. This includes even when you’re agreeing with him. So he says something about how much sexism sucks, and you agree with him and also add that sexism sucks because it perpetuates itself, and then he loudly says, “I’m not saying it doesn’t! I’m just saying it sucks!” Um, yeah. He also dominates the conversation and takes an eternity to get to whatever grandiose point he’s trying to make.

Person #3 will switch the topic of conversation without any warning. His middle name is non sequitur.

You: Have you ever been to the zoo, Person #3?
Person #3: No, but I’ve been to a Nine Inch Nails concert. And boy was it awesome!

or

You: I have a red car.
Person #3: I have a red car too.
You: What kind of car is it?
Person #3: A Pinto. And guess what I saw yesterday? A water mocassin! It hissed at me but I got a rake and threw it into the bushes!

These three characters make working So. Much. Fun.

12

I snapped at a co-worker (and friend) today

Ooh, who was it? Anyone I know?

because I’d had enough.

I know what you mean. I’ve had enough too. Speaking of having enough, I think I’ve had enough water. I’m about to burst! Oh, sorry. Was that too much information?

*I said "Fucking hell [co-worker] every time I open my mouth- *

Ha, it sounds like you’re talking about the dentist! Open your mouth, Lobsang. Say Ahhhhh. Speaking of dentists, I need a new one. My old one uses a flavor of fluoride that I don’t really care for. I mean, she’s nice and everything, but I want my teeth to taste clean. I don’t want them to taste like a gooddamn piece of bubble gum or something. Well actually she usually has spearmint flavor, and that kind I like okay. It’s very smooth, though sometimes when I have to bite onto that little tray that has the fluoride on it, it’s hard not to gag. I have a very strong gag reflex. In fact, once I threw up just thinking about getting a hair caught in my throat. Just thinking about it, I swear. It was crazy.

-you open yours a second later!"

Ooh, sorry. Were you not done with your story? Wait a minute, what were you talking about?

*He immediately said “I’m sorry”. *

Well I hope he sounded like he meant it. I really hate when people apologize but they don’t mean it.

Moments later I said sorry to him too, for snapping at him.

Ohh, ho! I hope you sounded like you meant it too!

Maybe it’s just a statistical half-coincidence, but he really does have the habit of interrupting my turn to speak one second later, and with a higher volume.

Ha ha. Yeah. Hey, have you ever thought the problem might be you, Lobsang? Oh my God, I am so kidding! Ha ha. Yeah, just kidding. I know what you mean. But seriously, it sounds like maybe you just talk way too much. Oh my God, I’m kidding!

*I like to think I have an intelligent input to most conversations, but I find myself always having to let everyone else get their off-target points across first. I am persistant though, if the topic- *

Ooh, sorry, but before I forget, can you remind me to pick up my clothes from the dry cleaner’s later today? I have a dinner to go to tomorrow, and I was planning on wearing a certain shirt to it, and I thought it was clean because I can’t remember the last time I wore it. Well wait, maybe I can. I think I wore it to Marge’s Christmas party. Did I wear it to that? Well now I’m confused. You know, I think I thought about wearing it. I think I might have even had it on at one point, but then I changed into a blue dress instead. Yeah, that’s right. I wore that blue dress that I bought on sale from Penney’s. So anyway, the shirt actually wasn’t clean, and I didn’t know if I’d have time to get it dry cleaned and everything. Actually, I don’t know if I’ll even wear it. I kind of feel like going shopping for something new. I wonder if any stores are having a sale right now. Do you know if any are?

Hey. Hey, is this some kind of joke? Lobsang, where did you go? I could have sworn you were here a minute ago. Oh great, that’s just like a man, wander off in the middle of a conversation. Just great.

13

OOOHHH…there’s this REALLY annoying girl in the project management department who’s like this! I work in the labs, so I don’t see her much, but on the few occasions I have lunch with her and others, she drives me NUTS!

Every conversation about anyone’s significant other (even something casual like "my SO and I did the groceries and bought this great new cereal!) leads to her interrupting and going ON AND ON AND ON about her boyfriend, who doesn’t really seem to want to be with her much, but she won’t let him go. She’s already picked her wedding…everything…and he’s said he doesn’t want to get engaged to her. She passes judgement on other people’s relationships, and pretends hers is oh-so-wonderful.

The other day, I was talking to someone else about a job offer I’d had before working where I am now (a contract position, so I didn’t take it, but I think I’d have liked to work there). The person I was talking to says that she’d considered going there too, and has a friend there who would be a good contact and could probably get her a job if she wanted one. Annoying Cow-orker then jumps in from out of nowhere and says " Oh, can I give you my resume, I’d like to work there too, if you’re not interested, you could have your friend get me in, blah blah blah". It was just REALLY rude and uncalled for!

Arrgh, upon rereading my post, I don’t think I’m getting across just how horrid this person is. sigh I take comfort in the fact that I don’t work with her every day, but one of my friends does, and everytime I want to have lunch with him, she manages to invite herself along. Grrrr.

14

There’s a guy I know who forces me into the rude interruptor role. I hate it, but I really have no choice. This guy will. not. shut. up. I don’t mean to imply that Lobsang or anyone else it this thread is guilty of continuous talking like this guy. I’m pretty sure he’s one of a kind. Actually, I think something is wrong with him. His constant talking is that extreme.

The only way to get a word in edgewise is to interrupt and talk over him. I’m not exaggerating when I say he never pauses his conversation. I’m beginning to think he has some mutant lungs that enable him to talk for an hour straight without taking a breath. He’s a really sweet guy and means no harm. He also seems completely used to the idea that people interrupt him.

15

I usually walk away from people who do this, which makes me come off as anti-social. My wifes whole entire side of the family is like this and you have to be very loud & self confident to be around them. I find it draining.

If someone close to me does it more than once or twice in a conversation I say something though.

That reminds me of a line in the Big Kahuna that goes something like, “Once you put your hands on a conversation to steer it, it isn’t a conversation anymore. It’s a sales pitch.”

Anyone wanna buy a copy of The Big Kahuna? :smiley:

16

Ambrose Bierce’s definition of a bore in the Devil’s Dictionary… " Someone who insists on talking about himself rather than hearing about me".

Something like that.

…

OK, just checked it…

BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/b.html

17

For a textbook case of someone who hogs every conversation, just listen to Tom Griswold of Bob & Tom Show fame.