I am typing this while a guy sitting two chairs down from me is telling me about… all kinds of things I know not what. I have said nothing but “Right,” and “Yeah,” to him for going on fifteen minutes now. He will not. Shut. Up.
Facebook is blocked from the terminal I’m at so you get to hear about it.
What IS it with people like this? He has an effing Ph.D ferchrissakes.
If your conversation partner has said nothing but “right” or “yeah” for fifteen minutes, consider the possibility that you may not actually be having a conversation.
The guy in the office next door to mine happened to run into General Petraeus in our office building. He “shook the general’s hand and told him he was a great American.” He then proceeded to repeat that story to every single person he had on his telephone contact list and every person he could catch in the hall going pat his office. I had to listen to him recount the story about 25 times throughout the day.
You have my sympathy, Frylock. I was asked to have Christmas dinner at the home of a co-worker with whom I’ve shared many great conversations about books, movies etc. Was really looking forward to it also because his wife is an artist, as am I. Instead, I had **three straight hours **of the wife dominating the conversation, no matter what I did to redirect it. If I asked one of the teenaged daughters a question, Mom would jump in and answer it. If I mentioned to her husband (my co-worker) a book we’d discussed, Wife would say, “I haven’t read that” and start discussing a book she’d read that neither her spouse or I were interested it. Then she proceeded to talk about her family’s genealogy and Finnish cooking (wtf?). I spent the last two hours doing exactly what you’re doing, “oh, really?” “hmmm,” “uh-huh.” She never got a clue. Like your torturer, she is an educated woman with a law degree. Go figure.
I suspect they may invite me back this year. I will, of course, already have plans, even if they are sitting at home talking to my cat. Too bad. I really like the husband, and the daughters are terrific young women.
These people think they’re socialites too! I am always aware and often think I am boring the pants off people I like, and try to make an effort to stop myself. These people never do.
I’ve got a coworker like that myself. Of course, he’ll do it over the most mundane things - how astonished he acts that the weather changed from sunny to raining of all things! Did you know that right when we were wondering why Client Y hadn’t called to pay, Client Y called us to pay? Unbelievable!
“Horror show”, “Unbelievable”, and “Amazing” are words he uses so often that I wonder if he even knows what they mean. I wonder if he is acting all the time, every day, or minor coincidences really do throw him for a loop every single time. Either way, he’ll get a person in a corner and talk them to death, and if anyone shows any interest in changing the subject or mentions that they have an appointment in 5 minutes, he just railroads over them. Literally. By talking over them.
Can’t stand the fellow. Most clients can’t either, but he’s too self-absorbed to get it. Everyone has the same word to describe him: Asshole.
My nephew will call me and I’ll say hello, and he’ll start talking non-stop for like 5-10 minutes. It’s like he just needs to get everything out of his head out of his mouth. Every once in a while, he’ll ask how my life is going. But for the most part, he just rambles and I half listen.
Politeness is pretty ingrained in me and I’m usually not confrontational enough to be outright rude to people, but people like this will get it from me. In one of my grad school classes, I often sat behind one young woman who would talk at me and not even take a breath to let me say, “Oh really?” or ask follow-up questions. Once I registered her total obliviousness to basic conversational rules, I had no qualms about turning away from her or picking my book back up and reading while she talked in my direction. She would usually shift in her seat slightly and find the next person within her eyeline to direct her conversation at, but sometimes she’d just carry on talking with no one paying attention to her.
When my sister calls, I put her on speaker-phone and continue to do whatever I was doing when the phone rang. Love her, but her phone editique is horrible.
My psycho ex frequently gives monologues that last an hour or two. It’s so boring. Usually he’s interesting to talk to but omg not when he gets to talking about “no one understands me because I’m so special and had such a hard childhood and my brother never was a good big brother to me and my family was poor and I never fit in because I was so intellectual but also such a thug and you never acknowledge how special I am enough.” Seriously, all the time. Hours. I miss some things but omg not that.
I was married to one. Well, technically I still am, but at least I don’t live with her.
No conversation about anything could take place without her jumping in with her own experiences and one-upmanship. No matter what experience you had, hers was more important and relevant.
Some people just don’t know how to shut up and listen.
Doesn’t anyone in this country know about assertiveness?
Turn to the person who is rattling on, smile and firmly say, “Excuse me, I can’t talk to you right now.” Or whatever serves as an appropriate excuse for why you aren’t going to talk.
Then carry on with what you are doing. You save yourself frustration, avoid unkindness and get what you need. This method frees him from his equally frustrating attempt to get attention and permission to go find someone who’s less assertive to impose himself upon.
Problem solved.
If he keeps talking. Hit him in the nose.
We have a dear friend who does this when she calls on her cell phone. She hops in her car on her way home from work, calls a friend, and goes into autopilot blabbing mode about her day and what she’s doing and blah blah blah.
I’d worry more about her talking and driving except she doesn’t seem to pay much attention to what you’re saying. A couple months ago, my husband’s mother had just died a day or two prior, and she called and was going ‘so this happened and that happened,’ and my husband just started repeating her name in a monotone, trying to get her attention. I think he said it took between 6-10 times before she heard, and asked “what?” To her credit, she was instantly apologetic when he told her, and talked with him about it after that.
I remember once at college, one of my acquaintances started rambling on about some video game to my dad while he was visiting for some father son day or something. After about 30 seconds, I turned to my dad and said, “Ok well I’m going to go to my room now, Paul is going to ramble on about this game for the next 15 minutes so if you want to get out now, I recommend it.”
And I just walked away. My dad had this flabbergasted look on his face, that I would say something like that in front of my friend, and then just walk away mid conversation. But then about 5-10 minutes later, my dad walked into my room looking kind of dazed and said, “you were right. He just kept going on and on about that game! He wouldn’t stop!!!”
I laughed and told him that Paul always did that and we were used to just walking away from him.
I recommend the same approach to anyone else who does this to you.
My mother-in-law was like that. One time I tried not speaking at all to see how long she would continue. It was well over half an hour non-stop. I couldn’t take it any more and excused myself.
I’d spray him in the face with water from a squirt bottle. Maybe a water pistol or in serious cases, a super soaker. Less chance of an battery charge that way.
My mom can be like that, but to be fair, it’s gotten worse since my dad died. She now lives alone, and even tho she’s involved in AARP and volunteering at the hospital and some activities in her church, she still spends a lot of time by herself. I’ve had to be sorta rude on occasion and break into a conversation to tell her why I called.
She can be the same way in person, but I’ve also noticed that she’ll actually stop and listen to my husband and not talk over him the way she does to me. Same with my brother. Funny how that works out… :rolleyes: She’s almost 80 - I don’t expect this to ever change, so I just deal.
A longtime friend of mine has become a droner. She never used to be this way, and I can’t figure out what caused the change. It’s gotten painful to talk to her on the phone or spend time face to face with her. Her long monologues, mostly having to do with the cute things her cat does, or her diet and exercise regime, seem to go on forever.
She’s sweet as can be, and I know she’d be crushed if I was honest with her.
Recently, she called me to scold me because she found out from a mutual friend, in passing conversation, that I had served on a jury for a high-profile crime, and she was unaware of this. It was my perfect opportunity to say “Hey, I talked to you DURING the trial, but couldn’t get a word in edgewise to tell you that something interesting was happening ion my life!”
So, she’s a droner, I’m a chicken and the friendship is dying.
Back when my mother was still alive, and living here with me, there was a couple who periodically stopped by. Who were they? The husband was a coworker of my father. Now, my father retired way back in 1978 and died in 1995. At no time did he indicate that these people were friends. But they stop by, unannounced, and stay for hours, the husband monopolizing the conversation, just like the guy in the OP. They always show up prior to dinner time, then invite themselves to the meal. Oh, and they’re both vegetarians, and complain if there’s meat in the meal.
My mother went along with this because she was too polite to ask them to leave. I am not that polite, so the first time they showed up after her death, I turned them away at the door. I’ve had to do this 5-6 times so far, and will continue as long as I have to. I wonder how many other people are putting up with them and feeding them.