For some unknown reason–and if there is a reason I don’t want to know it–I woke up with this song in my head this morning. One of the lingering effects from working in a record store all through the 80s.
So I U2Bed it, and was struck by how hilariously 80s it is. The beat, the voice, the wooden-faced model, the hair, the clothes–I think it might be the purest expression of the cliche 80s video.
Well, it’s definitely in the running. It might miss the top spot because of the lack of really big hair and neon coloured clothes (I mean fluorescent clothes 
).
I never heard of that band, but dang, that is a choice one!
Needs more make-up and pretentiousness. I give you Visage, Fade to Grey:
I feel like there are sub-categories. I can’t think of exact examples right now but here is a list of some different genres and their specific cliches.
80’s hair metal would have some obligatory scantily clad women, spandex, hair spray and make up for miles (on both the scantily clad women as well as the band members), and perhaps some random faux meaningful slow motion things like shattering glass, or a close up of a drop of water that turns into flame when it hits the surface.
That was a spoof tune, right? Tell me that was a spoof. I know the eighties won’t go down as a golden age in music but…
Hang on, this is still the Straight Dope yes? because we are 9 posts in and no-one has posted.
I’m enjoying all these rather more than I feel I should be.
How about Flock of Seagulls’ paean to the Middle East: Iran (So Far Away)
Total Eclipse or something by Heart would get my vote.
Here’s why I didn’t nominate that one: sure it has the craziest collection of WTF images of pretty much any video I can think of, and it’s from the 80s, but it’s kind of unique, stylewise. It’s a power ballad, not an 80s synthpop dance song. it’s kind of a genre of one. So while it might be the most insanely over the top video of the 80s, it’s not the “Eightiesest.” Noamsane?
Separate Ways. Slo Mo, that stick bass thing, silly track shots, zoomy camera, 80’s chick walking around for no reason, cheap location, fake instrument playing and singing. Not enough fog perhaps.
But my favorite thing is Steve Perry. Everyone else seems rather subdued, then he shows up and is absolutely killing every scene he’s in, at like 200% intensity. He’s like the Shatner of music videos.
The one video where people are “rick rolled”. That one. Kwin-tee-sen-shul.
As embarrassing as it is to admit, the 80’s were fuckin’ good times!
I came in to say this one.
